Chapter 1
“This has been doing nothing but crushing my spirit for nearly the past thirty years, but especially the past 15, Nathan!”
Hilary stood there, talking with her hands again, practically yelling, and Nathan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Nathan Gladwell was a practical man, despite that his lifestyle didn’t reflect that. He had been successful in the business of oil investments and starting up his own energy resources company, Crude Transfer Partners.
Being a billionaire had gained him more than his small town life in Oklahoma could ever have in his youth: a college education at a prestigious university, the chance meeting with his wealthy father-in-law who introduced him to investing in his oil company, his own Fortune 500 company, and properties he owned all North America and Jamaica. But now, he felt like he was losing everything because Hilary was his everything.
“You are not going to do this, Hilary,” Nathan said looking at his wife in shock.
“You are not going to start yet another argument that this is me ruining us because you are wanting to go off on some spirit retreat or adventure!”
“Oh, screw you,” she said in defiance. “You’ve known for years I’ve wanted to pursue more than just more business ventures with you, more real estate timeshares with you, more EVERYTHING surrounding you and the money because I never needed money from you!”
Her voice became shrill. Hilary then realized she was losing her composure, which went against her meditation practices. She took a deep breath before speaking again.
“You and Dad have always scoffed at my pursuits in spirituality. It’s the reason I wasn’t able to pursue my holistic medicine license when we were in the states. Then, when you said you wanted to come here to Jamaica, I tried to be optimistic that maybe this was finally a way for us to get away from it all.”
Tears were now gathering in his wife’s eyes. Nathan’s shoulders lowered. They were standing in the middle of the opulent kitchen of their Jamaica mansion, with its marble countertops, Italian imported tile floors, and stainless steel appliances. In that moment, Nathan looked around and considered maybe he hadn’t considered what mattered to Hilary for quite some time. Her vision for life in the islands was primitive but charming. She had shown interest in villas and smaller dwellings before they even set in stone that they were going to purchasing a home there.
The stark differences between them were now staring him in the face. After thirty years of him taking her interests in philanthropy work and seminars on renewable energy as hobbies, he was now seeing he totally dismissed what she was passionate about, and it was him or his own business goals in the oil and energy resources industry.
Nathan looked at his wife, his confidante, and friend in the eyes. “Hilary, I’m sorry,” he said as he took steps toward her. He rubbed the tears from her cheeks and looked her in the eyes.
“Tomorrow, we’ll take time to start seeing if we can fund whatever projects you want to start here. Whatever it is, I’m behind you. I’ll get in touch with Bill in accounting and see if we can even start some kind of school here or company that focuses just on---”
She cut him short. “I’ve already made arrangements to fly to Colorado.”
Nathan’s hands dropped to his sides, but his eyes never left hers.
“I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon,” she whispered. Sniffling and wiping her own eyes now, she turned away from Nathan and went to sit on a chaise lounge in the open great room space. Nathan’s hands weren’t the only things that dropped, but also his heart.
“You’re leaving tomorrow?” he asked. It wasn’t so much a question as an inner affirmation to himself. This was really happening.
He thought when this argument started maybe they’d have a heated discussion as usual and she go to bed angry, only to apologize tomorrow. He thought she’d stay again this time. He couldn’t move.
“You already bought the plane tickets?” His voice cracked just a little. At hearing that, she turned to him as if to see was he truly hurt.
“I did. I didn’t want to tell you like this,” she said through more tears. “I’ve had my bag packed in the guest room for five days now, debating if I was actually going to go through with it.” Nathan could not say a word. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it all.
“Are you going to Henry?” He could only hope she’d be with his father-in-law, who might talk some sense into her to return to Jamaica; talk her out of a divorce. Divorce. The word seemed to take up space in his mind the more her leaving was sinking in.
“No, Nathan. I’m going to Colorado, to a biotope commune there. The one I showed you two years ago.”
“You don’t know those people, Hilary” he yelled. Has she lost her mind! he thought to himself. “Hilary, you can’t be serious!” But she was. Later that night, she slept in the guest room, and he slept in their master suite.
