CHAPTER 9

 

“Why do you do this to me? Do you hate me?”

Cici fidgeted with the knife in front of her. She thought she didn’t want to be here, but she would change her mind. Which was why I only told her where we were going to dinner and not why.

“You know you’re excited to see him. He asked about you right away. I think he missed you, too.”

“But I didn’t miss him at all. He still makes an appearance in my nightmares from time to time. Why can’t I leave?”

I took the knife out of her hand before she hurt herself. “Must we go over this again? You can’t leave because I drove us here, and I also stole your wallet so you have no financial means to get yourself home.”

She grabbed her purse, rifling through it to verify. She looked up at me, then fumbled though her purse again and looked back at me. “You stole my wallet.” She didn’t use her inside voice, and her inflection at the end was over the top.

“I know. That’s what I just said.” She never listened.

“I can’t believe you stole my wallet.” More disbelief.

I tore a piece of bread off the loaf in the basket in the middle of the table. “And your keys.”

She looked back in her purse. “You realize this is considered kidnapping in all fifty states, right?”

She always had a flair for the dramatic. “Pfft. Keeping you here against your will is not like kidnapping at all. I’ll take you home after we have dinner and connect with an old friend. Calm down. It’s not like he’s going to murder you.”

“That’s what clowns do, Maggie!” Everyone in the restaurant looked at our table. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Did you learn nothing from the Stephen King documentary, It? Clowns are built for one thing—murder.” She picked up her fork and held it in her fist like a weapon.

“That was a movie, not a documentary, and I don’t think the It clown worked in a rodeo.”

“Oh, did you get a peek at his résumé?” Her volume rose again. “They are all painted demons shat from Satan’s asshole! If I want to get stabbed in the face by a freak, I’ll swing through Times Square. I’m not going out like that! Not today or any other day!”

Several hands flew up in the air doing the international “Check, please!” gesture. Parents covered their children’s ears. The entirety of the waitstaff glared at us.

I took her fork away, too. “Can you lower your voice, freakazoid? You’re scaring the children. Andy will be here in a minute, and it would be nice if you weren’t whipped up into a frenzy.”

Andy, my brief rodeo clown beau, was passing through the city with his team. He called me to see if we could meet up for dinner. Sure, clowns were one of her biggest fears, but she needed to get past that if she wanted to live a full life. He asked a lot about Cici and how she was doing, so I thought it would be fun to get the gang back together. When we were dating, he would always ask if Cici were home before he would come to our dorm. He always showed up with a present for her, which was thoughtful. He even invited her every time we went out, but she always declined.

“Why is there even a rodeo in New York City? That makes no sense.” Cici wasn’t letting this go.

I huffed. “I don’t know. I’ll ask to see his business model and tour schedule when he gets here, Cici. Just be nice.”

“His business model is just going to say ‘Murder’ across the top of the page.” She fought a smile pulling at her lips.

I tried to swallow my laugh. “I’ll stab you myself. I don’t need to wait for a clown.”

“Speaking of . . .” She nodded behind me.

I turned around and saw Andy walking toward us. He mentioned he had a show tonight, but I assumed he would change out of his costume before meeting us. I assumed wrong, and I knew Cici was going to make me pay for this probably forever. If not longer.

While I stood up to give Andy a hug, I caught Cici out of the corner of my eye swiping the knife from Andy’s place setting.

“Maggie! You look great. How have you been?” Andy hugged me quickly. Under the cap that made him look like a balding old man and the fake gut, was a hot, young, blond man with the bluest eyes you’d ever seen.

“I’ve been great. I’m all settled in to my new job and my new apartment. What about you? How have you been?” I wanted to ask him how long he was staying because I had missed him, and it would be nice to have another familiar face around. But I didn’t want to lead with, Can I make you breakfast?

“I’ve been so good. I’ve been traveling around to different rodeos instead of waiting for them to come to me. Best decision I’ve ever made.”

He turned his back to me and walked around the table to Cici, who clearly wasn’t going to get up. “Cici! It’s so great to see you again! How are you? You look like you’ve been well. I want to hear everything you’ve been up to since the last time I saw you. Don’t leave out any details.” He bent down to hug her in her chair. She went stiffer than a five-day-old corpse in a block of ice, but Andy didn’t seem to notice.

“I’ve been fine,” she said through a forced smile. She couldn’t be outwardly rude for long. It was the Midwesterner in her.

Andy sat down in a chair between us. “I’ve missed you ladies. It’s been a while. Are you living here, Cici, or are you planning to move back home?”

Cici widened her eyes as she looked at me. We’d known each other long enough that I could read the a-clown-wants-my-address look on her face.

She took a drink of water from her glass, sipping slowly. “I, um, I’m planning to stay in the city.”

Andy put his hand over her arm on the table. “Well, that’s great! We should go have a drink while I’m in town. What part of the city are you living in?”

She looked at me the same way again. I smiled. She needed to get past her clown fear.

