Nadine and everyone else had taken an early train together from Richmond that morning so no one’s parents had to drive them here, missing their own Thanksgiving festivities. Before my sisters and I had even woken up, Mom took Dad’s van to go get our friends. Just after breakfast, as I am putting my cereal bowl into the dishwasher, we hear the van pull into the driveway.

"They’re here!" Reilly squeals, jumping up and down a little in place, in the middle of the living room.

I can’t help but run for the front hallway along with everyone else. I’ve been waiting forever for this. I feel like I’m getting a piece of my life back, bringing it here with me to Fairview from home. The four of us clamber around a window and watch everyone pile out of the van. One, two, three, four, five. Everyone made it. I’m not sure why I was worried they wouldn’t, like someone would just skip coming and not have told us or gotten lost along the way. But they’re here.

Mom opens the front door and leads the group inside, there’s only a moment of silence before chaos erupts in a group huddle of hugs and high-pitched voices.

I dodge around my sisters before I can get to Nadine, as soon as she is within arm’s reach, I pull her toward me in a massive hug. It’s a little out of character for both of us, who tend to hold back from big dramatic displays of affection, usually mocking the girls in our class who have to hug their friends every time they see them like it’s a ten-year reunion—Reece—but even we get swept up in the moment. She is really here!

I’m dying to ask a million questions even though I can already guess at all the answers, but it’s been so long since the two of us could spend any real time together.

I’m not sure when my parents slip away from our group, but as soon as I calm down, I follow suit and drag Nadine to the living room. I don’t want to share her today, but we only get a few hours before all things Thanksgiving commence. Dad isn’t letting all the extra company deter him from cooking for his favorite holiday. As always, he’s made it clear that sooner or later we will be expected to help. Especially now that he’s being called on to make twice as much food as usual. A ridiculous amount of food, really. As if the amount of groceries that is stockpiled in our kitchen is any indicator.

"So, this is where I live now," I say, closing the living-room door behind us and hoping that everyone else takes the hint.

Nadine laughs. "I got the cellphone grand tour when you moved in." But she still ends up wondering the edges of the room as though reconciling everything I showed her when we moved in with the reality. More than once, she gives me a strange look and then opens her mouth as though to say something, but changes her mind at the last moment.

It’s not long before she has settled in on the couch. Mimicking her action, I flop out on an armchair before the two of us are chatting like nothing has changed.

I wish.

At least two hours pass before Dad calls through the dining room, looking for some extra pairs of hands, I’m bummed that our first few hours are already over. It’s time we won’t get back.

We take way too long to pull ourselves back into the real world and make it to the kitchen, entering a realm of vegetables, desserts and fresh bread. The kitchen smells amazing but looks like a war zone.

Dad gives me a long look as we slip into the kitchen, probably attempting to point out that we should have volunteered our services a while ago. Reilly and Lily have already set about making up the dining room table while Reece and her friends chop vegetables.

Nadine and I set to work on tidying up behind everyone else, doing our best to keep things organized as my dad directs his troops toward a successful Thanksgiving dinner, if not a hectic one. We will be using both the dining room and kitchen for our Thanksgiving meal. Despite the two designated eating areas, we still need a few more chairs to make room for everyone. If nothing else, we're well versed in chaos in the Donovan house, so things will work out.

* * *

By the end of dinner, my body is ready for a small coma because I had at least a few bites of everything. I ended up eating half of my dinner in the dining room, somehow losing my chair as soon as I got up to grab more mashed potatoes. I ate my seconds in the kitchen with Reece and her friends. For dessert, I ate standing in the doorway between the two rooms. Even Reilly’s plate was stacked high with food, despite the fact that she’s been a vegetarian for more than a year now and had less Thanksgiving options than everyone else. At first, Nadine mostly sticks close to me, but as she gets more comfortable back in the world of Donovan insanity, I can see her start to relax, easily falling into conversations with everyone else.

Eventually, almost everyone settles in to watch football. Those of us who care least about the sport volunteer to take on the dishes to keep busy until we’re forced to join everyone else. Not long after, I fall asleep, unable to ignore my body any longer, I’m squished on the couch in between Riley and Marybeth. Nadine is already asleep on the floor near my feet.

