Chapter Fifteen

Dale lay awake for a long time, hearing those last words over and over again in his head.

For as long as you’ll have me.

It hurt, knowing he was the one holding back. He was the one with so many fears they paralyzed him. Could he get over the past and live a normal life? He wanted to more than anything in the world. He also knew he would never find a better partner, not a shifter or a human. If he was dumb enough to let Gavin slip through his fingers, he deserved to live the rest of his life sad and lonely.

Just one problem—how the hell was he going to make this work? Forget the irrational fear for Gavin’s safety. What about the fact that he’d never in his life felt such a strong urge to change a human being into his kind? Not even with Ethan.

But this kid. Man. Gavin. They were meant to be together. He felt it in his bones. Except for that one little detail.

A sorrow for what would never be consumed him, making his heart beat too fast when he was supposed to be sleeping. The sun would be up soon. He had no doubt someone from the council would show up to harass him again in the morning. He had a stack of paperwork sitting on the kitchen table that had arrived earlier by courier. A job offer. Not one he wanted to take, but still there in black and white all the same. George was persistent if nothing else.

Was it possible the Arcadian Council really needed him for the job? They couldn’t get by without his particular help? Seriously? The world was filled with computer geeks. They just needed to find another one.

With that last thought in mind, he finally relaxed enough to slide into unconsciousness. He knew Gavin would be right beside him when he woke up, and that alone soothed his soul.

Rest. The one word filtered into his mind from someone else, but there was no one nearby to have communicated the suggestion. He’d imagined it. And he heeded it.

It seemed like only moments later that he awoke to the feel of a hand wrapped around his cock. He smiled before he opened his eyes.

“Mmm. I was wondering if you were planning to sleep all day or not.”

Dale finally blinked the sleep from his eyes and turned his head toward Gavin. He was flat on his back with the sheet pushed down to his thighs. Gavin was leaning on one elbow, staring down at him. His fist was wrapped around Dale’s dick, thrusting slowly up and down without enough pressure.

“You haven’t moved for hours.”

“I slept hard. What time is it?” He wrapped his hand around Gavin’s and stroked with him, losing focus on anything else.

“Almost eleven. It’s been raining for a while.”

The sound of raindrops hitting the roof and windows filtered into Dale’s consciousness. “Mmm,” he repeated, engrossed in his rigid cock more than the weather report.

He was way off his normal schedule. He never slept this late. Of course, he wouldn’t have gone to work today anyway with the rain, but he still would have gotten up, worked out, gone for a run. Something. Sleeping late wasn’t his gig.

Gavin tugged his hand out from under Dale’s and nudged his fingers out of the way as he crawled down the bed. Before Dale had a chance to wrap his mind around Gavin’s attentions, the man was nestled between Dale’s legs with his mouth wrapped around the thick erection threatening to erupt. “Oh, God.”

Gavin’s mouth felt so damn good. The kid gave head better than anyone for as infrequently as he’d done it in his life. He put so much of himself into it as if he were starving and it was the best meal he’d ever had.

Dale reached around to thread his fingers in his sub’s hair, but Gavin grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the bed. Dale was so shocked by his blatant topping that he could do nothing but lift his head to stare down at the scene. His lover wrapped his free hand around the base of Dale’s erection, but he gripped that wrist tight, holding him down.

He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or flip Gavin over and take control. But the blowjob felt so fucking amazing that he decided to let his sub play. It wasn’t as though Gavin didn’t like having his head held firmly against Dale’s cock. He’d never balked at the pressure before. And besides, he sucked Dale into his throat so deeply there was no leftover space for improvement. His manhandling had nothing to do with a resistance to take Dale as deep as possible. It was something else. Was he testing his Dom?

Dale let his head fall back against the pillow and closed his eyes. He bucked his hips upward with each thrust into Gavin’s mouth. When his lover hollowed his cheeks and rose slowly toward the tip, Dale moaned. So damn good. He could get used to waking up like this.

Dale couldn’t keep himself from reaching for Gavin with his free hand. He cupped his face, encouraging him without words.

Gavin shocked him further by releasing the hold on the base of his cock and gripping that wrist to flatten it to his side also, imitating the other hand.

Dale smirked. Frisky little sub. Whatever he was angling for, Dale would dish it out…as soon as he came. It wouldn’t take long either. There was something inherently arousing about having his submissive on top of him holding him down, even if it was more symbolic than anything else. It wasn’t as if Gavin was strong enough to top Dale.

Dale lifted his hips, digging his heels into the mattress as his orgasm grew imminent. It didn’t take long either. Only a few more thrusts and he was on the edge. He considered warning his lover in case Gavin didn’t want to swallow him, but that didn’t seem to be a concern, so he grunted deep and stiffened as he emptied his semen into his sub’s throat.

