Chapter 4

Love is the feeling you get when you like something as much as your motorcycle.

-Truth

Ember

One week later

I awoke to lips and a prickly beard running up the inside of my thigh.  I was on my stomach on the bed.  Somehow, I was naked, even though I specifically remembered putting underwear and one of Gabe’s t-shirts on.  I didn’t sleep naked.  I felt like if there was an emergency in the middle of the night, I damn sure would have a clean pair of underwear and something covering my boobies.

 

Speaking of covering my boobies, hands slid in between the bed and my breasts.  Massaging and kneading them, plucking at my nipples.  He ground his erection into my ass, mimicking thrusting.  I buried my head into the pillow and groaned.  My god, we’d been going at it like bunnies for a freakin’ week, and I still want him just as much, if not more, than I did the first time.

 

 “Wake up, meu anjinho.  You have to be at work in an hour, and I have plans for you before you go.”  He said gruffly.

 

I pushed my butt up against him, and he groaned in pleasure.  Taking my hips in his rough grip, he pulled me until I was on my knees, face still in the mattress.  We always seemed to end up in this position for some reason, I liked it deep and rough, and this way made it to where Gabe could take me roughly.  It was also the way I slept.  Therefore, when Gabe woke me in the morning, it was how I was situated when he started.  We did this two to three times a day, and we both knew what positions worked the best for us.

 

Gabe was everything I could ever want and more.  He knew how to work his rock hard body.  He also knew how to work mine.  I’ve had two other sexual partners, and neither one could hold a candle to how hot he made me. 

 

His cock abruptly slammed into me from behind.  A squeak emerged from my throat at the suddenness, but that didn’t deter him.  He pounded his cock into me, but pulled out a minute or so later, flipping me over to my back, but being ever so careful with my wound. Lifting my right leg over his shoulder, he positioned himself at my entrance again, sliding home with one smooth slick thrust.  My leg was plastered against his rock hard abs and chest.  His dog tags swung with each thrust of his body, making clinking sounds, like music setting the tempo for our lovemaking.

 

He leaned down, took one of my nipples between his lips and sucked hard.  My body arched off the bed, trying to get closer to his mouth.  My leg was wedged between both of our bodies, and Gabe’s cock was bottoming out inside of me.  He released my nipple from the suction of his lips with an audible pop, and leaned back so he could watch his cock enter my wet heat.  He reached his hand down and rubbed my entrance, while his cock was sliding in and out.  He let the tip of his finger slip into me, and the added fullness set me off like a rocket. 

 

He gave a few more hammering thrusts and then came himself, shooting into me in hot thick pulses.  He stayed inside me while we caught our breath.  He slowly shrunk inside me, pulling out, reluctantly, a few minutes later; his come slid out of me and onto the sheets.  He watched as it trailed down my lips, past my anus, and pooled underneath my butt on the sheets.  Reaching down, he used the side of his index finger, gathered some of our combined wetness, and rubbed it back up until he reached my clit.  I jumped from the sensitivity and moaned because, surprisingly, it still felt unbelievable.  Normally, I was too sensitive but he knew just how to work me.

 

He continued to rub and flick until I had a second orgasm, arching my spine and throwing my head back.  Dropping my leg to his side, he leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. 

 

“Mmmm.  Now that’s how I like to start my morning.”  He said, kissing me softly before heading into the bathroom.

 

The shower turned on a few seconds later.  I glanced at the clock realizing that I had a little over forty-five minutes until I needed to be at work.  Hmmmm.  I decided to rest my eyes for just a few seconds more.

 

I woke up for real the second time, with a hand clamped around my ankle with an unbreakable hold, dragging me down the bed.  Asshole.  I only wanted fifteen more minutes.

 

“I’m up!”  I screamed into my pillow, which I’d managed to hold onto through my rough treatment.

 

“We need to leave in ten.  You need to get your ass in gear.  I’ve got a ton of shit to get done today, and I need to drop you off on my way; let’s get going.”  Gabe stated, while giving my ass a smack and leaving the room.

 

Heaving an exasperated sigh, I rolled out of bed, and took a quick shower.  I threw my hair up into my usual messy bun, swiped on some mascara and deodorant, and then went in search of clothes.  Finding some clean ones at the end of the bed, I pulled on a pair of fold-over capri yoga pants, an ancient shirt from my junior year volleyball team, and my hot pink tennis shoes.  Perfect. 

 

Being an athletic trainer really worked well for my style of dress.  I wasn’t expected to dress up, and tennis shoes were a required accessory when you needed to get places in a hurry. 