I wake up as the game is ending, panicked that I’ve missed some of my time with Nadine. We only have two full days left, and I’m aware of every hour that goes by. It won’t be long now before everyone heads upstairs to sleep, and we lose even more time.

I poke Nadine with my foot and find she’s already awake. It looks like she’s texting her mom to check in, probably not for the first time that night. Mrs. Nng is not the type of person who has ever been described as easy going. "Want to go back upstairs?" I ask Nadine.

She nods, we excuse ourselves quietly to go upstairs before Rhiannon can claim the space.

* * *

"It looks good in here," Nadine says, thumbing her way through my bookcase.

"I already sent you pictures of pretty much every room in the house," I point out.

"Looks better in person." She picks up a small superhero figurine displayed on my shelf, but puts the book down a moment later. "I’m glad I got to come see you." I’m about to say I’m happy she got to come to, but she barrels on. "So much has changed since you guys moved. We talk all the time, but it seemed like you and I were losing touch. We’ve both seen people move away before, and in the end, people always stop talking. It’s just easier to be friends with the people close by."

I frown but don’t respond. What am I supposed to say to that? Yes it’s been hard, but I put in a real effort to make sure I was telling Nadine about everything that was going on in Fairview, while also making sure to ask her what was new in Richmond. What she would tell me didn’t sound like anything was ever new. So what else had changed?

"Anyway, you’re here now. I didn’t think I’d get to see you again this soon after moving... You’ll get to meet some people I’ve met at school tomorrow." I quickly change the subject, not wanting to dwell on whatever it is she thinks is going on here. All things considered, we’re doing fine. The idea that when people move away they always lose touch has always been at the back of my mind but talking to people who don’t live near you is easier now. Some of my closest friends are people I only talk to on the Internet, so why shouldn’t I be able to stay close with Nadine?

"Out." Rhiannon marches into the room, glaring at me.

"We were here first. You can stay, but I’m not leaving," I answer, hoping she’ll choose not to stay at all.

"Marybeth and I are sleeping up here and I want to go to bed, so you guys need to leave."

"We’re all sleeping upstairs in the attic," I point out, getting defensive.

"Not me. They’re all going to stay up late talking, I will end up getting frustrated and leaving after an hour or two anyway. So, we’re sleeping here. In beds. Including your bed," she adds, as if that point wasn’t obvious.

"Whatever." Part of me wants to argue, but I’ll only make things awkward. If this is how Rhiannon is going to be tonight, I don’t want her included in the upstairs sleepover anyway. She always has make things so difficult. If nothing else, tomorrow morning everyone but Rhiannon will sleep in late, so this will be the first time since we moved in that my sister waking up early isn’t going to be my problem.

As usual, Marybeth has nothing to add and goes along with whatever Rhiannon says, which is something she’s done ever since they were kids. There was a while there where we all referred to Marybeth just as Rhiannon’s shadow. It must be nice for her to have her sidekick back.

Eventually, everyone but Rhiannon and Marybeth end up in the attic. We only have one couch, so everyone has agreed to sleep on blankets and sleeping bags on the floor. We are all kind of bunched together in small groups, but everyone is close enough to chat with whoever.

My eyes are struggling to stay open as I hope that Reece’s friends will stop talking and go to sleep sometime soon, but I must have dozed off at one point because I awake to Nadine poking me from her own sleeping bag.

"I can’t sleep," she says in a whisper.

I want to point out that I was already asleep, so it’s clearly possible, but I doubt that’s what she wants to hear. "Okay…"

Nadine shifts around as though making a point. "I didn’t realize we’d be sleeping on the floor."

"Okay." Is still all I can think to say. She knew we were having five extra people sleep over. Where did she think we would sleep? Marybeth is probably still fast asleep in my bed, so it’s not like that’s an option. "You can sleep on the couch. Everyone else is already asleep." That’s assuming we haven’t woken them up with the stupid conversation. "They won’t mind."

"Can’t we sleep in Reece and Reilly’s room? There are two perfectly good beds in there."

