CHAPTER 14
JOSIE
Watching his backside as he retreats should be second nature for me. This isn’t the first time he’s walked away from me and likely won’t be the last. If I’m lucky he’ll be gone for another ten years and I won’t have to deal with him anymore.
He frustrates me to no end with his cocky ass I don’t give a shit attitude. Doesn’t he know he’s messing with my kid? He knows he has no intentions on staying and playing make-up daddy, so why is he even trying now? Why can’t he just go back to wherever it is that he came from and leave us the hell alone?
“You’re going to break your fingernails if you clutch your hands any tighter.” Katelyn smirks at me as she walks by. Peyton turns and gives me a dirty look. Lovely, so she heard me tell Liam to get out of town. I know she asked him to watch football with her, but seriously Katelyn should want her as far away from Liam as possible.
“Stop taking his side,” I say as I stalk behind Katelyn. I’m a coward and say it to her back because I don’t want to see her disappointed look. Noah is already in the backseat when I climb into my car. He stares at the window, avoiding eye contact. His arms are crossed over his chest as he sighs repeatedly. I’m not changing my mind. I don’t care how long he ignores me for.
We have to sit and wait for Nick to get done talking with parents. I seethe when I see Candy Appleton touch Nick's arm. She’s always wanted what’s mine; first Liam and now Nick. I press the horn, alerting him that I’m waiting. I’m in no mood to sit in this parking lot while they make goo-goo eyes at each other.
“What’s your problem?” Nick asks when he finally gets into the car. I should’ve walked home. I thought about it. I could’ve used the time to cool off and get my thoughts together.
“She’s mad because I was talking to Liam,” Noah blurts out causing Nick to look at me.
“Noah, be quiet,” I say through clenched teeth. I’m trying not to cry over this bullshit with Liam and Noah, I am. I’m trying to be strong and hold my ground. He’s been gone for ten years and he can’t just show up here and act like nothing is wrong.
“What’s going on?” Nick asks in his quiet and calming doctor tone. It’s driving me nuts. I want him to tell Noah that he can’t talk to Liam. I need him to back me up on this, but he doesn’t. He just starts the car and backs out of the parking lot.
“You going to talk to me?” he asks. I shake my head, staring out the window at the passing store fronts. Merchants are out decorating for the fall and I realize I haven’t. I need to. I can’t be lacking when my store is prominent on Main Street.
“Drop me off at the shop please,” I ask without looking at Nick. He reaches for my hand. I let him hold it, but don’t hold his. I’m too pissed and the last thing I want is to be coddled.
“Josie –”
“Don’t Josie me. I need to go to work. I should’ve never taken the day off.” Nick doesn’t respond, he just nods and drives toward my shop. When he pulls up to the curb I jump out without saying goodbye. I know I’ll regret my attitude later, but right now I’m pissed that no one is on my side.
The fragrant smell of flowers over-powers me when I open the door. I forgot to leave the fan on when I left the other night and wonder how many flowers are ruined as a result. Ruined by everything that is Liam because he showed up here, in my shop, my one place that has nothing to do with him and now it’s tainted.
I turn on only the back light, hoping to avoid people coming in. Regardless of the sign saying Closed, locals will still come in and visit. They like to talk, drink coffee and tell me their life stories while I trim and prepare bouquets.
The crunching of glass reminds me of Liam again. It seems that no matter where I turn, he’s there interrupting my life, creating havoc in his path. Who knew his return would cause me so much turmoil.
Even Katelyn has opened her arms to him like the last ten years haven’t mattered. Nick only wants him to sign away his rights and Noah… Noah wants Liam to be his best friend. And I want… I don’t know what I want except for everything to go back to the way it was two weeks ago when Mason was walking in here on Monday morning ordering flowers for his wife.
Once the glass is cleaned, I turn on my iPod and get to work starting on my window displays, to create the perfect fall image, lining my window with mums and corn stalk. I’ll have to remember to ask Noah, if he’s talking to me, if he can make me a scarecrow. I add bushels of dried lavender to give the window just a bit more color. Not everything has to be red and gold.
Propping the door open for fresh air, I decide the steps need mums and cornstalks too. I need to keep busy or I’m going to start thinking about Liam and Noah and Nick. I stop dead in my tracks. How can Liam come to my mind over Nick when he’s been there since Noah was three? How does he become third in my thought process?
It’s simple, he shouldn’t. He’s so much more of a man than Liam. He’s smart and educated, accelerating through college to open his small practice to give back to the community. He's the type of man someone thinks about first, not last.
“Need some help?” I don’t turn around because I know that voice. I’ll never forget that voice whether he’s yelling or whispering into my ear. It’s the same one that haunts my dreams, turning them into nightmares lately.
“I don’t need anything from you, Liam.” I tie the last of the stalks into the metal hooks on the façade. They’ll hold as long as we don’t have some freak wind storm.
But then again, Liam did blow into town without any warning.
“I just want to talk, Josie. We can be adults about this.”
The moment I turn around I wish I hadn’t. For the first time, I’m really looking at him, all of him. His arms are bare and I can finally see his tattoos – not that I was trying to earlier but I’ve been curious. I focus on them before granting my eyes permission to take in the rest of him. His arms are still defined, just like in high school, but probably more now. His jeans, distressed and likely expensive, not the Levi’s he wore when we dated, hang loose on his waist. Even with a belt they look as if they might fall down if he isn’t careful.
He looks at me when my eyes reach his and smirks, but not with the smug intent from before. He knows I’m checking him out and he’s allowing me to do so without calling me out on my bullshit.
I’ve never thought tattoos were sexy, but staring at Liam now I wonder if he has any that I can’t see and I want to ask him what they all mean.
“Do you have…?” I trail off. That question is crossing a line that I’m not willing to step over.
“Do I what?”
“Nothing, never mind,” I say shaking my head. I walk up the stairs and leave him standing on the sidewalk. I kick the door shut, effectively shutting him out.
“Josie,” he says so softly I almost allow my heart to break. I miss that voice and now its here, banging in my head. I just want to scream and tell it to move out.
“I’m sorry for earlier and I wanted to ask you about something you said.”
I push my hands into my hair while he speaks to my back. When he touches me, I want to melt and crawl into his arms, but that is the old me. This me turns and looks at him with nothing but anger and hatred in my eyes and he knows it because he steps back and shakes his head.
I raise my eyebrow indicating he can continue.
He takes a deep breath and looks at me before staring at the ground. He plays with his lip and I fight every urge I have to take his hand away from this mouth and lock his fingers with mine, just like I used to.
“You said you tried to tell me about Noah. I know I changed my number and that was a shit thing to do, but you said you tried and I’d like to know how.”
“Why should I tell you?” I cross my arms over my chest defiantly.
“I’m asking you to give me a chance here, Jojo. I know I screwed up, but you weren’t fucking there so you don’t have a clue what I was going through.” Liam starts pacing and pulling at what little hair he has. “The stress and being alone, I just—”
“Cheated?” I interrupt.
His head snaps up in my direction and I know the answer before he even has to say the words. “Never,” he whispers. “I would’ve never disrespected you like that. When we were together I never even looked at another girl the way I looked at you.”
“You left me. I obviously wasn’t enough for you.”
“My God, are even you listening to yourself? It wasn’t about you. It was about me and this change I went through.”
“I would have thought you could have come up with something better than that, given that you are such a genius with words. Why didn’t you just tell me you weren’t happy?”
“Because it wasn’t like that, I felt like… like I was suffocating.”