*****
Nathan was still stunned hours later. How? Had he neglected her that much? Had he overlooked her goals, her hopes? The entire night, all he wanted was to run over to the other side of that mansion and beg her to stay. However, Nathan was now glad there was so much space between the two of them, so she couldn’t hear his crying through the walls at feeling like he would trade every bit of the billions he had to keep his first and only love in his life. In the morning, he would drive her to the airport and pray she might change her mind at the last minute. He didn’t know it then, but the time would come that he’d be so thankful she left him in his Jamaican oasis.
*****
She had seen a lot of beautiful pregnancies in her day, but none so special as this one. Marnie Hall had been the doula, or midwife, of her small Kingston community since she was sixteen. Her mother said she had a calling for caring for the sick and the young, which inspired her to pursue nursing school when she was eighteen.
Now, forty-three years old and retired from nursing, she had been able to take part in beautiful ceremonies and births like that of her god daughter’s.
“Push, Lupe,” she instructed the young mother. Marnie and her best friend, Dominique, had been helping Dominique’s niece plan every single thing leading up to this day.
It was never a question whether she would be the midwife helping her god daughter’s baby come into the world. Everyone in their neighborhood looked to Marnie for advice on every matter of life, seeking her wisdom through her tarot reading, palmistry, midwifery, and just natural born insight into the spirit world.
Lupe gave one more forceful push, and as Marnie, Dominique, and Lupe’s husband Charles were all reaching out their hands of the birthing pool they were sitting in, Marnie caught the little newborn girl who swam to her. She lifted her out the water and instantly sat her on Lupe’s chest.
“She’s beautiful!” cried Dominique.
Charles went to Lupe’s right side to look upon his daughter for the first time. It was moments like these that made Marnie cherish her work as a doula and healer. Receiving her degree nearly twenty years ago was just a way to find steady work, but it was this, her calling, that brought her so many beautiful memories in her lifetime.
After ensuring Lupe and her family were recovering from an intense birth, and that each was healthy and well advised on what next steps to take at the hospital in the morning with their new bundle of joy, Marnie retreated back to her own home. No sooner than she stepped through the door her cell phone rang. It was Dominique.
“Well, Lupe, Charles, and little baby Aniya seem happy and healthy.” Her voice was kind of sing-song over the phone. “And I, of course, am happy as any auntie can be, but you left seeming not so happy.”
“Yeah, somewhat,” Marnie began. “I am happy I got to bring my god daughter into the world, but seeing them all made me think about what that must be like.”
“What what must be like?” Dominique asked, not quite following. “I know you are not talking about starting a family!”
“No!” insisted Marnie. “I mean, what love must be like.”
At that, Dominique sighed. “Oh my goodness, here we go.”
“What do you mean here we go?” Marnie giggled as she sat down her things next to her couch.
“You deliver a baby or you give a reading to someone or you give a gris-gris or juju to someone for love and then we have this conversation,” Dominique explained. Marnie plopped down on her couch and let out a sigh.
“I know, I know, but,” she lamented,. “I’ve always been able to help others just figure those things out and bring love into their life. Even babies are a symbol of someone who loved someone else for a little while. It’s different when I try to apply those things to myself.”
Dominique sounded slightly frustrated in return on the other end of the phone. “But you never apply those things you know to yourself,” she said.
“Look,” she continued, “tonight, let’s go to Bill Bak up in Ocho Rios. Let’s just go and drink and dance and just let go.” Marnie liked the sound of that, but she disliked how Dominique was glossing over the topic of love as usual. Her friend went on talking.
“You get so wrapped up in romance and fantasies you get to this point you’re at right now, and the first man that so much as blinks in your direction you swear it’s love.”
Marnie didn’t respond because she knew her best friend was telling the truth. On more than one occasion she had found herself longing for love and romance so badly she didn’t see the warning signs that someone may not be the one she believed them to be at the start of the relationship. It was the story of her life for nearly her whole life. Loving too fast, too soon, and it ending with her feeling completely heartbroken again.
“You’re right,” she said into the phone. “So, where are we going, then?”
She could hear Dominique scrolling through her phone, probably searching for night spots they hadn’t been before. They didn’t go out often, but when they did, they liked going to the resort areas. The resort clubs and tourists’ spots offered familiar food and local artists but were often more upscale and better organized than the small town dancehalls speckled across Kingston.
“Oh,” Dominique suddenly shouted. “Bill Bak! It’s in Ocho Rios, about an hour and a half drive, but that’ll give us time to talk and listen to music on the way. How about it?”
