CHAPTER 12
Noelle
I shouldn’t have dropped the L word. Now I was convinced that it was what had caused the change in Tank’s mind about me.
I stood by the window of my apartment for a few more minutes, watching the empty space that Tank and his bike had left behind. Surprisingly, even though he had just dumped me, he had waited there till I was inside my apartment before he rode off.
I jerked away from the window, rushing to my couch so I could crash into it. I didn’t care how ruined my dress was, or the fact that I needed to shower and change and leave for my shift at the hospital. All I cared about was how stupid I had been.
I had used the L word too soon. Even though I hadn’t exactly declared my love for him, I had asked him to make love to me. I should have known, that a request like that would have a man like him, running in the opposite direction. I barely knew him. We were sleeping together. Our time together was supposed to be fun and casual, and I had dropped a bomb on him in the middle of that.
Of course, he thought I wasn’t the right kind of woman for him. No matter how sweet and polite he was with me, it was foolish of me to assume that Tank wanted to keep me safe, that he wanted to take care of me.
I screamed into the cushion on my couch, muffling my voice with it. I should have followed the things my parents had taught me, I should have followed my mind…instead, I had followed my heart.
Everything about Tank had signaled that he was going to be the wrong man for me, that he was good at breaking hearts. I should have known that he wanted nothing more from me than my body and when he had that, he was just going to leave me.
The previous night had been magical, and I was foolish enough to believe in that sort of magic. At the restaurant and then at his apartment after we had sex, we had talked. Even though Tank had needed some coaxing and cajoling, he had finally opened up.
Underneath that tough masculine biker exterior, I had discovered a man who had simple needs, and a good heart. That was the impression I had got, and it had made me fall for him harder. To me, as hot as Tank was, he was more than just a hunk of meat. He was a man I was capable of falling in love with, someone I could immediately see returning home to, to waking up beside every morning.
And we’d had that, even if it was only for a few hours…I had experienced waking up in his hours and making love.
That thought reminded me again of what I had said.
Tank, will you make love to me?
I screeched into the cushion again, embarrassed and angry about what I had said. How could I have expected Tank to understand? Why did I think that he was feeling the same way about me, as I was about him? I had no doubts that Tank was well experienced with women. Hell, I knew for certain that no hot blooded woman would be able to resist fantasizing about him if they laid eyes on him. He exuded sex and masculinity and being good in bed. His silence added to his strength and charm, and I knew he could have any woman he wanted.
So, why had I been foolish enough to assume that he had wanted me? That he had wanted me for anything more than as a sex toy for one night? And then I had said something as stupid as using the word “love,” with a guy I barely knew.
I jumped off the couch and rushed into my bedroom, where I stripped myself of all my clothes. They smelt of Tank, and I felt my heart weaken as I was surrounded by the smell of Tank and the feel of his hands on my bare skin.
I could feel my pussy quiver from the memory of the way he had laid on top of me, thrusting his cock inside me. The way he was capable of making me come quicker than I had ever imagined possible.
I could feel hot tears pricking the backs of my eyelids as I rushed into the shower.
I stood under the piping hot water, hoping that it would wash away any trace of Tank off my body, but I could still feel him. I could still hear his voice ringing in my ears.
You are not the right woman for me.
He had said that so confidently, unbothered by how those words would affect me. I had been so foolish to expect him to be any different. He had fit the stereotype of the bad boy very well. The kind of guy my mother had always warned me about. There was no point in relying on like a man like him because he would only break your heart.
I patted myself dry with a fresh towel when I stepped out of the shower, and I tried to remind myself that this had been for the best.
Better sooner than later, right? At least now, I wouldn’t have that many broken pieces to pick up, instead of later, when I had fallen completely and madly in love with him, and then a breakup like this would have the potential of ruining my life entirely.
Instead, now, I could try just patting myself dry and moving on. My only hope was that I could get busy with work, and hopefully in a few days, maybe a few weeks, I could forget that I had even met a guy called Aiden Gowan who belonged to a motorcycle club. Or that he had mended and broken my heart in the span of five days.