I’m tempted to groan but keep my mouth shut. She came all this way to see me, so I don’t want to piss her off. If she knew where she wanted sleep, why didn’t she point this out hours ago? There is still such a big part of me that just wants to tell her to be quiet and go back to sleep. Still, it’s the least I can do to try to make her comfortable. It’s only for two nights.

Trying to get my eyes to readjust to sitting in the dark, I rub them and sit up. Neither of us bothers gathering up our sleeping bags before we make our way back downstairs as silently as possible.

Within seconds of getting to the bedroom, I crawl in to Reece’s bed and pull her blanket up over my chin. I feel a little bad for bailing on the slumber party, but this is way more comfortable than the floor of the attic. I look over at Nadine and find her still sitting up on the edge of Reilly’s bed. All I want to do is sleep, but she’s looking around and there’s no denying she has something on her mind.

Today was perfect. Why can’t whatever this is be something that can wait until morning?

I'm about to give in and ask what's on her mind, but Nadine finally lays down. I figure this is my chance to get back to sleep, but it's less than ten seconds before she starts talking.

"Your life here seems great," she says, no longer bothering to whisper. "I love this house. And the town doesn't seem to be as bad as we thought it was."

"It's okay," I concede. "You know I'd rather be back home with you and everyone, right?"

"Yeah," she says but there's a note of disappointment in her voice. Suddenly, I’m wide awake. There's more going on here than I realized, I still have no clue what she’s trying to say. Was this the reason Nadine didn't want to sleep in the attic? It had nothing to do with how uncomfortable the floor was and everything to do with wanting a chance to talk to me where we couldn't be overheard.

I'm trying to figure out what she could have done that she feels so uncomfortable telling me about, when she speaks again. "Elise and I both miss you a lot. Everything from going to classes, to hanging out after school is so different because you're not there. But other stuff has been changing to."

Part of me wants to say something just to get her to stop talking and hold off whatever is coming, but I can't figure out what to say, so I keep quiet and hope I'm overreacting. There is now an unspoken we need to talk hanging in the air.

"Laney is my best friend now. Or, we are best friends now, I guess." Wait, what? "It's just that I needed to have someone around once you weren't there anymore, and she's being really cool. You know how it is."

I really don’t. I can barely figure out what it was she just told me.

Nadine has a new best friend now.

After all these years… I’m not Nadine's best friend anymore.

I moved away, and she’s found someone new. The pit in my stomach grows to the size of a black hole. I don’t know what to think or do, but Nadine seems to be waiting for me to say something. The silence is becoming suffocating.

I don’t want her to see how much she hurt me-- is hurting me. It’s now all too clear, she doesn’t care all that much about my feelings. I've been replaced in a matter of months by some girl Nadine had only met two weeks before I moved. Laney had been the new girl in the neighborhood, one of many. For some reason, even before I'd gone away, Nadine made a point of hanging out with her. Like she was trying to replace me before I left. I saw it happening then, I tried not to think about it since.

Was this inevitable? Or could I have changed things if I’d just seen this coming?

I’m not Nadine’s best friend. She found someone she likes better.

What I want to do is tell Nadine that it feels like I've just been dumped, but that's what I would say to my best friend—someone who I could rely on to have my back when it feels like the world is against me. Instead, I try and hide how much this hurts. "I guess we knew this would happen," I say. I consider telling her I had a new best friend too, but as much as I need to bury the sting of this, I also don't want her to be able to justify away what she's doing right now. After all, I don’t have someone new. Nothing even close. I met new people, but I've always thought of her as my best friend.

Is she still my best friend if I'm not hers? It's not like there's anyone else I'd list instead.

I try so hard to keep my tears at bay. At this point, crying is only going to make things uncomfortable. Or maybe that's exactly what I should do. Maybe if she sees how upset I am she'll change her mind, but as soon as the thought crosses my mind, I know that it's a bad idea. It's an impossible idea.

We both wait almost indefinitely for the other person to say something else. No one speaks. Eventually Nadine turns over in bed, pointing herself away from me. She’s making it clear that there's nothing I can say that will change this.

Nadine has a new best friend.

I wipe my damp cheeks on Reese's pillow and try to sleep. Instead, I spend at least an hour replaying the conversation we just had and trying to figure out what the hell happened.