Gavin swallowed, keeping Dale deep in his mouth as his throat worked hard to collect every drop. He waited until Dale’s cock stopped pulsing to slowly lift his face and release the still-stiff erection. “Mmm.”

Dale took several deep breaths, staring at the ceiling to find his brain cells before he lowered his gaze to find Gavin grinning, his hands still clasped tight around his Dom’s wrists. “What exactly was that little act? Testing me?” He couldn’t keep the corners of his mouth from lifting.

Gavin’s face was dancing with humor. He shrugged. “Wanted to see what it felt like. Or maybe I wanted you to get a taste of restraint.”

“You think you had me restrained?”

Gavin shrugged. “No. But you know better than me that the nonverbal demand has its own power over you.”

“Mmm.” He was still deciding how to play this out. What would his next move be?

Gavin released his Dom’s wrists and lifted to drag himself up Dale’s body until his own rock-hard erection pressed into Dale’s belly. When he tentatively lowered his face to take Dale’s lips in a kiss, Dale nearly groaned. Gavin was full of surprises this morning. He was also in for an awakening he had no way of imagining.

Dale grabbed Gavin’s biceps and flipped him onto his back without breaking the kiss. He also climbed over Gavin’s body to press him into the mattress with far more force than Gavin had accomplished. Dale was significantly bulkier and weighed a shit-ton more. He kissed him with total abandon, wishing they could stay in this bed for days on end. The kind of thoughts mates had after binding.

Except Dale would never be binding Gavin to him.

He shook the depressing realization from his mind and broke the kiss, lifting his face a few inches. “You done topping me, little sub?”

“Mmm. Not sure.”

“Oh, I think you are.”

Gavin’s cock jerked against Dale’s torso.

“Was it fun?”

“Yes.”

Dale lifted a brow.

Gavin licked his lips. “Yes, Sir.”

“Bet you’d like to come now, huh?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Guess you should have thought of that before you topped me.”

Gavin swallowed, his face flushing. He tucked both lips into his mouth and held them between his teeth.

Dale reached with one finger to tap them. “That’s not helping your cause.”

Gavin released them and gasped. “Sorry, Sir.”

“I think I should leave you like this for a while. Maybe even restrain you and go for a run.”

Gavin’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“Not so cocky now, are you?”

Oh, damn, this was hot. Gavin was so aroused it was crazy. Sweat built up on his brow.

Suddenly he had a plan. “I’m starving. Let’s eat.” He set his fingers over Gavin’s lips before the kid could respond. “And how about you don’t speak again until I tell you.”

Gavin nodded slightly, his lips pursing under Dale’s hand.

“Good boy. Now let’s go into the kitchen and see if you can behave yourself for a while.” Dale pushed off the bed. He grabbed a pair of boxers from a drawer and pulled them over his cock as he faced Gavin again. The sub was reaching for his underwear. “Leave them. I think you need to spend some time naked.” He snapped his fingers. “Let’s go.”

Dale could feel Gavin following him, but he didn’t turn around until they were in the great room. He grabbed a pillow off the couch and tossed it on the floor in the kitchen area. “Kneel there, sub.”

Gavin did as he was told, even clasping his hands behind his back and squaring his shoulders. A glance at his cock told Dale he was going to regret his actions soon.

Having Gavin top him had been hot. No denying the fact, but that didn’t mean he wanted Gavin to think he could do such a thing at his whim. They could possibly negotiate scenes like that, but Dale was in charge in the bedroom. His submissive was assuredly not.

Dale moved around the kitchen, grabbing eggs and sausage from the fridge and lighting the stove. His stomach grumbled as the scent of breakfast filled the room. It was nearly noon, so he was starving, and he knew Gavin would be too.

He grabbed the toaster while the other food cooked and set four slices in. Every once in a while he glanced at Gavin to find him in the same spot, gaze lowered, cock so hard it had to hurt.

When he had the food ready, he filled two plates and took them to the table. “Come eat, baby.” He ruffled his sub’s hair as he walked by to fill juice glasses and mugs of coffee.

Gavin stood and headed for the table. He pulled out a chair and sat without a word.

When Dale sat across from him, he smiled. “You can relax. Eat. Talk to me.”

Gavin’s shoulders lowered.

“I’d like to go for a run. That part hasn’t changed. My bear is crawling to get out, especially now that the rain has stopped.”

“That must feel strange.”

Dale shrugged. “Not to me.” Then he had an idea. “It’s a little bit like when you need to come so badly, but you don’t have permission.” He pointed toward Gavin’s crotch. “Your skin is crawling with need.”

“That I can relate to.”

