Chapter 18

Nox

“It’s nice to meet you Lennox.”

“Please, call me Nox,” I correct, reaching out to shake the friendly doctors hand. “And it’s nice to meet you too, Doctor Marvin. Madden speaks so highly of you.”

“Madden is a good man. He’s worked hard on his recovery.”

I nod in agreement and sit in the chair across from Dr. Marvin’s desk when he gestures toward it.

“I’d love to start by establishing your goals for therapy, if that’s okay?”

I bite down on my bottom lip and nod in agreement.

“I...uh...want to be able to give my boyfriend a blowjob.” I feel the heat creeping into my cheeks as the words escape. I can’t believe I just said that to a total stranger.

To his credit Dr. Marvin just nods and gives me a reassuring smile.

“What’s holding you back?”

“Well, I used to...do stuff like that for money,” I admit as I squirm in the suddenly uncomfortable chair.

“How did you feel about that?”

“That’s such a cliché therapist thing to ask, isn’t it?” I force a laugh to ease some of the tension in my chest.

“I think it’s a valid question.”

I blow out a long breath.

“I felt disposable and sort of dirty. I felt like people could look at me and just tell that I would let men do things to me for money. I felt like I had no pride and no worth.”

Dr. Marvin nods in understanding.

“Do you feel valued by your boyfriend?”

I nod emphatically.

“That’s a good start, then. The key is going to be good communication between the two of you and working on positive self-talk. You need to forgive yourself for what you had to do in the past and know your own worth. Does that make sense?”

I nod again.

“Do you want to tell me about your scars?” He prompts.

 

 

Adam

“Why are you so fidgety today?” Madden asks, eyeing me with curiosity.

“No reason,” I lie.

“It’s because Nox isn’t here,” Royal taunts with a smirk.

I glance over my shoulder to make sure Gage isn’t around.

“Shh,” I scold Royal whose smile widens.

“Wait, what?” Madden’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion. “He’s got an appointment with the therapist I recommended, why is that making you fidgety?”

“Oh yeah, it’s so reassuring to know Nox is sitting down right now with the same guy who made you ghost your boyfriend after one session. I’m feeling so much better now.”

“Wait, what?” Madden asks again.

At this point Royal is nearly giddy at what amounts to me admitting there’s something between Nox and me.

“I fucking knew it,” Royal crows.

“Because your boyfriend can’t keep his mouth shut,” I grumble.

“Which one? And for the record, I prefer both their mouths open and filled with cock.”

“Charming.” I roll my eyes. “You know who I mean. Nash caught me off guard last year asking if I’d ever had a sex dream about a guy. I know he told you that I was really obvious about it.”

Royal laughs, his eyes lighting with amusement.

“He did not tell me that, but I’m going to have to kick his ass now for keeping it from me.”

“Then how’d you guess?”

“Guess what? I’m so lost right now,” Madden complains.

“Adam likes the D.”

I glance toward Gage’s work station again.

“Would you keep it down?” I whisper.

“First, since when? Secondly, why are you so worried about your gay best friend finding out you’re gay?” Madden asks.

“I’m not gay, I’m bi,” I correct. As soon as I say the words it feels like a giant weight has been lifted. Now if only I could work up the balls to tell Gage.

“Oh, that’s cool. But still, why aren’t we telling Gage? And, wait, does this mean you’re the guy Nox has been dating?”

“It’s complicated and yes I’m seeing Nox.”

“But you’re worried he’s going to dump you after seeing a therapist?”

“No,” I snap. “I don’t know. Everything is new between us, what if he decides he needs time to figure his shit out or something?”

“Then you give him time and make sure he knows you’ll be waiting for him when he’s ready,” Madden advises in an uncharacteristically stern tone.

The bell above the door jingles and Nox walks through with an easy smile on his face.

The tight knot that’s been in my chest all morning starts to ease. With one last glance over my shoulder to make sure the coast is still clear, I round the counter and sweep Nox up into a brief kiss.

“Well that’s weird,” Royal comments.

When I pull back from the kiss there’s shock written all over Nox’s face.

“Why is it weird?” I challenge without looking away from Nox.