With that said, the two women agreed they’d meet up in about an hour and take the trip to the coastal resort city of Ocho Rios. Dominique wanted to see her friend smile her beautiful smile for the right reasons and Marnie wanted an excuse to drink and dance away her singlehood blues. She got up from the couch and proceeded to shower. But, secretly, in the back of her mind, she was wondering what were the odds of her finding Mr. Right rather than Mr. Right Now. Perhaps, this night out would be a chance to weigh those odds.
*****
Days went by. Then, weeks; months, even. A year had nearly passed since Hilary had flown back to the states, to Colorado. Finally, on one of Nathan’s routine stops into the local post office, it came. Nathan stood in the post office looking down at the large, bubble wrap filled safety envelope. His hands began shaking when he saw the law firm’s address at the top; his wife lawyer’s name neatly typed behind the “c/o” portion of the address. He and Hilary had been keeping contact via their respective legal advisors and accountants. It was all negotiations and talk about dividing assets. While the media was eating up his billionaire divorce details, Nathan was dying a little each day waiting for the official document to come. And there it was.
On the drive home, he thought over the past year. He’d been on more than a few dates--at the advice of a bachelor friend-- that all ended the same. It started off with them having similar interests, mutual friends in certain social circles, him spending far more money on wining and dining, then finding out they were the type of women who expected the wining and dining. Treating a woman with respect and admiration was one thing, having the women who knew him simply for his wealth and status and taking advantage of it was another. It was the downside of his newfound bachelorhood. The more dates he went on, the more he wished Hilary had stayed. It wasn’t just her beauty in their youth that made him love her, it was her loyalty. She had been there when he was no one. She made the complicated things simple. Dating in your forties was complicated. Giving up, to Nathan, was simple. Too simple.
Pulling into the driveway of the mansion he still called home, he gave this simplicity approach to dating more thought.
“Just stop looking. It’s that simple,” he said to himself.
Maybe, that was why the divorce was hitting him so hard. Hilary had forced him to start over, and he wasn’t sure how. He sat there, looking around the inside of DB11 Aston Martin, and glanced through the windshield at the sprawling one-level mansion with its perfectly landscaped lawn and guest house. “Trying too hard, Nathan, my boy,” he said to himself. “Trying too damn hard. Go simple.” Even once inside the mansion after parking his car in the garage, he kept this in mind: simplicity. When he and Hilary were younger they were simpler people.
He wasn’t entirely sure what changed him, the money or the prestige. Was it the media coverage after his first billion? What had…changed him? Looking at his tailored suits in the walk-in closet of his master suite, he thumbed through until he found the kitchy-almost tacky-island inspired patterned shirts Hilary had picked out for him. They joked about ditching the designer threads for tourist chic. Nathan found himself smiling a little as his hand rested on a black and white damask floral patterned button-up shirt. It looked like something worn by a Cuban sugar daddy. This thought made Nathan chuckle as he pulled it off the hanger. He found some white slacks, and a pair of black Ferragamo shoes he wore when he had to walk comfortably about his company’s headquarters. His mind was made up.
Rather than go out to the ritzier places of the usually rich, famous, and overly dressed masses at the coast front, he’d go to one of his favorite local spots in Ocho Rios tonight. Bill Bak had great music, great food, and just a fun atmosphere. Typically, he’d take business acquaintances who were visiting the area from abroad looking for a prime real estate or were thinking of investing in some of the resorts. It was a casual place he’d share with them to show the local flare for food and dance and have a few drinks. But tonight, he wanted to go and let loose, just have a drink, hear some good Soca or Reggae, and maybe meet a new friend. Yes, a friend. Companionship. He had, unintentionally, been flashing his influence with his car, his clothes, his fame, and getting nowhere. It was time to just ease the pressure off of finding someone to replace the hole in his heart that Hilary was leaving behind, and find someone who could help him heal a little at a time. After a quick shower and getting dressed, he called for a cab and set his mind to having a good night out, and nothing more.
*****
The drive to Ocho Rios was long but worth it. Marnie and Dominique sang along to their favorite songs, talked endlessly, and also had a heart-to-heart talk about love, especially. Dominique and Marnie had met in nursing school, but Dominique stuck to being a nurse even long after Marnie left the profession. Dominique loved what she did for a living, but her schedule often meant her and Marnie didn’t get much time to just kick back and laugh like they used to while attending college when they were younger. They had to schedule it around holidays or just pop up at each other’s homes out the blue.
