Chapter 24
Ensley
It didn’t feel like I had been sleeping when I woke up. I wasn’t feeling rested or refreshed, instead, there was a dull aching throb at the back of my head where I’d hit it against the edge of my bed.
I blinked my eyes open, but I couldn’t see anything. There was darkness all around me, and I couldn’t figure out if I were standing up or sitting or lying down. I tried to move my hands up to my face, and that was when I realized that my hands were tied. I let out a cry, but it was muffled by a gag. Panic coursed through my body. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks and I struggled to get my hands lose again.
Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room I was in. My senses were coming alive, and I could hear the ticking of a clock on the wall. There were no lights in the room, but a dim streetlight was filtering in through the curtains on a window at the other end of the room.
I tried to scream, in the hopes that maybe that window was open and maybe someone would be able to hear me outside.
I realized that I was in a cheap motel room. I was sitting on a chair with my hands tied behind me with a thick chord. There was an ugly bedspread on the double bed beside me, and now as my eyes adjusted in the dark; I could see the wallpaper peeling and the dampness on the ceiling above me. There was a raw musty smell in the room too, of damp unwashed clothes and used socks, mingled with the oily stench of days-old takeout. Ryan had brought me to the motel room he’d been living in, in LA.
The thought of him made my body shudder and I pulled against the chords again, which I could feel were chaffing the skin on my wrists. My throat was raw and dry too, as I continued trying to scream through the rag in my mouth. I wanted desperately for Thorn to find me. I wanted to see his face, to be in his arms.
The door creaked opened, and I stopped screaming. Ryan was stepping into the room, and he shut the door behind him and locked it.
“Hello, Ensley. You’re awake,” he said, and even in the darkness, I could see his small beady eyes glowing. He was taking small slow steps towards me, and I tried to slide the chair back, as far away from him as I could go. But there was no escape from him. I couldn’t even get out of the chair, let alone get out of the room.
Ryan came to a stop at the edge of the bed. He was glaring at me from under his heavy eyelids menacingly. He bent forward to switch the bedside lamp on, and a dim orange glow spread around the room. Now I could see him clearly, and every cell in my body screamed. I screamed too, even though my voice was muffled, I couldn’t stop screaming.
Ryan started walking towards me again, and I felt like I was beginning to lose my breath.
“You look like you want to say something, sweetness,” he said, coming to a halt right in front of me. I looked up at him with bloodshot bleary eyes. He had a sadistic grin on his face, he was pleased with himself for what he had achieved. I roared again, but slowly, I was beginning to lose my voice. I was thirsty and exhausted and starting to feel weak.
“Do you see this?” he asked, continuing in his cheery voice. I watched in horror as he pulled a knife out of his back pocket and held it up. The orange glow of the lamp caught the glint of the metal blade, and I felt more tears roll down my cheeks. Ryan leaned towards me, close enough to my face so I could smell his rancid breath.
“If you scream, or make a sound, this knife is going to feel a whole lot closer to your body. You get me?” he said, and I had no choice but to nod my head. My survival instincts were kicking in.
“Good girl, I’m going to take that rag out of your mouth, but remember; don’t scream. It’s not going to get you anywhere,” he said. Then he yanked the gag out of my mouth, and finally, I felt like I could breathe again. A rush of air entered my lungs, and I coughed loudly, causing the ropes to tug harshly on my wrists. Ryan stepped away from me, so he could carefully look me up and down.
“As ravishing as ever. You’ve taken care of yourself, my love,” he said and slid the knife back into his pocket. My eyes were watery, I felt sweat beading at my hairline, and even though I wanted to scream again, I knew that he had me under his thumb.
I looked up at him with fire in my eyes, but I knew I couldn’t do anything. This was the worst position he could hold me in. I had no escape.
“Please let me go, Ryan. This is insane!” I said, trying to keep my voice down so that I didn’t trigger any more anger in him. Ryan took in a deep breath and shook his head slowly. Like I was a child, and I had done something naughty to disappoint him.
“This is our destiny, Ensley. You and I were always supposed to be together. You shouldn’t have run away from me,” he said, and turning from me, he went and sat down on the edge of the bed, making himself comfortable for what he thought was going to be a long heart-to-heart.
