CHAPTER 19

MAGGIE

With less than an hour of flying time, we were off to get our license in no time. I’d made Cole and Cici stay in my sight at all times during the flight. They couldn’t be trusted alone.

We took a cab to the courthouse, making it with two minutes to spare. The woman who filled out our license didn’t look nearly as excited that we beat the closing time.

“Names?” she barked.

“Oliver Finn Vandergriff,” Finn answered, producing his driver’s license.

The lady with salt and pepper hair and glasses attached to a chain looked from him to his license.

I slid my license across the counter to her. “Margaret Foster Vincent.”

She looked tired. “What, are you two royalty or something?”

“Oh, I’m not, but he is. We are thirteen accidental deaths away from ruling a country.” I smiled at her, hoping she could move the process along faster.

“Two months until retirement, Doris. Just two months,” she mumbled under her breath.

I ran my hand through Finn’s hair. I wanted to talk to him about something worrying me, but I didn’t know how to start. I decided to jump in the middle and make it up as I went along. That method hadn’t failed me yet. Much.

“How would you feel if I kept my name after we’re married? My parents don’t have anyone to carry on their name, and I don’t want to take that from them. It would mean a lot to me. And them.”

He smiled a tiny smile. “Well, well, well. Maggie Foster. I thought you couldn’t wait to get rid of your past. What brought this on?”

I didn’t entirely know the answer to that. “I’m not really sure. I like my name and my parents couldn’t have any more kids. I would be sad if this branch of the Foster tree ended today. I think I should carry it on for as long as I can.”

He kissed my forehead. “I love you, and I think you should take whatever name you want. I think if you want to call yourself Princess of the Morning Wood, you should go for it.”

“Two more months,” Doris mumbled.

“Really? You’re okay with it?” Had I been obsessing over nothing? Was I turning into Cici?

“Of course I’m okay with it. It’s your name. I’m not going to club you over your head and carry you back to my cave.”

Doris needed to hurry up with that marriage license. “I’d be okay with the carrying me back to your cave part.”

Doris shoved more papers in front of us. “I need you both to sign here and here. Do you both swear under penalty of perjury that all the information you have provided is accurate? Et cetera, et cetera. It’s closing time.”

We signed on the lines, and a printer that looked like it had seen more birthdays than I had churned out our permission to marry in the great state of Rhode Island.

“We’re closed now. Bye.” Doris was such a softie.

***

We took another cab to three blocks away from the warehouse address. It was dusk and the streets were thankfully empty. We hadn’t thought our subterfuge all the way through or else we would have bought a bag at the hardware store. Instead, we were carrying this giant Ace paper bag down the street.

We cut through an alleyway and found the rear entrance to the warehouse.

“I don’t like this at all,” Cici whispered.

“I don’t give a damn what you guys do, but I’m not wearing a Chewbacca costume,” Cole whispered.

“Shh!” Finn hissed as he put on his gloves. “This is only the second time I’ve done this. I need to concentrate.”

“Second time?” Cici asked.

“Shh!” I zipped my fingers across my lips. “He has to concentrate.”

Finn rubbed his hands together and pulled out the flashlight. The three of us stood bunched up behind him. He studied the door for a minute before turning around.

“There’s no bolt to cut. I thought there would be a bolt. Does anyone know how to pick a lock?”

“Have you tried to open the door yet?” Cole whispered.

Finn and I both shook our heads. “Do you really think they are going to leave priceless Star Wars props and costumes behind an unlocked door?”

Cole reached around Finn and turned the knob. The door creaked open. “Guess they do.”

Finn shined his flashlight inside the dark interior. The warehouse looked fairly large, so the little light didn’t do much. I pushed the three bodies in front of me inside so I could take a look. So many dreams were coming true.

“Let’s find the costumes,” I whispered. We only had one flashlight, so we had to stick together. We couldn’t see much beyond a foot or so in front of Finn. He stopped short when he almost ran into a tall cabinet.

“This looks promising.” He pulled the handle, and what looked like oversized beach balls came bouncing out.

“What the . . .?” I picked up one of the balls as it rolled by. It was painted with a cowboy outfit and had a hole in the top where the head would be.

