Chapter 6
It was two days after their night together. Nathan was on cloud nine. He honestly surprised himself with Marnie. He had spent so many years even in his marriage just holding back everything. Especially when Hilary started showing aggravation over his ideas concerning new business ventures or projects he found himself shutting down and shutting her out. He never realized how much that was taking place in the bedroom as well until he slept with Marnie.
When he arrived back in Ocho Rios, he didn’t feel the same way he did when he had returned times before. Stepping back into his villa, the air felt foreign. It wasn’y so much that it felt unfamiliar but that he was sensing it differently.
The air wasn’t comforting. The colors of all the high-priced furniture seemed dull. Even the sounds his shoes made as he made his way across the marble floor seemed to die out and fade.
For the first time, he had an understanding of what Hilary must have felt. No amount of prestige or wealth can fill a home with love. For all its grandeur, his home by the sea now felt lackluster in comparison to Marnie’s home and even to the hotel suite, they shared a few nights ago. Love was missing. The warmth was missing. And it had all been missing long before Hilary left him.
Nathan assessed his thoughts for how to fix what should have never been broken in his life and in his home. Sitting in his office, he listlessly answered emails, responded to inquiries about when he was returning stateside to meet with important investors; he did the everyday things his business choices had afforded to him do remotely. But all the while he was brainstorming ways to somehow incorporate more of what he felt with Marnie into his life.
Then, it hit him. Everywhere he felt the glow of affection and connection Marnie was there.
Even when they first met, he felt her at his side at the bar before he turned to see who was standing there. He wondered how she would feel if he asked her to move in with him. His own inner conflict was this would involve bringing her into the same lifestyle that drove his ex-wife away and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk it. But was Marnie like Hilary?
The past two days he had noticed a bit of change in Marnie as would they would speak on the phone. He noticed she seemed in her own head again. This had always been a reoccurring pattern with her, but after their night in bed together, he was hoping that it would go away.
He began pulling up pictures he had on his computer of the two of them together. Everything about it just seemed right the more he looked at their smiling faces pressed cheek to cheek, them holding hands as they shopped, or stealing a kiss that the paparazzi was more than eager to capture on film. That’s the one thing he could thank the media for. Through their eyes he was able to see what everyone else sees when they’re together, and what he was seeing was their happiness. Their love.
*****
It was not an easy thing for Marnie to do. She had grappled with it for days now. How could she tell Nathan she felt maybe they needed to slow down? She sat on the floor in her living room meditating to try and clear her thoughts. All she wanted was to fix the muddled up emotions swarming about in her head. Granted, those walls she had placed between her and love were utterly gone, but it opened her up to see so many things she had been ignoring.
One would think she was over the moon to finally have the Universe show her what true love feels like, especially seeing how she had been praying for it for what seemed like her whole life. Instead, she was afraid. Horrified. The night she and Nathan shared was bliss, but also too good to be true. Overwhelming. No one had ever made her feel that way, ever. Far beyond making her heart skip a beat. Miles beyond giving her an amazing orgasm. No one had done for her what Nathan had and that was to let her just be herself.
She had been sitting there in her meditative pose for nearly thirty minutes trying to rationalize her fears when her phone rang.
She let out an aggravated grunt and got to her feet to go answer it. As soon as she picked it up off the kitchen counter, she saw Dominique’s name and her intuition kicked in. She knew her best friend was calling to tell her to snap out of it; to finally let go. But she couldn’t.
For the first time in years, Marnie did something she hadn’t done to Dominique since college—not answer. She sat the phone back down on the kitchen counter and went back to place on the floor she had been sitting.
When her phone stopped ringing, Marnie closed her eyes back and proceeded in what she felt was a useless task at this point.
About an hour later, there came a knock at the door and Marnie asked who it was.
“You know exactly who this is,” called Dominique.
Marnie let her chin drop to her chest, then she rolled her eyes to the ceiling as she whispered, Oh shit. Rolling up onto all fours to standing, she walked over and opened the door.
Dominique stood there, hands on hips and a frown plastered on her face. “What is wrong with you,” she demanded.
“I don’t know, Dominique.” She wasn’t quite ready to have this conversation with her friend or anyone until she made sense of it herself. But here Dominique was walking into her house and shutting the front door behind her.
“I have been feeling a funk coming from you without even looking at you or being in the same room with you for days now ever since your date with Nathan.”
Marnie remained silent.
Dominique's hands went from her hips to her crossing her arms. “So, what happened?’
She realized Dominique wasn’t leaving until she gave her some kind of answer. It’s one of the things she both loved and hated about their years of friendship. She sat down on the couch and took a quick sip from her water bottle on the coffee table.
“Our date was perfect,” Marnie sighed. “It was like a dream; everything I always wanted but never thought I’d have with anyone.”
She could almost sense Dominique’s facial expression suddenly go from frustrated to utter confusion. “Ok,” she said, urging Marnie to continue.
“But that’s what scares me so bad. It wasn’t just the beautiful hotel suite or the fancy food. Those things really weren’t what has me a little weary of going further with Nathan.”
Marnie took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. It was one thing to keep all those fears in her head. Hearing own voice speak them aloud was a whole other thing entirely.
“I’m so scared because I never saw him coming, Dominique.” She finally looked over at her friend whose face was more concerned than confused or angry. Dominique made her way to the couch and ushered Marnie to scoot over so she could sit.
“Marnie,” she said. “I know that’s scary. I’ve only been there once in my life, and I regret I didn’t keep going down that road that could have meant everything later on.” She chuckled a little. “Do you remember Riley?”
Riley Cook. Marnie hadn’t heard that name since right after she and Dominique graduated from high school. She instantly burst into laughter, leaning back on the couch and giving Dominique a stunned smile. “Riley!?”
