CHAPTER 23
LIAM
Josie is in L.A. today. In fact, she’s downstairs in the convention center. I know this shouldn’t be the only thing on my mind, but it is. I snagged one of the agendas for the trade show she’s attending so I could keep my schedule clear. I've canceled two interviews – which did not go over well with Sam. She demanded, in a very high pitched screech, that I was to tell her who I knocked up while I was gone so she could do damage control. I’ve told her repeatedly that no one is pregnant, but she’s not buying it. Her obsession with pregnancy is starting to scare me.
I wanted to meet Josie at the airport, but didn’t dare ask her when her flight was arriving. I need to try and keep my cool even though I’m tempted to visit that side of the hotel and see if I can find her. We're having dinner tonight in my penthouse. I’m not taking her out of this hotel if I can manage it. I don’t want her face splattered all over the gossip columns and rag TV shows. I don’t even want the press to know her name. They’ll start digging and that will put Noah in harm’s way.
I shouldn’t bring her to my room though. I know it’s a mistake, but since I kissed her the night we told Noah about me being his father, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. I know she’s off limits. I know she’s marrying another man, but I’m a glutton for punishment because having her in my space is enough for me, even if I can’t touch her like I want to.
I look at the nameless cat sitting on the window sill and have to laugh. Noah can’t wait to meet him. I’ve started looking for houses in Beaumont, something for me and Noah. Most of the houses there are good size, but I want a nice big yard and something with a basement that I can soundproof and turn into a studio. As much as I’d love to take a week off a month, deadlines are looming and this new album is coming together rather quickly. That means Sam will schedule another tour and put us back out on the road and farther away from Noah. I should’ve stalled on these songs.
A knock and announcement of room service puts a smile on my face. The front desk knows to give Josie an access card to my floor when she presents herself there in a few minutes. My nerves are on edge.
Opening the door, it’s one of my regular delivery guys. This is good and bad. Good because I know him. Bad because he knows I eat alone and I’m definitely not eating alone tonight.
“Having company tonight Mr. Page?” he asks as he pushes the service cart into my room.
“No, Michael, just a meeting.”
“This is some fancy and romantic dinner for a meeting.”
“She’s writing a book. I need to make sure she gets everything right. I don’t want to be misquoted,” I lie through my teeth.
“I hear that Mr. Page. Where do you want it?”
I want it in my bedroom, but that’s just not an option. Over by the balcony is where we are going to eat, but I don’t want room service to know that. I have no doubt Michael is going to gossip when he gets back down downstairs.
“We’ll eat at the table,” I say. He nods and pushes the cart over there, unloading and setting the table. I look at my watch, counting the seconds as they go by. He seems to be moving extremely slow. She’s going to show up any moment.
“I put the extra bottle of champagne in your refrigerator, sir.”
“Thank you, Michael.” I hand him his tip and he’s out the door. I breathe a sigh of relief. Now I just need Josie.
A soft knock sends me running to the door. I look down at what I’m wearing and bang my head against my fist. I should’ve changed. We're having a nice dinner and I’m showing up in jeans and a t-shirt. I open the door, my breathing stops. Standing before me is my girl. Her hair is up in a bun, a few strands hanging down all around her head. She’s wearing a red v-neck dress that is showing me every curve that I remember and some new ones that I think I need to learn. Her dress stops at her knees and is quickly met by black knee-high boots. An image of me on my knees with the zipper in my mouth flashes before my eyes. Definitely something I want to try… with her… someday.
“God, Jojo. You’re beautiful.”
She blushes and runs her hands down the front of her dress. Moving aside to let her in, I inhale deeply when she passes so I can take in her scent. Pure flowers, very Josie. When she walks by my eyes feast on her backside, I swallow hard.
I slam the door causing her to jump. When she turns her blush hasn’t subsided and I hope it’s because I do that to her and not because she’s having second thoughts about being up in my room.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s fine. I’m just a little jumpy today.”