I grabbed the flashlight out of Finn’s hand and shined it around. I stopped on a sign propped up against the wall, reading Playskool Weebles.

I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around, already knowing it was Cici.

“I hate to be the one to point this out, but this doesn’t look like a Star Wars warehouse. I think it might be for a children’s show.”

“Do you think?” My dream wedding was taking a detour, and biting sarcasm was my lifeline.

“On the bright side, no Chewbacca costume,” Cole whispered.

I felt something warm close over my hand. I would recognize that touch anywhere.

“Honey, it doesn’t matter what kind of costumes we wear to get married. All that matters is I get to be with you for the rest of my life, and we get to start our life together tonight.” He put his hands on my face. “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

I grabbed the front of his suit and pulled him against me. The flashlight knocked against the ground, casting us into total darkness. He felt like home. My mouth found his. I pushed my tongue past his lips, hoping he could feel how much he meant to me. I needed him. Now. I only wanted to stop kissing him long enough to marry him.

I turned in his arms to face where I thought Cole and Cici were. “You’re right. We’ve come this far. We have a license and Cole changed his religion. Let’s do this!” I pumped my fist in the air, but I doubted anyone saw it.

Finn picked up the flashlight from the floor and shined it back into the cabinet. “Everyone grab a ball and suit up.”

“Wait.” I put my hand on Finn’s arm. “There’s something I need to do first.” I pulled my phone out of my purse and hit the number in my contacts list. She answered in the middle of the first ring. “Hey, Mom.”

“Margaret, I’ve been waiting for your call. Are you alive? Have you been kidnapped?” It was good to hear her voice.

“I’m fine, Mom. Great, actually. Finn said he talked to you earlier.” I left that hanging in the air. I wasn’t sure how to tell my stately mother I was getting married dressed as a Weeble by someone who received their illustrious ordination from a smartphone.

“Finn? Who is Finn? I spoke to Oliver. Do you have another suitor? What is going on, Margaret?” She sounded worried. That wasn’t a common occurrence for Mrs. Maxwell Foster Vincent IV.

“Finn and Oliver are one in the same.” I grabbed Finn’s hand for support. “We’re getting married.”

“Margaret, that’s wonderful! Your father and I are so happy!”

I felt Cici put her arm through mine on the other side.

“I didn’t finish, Mom. We’re getting married now. Right now.”

Silence.

“Mom?”

More silence.

I offered an olive branch. “I’m willing to make a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” she asked hesitantly.

This was going to cost me quite a bit of my dignity, but I would hate myself if I cheated my parents out of seeing their only daughter married. That was more important to them than just having a party. “Here’s the deal. Finn and I are having the wedding we want today. I will agree to whatever kind of crazy fancy wedding and reception you want afterward. You name the time and date, and we will be there. I might not even complain about it.” I felt Finn squeeze my hand. “You only get to throw your daughter a fake second wedding once, so you might as well enjoy it.”

“Are you serious? You’re going to give me carte blanche to organize your wedding?”

“Second wedding. But yes. You and Finn’s mom can do whatever you want.”

Another length of silence.

“Are you going to black out your front teeth again?”

“Oh, most certainly.”

“As expected. I wholeheartedly accept your terms. My baby is getting married!”

Finn, Cici, and I jumped up and down as a unit. Cole stood off to the side with the flashlight trying to pick out his Weeble.

“I’ll call you when we get back, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Maggie. And Oliver. Finn. Whatever his name is.”

I ended the call. “All right, everyone. Let’s do this thing!”

We each picked out our ball of choice and used the flashlight to find the stage where they obviously filmed a Weebles television show. Getting into the costumes was quite a bit harder than anticipated. The feet portion was slightly less rounded than the rest of the ball. There were no arm or leg holes. You had to climb in the top, hunker down, and try to stabilize yourself. I needed to have a chat with whoever designed these costumes.

“I hate everything about this,” Cici muttered as she hopped up next to me.

“You always complain about my ideas.” Always the pragmatist. She could never go with the flow.

“Maggie! We broke into a building, and now I’m stuck in a giant ball with a farmer costume painted on the front!” In her agitation, she fell over and rolled three times. “Fuck!”

