Kyle
A small rusty voice echoed in my head, startling me. The back of my hands sufficed for rubbing my eyes before I noticed Tiff was awake, and watching me with a small corner smile.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I don’t deserve to have you here, watching over me like this. Not after what I did last night.”
“Don’t say you are sorry. I’m the one who is sorry. I didn’t mean to rush you into something more serious than you were ready for.”
She winced. “My head hurts.”
“You had stitches, Tiff,” I informed her. “So, that’s not surprising. We should call the nurse in to check on you.” I wanted her to pinch me to make sure this was real. So many things, I wanted. Like my arms wrapped around her, holding her close to me, or my lips kissing hers.
Tiff nodded, and tears followed.
“You’ll be okay, beautiful.”
“I know.” She tried moving her injured arm toward me but stopped when she realized she was casted. “I hate being here, though. When will I be released?” Her upper arm was covered in bandages, and there were more on the back of her neck.
“I don’t know, but we’ll ask, okay?”
“Thank you,” she said closing her eyes.
I hoped she wasn’t going to fall asleep again. That she was awake and talking to me had made me feel a lot better, and I wanted more. I texted Ty to let him know she was up.
“Do the bandages hurt or make you uncomfortable?” I chuckled. “It looks like you’ve gotten half a sleeve and a neck piece done,” I teased, trying for some humor, which I sucked at, obviously.
“No tattoo today, bab– Kyle.”
“Babe is fine with me,” I said to watch her blush. I might have blushed, too.
A nurse entered the room then, talking a mile a minute. “Ms. Evans, good to see you up. How are you doing? Any pain?”
Tiff gave her head a delicate shake. “I really need to use the bathroom.”
What? “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped.”
“There is no way you are watching me pee, Kyle. We aren’t that close yet.”
I laughed, and so did the nurse. Even in a hospital bed, in pain, Tiffany still had her attitude and spunk. That had to be a good sign, right?
“Excuse me, young man, I need to help her out of the bed.”
Feeling useless, I let the nurse push me out of the way, and then watched as she helped Tiff up. With the connected IV, she would have to take the pole into the bathroom with her.
No sooner had she stood than Tiffany was closing her eyes and grabbing the IV pole for support. “I’m dizzy. I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Here you go, hon. Let’s sit you back on the bed,” instructed the nurse while she grabbed a metallic bowl just in time.
Tiffany threw up. Repeatedly.
I rubbed her back while the nurse yawned, bored. After numerous minutes, Tiff tried again, standing and wiping her mouth with a tissue. “Okay, I think I’m good to go.”
Helping her with the IV stand, the nurse escorted Tiff to the bathroom while I waited by the bed. A quick check of my phone showed Tyler had texted me back.
I’m on my way.
Okay. Bring me some food?
Already got you something, hon.
Hon? I rolled my eyes. What the fuck?
Fixing Tiff’s pillows and sheets on her bed before her return, I flipped over a pillow stained with blood. Her bandages made me feel helpless. I would never stop hating myself for not catching her before she left. None of this would have happened. No blood stains or stitches. No scar that would leave a mark on her skin forever.
“Kyle, can you move, please?” she asked, startling me out of my thoughts. Here I was zoning out and hating the situation while she needed my assistance.
“I’m sorry, sunshine.” I held her arm and helped her back into bed. “Feeling better?”
She nodded. “I’m actually hungry.”
Tyler arrived with food soon after, and they hugged for a long time. It was kind of touching how big brotherly he was with her. I took the ham sandwich he’d brought me and ate it out in the hall to give them some space. While I was eating, a nurse came with Tiffany’s food—broth and apple juice. Something light for her first meal after the incident. Probably to make sure she kept it down before giving her something more nutritive. After eating the sandwich, my eyes filled with tears again. What if I’d lost her, too? She was alive, and yet, I still hurt like hell. Did life have to be so cruel with me and Tiff?
I started to sob uncontrollably under the crushing weight of pain, fear, and the resentment I felt toward life.
“Hey man, she wants you back—” Tyler stopped talking at the sight of the mess I was in.
When he kneeled before me, I didn’t care that he was seeing me like this. I didn’t give a shit. I was sick of hurting, sick of the broken heart I’d lived with since Cassi’s death.
“I’d promised myself I would never care about another girl after Cassi. Look at me now.”
Tyler’s arm wrapped my shoulders. “It’s okay to feel something again, to care. Tiff is a great woman, for countless reasons. She’s strong and will be fine sooner than you think.”
“I know she is. It’s just fucking with my head, Ty.”
He pulled away. “She wants you back in the room. Go, man.”
Yes, I thought. Drying my tears, which I wished I’d controlled better, I got up and entered her room again. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Stop hurting yourself like this over me. I’m okay, K.” Her tired voice told me otherwise. She needed rest and someone to look after her.
I sat next to her on her bed, and she gave me her hand to hold. “You’ll be staying with me until you recover, okay? Please, no arguments. I need to make sure you are okay. I can’t imagine ever feeling right in my mind if you’re alone in your studio. Please,” I repeated, almost pleading.
She nodded and her bottom lip trembled. “Okay.” Her voice broke mid-word.
“We’ll get through this together.” In truth, I had more healing to go through than her. It pained me to see Tiff hurt, but it would have killed me to see her dead. I couldn’t think about it anymore as it seemed my heart failed each and every time.
The question was, why did I feel so attached to Tiff? Could these feelings and thoughts be anything like those I had for Cassidy? Deep down, I knew the answer. I had known for a while already, but the thought of telling her now, scared me.
“When I’m out of here, will you cook me some more of that Mexican food?”
I laughed. “For breakfast, lunch, and dinner if you want. As long as you are happy and alive, babe.”
Yeah, I called her babe, and she smiled as the sparks in her eyes returned. I’d made her happy. Maybe we could do this, because she made me more than happy.
She made me feel alive again.