By the time they reached Ocho Rios, they were laughing and smiling. Marnie now was grateful she had someone like Dominique in her life to remind her it didn’t always have to be so serious. Once they found their destination, they had to park a few blocks away and walk back up to Bill Bak. Before even reaching the club, notorious for its great live music and food, Dominique was giving Marnie a night-out pep talk.
“Now, Marnie, do not go in here being too much of yourself,” Dominique said teasingly.
“What do you mean ‘too much’ of myself?” Marnie giggled.
“You know exactly what I mean. Yeah, you can dance, but don’t be trying to hook you a man with your booty and your red lips and your grinning and..”.
Before she could finish, Marnie elbowed her and they both burst into raucous chuckles. Marnie had always been curvy, and her favorite lipstick color was a bright orange-ish red that complimented her almond brown skin.
She made sure to wear that signature color on her pout tonight, with a matching strappy dress and black lace-up Spartan sandals. Her hair in large, black Bantu braids that flowed down her back added to her standout look, and she knew how to dress to turn more than a few heads.
“You’re just jealous because I always do hook someone,” Marnie said confidently.
Dominique rolled her eyes. “Mmmhmm, but that’s my point! Tonight is about you having fun, not having that kind of ‘fun,’ ok?”
The two found themselves at Bill Bak’s entrance and entered, being enveloped in the smell of cigars and wrapped in the smooth winding sounds of reggae. As soon as they entered, they were lucky enough to find a cozy booth, and a waitress came straight over to get their drink order.
Marnie ordered her usual, as did Dominique. When their drinks arrived, they clinked their glasses. “To a good night, with good friends, and good fun,” said Marnie.
*****
Nathan sat at the bar, listening to the live band play a cover a familiar song by the artist Rihanna. He sipped on his bourbon and coke, taking in the atmosphere. The air was dank, the music danceable, the crowd was a mix of every race, every lifestyle, and kind of person. It was in places like these that Nathan sometimes enjoyed when he wanted to get away from the book balancing, the pomp, and circumstance, all the hoopla of wealth. No one judged anyone in the dives and dancehalls.
He had many a young Jamaican woman try to coax him to dance with them, but he declined. Besides feeling more than a little bashful, he always insisted he had two left feet that could barely even two step. The same was still true tonight, as he watched people of all ages just enjoy dancing and singing along to the band. He was content staying glued to his barstool, drink in hand, and with no intentions of joining in the fun.
Marnie had downed her drink faster than she realized and was ready for another. She leaned over to Dominique. “I’m heading to the bar,” she told her, and stood to slide out the booth.
“Alright, come back though because I have to use the restroom. No dance breaks in between here and there, ma’am,” Dominique responded, jokingly poking her friend in the side.
Marnie smiled and made her way through the crowd. In minutes, she reached the bar with her drink glass in hand.
“Bartender, a blackbird, please.” She was practically oblivious to the man to her left, who had now turned around in his stool toward the bar. He looked to her, then her empty glass.
“A blackbird?” he asked. She turned to face him, and for a moment their eyes locked. He was certainly a good looking man for any woman’s eyes to admire; salt and pepper short cut hair, obviously over forty years old but wearing his age well. He could’ve been a George Clooney look alike if it weren’t for the tourist clothes and olive green eyes. His look was overall unassuming and casual, but his striking features were in complete contrast. Her words came out slow and soft.
“Yeah. It’s my favorite. I get it every time. Bourbon, cream, egg white shaken. You should try it.”
“I just might,” Nathan said, sipping his from his own glass.
The bartender quickly made her another drink, she grabbed it and quickly made her way back to the other side of the club, but not without looking back over her shoulder at the handsome stranger with a wink.
Once back in her seat, she was all aglow and Dominique quickly took notice. “I saw that,” she said to her friend as she sat back down.
“What,” exclaimed Marnie. She bit her lip to hold in a laugh, then burst into laughter and laid over in the booth.
“I know what you’re thinking, and you need to not even go there,” scorned her friend. “Making googly eyes, and swishing your hips. I’m going to the restroom, and you better be here when I get back,” Dominique warned, playfully smacking Marnie on her right hip.
