Chapter 22
Ensley
I knew I had to distract myself. I couldn’t just be sitting alone in my apartment, thinking about Thorn and what he might have been doing that night. Wondering if he was even thinking about me. Chances were that he wasn’t. He might have even been with another woman, what right did I have on him anyway?
I wanted to scream because every part of my body was aching for him. Ever since I first met him, I wanted him, and he had obliged. He made sure that I was satisfied, that every sexual craving I had for him; was fulfilled. But there was more to give than that, and he withheld it from me.
I remembered the night when we had fallen asleep together. How frightened I had been, till he held me in his arms. He had the capacity of making me feel safe just by being there in the same room as me, but he didn’t know it. He didn’t know how he made me feel and I was too bruised, and too emotionally wrecked to tell him.
What would be the point of telling him anyway? I knew he was the kind of person for whom this could never go beyond the point of what it was right now. I would be a fool for expecting anything more from him.
These thoughts were whirling around in my head, and I knew that if I didn’t find a way to distract myself; then I would go crazy very soon.
The idea came to me, to go through my lines.
Shooting for the next season of the sitcom was coming up in three days, and no matter what the situation was with Ryan-I had to be there for the shoot. My contract, my livelihood, and the production house all depended on it, and I wasn’t about to let them down.
I had done everything I could in this situation. I had hired a group of men who were more than capable of keeping me safe. If Thorn and his MC couldn’t keep me safe from Ryan, I knew that nobody else could. Now, with the men watching over me, I had no excuse to turn up on the set, but I wasn’t prepared for it.
With the busy schedule I’d had for the past few weeks, I barely had time to look at the script.
I sat down on the carpeted floor of my living room now, and I pulled the script out of the box. It was a thin enough script. A few hours of practicing and I’d be up-to-date with my lines.
The more I read through it, the less I was thinking about Thorn, and I was relieved to remember that I had a life outside of this apartment. That Ryan had not been able to take that away from me yet. And Thorn was going to make sure that it remained that way.
I swirled the glass of wine I poured for myself, and re-read the first page again, trying to say it aloud so I could practice my expressions.
There was a knock on the door, and I looked up with a jerk. Thorn! My heart was racing. I knew he would be back! Was he feeling everything that I had been feeling? Was it as hard for him to stay away from me, as it was for me?
I put the glass of wine down beside the script on the carpet, and I walked over to the door. There was a heavy smile on my face, and I didn’t even try and cover it. I was already rehearsing all the things I would tell him when I found him on the other side of the door.
I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I didn’t want to pretend like what was happening between us was just a professional thing. Thorn was way more than just a bodyguard. I wanted him with me, I wanted to be with him, and I couldn’t believe he was here. It was like the Universe kept bringing us together.
I opened the door wide, my face bright with anticipation and excitement. But my smile quickly faded when I saw Ryan instead of Thorn.
He had been standing close to the door, biding his time until I opened it. He was wearing a thick dark hoodie, covering his head and most of his face too, but I would have recognized him anywhere.
In the split-second that it took my mind to register what was going on, he pushed the door further back with his knees, and I stumbled back into the apartment.
“No!” I shrieked, as loud as I could, but he had banged the door shut behind himself.
“No! No! Ryan, you have to leave!” I screeched. My voice was muffled by my hands on my mouth, while he pulled the chained lock on the door and then turned to me.
What happened to the guy from the club that was supposed to be outside my door?
I had moved as far away from him, back into the living room as I could. I could feel my hands going cold. My knees were shaking with fear. I had dreaded this moment when I might see him again. I had nightmares about it. But I had never imagined him just walking into my apartment; me just opening the door to him!
I never opened the door without looking through the peephole. I should have waited to hear Thorn’s voice before I opened the door, but I had been so caught up in my daydreams of being reunited with him; that I had completely fucked this up.
“Were you expecting someone else, Ensley?” Ryan asked, stepping threateningly towards me. I kept backing away from him, my body shuddering with fright. He looked the same, if not a little more muscular. He had that same look of rage in his dark eyes, the same several-day-old stubble on his cheeks. His shoulders were wide, and his neck was short, like a body builder’s.
When I was a teenager, just a nineteen-year-old trying to rebel against my parents; it was exactly this look of his which had drawn me to him. I had mistaken his attitude for masculinity, his possessiveness for love and how tightly he gripped my arm for strength. It was only a few months later, when he had forced me to cut off all contact with the outside world and kept me trapped in our apartment; that I realized how gravely I had misjudged him.
“I thought you’d be happy to see me, sweetness. I’ve come to take you away from all this nonsense. I told you, Ensley, you would never have to work another day in your life if you’re with me,” he hissed.
I didn’t want to stay and hear the rest of what he had to say. Instead, I whipped around from him and ran towards the bedroom. I could feel my socks slipping and sliding over the floor as I ran. Ryan was fast on my heels, and when I tried to shut the bedroom door on his face, he knocked his forehead right into the wood.
I screeched and flew away from the door. He was in my bedroom now, and I could see a bright red bruise on his forehead where he had hurt himself on the door. He didn’t give a shit. He was on a one-track mission, and the mission was to make me his.
I was desperate and scared, and still shrieking, hoping that someone would hear me; I looked around in a panic for my phone. If only I could dial Thorn’s number or send him a text!
I ran towards my phone on the bedside table, but Ryan grabbed me. His hands were all over me now, as he whipped me around. I was struggling in his arms, trying to get away from him, to slip out of his grasp but his hold was iron strong. I remembered that grip. He could have choked me to death with just one hand if he wanted to.
“Give up the fight, sweetness. You know you’re not going anywhere. All I had to do was find you, and I knew that I’d make you mine again,” he hissed, close to my face.
I could feel the sense of helplessness settling in. I was about to give up the fight, just like he wanted me to. Then a sudden surge of panic gripped me, and I writhed and flailed in his arms.
“Ensley! You’re being a very bad girl!” Ryan scolded me, as he struggled to keep his grip on my body.
“Ensley!” I heard his voice one last time before he pushed me against the bed. I felt the edge of the bed strike against the back of my head, and after that, everything went black. It was like I had fallen into a long deep sleep.