“Um, because it was all sweet and tender and the only other times I’ve seen you kiss someone was when you were kissing Kira like you were trying to punish her.”

Nox scowl at Royal’s statement.

“I don’t want to kiss anyone but you,” I whisper before brushing one more kiss to his ear and then releasing him.

“Alright, everybody back to work.”

“Yeah, you can’t pull off ‘strict boss’,” Madden says shaking his head and continuing to look between Nox and me. “Want to give me some ink, Nox?”

“Uh, yeah,” Nox agrees with surprise.

“You need practice,” Madden reasons.

 

 

Nox

“So, you and Adam?” Madden asks as soon as we’re alone.

“Um, yeah.” I’m still reeling from the way he kissed me in front of Royal and Madden without warning.

“Did your meeting with Dr. Marvin go well?”

“Yeah, it was hard to talk about some of that stuff but I’m glad I did and I’m definitely going to keep going.”

“Good. It helps to have someone to talk to.”

“What am I inking?” I ask as Madden strips off his shirt and relaxes into the tattoo chair.

“Give me one of those cool mythical creatures you do.”

I don’t even have to think to know what I’m going to give him. I sit down and grab my sketch book out of my messenger bag I’d luckily left in here earlier. I flip to the page with the image I want and set to work getting it set on transfer paper so I can make an outline on his skin to work from.

“A unicorn?” he asks skeptically.

“Trust me it’s going to look awesome. And did you know that early unicorn stories attribute powers to their horns that were supposed to protect against poisoning?” 

Madden’s expression morphs from unsure to intrigued.

“Really?”

“Yup. Unicorns are totally badass.”

“Okay.” He settles back. “I’m still in shock about you and Adam. I never in a million years thought he was into guys,” Madden muses as I set up.

“Yeah, I don’t really believe it myself. I guess I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s so...and I’m all…” I wave my hands at myself in place of a descriptor.

“I have no idea what that’s suppose to mean,” Madden laughs.

“We don’t make a lot of sense together. He’s this rugged, sexy, adult man who owns a successful business and has his shit together. I’m a junkie who doesn’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. I don’t have any delusions about what this is and I’m okay being his experiment. It’s better than never getting a chance with him at all.” I shrug, pretending to be much more casual that I truly feel about the whole thing.

“Don’t sell yourself short and don’t underestimate Adam,” Madden advises.

 

Adam

After his therapy session this morning and then spending a few hours with Madden, Nox seems to have a sense of calm about him I’m not used to. Not that I’m complaining, I want to find more ways to make him feel happy and comfortable every day.

Sitting on the couch with Nox, just a few inches of space between us is torture when Gage is only a few feet away on the floor. My skin feels weirdly itchy being near Nox and not able to touch him. I’m not even talking sexually, although…

Truly though, all I want is to put my arms around him and cuddle while we watch t.v.

Nox glances over at me with a shy smile and I can tell he’s thinking the same thing I am.

“Oh wow, I’m crazy tired. I think I’m going to hit the hay.” Hit the hay? Smooth, super convincing. Gage doesn’t seem phased, he just grunts in acknowledgement.

I catch Nox’s gaze and give a subtle jerk of my head so he knows I’m hoping he’ll follow. He nods in return but stays seated for the time being.

When I get to my room I don’t waste any time, stripping down and climbing into bed to wait for Nox to sneak in.

Nox’s scent lingers on my sheets and pillows making my cock throb and my heart stutter. It’s only been about a month since we started fooling around but Nox feels like he’s a staple in my life. I feel like there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. I’ve never come close to feeling this way about anyone, maybe it’s quick, but it feels so right.

By the time Nox slips into my room I’m going crazy with need to taste him.

“Mmmm, is that a gun or are you happy to see me?” Nox jokes, eyes fixed on my hand slowly jerking my cock, and he licks his lips.

“Come here, Bird.” My voice is tight and strained.

“You need me to take care of you?”

“No.”

“What do you want then?” Nox asks in a sultry, teasing tone.

“I want you to strip naked and then sit on my face so I can eat your ass until you come.”

