CHAPTER 21
LIAM
It feels good being back in my studio. Since returning, I’ve been writing like crazy. I think at this point I have enough for a new album. Today, my bassist, Jimmy, and drummer, Harrison, are coming in to lay down some melodies.
I should be happy, but I’m not. This is why I left my life behind. I’m antsy as fuck and want to get back to Beaumont. The first few days back were questionable. I tried to call Noah a couple of times but couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if he didn’t want to talk to me now that I was gone?
The moment I saw his face light up my screen, I knew that wasn’t the case. When I answered he seemed happy, excited, asking a lot of questions about L.A. and the studio. He asked me to send him pictures of the cat and I did.
Now I can’t talk to him enough. The hours that he's at school and the time difference make me anxious. Weekends are now my friend.
And I hate Mondays, effectively killing my high from spending hours chatting with my son. I haven’t told the band yet, but I will. I just want to keep Noah to myself for a bit. Harrison is the only other parent around; he has a seven-year old boy. Quinn is a product of a one-night stand that turned into the baby mama dropping her blue bundle of joy on Harrison’s door step. Instant daddy.
When I see Josie’s face on my caller ID, panic ensues. Something must be wrong with Noah otherwise she wouldn’t be calling. We haven’t spoken since I left. It’s not that I don’t want to, but I don’t want to screw shit up for her and Nick.
“Hello?”
“Hi.” She's breathless. I close my eyes and count to ten. She can’t talk to me like this. It kills me that she’s not mine.
“Wha…” My voice catches in my throat from the way she said hi. I need to get a grip here. It was just a common two-letter word. It doesn’t mean anything. “What’s up?”
“Today is Monday.” She says this like it’s supposed to mean something to me. I rack my brain, wondering if Noah had mentioned something particular about this Monday.
“It usually follows Sunday,” I say, hoping to lighten her mood.
“Mason sends Katelyn a dozen roses every Monday and today will be the first day that she won't get flowers since…” If I didn’t know better I’d say she’s crying.
“Well, we can’t have Katelyn missing her flower delivery, now can we?” I pull up the internet and type in the address for the global florists. I choose a bouquet of lilies over the roses and request they be delivered via Josie’s shop. “All set.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I ordered her flowers. She’ll get a delivery every Monday for a year.”
“Liam…” her voice breaks and now I know she’s trying to control her emotions. These past weeks have been hard on her. The Josie I knew was always strong and confident then she lost Mason and I returned, creating havoc. We stay on the phone for a few more minutes before she has to go and fill my order. Hanging up with her is the last thing I want to do, but work calls for both of us.
When the guys come in, they seem happy. This mini-vacation must’ve done them good. We sit down and I show them the songs I’ve been working on. Harrison starts laughing at a few of them, earning a punch from Jimmy. I sit stoically, waiting for them to say something.
“Did you fall in love while you were away?” Harrison asks. Yes, but I never really fell out of love. She just showed me what I’ve been missing all these years.
“No, saw a lot of old friends. My buddy died and left behind a wife and two kids. Sort of hits home, I guess.”
“Well, I like them,” Jimmy says. “Putting music down for these won’t take us much time at all. I already have a few ideas.”
We take to the studio and start brainstorming with different sounds. Most of the songs could end up being ballads, but we want to stay away from that. We need to add a rock vibe to keep our fans interested. If I put out an album full of love songs people will think I’ve gone soft.
“Painkillers has to be a slow song,” I say when Jimmy starts singing it.
“Why? We could blow this one up.”
I shake my head. “I want that one slow. I want people to feel the words and what they mean. I don’t want them lost in the loud vibrations.”
Painkillers is the first track we work on. It only takes a few tries before I’m happy with the melody. I’m going to have to push Sam to make this our first single. I want to release it as soon as possible.
After the guys leave for the night I work on mixing. Playing Painkillers, over and over, until I’m happy. I decide we're going to give it another shot tomorrow before we record the final.
Papers land on my mixing board. I turn down the track and leave my head phones on. I want to hear myself sing to Josie. This song has to be perfect. Sam is leaning against the board, pissing me off because she knows not to touch my shit. “What’s this?”
“What do you want?”
“Were you going to tell me you’re back in town?”
I turn away from her and move the papers she threw. “You’re my manager, not my mother. You handle my affairs, not my personal life, Sam.”
“Well, this is my job.” She picks up the stacks of papers and starts flipping through them. “Let’s see… 'Liam Page playing at Ralph’s no cover.’ ‘OMG Liam Page is so hot he’s at Ralph’s free show.’ Oh, and my personal favorite… ‘Liam Page Debuts New Song at local pub.’”
“Get to the point. I’m busy.”
