Cameron
D’lilah cried the entire way home, and as badly as I wanted to veer off the freeway to her place and drop her there, I couldn’t stomach leaving her alone in that house like this. She may not be my wife anymore, but she’s Ryder’s mom, and I owe it to him to take care of her. Especially when she’s this messed up.
She drops like dead weight onto the couch, hiccupping still from her sadness. I unbutton my tear-soaked, makeup-streaked shirt and slide it off.
“The guest room is made up. I’ll grab you something to sleep in.” I move to the hallway to grab her a tee and some boxers.
“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispers.
“You just need a good night’s sleep.” I take another step toward my room.
“What happened to us?”
What the fuck? I turn on my heel and study the crumpled-up woman on the couch, who is a mere shadow of the woman I married. “I don’t think you need a recap of our lives, ’Li.”
“No, I know. It’s just . . . You’ve dated women in the past, but you’re different with this Eve girl.”
I blink and step closer, curious. “Different how?”
“She’s making our son breakfast.” She wipes beneath her eyes. “Showing up at his birthday dinner. She’s special to you.”
“What’s your point?” This is bullshit. I don’t owe D’lilah a breakdown of my feelings, and I’m not at all comfortable with the lust swirling in her drunken gaze. Sooner she passes out, the better.
She pushes up from the couch and moves to me, stumbling at the seductive swing she’s attempting to throw into her hips. “We had some fun, didn’t we? Back before things got so complicated?” She stops inches from me; her drunken gaze eats up my bare chest.
“’Li—”
“Remember our honeymoon?” She tilts her head. “We couldn’t get enough of each other back then.”
She was breathtakingly gorgeous, but I never connected with her beyond the physical. Back then I thought the strongest kind of attraction was sexual. Animalistic need. Since Eve came along, I realize how much better sexual attraction is when I’m also attracted to the many facets of her personality.
“We got pregnant on that trip.” She presses her palm against my chest. “Remember—”
I grip her wrist. “That was a long time ago.”
“It doesn’t have to be, Cam.” She bites her lip seductively. “It can be just yesterday. For one night, we can pretend that I’m still the woman you fell in love—”
“No, ’Li.” I pull her hand from my chest. “I’m sorry.”
“No? But I’m offering you a chance to be that guy again. You were so powerful, so smart.” She pulls my hand up to place it against her chest.
I step back. “And now I’m not. Is that what you’re saying?”
Her eyes narrow. “I know you miss the old you. The old us.”
“I don’t, not even a little.”
She flinches.
“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.” I move toward the hallway. “It’s been a long day and an even longer night. Grab something to sleep in from Ryder’s room. We’ll get your car in the morning.”
I’m halfway to my room when she grabs my elbow from behind. “Cam, wait.”
I tug my arm from her hold. “Walk away, ’Li. I know what’s going on, and it’s not going to work. I’m with Eve.”
Her attempt at a sexy quickly morphs into confrontational. “She’s a child. It’s disgusting.”
“Watch it. I’m not above getting you a cab back to your place if you insist on insulting her.”
She shakes her head. “You’re nothing like the man I married.”
“Why, because I won’t fuck you? Because I refuse to be a part of this game you’re playin’? You want to feel better about yourself? Sober up. Get a job. Make a difference in your kids’ life. For once, make a healthy decision.”
“Says the guy who lost everything.” She grits the words through clenched teeth.
“Sleep it off, but make sure you’re gone in the morning.” I turn my back on her and slam my bedroom door behind me.
Fuck, this woman is a damn mess. I’ve tried too hard to fix her, to make up for all I’d taken from her, but no amount is ever enough. I can’t replace all that she lost, no matter how hard I try.
~*~
Eve
“Give me a second. I’ll be right back.” I put the cab on hold while I head up to Cameron’s house, not sure if I’ll be staying and worried finding another cab in this ritzy neighborhood will be impossible.
I’ve had little time to concoct my speech beyond the forward “What the fuck?” Flutters explode in my belly as I make my way up the drive. The smell of fresh cut grass from the golf course and warm desert air does nothing to soothe my nerves. There are no exterior lights on. I wonder if he’s even home? What if he’s at D’lilah’s house? Visions of what they could be doing together flicker through my mind a second before I squash them. No, I’m not going there.
Once to the door, I see through the front window into the living room. I lean over and peer inside, nearly falling backwards at the image that slams me in the chest.
Cameron’s shirtless and standing just a few feet away from where D’lilah’s seated on the couch. They’re talking, or she’s talking and he’s listening. My eyes lock on her blouse that is gaping off one shoulder. She gets up and sashays to him. Her hand rests against his chest and his on her hips. I swallow the thick ball of emotion that clogs my throat. I spin around, my back pressed against the door, breath coming in harder and being chased from my chest by the power of my racing heart.
How did I not see this coming? I was always a toy to him. His Doll. A plaything to keep him occupied until he and D’lilah could reconcile. No one would ever choose me over a supermodel. My own mother chose her life over her daughters. My father chose addiction. And Vince, well he was never in it for me. I wasn’t good enough then, and nothing has changed.
Cameron’s voice filters from behind the door. Is he headed this way? I sneak one last peek, panicked that he’ll walk out the door, but gasp at what I see. Cameron strides into the hallway toward his bedroom with D’lilah on his heels.
I struggle to catch my breath and race back to the waiting cab. “Go, please!”
The driver jumps, but luckily my outburst has the cab rolling forward. “Where?”
“Anywhere but here.”
Fuck! It happened again. I can’t believe I put myself in this position again. I actually thought Cameron was different. I groan and lean my forehead against the grimy window of the cab. Isn’t that what I think of every man who’s ever destroyed me?
I’m sick; my stomach threatens to unload. I hate him. I hate all of them, every fucking one.
Or do I hate myself?
I mumble my address, and it seems as if lifetimes pass before I’m finally in my bedroom, stripping off my dress and pulling on an old pair of sweatpants and a tank top. I wash my face, brush my teeth, and pull my hair back. I move through it all by rote until I fall in defeat to my bed.
The familiar burn of tears wells in my eyes, but I will not cry again over a man. I’d worked so hard to build up my barrier, and Cameron broke it down that first night we met in less than an hour. That shit won’t happen again.
I’ll make sure of it.