A beautiful blush creeps into Nox’s cheeks and his breath hitches at my words.

“I don’t...um…” Nox bites his bottom lip and looks at me with shy desire.

“You don’t want that or no one has ever done it for you before?”

“No one has. You don’t exactly pay a whore to give them pleasure, you know?”

“You’re not a whore,” I growl, protectiveness rearing up inside me. Not protective against the outside world, but against the negative self-talk Nox clearly has going on. “You are a strong, amazing, fucking sexy man. And your boyfriend wants to tongue your ass until you can’t even see straight. That cool?”

“You’re my boyfriend?” Nox asks coyly.

“Fucking right I am, now strip.” I give him a playful swat on the ass and he finally hurries to comply.

I lay down on my bed and wait for him, my dick achingly hard in anticipation. I’ve always been an ass man, even when I was only with women. I’ve always loved eating ass and I’m even more excited at the idea of giving this new pleasure to Nox.

When Nox’s clothes are in a pile on the floor he stops and looks uncertain again.

“Please let me do this for you. I want it so badly.” A bead of pre-cum leaks from the tip of my cock and onto my stomach highlighting my enthusiasm for the situation.

That seems to calm Nox somewhat and he starts to position himself. When he starts to wiggle into place his balls end up dangling opportunely and I take advantage, running my tongue along his sack and eliciting a gasp.

 

 

Nox

Air rushes from my lungs as a ripple of pleasure flows through me. I lean forward to grab onto the headboard of Adam’s bed to steady myself as he tongues my balls and taint.

“Am I smothering you?” I check between panting breaths.

“Mmuh,” Adam mumbles, hands gripping my waist and encouraging me to ease down a little closer.

I jump at the intense sensation when Adam’s tongue teases along the rim of my hole. But his hands soothe along my hips and thighs, helping me to relax and enjoy the way he devours my ass. The fervor of his licks and the sounds rumbling from his chest as he alternates between using the full flat of his tongue and trying to work the tip inside to fuck me, I can tell he’s enjoying this as much as I am.

I was skeptical that he could make me come just by eating my ass, but my doubts are fading with each skillful stroke.

“Jesus, that feels so good,” I moan, gripping the headboard tighter as my hips twitch against the urge to ride the hell out of his mouth.

Noticing the minute motion Adam grabs my hips and encourages me to move, to grind against him, to take my pleasure.

I don’t need any further invitation and in almost no time at all my balls are aching and the heat is spreading along my skin.

“I’m close,” I warn, unsure where he wants me to finish. I don’t want to nut in his hair or on his pillow if I can help it. And time is running down for me to be able to help it.

“Onmyface,” he mumbles against my taint before carefully sucking my balls into his mouth again. The hot pressure does me in and I have to hurry to scramble back enough to do as he asked. Once I’m in position it only takes two rough jerks of my leaking cock for my orgasm to crash over me, hot ropes of release covering Adam’s face.

“So fucking hot,” I praise before licking my release off his face and then shoving my tongue in his mouth.

I feel Adam’s arm moving between us as I use my tongue to fuck his mouth, and seconds later he tenses, moaning into my mouth as his own pleasure overtakes him.

“Was that okay?” Adam asks a few minutes later in a sleepy, satisfied voice.

“Better than okay.”

Adam reaches for a dirty shirt off his floor and uses it to mop my cum off his face. Fuck that’s hot.

“I’m going to go get cleaned up and brush my teeth. I’ll be right back.”

I snuggle under the sheets and inhale deeply, letting Adam’s scent fill my lungs. Madden’s words from earlier replay through my mind. Don’t underestimate Adam.

He’s back quickly pulling me into his arms and nuzzling against the back of my neck. It’s quickly become one of my favorite sensations, the prickly scratching of his beard against the back of my neck. I wiggle closer to him and feel his semi-soft cock pressing up against my ass cheek. A few weeks ago that would’ve caused me to tense, thinking of the ways he could take advantage of me if he chose to. Now a sense of trust and comfort settles over me.

Adam would never hurt me.

Even as I think those words I know without a shadow of a doubt they’re true.

“Night, Bird.”