We go to the hair salon on Sunday morning—and by we, I mean all the women in my family who aren’t Reece. I’m all set to achieve my year-long dream of adding just a little of pink to my hair. By the time I’m in the stylist’s chair, I’ve chickened out. Why would I want that kind of extra attention? I do end up getting several inches taken off my hair and adding in layers. So that’s something.

At least I still feel like myself.

* * *

Like me, Reilly mostly looks like she did when we left school on Friday. All she did was take a few extra inches off the bottom of her hair, so little you wouldn't consider it more than a trim. She added in a few layers around her face but not much. Her hair color, like mine, is exactly what it was before.

It's Rhiannon who gets the award for most dramatic difference. Her hair has gone from long to sitting at her shoulders. What once was the signature Donovan brown color is now a deep shade of red. I'm surprised at how well the color suits her. Suits us. She looks like a new person, older. She's even changed up her makeup today, shifting the products she used just a little so they better suit her new style. It's working for her.

By Monday everything feels different. Not the freaking out over the Kent thing. That’s still the same. If anything I’ve talked myself even further down from pursuing this at all. But beyond that, a new hairstyle can change everything, even when it’s not your hair that’s different.

What I'm not ready for is all the refreshed staring from kids we go to school with. When we turn up, we’re obviously looking a little less identical than we did before.

Standing outside the front doors of the school, Rhiannon is the Donovan sister that's attracting the most attention. Though as people go to approach her and complimented the new hair, it's obvious that she doesn't know what to do with it.

Reece gets a few of compliments on her changeup too, but doesn’t seem like she’s enjoying it as much as I thought she would. It’s hard not to wonder if maybe the three of us accidentally stole a little of the thunder she was trying to create for herself with this makeover.

After the big shakeup on Friday night, I never did get up the nerve to confess to Reece all the signs about Kent I had noticed last week. I'm still on my own. When I turn up in the cafeteria for lunch, I'm starting to feel like I can handle this. I can't remember the last time I felt this confident about how I look at school. Having the new hairstyle, I made sure I put in a little extra effort today on all fronts, and I think it's paying off. I could be imagining it, but I'm pretty sure Kent is looking at me even more often than he was last week.

"I'm loving your haircut, by the way." Rosie snaps a cookie in her mouth while giving me a nod of approval.

"Thanks. I didn’t do much but am feeling a little weird about the change. Well, not my haircut. It's not a big deal. It’s that my sisters changed their hair at the same time. It's freaking me out a bit."

Honestly, I'm not sure why I admitted that to this particular table. If anything, it was the kind of thing I would usually tell Nadine. I had mentioned it to her, sort of in passing. Her response had been brief, and I didn't want to continue to obsess about my sisters’ hair to her because I know it’s something she would find kind of stupid.

I should probably stop obsessing about it at all.

"Not something you guys have done before?" Jen guesses.

"Nope. Totally new. Pretty sure this is the most dramatic thing we could have done to make ourselves look different from one another. It's great on some levels, and just strange on others."

"A couple of you could have gotten fat, if you wanted to go for something different." Frank looks up from his book, raising his eyebrows. When nobody answers, he goes back to reading.

"We'll call that Plan B," Rosie says with a laugh.

"Well, I like it." Kent says, looking at me again.

"Really?" I'm grinning before I can stop myself. Now I’m glad I didn’t do anything else with my hair. This is perfect. "You don't think it's too short?" Not only did Kent actually compliment me a few seconds ago, but I'm already fishing for more. I don't know what's come over me, but I'm waiting, heart racing to see what he says next.

"No. It's great. It suits, err, your face." Kent glances away, staring across the room like something endlessly fascinating is happening over by where the food is being served.

I smiled at him for another second before my eyes wander. I notice Rosie watching me all over again.

"What?" I ask her and immediately regret it. If she's caught the way I'm looking at Kent, then the last thing I want is for her to call it out in front of everyone else. In front of Kent. I may be acting a little braver, and there may be a lot of signs pointing toward Kent being interested, but it's not something I'm willing to put to a public test now or ever.

"Nothing." All of my newfound bravado retreats back inside me. It’s like Rosie notices that moment too. Her eyebrows shoot up a second after I slump back into my chair. Rosie's eyes move to Kent, and I do my best to act normal. "Actually, I was wondering if any of you guys wanted to see a movie with me this weekend. I'm up for whatever, I just need to get out of the house."

I'm nodding yes before I can think about it. This is the first time these guys have asked me to hang out with them after school since Halloween. I don't care if Rosie just wants to see a stupid action movie, or one of those comedies that I never really find funny, I'm in either way.

We spend the rest of lunch making plans, Rosie taking the lead. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more going on here. Something I can’t quite figure out.

Before I say much of anything, the details are set. The five of us will be going to a movie on Friday night. No one seems to have any real idea about which one we should see, but that doesn’t seem to be the point.

By drama class, Friday is all I can think about. I’m not sure if I’m more excited about the idea of finally getting out of my house on a weekend, or if I’m just loving the idea of sitting in a darkened theatre with Kent for two hours, pretending like it’s not him I’m paying attention to. I’m already imagining ways I can maneuver things so that we’ll be sitting together for the movie.

"All right, team." Mr. Sullen stands up from his desk with an exaggerated stretch, waiting until everyone in the room has stopped talking before he starts his lesson. "The time has come. We still have smaller assignments to tackle this semester. From here on out, most of our focus will be going into our final performance of the year. I’m sure all of you have been diligently reading the Alice in Wonderland script I assigned you two months ago and are more than ready to face this challenge head on."

