Kyle
The first four days of our trip were pure perfection. Tiff and I Skyped with the gang back home, and I couldn’t stop talking about all the things we’d done. We’d just gotten back from Scotland; words failed to explain how beautiful and different things were. I’d fallen in love with London and Scotland, but knew there were so many more places to see in the UK.
“It’s only eight, do you want to go for a walk? We could stop somewhere to get a coffee or beer.”
I yawned but nodded at the same time. “Absolutely.”
Under the sunset, we enjoyed walking through the city and holding onto each other. Tiff and I had grown so much, in so little time. This trip was the best thing we could have done together. Nothing could take this away from us.
“I don’t understand how you don’t miss this place back in Seattle. It’s so much more here.”
“I’ve been here all my life, K. To me, this is every day. Mount Rainier, The Black Shakers, The Space Needle, Pike’s, those are fun to me. A breath of fresh air. I love my life in Seattle.”
A quiet chuckle escaped me. Witnessing her enthusiasm and interest in our home pleased my insecurities. “I love London, but it scares me. What if you want to make a permanent move back here?”
She squeezed my hand in a gentle way. “I will always want to come back here, but never for good… unless that’s a decision we’ve made together.”
I nodded but didn’t say more on the subject. Her answer made me happy enough.
“There’s a pub not too far from here I often used to go to. They have a live Indie singer and, sometimes, they’re really good.”
“Sounds fun, let’s go.”
She hopped up and down, expressing her joy, and then pulled me along with her. This—her energy—was what had me falling in love with her. Cassidy’d had it, too. That lust for life. Recognizing it in both of them just confirmed inside my heart that I would never regret my time with Cassi, not one second. Ever. But it was okay for me to move on and love again. Tiffany was my future.
Stopping outside the pub, we shared a passion-filled kiss. Jesus Christ! I wanted her so bad, and missed us being together, but her dad was the ultimate cockblocker. So, if kissing was all we got right now, then I would fucking kiss her like there was no tomorrow. I urged Tiff into my chest by pressing into the small of her back while she held my face with her small, soft hands.
“Kyle,” she whispered, our lips touching. Her warm breath danced on my skin, and I absorbed all the feelings and savored them.
My heart beat faster with every second we carried on; I had to step away before we took this too far. We’d displayed too much affection for the sidewalk already.
Not that I minded.
Once the sexual tension eased up, we entered the pub. Right away, we were taken into the imaginary world of the singer and his guitar. The music had so much flavor, Tiff couldn’t keep still, and she followed the rhythm of each song tapping her feet and moving her hips. She found us two seats while I grabbed beers. We sat close to each other, close enough for my fingers to rest between her thighs, holding her. A permanent smile stayed on her face most of the night as, beer after beer, we started getting tipsy. I’d had more than Tiff but was still surprised it took more than five beers to get buzzing. Maybe the lack of sleep or time difference was messing with me.
The singer announced last song and everyone started asking for more, much to my amusement. It’d been a great night. We finished our beer and decided to head back to her parent’s house. Drunk walking, laughing, and stealing smooches, we strolled along one of the main streets.
“Tiffany? Tiffany Evans, is that you…”
Her body tensed as she turned around to face a guy running toward us.
“It is you! How long have you been in town? I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
“This isn’t a good time, Rob.”
Rob? The cheating asshole. How dare he?
Tucking Tiff into my left side, I angled my right toward Rob then let him know where I stood. “Step back. You fucked up when you cheated on her. She’s with me now, and I really don’t like having you around her.”
“Who the fuck are you?” He took another step closer, pushing my buttons.
“I’m her boyfriend, which is all you need to know.” I stepped closer, too, adrenaline rushing through my legs and arms… every-fucking-where by that point.
“Rob, just leave. Please,” she begged him.
“What happened to you?” he asked turning his attention back to her. The way he looked at her, it was clear he still had feelings for her. Tenderness and concern emanated from his gaze. “I’ve missed you.”
Next, I took in Tiffany, and really saw her. Gone was the sparkle in her eyes I loved so much, now replaced by sadness. Anger or hate I’d expected, but not sadness. Sadness meant she was still involved. It meant she still cared.
“I just want five minutes of your time,” he pleaded.
When she hesitated, I got the hint. I had to let Tiffany deal with her unfinished business. “I’ll be around the corner.” Spotting the tears in her eyes had me hating this as much as I hated his fucking face.
“Kyle, stay,” she said, but I could hear the hesitation in her voice.
“Babe, I think this is something you have to do on your own.” I had no idea where I had gotten the strength to say that when, deep down, I didn’t want to leave her side.
I left her with her ex, a man who’d broken her heart. Wrong decision, I thought, but also understood she had to listen to whatever he had to say. I knew all too well how much it hurt to lose someone without a chance to say a proper goodbye. She needed closure. Him, too.
After waiting for at least fifteen minutes, I glanced back around the corner, and then bailed when I saw her back turned to me. I started walking, trying to convince myself she needed and wanted only me. He’d gotten her pregnant and she’d lost their baby; I knew the truth, though, he didn’t. They’d never talked after she caught him according to what she’d told me, so maybe she needed to tell him now, to clear her head and be able to move on. I wouldn’t know what she’d said, because I left… and then I lost my way back.
Not sure how long I’d wandered the streets, fatigue caught up with me and soon, I had to crash somewhere. I should have called Tiffany, but part of me was mad at her for agreeing to talk to him while the other part of me had been taken hostage by the beer and wasn’t making much sense. Fortune favored me when I found a hostel with a room open. Even if there was barely enough space for one person in the small rental, it was better than nothing. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pulled my phone out.
She had called me three times, but I’d never heard the ringtone. While I missed her voice and wished I could hear its softness, I had to give her space. I feared I would say something I’d regret if I didn’t. So, I texted her and then set the phone to mute—I refused to check notifications again before morning.
Go home and clear your mind. I’ll meet you tomorrow.
Lying back in the center of the bed, I stared at the ceiling with a troubled mind.
I should have fought for her.
I should have fought harder than I did. She was mine to take home.
Oh, god. What if she went home with him?
My mind was filled with images of Rob looking at Tiffany while Tiff stared back, her eyes filled with long buried emotions. Neither of them could hide the connection they’d once had, which hurt.
It had hurt me to watch them, to let them talk while I waited on the sidelines like an idiot.
So, I didn’t fight.
I declared forfeit too soon, making the decision to fucking leave.
Wishing I had some beer or Jack Daniels—because there was no way my mind was letting me go to sleep tonight—I groaned. Seemed my next few hours would be a mental reflection of all the bad and good decisions I’d managed to make in one night.