“This!” She shakes the papers in my face. “Is my point! You were off doing god knows what with god knows who and decided to have a free show without even consulting me. Jesus, Liam! Do you know how much of a PR nightmare this is?”
I refuse to answer her because she’d never understand why I did the show in the first place. She doesn’t do nice for any of her friends. It’s all about what-can-you-do-for-me with her and that’s not who I want to be. The show was a success and Ralph did a hell of a lot of business that night. I have no regrets.
“Are you listening to me?”
“Not really. I’m trying to work.”
“I knew you heading back to that po-dunk town was a mistake. Maybe I should go check out Beaumont and see what all the excitement is about.”
I pull off my head phones and stand-up to face her. “What’s your problem?”
“You, Liam. I’m sick of this cat-and-mouse game we play. It’s time to make a decision.”
I start to laugh, anger building. “You're the one playing games. I’m not into you. What we did was a mistake, Sam, a very weak moment on my part because you were available and willing to give me what I wanted.”
“You don’t mean that,” she whines. I stuff my hands into my pocket, feeling for my phone. It’s time for me to call Noah. I walk away from her, until she grabs my arm. “Liam, what we had was special.”
“What we had was sex, nothing more.”
I leave her standing in the studio. I need to rein her in before she gets out of hand. Lately she’s been more possessive and it’s starting to scare me. I should’ve never mixed business with pleasure and she’s strictly business.
I walk down the hall until I’m far enough away from the studio. Crouching down, I pull out my phone and call Noah.
“Hey dad,” he answers before the first ring has completed. The sound of his voice sends warmth through my body. I want to record his voice so I can play it all the time.
“What’s up, buddy? How was school?”
“It’s okay. I have to do a history report, but mom said she’d help me.”
“That’s good. You know I’d help if I was there, right?”
“Yeah, I know.” When he speaks, I know he means it. I can’t detect any remorse in his voice at all. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.” My knees start to cramp so I stand, leaning against the wall that holds my gold records.
“Do your mom and dad want to be my grandparents?”
I stiffen at the mention of my parents. I haven’t spoken to them since the night I left. My dad told me I was a disgrace and stupid for giving up football to pursue music. Said I’d never make it. My mom just stood there, a tumbler of vodka in her hand.
“What are you doing home?”
You always know you’re welcome in your home when you’re greeted like that. Sterling folds and sets his newspaper down, pulling off his glasses. Bianca stands in the foyer, her vodka glass permanently stained with her scarlet red lipstick.
“I need to talk to you.”
“What did you do, Liam? Are you in some type of trouble?”
“No, Sir. I…” I can’t look at him. He’s always looked down on me, making me feel two feet tall. “I left school.”
“Obviously, you can return in the morning.”
I shake my head. “I can’t go back. I quit.”
“What do you mean you quit?” he bellows causing my mom to jump, the ice rattling around in her glass.
“I thought it would be different and it’s not and I’ve been talking to Grandma Betty—”
“YOU WHAT? Do you think I’ve raised you to be a Westbury so you can associate with trash like that?”
“Trash? She’s your wife’s mother,” I point to mom who has no expression on her face. “My god, what is your problem? She’s family. I know what you did. What you both did. Mom, you gave up your dreams to marry him.” I point at my dad. “And you made her. Why? Why weren’t her dreams as important as yours? Look at her! She’s a damn robot.”
“Betty is clearly poison if that is what she told you. So tell me smart ass, what are your plans?”
“I’m going to go to Los Angeles for a bit to try my hand at music.”
Sterling starts laughing. A maniacal laugh. Bianca walks into the room and fills her tumbler. She must coat her liver with medicine in order to function. Typical.
“If you do not return to school immediately, don’t come back here.”
“You’re kicking me out for following a dream?”
Sterling picks up his paper and pops it open, crossing his leg. “No, Liam, I am simply instructing you of your options. You have two: you can go back to school, speak with your coach and secure your spot on the team, or you can walk out that door, lose your trust fund and forget that you’re a Westbury.”
“I don’t know, buddy. Let’s talk about it when I come back okay. My parents… they're difficult sometimes and we don’t always get along.”
“Okay. What are we doing to do when you get here?”
“Well, I thought we could look for a house. I don’t want to stay in a hotel when I’m there and I was thinking that maybe your mom will let you stay with me for the time I’m there, but I’ll have to talk to her about it, okay? You don’t need to bring it up. I’ll take care of everything. I gotta go though so I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Night, I love you dad.”
“I love you too.”
I slide down the wall after Noah hangs up. I knew my parents were going to come up sooner or later, I was just hoping for much, much later.
My hand runs through my hair. I think I’ll grow it out to the way Josie liked it, maybe then she’ll look at me with different eyes. I’m not going to lie, I want my girl back.
“Did you knock someone up?”
I turn to see Sam standing in the hall, hands on her hips. She’s pissed.