By the end of second period the next day, I’ve freaked myself out at the mere thought of seeing Kent again.

So far, all my teachers are interpreting the end of Thanksgiving break as an excuse to move full throttle into preparing for exams. I can barely focus on the influx of new assignments, all I’m thinking about is Kent. At least half of my brain has been on the lookout for him at all times, since arriving at school this morning. So far, nothing. His absence should have given me more time to figure out a plan, but I’m more confused than ever.

Right before the last bell, I got a text from Rosie saying that the plan for lunch today is to meet in the cafeteria, eat fast then go to the library. She and Jen need to study for a test tomorrow, meaning we’ll be on our own in terms of entertainment. I’m probably going to have to figure out something to say to Kent. Before today, that had never seemed like a particularly daunting task, now it seems like the hardest thing in the universe. Frank will be there to act as a non-studying buffer, but odds are that right after we get to the library he will open a book and we won’t hear from him again until it’s time to head to class. Something I’m kind of wishing I could attempt too.

With this whole Kent situation on my mind, it took less than an hour to imagine five different ways I can screw this all up in a matter of minutes. Despite these thoughts, a big part of me wants to see how this plays out. Reece will expect some sort of report after school, I want to have something to tell her. I want to know is if maybe she’s right. Could he like me too? The fact that I’m even considering it as a possibility seems insane, but I so desperately want her to have this all figured out since I definitely don’t.

Why does this all have to be so difficult?

I’m the first one to arrive in the cafeteria, so I sit myself down in my usual spot and make a point of looking busy, which is not so hard to do since I never finished my math homework last night. I start in on the massive pile of problems I’m supposed to have finished already, trying to work through them when my brain struggles to remember what we’re studying in class. If only Rhiannon didn’t get so annoyed every time I asked her to share her own homework with me.

"Hey," Rosie’s voice interrupts me. I look up as she and Kent sit down at the table beside me. Soon after, Jen and Frank arrive as well, already in the middle of a conversation about some old movie. Everyone else keeps quiet as their conversation turns into a heated debate, causing us to do our best to stay out of the crossfire.

After a minute, I risk a sidelong glance at Kent, glad to have Rosie as a buffer between us. I’m not sure I’m ready to face him head-on yet, so time and space are good right now.

Reece was right. All the lists I found online were completely useless. Sure there are dozens of signs I could watch for, but any one of them could be interpreted a million different ways. My best bet will be waiting to see what Kent does, and if I can read anything into it. I’ll probably end up just reporting back to Reece and letting her sort it all out.

"Fine!" Jen says, placing her hands down on the table. "You win. I will watch the original Buffy movie and tell you what I think, but I think this is all a huge waste of time." Frank looks triumphant, but he doesn’t get a chance to respond before Jen continues. "Which brings us back to the real world. New presentation assignment today in drama. The last one before we start in on Alice in Wonderland as a class. Groups of three."

Crap! I should have had the syllabus memorized weeks ago so I’d be able to brace myself when these things are coming. Not only will I have to perform in front of the class again, but there will be only two other people up there with me to share the spotlight. Since there are four of us in class together, it means I will be doing this with people I barely know.

I’ve been lucky that Jen has taken pity on me every time we needed to work with other people during class. It’s always worked out so that me and the three of them either formed our own group, or became part of a bigger one. This time, I’m not so lucky. Groups of three means someone is getting left out, and it’s going to be me.

No one says anything at first, so I prepare to volunteer as tribute before anyone has to tell me I’m out of luck.

"Okay, so two and two," Frank says.

But before I can wrap my head around the fact that the world isn’t ending after all, Kent chimes in. "Me and Reagan, you and Jen." My heart stops. "Makes sense to mix up the genders so we have the most versatile groups possible." he quickly adds, before shooting me a glance.

I still don’t say anything. Kent wants to be in a group with me. He could ditch me altogether and work with both Jen and Frank, but he wants to work with me!

Is this one of those signs I’m supposed be looking for? Or is this just Kent continuing to be insanely nice? Like everything else, there are too many ways I can interpret this. No matter what it is, I’m screaming inside.

Jen and Frank agree like it’s the most natural thing in the world, they then dig into their food as if they don’t notice what just happened.

Kent picked me. Me!