“Yes,” Dominique muttered. “Riley.”
“You two were so cuuuuuuute,” Marnie teased.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when I told you he had broken up with me right after graduation, but I said I didn’t know why?”
“Yeah.” Marnie waited for the shock and awe that was sure to come from the treasured memory of her friend’s first love lost in the past.
“Truth is…” Dominique took a long pause. “He asked me to marry him. And I said no.”
Marnie sat up and looked at Dominique as if she had misheard her. “He asked you to marry him?” Even hearing it come out her own mouth didn’t make it any more believable. She remembered actually being a little jealous of Dominique and Riley’s relationship because he always catered to whatever she wanted and doted on her to everyone.
Despite her envy, she would have been overjoyed to see the two of them walk down the aisle together.
Dominique looked down at the floor just in front of the coffee table . “Yep. I said no because I knew I wanted to go to college and he was already working. He didn’t want to further his education.”
Marnie rested her hand on her friend’s arm as she went on talking.
“See, he felt like it wasn’t about me going to college. He supported that fully. But he felt like it was because I didn’t really want to be with him anymore.”
“But that’s crazy,” exclaimed Marnie. “You adored Riley! That night you came crying to me I really just figured maybe he called your relationship off because you were going to college!”
Dominique shook her head, then looked Marnie in the eyes. “I was afraid. I was afraid that I’d end up going to the university and meeting someone else. I thought to myself I didn’t want to break his heart if I got there and wasn’t on my best behavior.”
Marnie thought back to their partying days in college. She remembered after Dominique’s break up, she watched her more well-mannered shy friend come out her shell. She was dating frequently and definitely having as much sex and more than even Marnie was.
She really just figured it was Dominique’s way of coping with the end of a high school relationship. Looking back now, she had to wonder did Dominique do Riley a favor because she already planned on going wild in college, or was that just a result of the sudden end of their relationship?
“Dominique, I’m so sorry.”
They hugged, and Dominique wiped away a small tear that had sprang forth. “Nah. It’s the reason I was so happy when I found out he got married about five years back, remember?”
Marnie most certainly remembered. Everyone in their neighborhood talked about how beautiful the wedding was and plastered pictures all over Facebook. She wondered how Dominique was taking that so well when even she felt like she wished it was her day at the altar. The pictures were stunning and Riley definitely found himself a nice enough looking woman.
Now, it even became more clear to Marnie a few years back Dominique stopped going out as frequently and started giving Marnie a hard time about being so quick to jump in bed and fall in love every couple of months.
“Look,” Dominique continued. “I want to see you happy. And since meeting Nathan, you have been every kind of happy. You have been more than happy.”
Marnie had to smile big at that. There was no denying that fact, and now after speaking to Dominique, she had a bit more clarity as to why she was so afraid. It wasn’t so much all the amazing things that Nathan had done since they met. It was that she had never felt true happiness alongside anyone outside of her own friendship with Dominique.
“You know, I really am glad I didn’t answer the phone earlier because we wouldn’t be sitting here right now having this talk this way,” Marnie admitted. She laid her hand on her friends and gave her a warm grin. “Thank you, Dominique…again.”
“Anytime, sweetie. Always,” Dominique said, throwing an arm around Marnie’s neck to give her one more hug.
They both sighed, and then Dominique quickly perked up. “So, what are you going to do concerning Nathan now?”
“I don’t know,” said Marnie. “I keep getting this feeling he’s far deeper into what we are than I am, even though I can now admit I’ve fallen for him so much.”
“Well, it sounds to me like you two really need to have a talk.”
No sooner than Dominique spoke these words, Marnie’s phone rang. They both turned and looked toward the kitchen. Marnie quickly got up to go answer, only to return to the living room practically in a run and tossing the phone to Dominique.
“It’s him,” she shouted. “Oh God, Dominique! I’m not ready! You answer it.”
“And say what?” Dominique asked, wide eyed.
“Anything,” Marnie insisted.
Flustered but willing to help, Dominique answered the phone. “Hey, Nathan. This is Dominique.”
Marnie watched her friend’s face. She knew she needed to have the talk they just mentioned with Nathan, but she wasn’t fully ready in her gut to get to it. Not yet. She would rather do it face-to-face if she had to do it at all. She listened closely to see if she could hear what Nathan was saying on the other end.
Dominique quickly began explaining. “No, Marnie is fine. She’s in her room taking a nap. I think she tired herself out exercising earlier.”
Nathan’s voice sounded like nothing but mumbles to Marnie’s ears. She wanted to lean down to see if she could hear better with her head pressed against Dominique’s, but part of her was too afraid to do even that. Her right hand quickly went to her forehead as she stood there listening tentatively to a one-sided conversation.
“Oh. You’re glad I answered. Ok,” said Dominique, looking confused as ever.
There was a bunch of carefully spaced mumbles and gibberish coming from the other end of the phone.
“Ok, I have to run back to the house so I can’t really talk right now, but I will let Marnie know you called.”
More mumbles.
“Alright. Talk to you later.” With that said, Dominique hung up the phone and handed it back to Marnie who was still standing beside the couch looking nervous and frantic.
“What’d he say?” she asked.
“He said he was glad I answered because he has been really concerned about you and didn’t know who else to talk to.”
“Oh,” was all Marnie could say. This made her feel even worse than she already did. She didn’t want him to worry. Not anymore.
She just needed time to get her words and mind together before confessing to him how she truly felt. She wanted to tell him how he had brought more happiness to her life than anyone, even Dominique.
Before leaving, Dominique gave Marnie one last hug and told her she would be back a few days or maybe Marnie could even stop by. She gave her word that the next time Nathan called, she would speak her mind as well as her heart. She would tell she hoped it was love she was feeling and hoped he felt it too.