Cole hopped over and nudged her upright again. “Can we get this show on the road before we get arrested?”

“I love that idea.” Finn hopped up beside me. “Cole, you’re up front, and Cici, you’re next to Maggie. . . . Shit.”

I spun my ball to look at him. “What is it?”

He flattened his lips into a straight line and exhaled through his nose. “If Cole officiates, then we have no second witness.”

“Double shit!” How did we not think of that?

Sudden brightness blinded me, and I fell over, taking Finn down with me.

“What the hell is going on in here?” a man yelled. “Are you with that cult?”

I rolled over and managed to get upright again. A short man wearing a security guard uniform stood in front of us, holding out his pepper spray.

Finn was upright after his second attempt. “We’re not with any cult. It’s a rather long story, but my fiancée and I are getting married. We didn’t mean to scare you. I know it’s unorthodox, but could you be our witness?”

“Your what?” He lowered the pepper spray just a little.

“Our witness.” I used the most soothing tone I could manage. Getting maced would delay the wedding for sure. “We need a second witness, and then we’ll be out of your hair.”

He clipped the bottle back on his belt. “I thought this would be a nice, quiet job. I don’t know why you weirdos keep breaking in here. It’s a children’s show, for cripe’s sake. I shouldn’t have to work this hard.”

Finn hopped forward. “You should take that up with Shawn in Pittsburgh.”

“Who’s Shawn?” The night watchman walked forward with a more relaxed posture.

“He’s the preteen who’s posted this address online. It’s part of that long story I mentioned earlier.” Finn unleashed an innocent smile. “Would you mind being our witness?”

“What do I have to do?”

“Just stand there and sign our marriage license at the end.”

The man thought about it and shrugged. “I can do that.”

I bounced in my ball and fell over again. “Damn it.”

“What’s your name?” Finn asked.

“Dan.” The man extended his hand but then retracted it when he realized Finn had no arms.

“Nice to meet you, Dan. Thanks for joining our wedding party.”

“Are we finally ready?” Cole asked.

“I couldn’t be more ready.” I smiled at Finn, my soon-to-be-husband.

Cole cleared his throat. “Good. I call this meeting to order, then.”

“Baby, I don’t think that’s how you start a wedding.” Cici struggled to stay vertical in her costume.

“Well, the script for a wedding is on my phone, which is stuck in my pocket, so we’re going to have to wing this one. Does anyone have any objections? No? The motion is passed.”

“Have you ever even been to a wedding?” Cici asked.

Cole’s ball fell over, and he rolled into the oversized purple couch on the stage. He used it to pull himself back up to standing. “I’m under a lot of pressure here! I have a certificate that says my word is the gospel, so I need everyone to pipe down and fall in line!”

“That’s not at all what your certificate says, honey. But we can role-play with that later.” She winked at him.

I pivoted to my right. “Dan, I need you to get your pepper spray out again.”

“Let’s start over,” Cole announced. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to say, but that’s the least weird thing happening right now. Maggie, Finn, if you love each other half as much as I love Cici, then you’re going to be just fine. Finn, Maggie is like a sister to me. In fact, I like her better than my sister. Please take care of her. I’m going to open up the floor to vows now.”

Finn spun so he was facing me. “Margaret Vincent Foster, I think I have loved you from the moment I first saw you. You are more than I could’ve ever dreamed for in a wife. I will never be able to express how much I love you.”

I could feel the tears threatening to fall. “Oliver Finn Vandergriff, you have been such a huge part of my life, even when you weren’t in it. You are so funny and unafraid to take chances, and you have the biggest heart. I can’t wait to see the incredible life we’re going to have together.”

Cici sniffled to my side.

“Will you be exchanging rings?” Cole asked.

Finn looked down at his ball with no arms. “I think we’ll be saving that part for later.”

“Well, then, by the powers vested in me by GetMarriedNow.com, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

We were married. I was married to Finn. It was a dream I never had to wake up from. Connecting lips with him took a few attempts, but it was worth it. Kissing my husband was beyond any magic in the movies. It was real and it was mine.