I look around the class and see everyone looked about as guilty as I feel. Note to self, read that script tonight. Due to the size of the class, Mr. Sullen breaks us up into three groups by drawing names from a top hat. I end up in the same chunk of the class as Frank, with Jen and Kent split up in the others. The last three days of the semester will be dedicated to our final performances, and while Mr. Sullen assures us it won’t be as big a production as the school play he helps put on in the spring, he expects us to dedicate our time and energy to this.

While the eight or so of us in my group sits on one side of the classroom, hemming and hawing over different ideas and trying to figure out who will take on which areas of the production, it’s hard not to notice that Jen has already taken control of her group, already issuing orders.

Leah, a black-haired girl that’s also in my first period class, tries to do the same for our group, but she isn’t nearly as effective. Instead of deciding anything at all, we opt to take the night to brainstorm so we can all come back to this tomorrow, hopefully with better results.

* * *

We’re walking home from school later that day, when Rhiannon chimes in with a question. "Are you guys still getting many questions about the Fairview Four thing?"

I take a few quick steps so I’m caught up to her. "What do you mean?"

"Until today, I’d thought people had mostly gotten over it. But now they’re all are suddenly asking me the most random stuff. I’m wondering if you’ve all been getting this crap the whole time?"

Reece turns around so she’s walking backward and facing us. "People are still interested, yeah. But it’s died down from the first couple weeks of school."

"I haven’t been getting any questions at all, but that probably has a lot to do with me avoiding people. Not with them or the things they are curious about," I add.

"Or, it has everything to do with that note on the first day of school."

"Shut up." I stick out my tongue out at Reece, glad that at least no one else had brought that up in a while.

Once people realize that Rhiannon isn't super interested in engaging, I suspect that the newfound interest in her might fade a little. I hope that somehow this could be the open door she needed to start getting to know people a little better. Except… how many times do I need to hope for that before it actually happens? "Guess what I'm doing on Friday?" I say, changing the subject.

I don’t bother waiting for anyone to respond before I continue. "I'm going to the movies with a couple of people from drama class. Rosie and Jen are going too."

My sisters mostly mumble something about that being cool, but Reece gives me a knowing look. I give her a small nod in return. Yep, Kent will be there. I'm well aware that this might be my opportunity. I might find out for sure if he likes me or not. During a big hangout with friends isn't the most straightforward way of going about things, but if it works, it works. I make a note to myself to pester Reece for ideas later in the week when we won't have an audience. If this goes badly, and I somehow embarrass myself or have been reading way too much into all of it, the less people know about my secret humiliation, the better.

When we get back home, Rhiannon and I both end up in our bedroom. My homework tonight is thankfully minimal, and I was kind of hoping to get in and nap before dinner. Rhiannon has other ideas. She's searching through her drawers and the bookcase beside her window.

"What's wrong?" I ask, a little annoyed.

"The same stuff that's always wrong, Reagan. You may have gotten used to this stupid little town, but I haven’t."

I sit up, eyes still heavy with the need to sleep. "Where's this coming from? What are you even looking for?" On the way home, she didn’t seem annoyed exactly, but once again, her mood has turned on a dime.

I wonder, not for the first time in the last few months, if she's still talking to Derrick. Are they still together? I know she would never tell us, one way or the other. She still doesn’t seem a hundred percent herself, no matter how many of her old friends come to visit or how many new haircuts she gets or even how much time passes, she's still unhappy. Today seems to be one of those days where her feelings are seeping through the cracks.

"Did something happen today? You seem extra pissed all of a sudden."

Rhiannon then leaves the room without saying anything else, slamming the door unnecessarily behind her. I'm still sitting on my bed slightly stunned, when Riley pops into the bathroom. "What was that?"

"Rhiannon. Obviously."

"Should I go talk to her?" Reilly looks over at the door, I can tell she's being pulled toward Rhiannon, just a little.

I shake my head. "No point. I'm sure she needs to work things out for herself."

"That's been our strategy for a while now, it's still not getting us anywhere. Rhiannon has never been one for big mood swings in any direction, but I swear, I've seen her smile no more than five times since she got here. This is a long time to hold a grudge, even for her."

"Leave her alone!" Reece calls from the other room. I so wish I had some space to myself. Instead, I wriggle down into my bed and put my blanket up over my eyes so Reilly will take the hint. I don't hear her leave, but when I peek back up over the blanket, she's gone.

Now with the bathroom door closed again and Rhiannon gone, the space feels emptier than it should.

Even though I do my best to ignore it most of the time, there's always a part of me that is hyperaware that of the four Donovan sisters, I’m technically the oldest sister. It was luck of the draw I was plucked out of our mom's uterus first, but there's no denying birth order. In a lot of ways, it's always felt like Rhiannon should've been the first born instead of the last. She's always been more of an adult than I will ever be. Especially if being an adult means having to give up video games and comic books.

I promise myself, two more weeks. Rhiannon can have two more weeks of sulking, moping and mood swings. After that, I'm going to have to talk to her. Even though I'm not even sure what I'd say or how to bring it up, if she's been this upset for this long, it's my job as part of her family to make it better. Right? Even if that means having to go to our parents, something I'm sure she wouldn't thank me for.

Two more weeks brings us right up to Christmas vacation, the extended break could be exactly what she needs to start acting like herself again. There's already been a bit of discussion about some of us going back to Richmond for the week between Christmas and New Year's, but nothing is set in stone yet and Mom is pushing against the idea.

Once we have our plans figured out, Rhiannon might come around on her own.

If not, then I’m going to need to figure out how to pull off a Donovan sister intervention.