“I know.” He smirked. “When I’m stressed or restless my grizzly side itches for release. It’s a similar sensation.”

Gavin played with his food, pushing it around with his fork. “It drives me crazy that I’ll never fully grasp that side of you.”

Dale reached over and wrapped his fingers around Gavin’s wrist. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine.”

He lifted his gaze. “I never would have expected to feel this way, but since I’ve come to Silvertip, my life has totally changed. In days. I feel more at home here in this town than I ever have in my life. I have better relationships with several of your people than I have with my own parents. Even people I’ve only met a few times make me feel welcome and important. Equal. Like I matter.”

Dale watched his lover’s face as he struggled. It killed him that he could never fully be immersed in this society. Especially if Gavin wanted to be. Damn the Arcadian Council and their rules. “If you could become a shifter, would you?”

“In a heartbeat.” He sighed as he lifted his fork and took a bite of eggs. He swallowed before speaking again. “Who wouldn’t? I mean there are only benefits. No drawbacks.”

Dale released his wrist to take a sip of coffee. “There are probably some drawbacks.”

“Name one.”

“Well, we live in secret. We have a hard time with human relationships.”

Gavin chuckled. “That’s all you’ve got? Not very convincing. And besides, you’re having a relationship with me, aren’t you?” He lifted a brow.

“Yes, but it hurts to watch you yearn for something you can never have. If we stayed together, that pain and sorrow would eat away at me.”

Gavin’s voice was even and soft when he spoke again. “Did you feel that way about Ethan?”

For the first time in five years, hearing that name didn’t make him want to break down and crawl into a hole. The entire community knew better than to bring up Ethan’s name. But Gavin had dug his way under Dale’s defenses, somehow managing to assume permission to openly discuss the tragedy that paved Dale’s destruction. He found himself shockingly still sitting upright and alive and able to speak. “No.” The weight of that one word was heavy on his heart.

Ethan had meant the world to him. He’d never thought he would get over the loss. He certainly never expected to feel anything close to the same level of connection with another living being. And yet, here he was, head over heels for another man. A human. Someone who had burrowed his way so deep under Dale’s skin that he could destroy him far more thoroughly than Ethan ever had.

He cleared his throat. “Something is different about you. It might be because you know. It might have something to do with the fact that I’m older. Wiser,” he teased, shocked by his ability to smile while discussing Ethan.

Gavin rolled his eyes, swallowing another bite. “Older and wiser huh.”

“Than I was when I was with Ethan.” Dale finished the last of his sausage and pushed his plate back.

Gavin lifted his plate to set it on top of Dale’s. “I have a request.”

“Okay.” Anything. Dale would give him anything he was capable of.

“Let me go with you. On your run I mean. Is that permitted?”

Dale was stunned for a moment, and then he nodded. “Of course. I mean there are no rules that say you can’t see us shifted. You know. You’ve seen people shift.”

Gavin shook his head. “No. I haven’t. The only experience I have is the one event ten years ago when I fell on my fourteen-year-old ass watching the unimaginable happen before my eyes. It’s more like a dream than anything else. Meanwhile, Paige was crying in the background. My heart was racing. I wasn’t sure I even saw what happened. I wasn’t that close. I was hiding behind a tree. Or so I thought.”

Dale frowned. “You’ve never seen Paige shift?”

He shook his head. “I’ve never even seen anyone in their bear form.”

“Shit. Well, yes. Let’s rectify that.” He pushed to standing and held out a hand toward Gavin. As he lured him away from the table, he glanced at his cock and smirked. “Still got that erection, I see.”

“Don’t suppose you intend to fix that problem?” Gavin asked.

“Nope. I like the idea of you suffering a bit for your attempt to top me this morning. Seems like the best punishment to keep you from doing something like that again.” He pulled his naked sub down the hall. Gavin needed clothes if they were going to go up into the mountains.

“You enjoyed it,” he nearly whined.

Dale stopped, spun around, and pressed Gavin against the hallway wall with his hands at his shoulders. He carefully avoided touching Gavin’s cock. “Not the point. If you want to top me in the future, we can discuss it. You can ask permission.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good boy. Now put your clothes on. It’s a little chilly out. You’ll need your jacket. I hope you’re up for a hike.”

“Can’t wait.”

Dale released his shoulders but cupped the back of his neck and kissed him soundly before letting him go entirely. “I’d like that dick of yours to stay hard for me. Think you can do that?”

Gavin nodded. “I’m not sure I could stop it from happening if you ordered me too.”

Dale chuckled. “If I ordered your cock to stand down, it would get stiffer and stay that way for hours.”

“Probably.”

Dale spun him around, swatted his ass, and pointed toward the bedroom. “Clothes.”