Maybe they aren’t acting like it’s a big deal because it really isn’t. I pop a carrot stick into my mouth and chew slowly, trying to buy myself more time to pull myself together. I shift to look over at Kent but find Rosie staring right at me and looking at me, much in the same way that Reece did last night.

Why is everyone treating me like some social anomaly fit for study?

I give her a questioning look back and make myself focus on food instead of Kent. Later, I’ll replay all of this for Reece and hopefully she’ll be able to help me sort it out.

I mean, it’s possible that this doesn’t mean anything at all. Maybe this along with the apology yesterday, as well as everything else since we moved here, has just been Kent being Kent. He’s a nice guy. I have to think there are guys out there who are nice even to girls they aren’t interested in dating.

No, I won’t say anything to Reece yet. This is a good sign, but it isn’t definitive. I can’t let her talk me into believing otherwise, not without real proof. All I can do is wait and see, keeping note of everything else for the next few days. I won’t write this off, but I won’t start imagining me and Kent going on our first date together either.

That’s a lie. I definitely will.

* * *

The next few days pass almost normally. Except that I’m hyper aware of Kent and everything he does. Every time he says hello to me in the hall or at lunch, I note his expression and tone before stumbling a greeting back. When he grabs my bag for me after drama, I can’t help but wonder if he’s doing it as a way to get my attention. As an afterthought, I remember to thank him. I’m pretty sure that trying to pay more attention to what Kent’s doing is making me act like an idiot around him. If he did somehow like me before all of this, there’s a great chance he’s not going to by the time he actually gets to know me.

The thing is, I’m starting to suspect that possibly, there is the slightest chance that he does actually like me. Or is it just wishful thinking?

The way he acts around me isn’t quite like how he is with Jen and Rosie. I catch him looking at me in the same moments when I’m already trying to subtly look at him. While it’s harder to tell with his darker complexion, I’m pretty sure he’s blushing nearly as often as I am.

Is this really my life? Did I moved to a new town, promptly make an ass of myself, and then somehow still manage to come out at the other end with the new group of friends, with the guy I have a crush on liking me back?

Maybe. Maybe not.

I’m probably overthinking this.

By Friday, I’ve given into the reality that I will need a second opinion. It’s time to bust out the big guns and ask Reece what she thinks. Will she tell me what I’m supposed to do next? Or am I just going to need her to talk me down and convince me that all of what I’ve been seeing is in my head? By the time we get home from school, I’m ready for either possibility.

When I try to take my first chance to get Reece alone, she practically sprints for her bedroom and shuts the door. I try to use my own room to come at her from another angle, but I find the door locked. When I circle back to the hallway, the door to her bedroom won’t open either.

Reilly comes up behind me. "Reece said she needed the room to herself for like an hour after school." She shrugs, heading up for the attic with her backpack still on. Typical Reilly. I’m guessing she’s planning to get a jumpstart on her homework tonight, so she doesn’t have to think about it for the rest of the weekend. Odds are, Rhiannon is already up there.

Everyone is doing something, leaving me to my usual routine of City of Ages. Playing for a bit couldn’t hurt, right?

As I make my way upstairs to the attic, I try to figure out what I’m going to say to Reece the second she gets out of the bedroom. I have no clue what she could be up to in there, part of me suspects I don’t want to know. Either way, she couldn’t have picked a worse moment.

Before going to my computer, I make sure to leave the attic door open, so I can hear when Reece makes her reappearance. As I suspected, both of my sisters are already hunched over their desk and working. If I were smart I’d do the same, but taking on a quest or a boss in the game might be the only thing that can distract me right now.

I log in to find Nadine already in game, and I almost log off immediately.

All week, I’ve been avoiding thinking about Nadine. She hasn’t exactly reached out either, leaving me to wonder if this wasn’t just a best friend break up, but her telling me she didn’t want me in her life at all. I mean, she’s the one who did this, so she should be the one to make it less weird.

But, I’m also not going to let her scare me away from my favorite game.

A minute later, she messages me a simple hello, I mentally exhale. She’s not trying to avoid me completely, but that also means I have to deal with this now.

Kinsey: Hey, I didn’t think you’d be online.

Niddles22: Sorry about the disappearing act. Just had a busy week.