 

When I was in high school, I was at a volleyball summer camp, prior to my senior year, when I tore my ACL.  It was a horrific experience.  I still remember trying to put weight on my bad leg and walk off the court when the top of my leg went one way and the bottom went another.  After about six months of recovery and therapy, I found my calling.  It also didn’t hurt that I could wear what I wanted to.  With the help of the trainer from my high school, I started down a path that found me where I was today.  I graduated from a local Baptist college, ETBU, four years after I graduated high school.  Then I found my dream job in the town that I grew up, and close to my only family, Max.  Now Gabe was here too, and that made my life all the better.

 

There was that bothersome gang putting a damper on things, but I knew that Gabe and Max would figure this out.  As long as I was safe and did what I was told, I knew that I would be okay.

 

Rushing out of the room, Gabe was nowhere to be found.  Assuming he was outside, I grabbed my bag and phone and ran out the door.  There he was, on his death machine.  Today, he was wearing dark washed jeans with a red plain cotton t-shirt.  Ray-Bans covered his eyes, his black hair was pulled back with a bandana, and he was just reaching for my helmet when he spotted me.  He grinned broadly and patted the bitch seat behind him.  Smiling inwardly with glee at his beautiful smile, I dashed towards the motorcycle and hopped on the back, wrapping my arms around him tightly. 

 

“Ready!”  I cried excitedly.

 

I loved that bike; it makes my day when I get to ride on the back of it.  The ride was so free and exhilarating.  I loved how my hair became a tangled mess around my face.  I loved the way my stomach would turn and flip when we went around a tight curve.  I also loved when Gabe revved the motor it would make my whole body feel like I touched a live wire.  Gabe loved to do that.  He thought it was hilarious that I would squeal in excitement.

 

We were just about to take off when I saw Max come out of his place and turn to walk towards his bike.  I tapped Gabe on the shoulder and got off sprinting in the direction of Max.  When I got close enough, I launched myself onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.  Max started to flip me off his back almost instantaneously, but I held strong, clinging like a monkey and started giving him big smacking kisses on his cheek.  I made sure to put extra drool into them for good effect.

   

“You’re such a fucking weirdo.  I swear I don’t know how we’re related.”  Max said shaking his head in exasperation.

 

Laughing lightly, I dropped my legs and arms and took off running towards Gabe.  He had his head back laughing when he noticed Max wiping the slobber off his cheek.  Taking in his expression made my heart feel light.  It wasn’t often that I got to see him smiling and carefree.  He was always in such a dark mood, and it made me wonder about his past and secrets.  I knew he would tell me in time, but, for now, it still bugged the crap out of me not to know.

 

“He’s gonna repay you one of these days, and don’t come hide behind me when he does.  I don’t want my ass kicked, please.”  Gabe said to me.

 

He handed my helmet back to me, then gunned the engine, taking off into the early morning air.

 

We arrived at the campus in record time.  He pulled right up to the back doors of the gym, and got off.  He pulled his helmet off, hooked it on the handle, and then extended his hand to me.  Grabbing it, I climbed off and did the same with my helmet.  There were a few students milling around, and they’d all stopped and stared at Gabe.  The girls were all glassy eyed, while the boys were all looking at him with envious eyes.  Guess riding a motorcycle made you popular with the jocks. 

 

Gabe was oblivious to the stares.  He was taking in the new security system, walking around watching, while the cameras moved to different angles every thirty seconds.  Grabbing my hand, he walked with me up to the gym door that now had a scanner you needed to use to get in.  He held out his hand and I gave him my lanyard, which had my school ID attached to it.  He slid my card and the little light beside the panel glowed green.  The door clicked open and we went inside.

 

“My office is –“ I started to say when he interrupted me,

 

“I know where your office is, Em.  I was the one who installed a lot of the security.  There’s a camera in your office, by the way, so don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.  On the other hand, if you do want to do something like that, let me know so I can pull up the feed.  I have this all hooked into my phone; it’s also fed back to the compound.”  Gabe said as we arrived at my office door.

 

He used a code to get me into the door and closed it behind us.  Surveying the office with critical eyes, he walked up to the window and peered out.  Then walked back to the desk and pulled the desk drawer open. 

 

“Your panic button is right here.  If you even think you need to use this, use it.  If you have a feeling that something is wrong, then use it.  It’ll notify all of us, but it also sends a direct phone call to the KPD.  Remember what we talked about last night.  You do not, under any circumstance, go outside.  You stay in your office or the training room.  Don’t wander around.  There’re plenty of students around here who would give a left nut to do something for you.  Use the button.  Call me if you need anything.  I’ll be back around four to pick you up.”  He said quickly before kissing me.

 

Shit. 