She took another long drink of water. I saw the glass tremble when she set it down. “I, uh, I’m staying in a place in Bushwick.” Her voice got progressively lower with each word in the sentence.

He took his hand off her arm and tapped the table. “Well, that settles it! I’ll brush up on the subway schedule, and we can go grab a drink after my show tomorrow.”

“I don’t drink,” she blurted out almost before he finished speaking.

Our waitress stopped by the table, interrupting any further conversation about Cici’s sudden teetotaling. “Hi, I’m Rachel. I’ll be your waitress tonight. Welcome to Thursday’s. What can I get you guys to drink?”

I held up their short wine list. “Hi, Rachel. I don’t see it on your list here, but I’ll take a bottle of the 2005 Château Pétrus. Thank you so much.”

Rachel’s smile slipped a bit. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t carry that bottle. Would you care for a glass of the house red or white?”

This was disappointing to say the least. “Well, do you have any vintages that are not on this list?”

Rachel’s smile vanished. “No, we make it a rule to list all the wines we have. It makes it easier to sell them that way.”

She was sassy, but I respected that. “I’ll take a glass of your red, thank you.”

She turned to Cici. “For you?”

Cici looked at Clown Andy and back to the waitress. “What is the strongest drink you have here?”

She didn’t miss a beat. “That would have to be the Tequila Faceplant. It’s six different types of alcohol with a pineapple wedge for garnish.”

“I will take that, and don’t ever let my glass get empty.”

Rachel pursed her lips. “We’re only legally allowed to serve three per customer, and I’m going to need to see some ID for both of you.”

I pulled out my license, but I hadn’t brought Cici’s wallet in with me. “Here’s mine, but my friend here doesn’t have any ID on her. She’s exactly two months, seven days, and four hours older than me, though.”

Rachel hesitated. Cici grabbed her arm and jerked her closer. “There’s a clown sitting next to me. A clown. Do you understand?”

Rachel nodded and whispered, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Cici nodded in turn. “Bless you.”

“What can I get for you, Bozo?” Rachel asked.

“I’ll take a Miller Light.” Andy smiled, in contrast with the red frown painted on his face.

Rachel left to put in our drink orders. Andy kept smiling, and Cici kept glaring at him out of the corner of her eye. I tapped Andy on the shoulder. “Did I tell you I’ve been watching a lot of rodeo movies lately? Well, not a lot of them. There aren’t that many, which is a shame, but I’ve watched all the ones I could find.”

Andy smiled some more. “That’s nice. What kind of movies do you like, Cici?”

Cici looked directly at him for a second, and then turned away. “I’m sorry, but can you take off the red nose? It’s very distracting.”

Andy felt his face “Oh, sorry. I forgot.” He pulled off the nose and then the bald cap covering his head. “I was in such a hurry to get here. I only changed my shoes because I got the floppy ones stuck in a subway door last time I was here.”

Rachel appeared with our drinks in record time. She set them down in front of each of us and leaned over to Cici. “I talked to the bartender. He can’t serve you any more than three, but because of the situation”—she inclined her head toward Andy—“he added an extra shot.”

Cici placed her hand gently on Rachel’s cheek. “Thank you. You’re doing God’s work.”

“Happy to help.” Rachel smiled and stood up straight. “What can I get you guys to eat?”

Cici ordered a cheesesteak, Andy ordered a hamburger, and I had questions about the menu. “Is there anything—”

“No,” she interrupted, “we do not have anything that is not on the menu.”

Foiled again. “I guess I’ll have a house salad then. Dressing on the side. Thank you.”

Rachel turned to leave, but Cici grabbed her arm. “Wait just a second.” She chugged her drink and handed the glass to Rachel while her body convulsed for three full seconds. “I’ll take the next one now,” she rasped.

“I thought you didn’t drink,” Andy said.

“Seemed like a good time to start,” she replied with no emotion on her face.

Cici couldn’t hold hard liquor and she knew it. I ignored her poor decisions because I had something important to ask Andy. “So, I’m thinking about getting a mechanical bull installed in my living room. Is there a certain brand you would recommend?”

He didn’t hear me because he was busy trying to make plans with Cici for tomorrow. I tapped him on the shoulder again. “I can meet up for drinks tomorrow. Where are you thinking about going?”

Andy rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, we’re probably meeting up somewhere in Williamsburg. It would be too far for you. I don’t want you to go out of your way.”

“I never said I would meet you.” Cici’s eyes were already glassy from her drink.

Ignoring Cici, I put my hand over the top of Andy’s. “Don’t be silly. I can drive to Brooklyn. I do it all the time. Let me know where to meet you.”

Andy pulled his hand out from under mine. “Sure. I’ll text you. Cici, I brought you something.” He pulled the plastic flower out of his lapel and handed it to her. She cowered away from his arm.

Rachel appeared with Cici’s next drink, but Andy paid her no attention. “Look, it squirts water.” He squeezed a bulb at the base of the stem and a stream of water shot into Cici’s face.

Rachel handed a stunned Cici her napkin. “I’ll go ahead and put in the order for your next one.”