***
“You know how long I’ve been searching for you?” Ryan asked, placing his hands on his knees as he looked at me. I could feel my breath catch in my throat. I couldn’t speak in fear and anger, and I had no interest in replying to him.
“I had no idea where you were,” he added and I glared at him with rage.
“I had a restraining order against you,” I retorted, to which he laughed and then shook his head.
“That was a silly thing to do, wasn’t it, sweetness? It made finding you even harder for me,” he said.
Had he gone absolutely crazy or was he just drunk? I couldn’t figure it out. Ryan had always been somewhat over the top with his obsession, but now it seemed like he had reached the tipping point and fallen over the edge. He had reached a stage where he had become dangerous.
“I didn’t know if you were in New York or where the fuck you had disappeared to,” he added, and I bit my tongue before I could say; that was the point!
I just remained sitting silently on the chair, glaring at him while he spoke.
“Nobody will ever love you or want you, the way I do, Ensley. I know everything about you, every broken bit and I still love you,” he said, and now I couldn’t bite back any longer.
“That is not true!” I yelled and then clamped my mouth shut again. I didn’t want him bringing his knife out again.
Ryan’s eyes widened as he stared at me. Then clenching his fists like he was about to punch something, he spoke through gritted teeth.
“You think that biker guy is in love with you? He’s using you for your body, sweetness. When will you get that in your head? Every man who has looked at you has only wanted one thing. Your body and that tight pussy of yours,” he said, and his gaze traveled down my body to the spot between my thighs. I was pressing my legs together, hoping that he wouldn’t force himself on me. He jerked his face up to look into my eyes again.
“But not me. Not me, Ensley. I’ve wanted you because I love you,” he said, and I shook my head, my eyes were wide and rapt with anger.
“And you took away my freedom and my safety. You hit me!” I said, trying to keep my voice down.
Ryan stood up from the bed.
“And you think those biker guys are keeping you safe? You saw how easy it was for me to walk right past them and take you away. You are safe now, sweetness. Here with me,” he said and coming forward to me, he crouched down in front of me.
Thorn had sat like that in front of me too when he’d reached for my hand and comforted me. With Ryan, I didn’t feel an ounce of that same comfort. I hated him with fury. I wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt me!
“I want you to let me go,” I said, my voice was in a hiss, and he reached for my knee. Slowly, he started stroking my legs, and I could feel chills running up and down my spine. If my hands were free, I would have used them to slap him, but now instead, I started pulling against the chords.
“There’s no use struggling, Ensley. You know you’re going to stay here with me, for as long as I want you to,” he said, and a smile started spreading on his face.
“How did you find me? How did you know where I was?” the words burst out of me and he shook his head again like I had said something stupid.
“I saw you on TV, babe. It was simple. You couldn’t keep your whore face away from the limelight, and I couldn’t stay away from you,” he said and started straightening himself up over me.
“If you’d just listened to me in the first place, and stayed away from that precious little career of yours; none of this would have happened. See? I told you I know best,” he said.
I spat at him and then screamed. I couldn’t just keep sitting there and taking his abuse anymore. I screamed until my lungs hurt, and until I felt his hand lash against my cheek.
He had knocked the breath out of me, and my face was jerked to the side. I could feel the sting of his hand on my cheek, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
“You just need to relax, Ensley. We’re going to be here for a while. Settle down, sweetness,” he said and then, he tugged my face back towards him. He was smiling again, even though there were tears pouring down my cheeks. My lips were quivering, my nostrils were flared, and I wanted to find the words I could fling at him that would really hurt him.
Ryan reached his hand out and started stroking my hair, in the same motion that Thorn had done, but this time, I wasn’t comforted. Neither did I feel safe. I wanted to get away from him. I wanted him to stop touching me.
I looked up at him, with tears in my eyes and another scream rising up in my chest. I couldn’t scream again though because I knew the next time, it would be more than just a slap. The next time, he would bring his knife out and make me bleed.
I cowered from him, as he kept stroking my hair.
“Beautiful, sweet Ensley. Doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into, does she?” he murmured to himself, and now I was sure that he had lost his mind. This was not the same man I thought I was in love with five years ago.