 

The day started on a good note, but by the end of it my head was pounding, my back was aching, and I was in a foul mood.  I still had two hours to go when I decided to stop for the day.  I was tired of whiny kids not doing what they were told.  They treated this as a teen hangout, and that was not what this place was.  This was a place for healing and relaxing.  One certain jock wasn’t taking the hint, and I finally called campus security remove him.  Closing and locking the doors of the training room, I made my way slowly back to the office. 

 

Pulling out my phone, I started to text Gabe for a ride, when I bumped into something solid.  Looking up I spotted one of my favorite students.  I started to smile at him when I noticed the deep regret in his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong, Kale?”  I asked him.

 

Kale was of Native American descent.  He had coal black eyes, long black hair, and a wiry lean body.  He would be gorgeous in another couple of years. 

 

Kale took so long to answer that I started worrying that something was really wrong.  Now he was looking down at his feet.  Reaching my hand out, I grabbed his hand and gave a small tug. 

 

“Kale?”  I asked again.

 

His look told me he was agonized about something.  Finally, he seemed to come to a decision, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a white envelope and handed it to me.  He pulled out a blue bandana and walked away.  What.The.Fuck?  Opening the letter, I read it and then re-read it again.

 

Ember,

I know you trust me, and I wish I could’ve been worthy of that trust.  I’m the one who told the Blue Skulls about you.  I didn’t know what else to do.  They have my little brother; he’s only ten.  Last week they made him beat an old lady.  I can’t get him out without getting back in myself.  I never would’ve believed when I left them that they would recruit him.  I got to get him out.  I’m gonna watch out for you as best I can.  I’ll give you information when it’s safe.  Forgive me.

Kale

 

My breathing turned sporadic, and tears stung my eyes.  That poor kid.  Poor baby.  Oh god.  Reaching for my phone, I whipped it out and dialed Gabe’s phone number.  It rang three times before he picked up.

 

“I’m outside, come to me.”  Gabe answered, before hanging up.

 

Hands shaking, I made my way outside; the sun blinded me as I pushed the door open.  Gabe was there straddling his bike, but was quickly by my side as soon as he registered the look on my face.  Gabe’s hands went around me, and I buried my face into the muscles of his chest.  His dog tags dug into my forehead, but the pain wasn’t registering.  I was numb. 

 

“What happened?” he asked.

 

“Kale sold me out!”  I cried.

 

Taking my head in his hands, he pulled my face out of his chest and wiped my tears with his thumbs.

 

“One more time.”  He said.

 

“Kale, my most beautiful and promising student, joined that gang.  And he sold me out!”  I said handing him the note.

 

He took the note out of my hand, and scanned it.  He reread it and then folded the note up, shoving it in his back pocket.

 

“This could be a good thing, Ember.  I know you don’t like that he did that to you, and I sure as fuck don’t like it either, but we could use this to our advantage.  We can get some information next time I corner him.  He could’ve kept this from us; I think he wants to help, because if this got back to the Skulls, he would be dead.  It wouldn’t be a nice death, either.  These gangs are crazy as fuck.”  He said to me gently.

 

“I know.  I just can’t believe that he was who started this for me.  I brought him food, I gave him rides home, and I picked up his brother and him when their car broke down.  I even took his little brother to his pediatric appointment when he broke his arm!”  I said.

 

“We’ll figure this out, bebê.”  He whispered into my hair.

 

When he said things like that to me, in Portuguese, it made me all tingly inside.  My heart lightened a little from its heavy feel.  Gabe made me feel things, things that I haven’t felt since I was a teenager, when my parents died.

 

“You make me feel alive and whole again; I haven’t been right since my parents died.  I feel like I’m slowly getting back to my old self.  I can put on a good front, smile and act happy, but it’s been a long time since I have truly felt happy.  I know we’re in a shitty situation, but you being here makes it all okay.”  I whispered to him, while burying my face into his neck.

 

“I want you to tell me more, but not until we get you home.  Being out here in the open makes me twitchy.”  Gabe explained.

 

He grabbed my hand and hauled me over to his bike.  The ride took no time at all.  As soon as we made it through the front door, I made a beeline for the fridge and grabbed us both a beer.  If I was going to spill my guts, I needed some liquid courage.  Handing him his beer, once I was back in the living room, I plopped down into the Lazy Boy that sat directly across the fireplace, where Gabe was leaning with one arm up on the mantle.

 

‘Okay, here goes nothin’ I think to myself.  I hadn’t spoken about this to anyone since the week after it happened.  I’d spilled my guts to Cheyenne, and we never spoke of it again.

 

“It’s been a little over nine years now, and, at twenty five, it feels just as raw now as it did then.  I can still remember when Max came to get me from school to tell me.  It was during lunch, I was sitting at my usual table with Cheyenne, and our closest friends.  We were having a great time laughing and playing around when I glanced up and saw Max there, dressed in his fatigues, wearing a grim expression.  The lunchroom had gone quiet, and all eyes watched as Max scanned the lunchroom for me.  My stomach had fallen to my knees, and I stood up slowly.  Max found me then, and started walking towards me.”