The smack made Marnie sit back upright, but didn’t stop her from laughing. “Yes, ma’am. I will try to play nice and I’ll be here when you get back,” she chuckled.
Dominique stood and made her way along one of the walls to get to the restroom. After she was out of sight, Marnie’s gaze returned to the man at the bar in the black and white shirt. To her surprise, his eyes were on her, but he quickly looked away as if he was embarrassed she caught him looking at all. This made Marnie all the more curious and slightly excited. Flirting was one of her favorite pastimes, and she wasn’t ever going to turn down an opportunity to turn up the heat on a new target. She took a large sip of her drink, then slid out the booth to make her way back toward the bar.
Halfway through the crowd, the live band started their second selection. It was a dancehall favorite, “Wine Girl.” The audience let out a cheer and the whole club’s mood shifted from up-tempo to sultry and sexy in an instant. A huge grin played across Marnie's face as this change in mood was perfect timing. She reached the bar and found the space next to her swarthy target was still available.
He looked at her and gave a warm smile, then looked down at his drink. Marnie couldn’t help but find his coyness cute and even felt it made him even more attractive.
“Do you dance?” she asked. Nathan was hoping that was the last thing she was coming over there for, but part of him was glad she came back over at all.
“I do,” he replied, “just not very well.” He let out some nervous laughter, and looking at her, he was glad to see his joke at his own bad dancing made her laugh too.
“Aww, c’mon. I’m not like these young girls. I like it slow,” she said flirtatiously.
If nothing else got his attention, that certainly did. Nathan felt sweat break across his brow and more nervous laughter. “We are talking about dancing, right,” he said bashfully.
This made Marnie let out a string of short giggles. “Yes! Just dancing,” she said, now touching his right arm. Her hand gently slid down his arm to his hand, and Nathan found himself sliding out of his barstool as if under a spell. He kept his eyes on her. Easy boy, he thought to himself, it’s just a dance. One dance.
He and his soon-to-be ex-wife hadn’t been dancing in years so the dance floor became more and more like a place that just wasn’t meant for Nathan. But tonight, he was being led through this dimly lit, smoky club by a woman who was undeniably sexy, around his age from what he could tell, and for some reason he felt like he just might have the moves she was looking for.
On the dance floor, he found himself face to face with this exotic stranger who had somehow got him out his seat and convinced him to dance. He noticed quickly that she definitely wasn’t shy. Moving in close almost immediately, and nearly toe-to-toe, she gracefully swayed her hips to the rhythm. Reaching for his right hand, she placed it confidently on her left hip while her right arm rested on his left shoulder. They moved in time with the beat of the song, and Nathan found himself amazed at how easy she made it seem.
Was it the drinks that made him loosen up? It could have been the sleazy, seductive lyrics of the song. He wasn’t sure what it was and found he cared less and less what the reason was the closer they stood to each other. She looked up at him with a sly, sexy half-grin, her deep brown eyes watching his. He found himself smiling again. He liked the feeling, to smile so naturally with someone. He hadn’t done that in a long time. This was what he came out for: to cut loose, let go. Smile.
Marnie turned her back to him in a slow winding motion in her hips, and guided both his hands to her sides. Keeping perfect time with her rhythm as he rocked his own hips from side to side, he felt her continue to wind her hips in large circles closer and closer. The movement was sensual and sexual. The intentional tease and friction of her backside brushing across his manhood was a type of dancing he’d never experienced. It instantly brought sex to his mind, when he didn’t intend for his thoughts to wander there. He felt a bit excited and Marnie definitely noticed. She leaned in a way that allowed his lips to be just at her left ear. He inhaled the sweet smell of her perfume along her neck and felt himself slipping more and more into the moment.
By the time the song ended and the band began a cover of a slower Bob Marley tune, Nathan’s senses were on fire. The smell of her, the feel of her hips against him in smooth wide circles. If she was, in fact, aiming to seduce him, she did it beautifully.
Marnie had turned around expecting to see the lust in her dance partner’s eyes. Instead, she turned to see his eyes staring right down into her own. He was looking at her in a way she couldn’t quite place. He gently wrapped his hands around her waist. In any other instance, she would have pulled away after she was through having her fun with someone on the dance floor, but this was different. She didn’t want to pull away. She didn’t even want to blink. Their eyes watched each other as they begin to slowly sway to this slower song. Marnie let her hands rest on his arms, his hands still on her lower back. She looked to his lips, his whole face. She wanted to remember it, in case she never saw him again after tonight.