Just like that, we decide to take on one of our favorite daily quest lines together, teaming up to help the Allied army storm the castle on Mount Flaimver. We both throw ourselves into it, staying as a group of two while we work with others to take on the horde of trolls. While I’m sure we’re both thinking about it, neither one of us brings up the last weekend or any of the things that happened. I almost feel bad for not reaching out sooner. Almost.

Just when it seems like things could be normal again, I stick my foot in my mouth, asking her what she’s getting up to for the weekend.

Niddles22: Laney’s mom is taking us to this craft show in the suburbs. She has a table there, she’s selling a bunch of crochet stuff. We’re going to help out for the morning, she’ll pay us a little money. Which we’ll probably use pretty much right away to buy jewelry at the fair. Laney has all this great stuff from going last year, there’s already a bunch of things I want to get.

Right, Laney. Nadine’s new best friend. Of course, Laney’s mom has a cool job and will pay Nadine to help out. I’m not even surprised that she has this awesome style and great jewelry that Nadine wants too. She probably even likes Laney’s mom more than she likes me.

All the bitterness I’ve been trying to push back over the last week comes right back up, but the game keeps moving. I’m forced to push back the response I’m already trying to craft in my head, somehow getting in a subtle dig. It’s just enough time for me to take a breath and decide not to be an idiot after all, because if I say something harsh now, there’s not going to be any coming back from it later. This is the first time I’ve hung out with my oldest friend in a week, simply because things have been so weird. If I make it weirder, then there will be no one to blame but myself. Well, I’m sure I could still blame her a little.

I can’t help but pretend that I have more interesting weekend plans than I actually do, claiming I’m going out with Rosie and Jen to do some shopping for Christmas presents. Hopefully she won’t ask me about it again later.

The quest eventually ends, and our side is victorious. Just as a message from Nadine pops up on screen, asking me if I want to go again. I hear a door shut down stairs. I type a message quickly.

Kinsey: BRB, first. Have to go check something.

I should log off completely, but I’m already busy going back over all the things to ask Reece as I charge down the stairs. She’s not in the hallway, but the door to her bedroom is now wide open. I peek my head inside. Still no Reece.

I find her in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. She can’t be looking at herself half as hard as I am, because something is very, very different. It takes my brain a second to catch up, to figure out what part of this picture doesn’t belong.

Reece turns and looks at me, and for the first time I don’t see someone who looks like a near identical variation of me. Still mostly identical… The face is all the same, but Reece’s hair is blond. Gone is the light brown color that looks just like mine, Rhiannon’s and Reilly’s.

Her hair is blond. How is that possible?

My gaze finds the box of product still sitting on the counter and I piece together what she’s done.

"Do you like it?"

"Uhh…" I’ve forgotten how to form words.

"I thought a lot about what you said to me the other day and realized I needed to make a change. This is a new town, so why not throw a new Reece into the mix? Please tell me it isn’t awful."

"Mom and Dad are going to kill you." It’s not the compliment she was looking for, but it’s all I can come up with. Whether or not it looks good is way beyond what I am capable of in this particular moment.

Reece frowns but then squares her shoulders. "You’re right. The first thing is going to be dealing with them. Do you think I should just come out and tell them, or do I wait for them to notice on their own?"

"Well, they’re going to notice the second they see you. You can’t exactly hide this."

"Okay, I’ll face this head on. This is happening. No going back." She claps her hands together like she’s breaking up a huddle. The slightest quiver in her voice is the only thing to betray that she’s not quite as confident as she’s acting.

With that, Reece sidesteps around me and makes her way toward the stairs heading to the first floor. I sprint up the stairwell in the other direction. First things first, I tell Nadine that I need to log out for a few minutes.

Kinsey: Gotta go. Donovan apocalypse is incoming.

I shutdown my computer and turn to my sisters. "You guys are going to want to give the homework a break. There’s about to be a showdown of epic proportions." I don’t bother explaining to them what Reece has done, because I don’t want to miss whatever’s coming next. My parents gave up on trying to get us to dress similarly years ago, but they’ve never once budged on our dying our hair until we got older. Sure, it would have given us a quick and easy way to differentiate ourselves, but they didn’t care.

A second later, I hear the sound of both Reilly and Rhiannon following after me.