Cici wiped off her face, then downed her drink in one pull. She hadn’t drank like this in a while, so this couldn’t be heading anywhere but to hair-holding over the toilet. I pulled a hunk of bread off the loaf on the table. “Why don’t you have more carbs, Cici? I think you’ll feel better.”

She swatted the bread out of my hand. “Why don’t you have fewer clowns, Maggie?”

And we’ve taken a left turn into Drunkville already. Mama really needed to get laid. I should have known Cici would be a terrible wingman with clowns.

Only five minutes passed before Rachel returned with our food. The couple of tables who got there before us hadn’t been served yet. She must have been rushing everything in the back to turn over the clown table faster. Artists have always been misunderstood in their time.

Andy raised his hand before she walked off. “Excuse me, Rachel, it looks like I’m missing my knife. Could I trouble you for one?”

Cici grabbed Rachel’s arm. “Don’t you dare give this clown a knife! He’s a demon! A demon!”

More people stared. I shielded my mouth so Cici couldn’t see. “I think we’re going to be canceling that last drink order, Rachel.”

“You’re not going to be murdering me, mister! I’m on to you!” Cici pointed an accusatory finger at Andy.

“Solid plan,” Rachel said. “I’ll grab your check, too.”

I was hoping I wouldn’t be going home alone tonight, but I was also hoping it would be with someone other than my intoxicated best friend who was making a cross with her fingers in front of Andy’s face.

I moved my hand back toward Andy’s. “Do you want to try for a do-over tomorrow night?”

He put his hand in his lap. “You know, I think I’m going to take a rain check on that. I’ll be pretty tired after the show.”

“That’s right, hell beast! You’re too scared to fight me!”

I wasn’t good at the caretaking role. That was Cici’s thing. I knew my limits, and we had more than crossed them.

“Andy, I don’t think we can wait for the check.” I took out my wallet and tossed a couple hundred dollars on the table. “Please apologize to our waitress, and tell her to keep the tip. Also tell her I will assume we’re banned from coming back. It was good seeing you again. Keep up the good rodeo work.”

I walked around to Cici’s side of the table. “Let’s go, Drunky Drunkface. We need to get you in bed.”

“Don’t you judge me, clown-bringer!” She tossed a french fry at my face.

“Time to go, Cici.” I tugged on her arm.

“I can’t leave without my food.” She opened her purse and dumped the plate of food directly into it. “And the bread. I need that, too.” She stuffed the loaf on top.

My mouth dropped open. That was a Bottega Veneta bag, and Cici had no clue how much it cost. I gave it to her for her birthday and told her I bought it at Marshall’s. She was now the proud owner of a three-thousand-dollar doggie bag.

“That’s it. You’re coming with me.” I squatted down and hoisted her over my shoulder like a fireman. Cici always told me I was part ant because I could lift six times my body weight. It came in handy at times. This was one of those times.

We almost made it out of the restaurant without further incident when Cici yelled, “See you in hell, clown!” before passing out.

***

Finn sucked on the side of my neck. I knew it would leave a mark, and I didn’t want to admit how hungry I was for him to mark me. Make me his. My skin burned where his touched mine as he hovered over me. His hand was entwined with mine while the other dipped into my panties.

One finger circled, then two. I was so close. I moaned his name over and over until it didn’t sound like a word anymore. His mouth moved off my neck, but I could still feel the burn. He released my hand so he could kiss down my body. One nipple. Then the other. My stomach. Finally, he reached the juncture between my thighs. His fingers never stopped working inside me. His tongue danced over my clit and that was the final straw. I screamed his name as I came with the momentum of a freight train.

I tugged on his thick, dark hair to get his attention. I wanted to see his face. He looked up at me, but it was all wrong. His gorgeous face was covered in white paint. His mouth was outlined in red paint.

“Finn, what’s wrong with you?”

He smiled.

“Finn?”

“I’m going to throw up,” he moaned.

What?

The sound of a human body turning inside out brought me out of dreamland. I looked into my bathroom to see Cici with her head in the toilet.

Ew.

I jumped up, trying to remember what she did to take care of me the few times I had been in this position. I grabbed a hair tie from my drawer and pulled her hair out of the way. Next, I grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water. Lastly, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and brought it in to her.

She pushed herself back to lean against the wall next to the toilet while I wiped off her face.

“Do I want to know what happened last night?”

“Nope.”

She took a sip of water. “We can’t go back to that restaurant, can we?”

I scooted back to sit next to her. “Not at all.”

“That’s what I thought.”

We sat in silence for two minutes.

“You woke me up screaming Finn’s name again.”

I fiddled with the hem of my nightgown. “Oh. Sorry. That dream took a weird turn. Not unrelated, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing Andy again.”

“Please never tell me.” She took another sip. Her color was slowly morphing away from the green section of the color wheel.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m trying to block it out myself.”

She got quiet again for another minute.

“There is one thing I want to know,” she said. “Why is my purse full of french fries, a sandwich, and a stale loaf of bread?”