“What’s your name?” he asked her suddenly.
“Marnie,” she said with a grin.
This was a big change from her usual dance and romance. He was looking at her, not through her. He wasn’t rushing to get her another drink so he could rush and get her to the nearest hotel. This was different.
“What’s your name?” she asked in return.
“Nathan,” he responded. Their smiles grew bigger and Marnie found her arms around his neck now.
Their sweet slow dance was cut short, however, when Marnie felt someone suddenly standing to their left. It was Dominique. Marnie’s eyes grew big as she stifled a laugh and quickly introduced her friend to Nathan.
“Hi Dominique,” she began, “this is Nathan. Nathan, this is my best friend Dominique.” He looked to Dominique with a grin, and his hands quickly went from Marnie’s waist to his pockets.
“Hi,” he said with a coy smile. At a closer look, Dominique could see why Marnie was hunting him down across the club. He was definitely good looking, but the look on her face made it clear that was no excuse for Marnie ditching her.
“So, are we having drinks or are you two still…getting a bit more familiar?” Dominique asked, her hands placed on her hips.
Those words made Nathan blush a little and Marnie let out her signature giggles. Marnie took Nathan’s hand and led him back to their booth.
The three of them sat and ordered more drinks, discussed why Nathan was in Jamaica, and how he was liking it so far. Nathan made it a point to not go into details about his wealth or being well known, and his two new friends didn’t seem to recognize him from the news or media. He hoped to keep it that way, at least until the time was right to bring it up.
“So, you’re out to forget your woes in love, much like myself. Well, I say let’s drink to that.” Marnie raised her glass, as did Nathan. They each took a sip and sat down their glasses.
“And on that note, I think our night of fun needs to come to a slow crawl back to Kingston,” stated Dominique. “Thus the reason I am not also toasting because someone has to drive.”
“Well, how far are you going? I can get you a cab,” Nathan offered.
“Oh, we live a good ways away, in Kingston,” Marnie chimed in. “It’s nearly two hours from here.”
Nathan felt a twinge of disappointment. As much as he wanted to keep things friendly and casual, part of him truly wanted to see Marnie again. Even if it wasn’t to dance, she definitely was someone he’d enjoy talking with more. Her warm and fun spirit equally matched her sex appeal, and Nathan was thankful for more than just the teasing and flirting.
“Well, let’s exchange numbers and the next time you’re in town maybe we can have lunch.”
He even surprised himself when he heard himself say this. He normally wasn’t so forward or bold, but he might not get a chance to see her again if he didn’t say something. The smile on Marnie’s face said it all. She quickly reached in her pocketbook and found a pen and small piece of paper. Dominique raised an eyebrow at her best friend’s eagerness to exchange numbers so quickly, while Marnie and Nathan giddily jotted down their information for one another. Soon after, the three of them stood, and Nathan walked them to the exit.
Outside the night air was cool in comparison to the dark, musky night club. Nathan called a cab as he walked the two women the several blocks down to where they had parked. Dominique got into the driver’s side, and Marnie stood at the passenger side. She turned to face Nathan as he stood there with his hands in pockets.
“It was really good to meet you tonight, Marnie, and I hope the next time you’re in town we can meet up again.”
“Well, Nathan, if we were in my neck of the woods I’d be inviting you over for coffee tonight,” she said slyly.
Nathan was completely oblivious to her suggestive words, but at this point had excepted it was just a part of her character. She was sexy, and more than entitled to flaunt it as far as he was concerned. “Indeed,” was his only reply. He opened the passenger side door of Dominique’s Mazda, and she slowly sat down.
“Good night, Nathan,” she said.
“Good night, Marnie,” Nathan said warmly, carefully closing the passenger door.
As the two women pulled the vehicle off into traffic, he waved, and stood there in amazement. This night had not only given him a perfect opportunity to dash off the worries about his imminent divorce but even garnered him a new friend. Just from talking to Marnie, he felt she was someone he could confide in about a lot of things. He placed his hands back in his pockets and felt the paper with her number written on it securely in the bottom of the right pocket. He was going to make it a point to hold on to that paper for a long time.