I understand the nerves. I’ve had them all day. I guide her into the living room area. Her eyes go wide when she sees the view from the glass wall.
“Wow, Liam this is…” she steps over to the wall, leaving me standing here and giving me the opportunity to watch her take in the bright lights of Los Angeles. She shakes her head, her hand covers her mouth.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, keeping my distance.
“I can see why you left me. It’s beautiful.”
“It’s pretty spectacular at night when it’s like this, during the day, not so much.” I come up behind her and place my hand gently on her hip. “Look over there.” I point to where the spotlights are lighting up the sky. “That’s a movie premiere. There are probably a couple thousand screaming fans down there right now.”
“Have you ever been?” she asks. She closes her eyes and leans her head my shoulder. I have to remind myself to be a good boy.
“I have. It’s an experience.” I hold her like this for a moment, wishing it could be all night. “Josie, what you said, about me, leaving you for this. It’s not like that. I wanted you with me every minute of every day, but I didn’t think you’d come.”
She doesn’t reply and does the unthinkable and turns away from me to look around the room. She touches my Grammys, my gold records and the album covers I have on the wall.
“You’ve done really well for yourself.”
“I was determined. I had a lot to prove.”
“To who?”
“Me, mostly.” I bring her toward the table, pulling a chair out for her. She sits and I push it in slightly. She pulls her napkin to her lap while I pour glasses of champagne. “Sorry I didn’t dress up. This is my usual attire until I’m at one of those events.” I motion to the window.
“Do you go often?”
I pull the covers off our food and sit down. “It depends on what I have going on. If I have a new album coming out, yes I go. It’s free publicity and I’ll be able to push the release date or talk about the single playing on the radio. I’ve had to go a few times because I, well actually my band, have contributed to a soundtrack.”
Josie is quiet for a few minutes. She focuses on her food and I wonder if I said something wrong. I hope that I didn’t, but she has to see how different my life is here over what we would’ve had in Beaumont.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” she says before taking a sip of her champagne.
“Would you have liked all of this? The lights, noise, the traveling and long hours. Not being able to live a peaceful life. There would be no walking down the street without someone taking your picture. You’d worry about what or who you were wearing to a premiere and people would be your friends because of who you are or married too. Is this something you could see for yourself?”
Josie puts down her fork, bringing her napkin to her lips. When she pulls it away, she smiles at me. “If you're asking me today if I could live like this, the answer is no. I’ve lived such a quiet life for the last ten years I wouldn’t know what to do with all of this if I had to do it now. But had you said you were giving me an option of never seeing you again or moving here so you could try your hand at music, I would’ve gone with you. I would’ve left that night because you were my life, Liam.”
“I didn’t think you would and I didn’t want to hear you tell me no or belittle me for wanting something different. I needed to try this.”
“And now that you have?”
I shake my head. There is no right answer for this one. It won’t matter what I say because I’ve lost ten years with her and our son. “I love my life, Jojo, and I hate it all in one. I love what I do – making music and entertaining people. I wrote a whole album that you and Noah inspired in two weeks. That feeling alone is indescribable for me.” I lean forward and pull her hand into mine. “But not having you in my life has been tough. I miss everything about you and I wake up in the morning and think ‘what the fuck did I do’ because I had the most beautiful girl on my arm and gave her up for what… this?” I spread my arm out. “I live in a hotel because it’s convenient. They do my cooking, cleaning and laundry if I want them to. I have someone who dictates what interviews I can give and whose designer clothes I’m going to wear. I’m her fucking puppet because I pay her to do this job and I think about giving it up, but then I remember why I do it and can’t.”
“You’re really good at what you do.”
“Thank you,” I say bringing her hand to my lips. I place small kisses along her knuckles. I reluctantly let her hand go and pour us some more champagne.
“Are you trying to get me drunk?”
I give her my patented look. Her mouth drops open, her eyes glaze over. Josie has just met Liam Page.