 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and then started again.

 

“I hadn’t seen Max in a little over six months.  He’d joined the army right after high school, and when he left for boot camp, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Max was my rock, my confidant.  He knew my hopes and dreams; he beat up anyone that looked at me funny.  I’d never been away from him for more than a weekend since I was born.  When he deployed, I was lost.  But seeing him right then, I knew something had to be horribly wrong since he was supposed to be thousands of miles away, in Iraq.  He didn’t waste any time.  Once he reached me, he grabbed me by one hand and Cheyenne by the other and led us out into the hallway.  He didn’t stop until we reached his old Blazer in the front visitor’s lot.”

 

Gabe must have felt I needed the support because, suddenly, I found myself sitting in his lap, my head tucked up under his chin.

 

“Keep goin’,” he said.

 

“Anyway, once we came to a stop beside the truck, Max took me into his arms and nearly broke me with a bear hug.  He told me that our parents had died on their way back home from visiting my grandmother.  Their plane crashed while it was landing.  The landing equipment never engaged.  They didn’t die right away either.  They burned to death.  They were wrapped around each other when they were extracted from the burning remains of the plane.  We had a whirlwind the next two days.  The funeral was planned for the day after, and Max was shipped back to Iraq before we could even take a full breath.  I was left alone in a huge empty house.  Cheyenne’s mom had guardianship of me, but I didn’t stay with them.  My parent’s life insurance policies were doled out; we had plenty to pay off the house, cars, bills, funeral costs; I invested the rest.  I had to go from partying carefree Ember, to responsible Ember in less than two days.  When I needed my brother the most, he wasn’t there.  I didn’t see him unless he was on leave.  The only good thing in my life was Cheyenne.”

 

“Sounds like we could be soul mates.  I’ve had one shitty thing happen to me after another too,” he said to me forlornly.

 

“I think, since I shared my shit life story with you, you should share yours.”  I said seriously.

 

This was my chance.  If I had known that was all it took, I would have spilled these crappy memories from the get go.  I’d been wondering what made Gabe tick since I met him.  He was always the ‘sit in the back of the room and watch’ type of guy.  He would join in reluctantly, but never of his own volition.

 

He was also the type of man whose presence you couldn’t ignore.  My eyes were always drawn to him; I itched to be near him.  However, he always came off as unapproachable.  But it was as if one damaged soul was drawn to another.  His story had to be hard, in order to bring down a man whose presence seemed bigger than life.

 

“Not really much to tell.  I just have shit luck.  My dad died when I was young, my mom remarried a piece of shit who made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to do anything.  Then my mom died of the same disease that took my dad.  A year later, my girlfriend aborted my kid without my knowledge.  Since then, two of my closest friends have died.  I’m just not that lucky.  That is, until I met you.  When I met you, I started to feel different.  I am happy when I am around you.”  He said.

 

I sat up straight in his lap, then turned to look into his eyes.  They gave nothing away.  When he gave that speech, it was all monotone.  Like he didn’t feel any emotion anymore.

 

“Okay.  Do you mind if I ask you questions?”  I said while looking deeply into his eyes.

 

“You can ask, but I don’t know that I’ll answer.  Some of it’s still too raw.”  He said.

 

I didn’t know where to even start.  Therefore, I started with the one that irritated me the most.

 

“So … who’s the bitch I need to kill, and where does she live?”  I asked seriously.

 

Gabe burst out laughing, making my heart go a pitter-patter.  I didn’t say anything else, though; I was completely serious.  If I knew where she lived, I would give her a piece of my mind.  I had a strong pro-life stance, and felt that every human being deserved a fighting chance.

 

I knew there were some circumstances where abortion was the only option, but in Gabe’s case, I felt like there was something more to the story.  She didn’t have that excuse.  Once his laughter died down, he started speaking.

 

“I met Sidney when I was home on leave.  We hit it off, and dated for about a year when we found out she was pregnant.  I was over the moon.  I was confused on how it happened, since I never once forgot the condom and, supposedly, she was on the pill.  That’s neither here nor there.  I was a guarded happy.  I wanted the baby, but wasn’t too sure about her.  The circumstances seemed a little fishy, but there was nothing I could do about it.  She found out the day before I was to deploy for six months, and I didn’t have enough time to process that she was pregnant.  She made a doctor’s appointment, and sent me a picture about four weeks in to my deployment.  Three months in, she sent me a “Dear John” letter.  It said that she was no longer in love with me, that she found someone else.  She was kind enough to tell me in a P.S. that she wasn’t pregnant anymore; she took care of it the day after I was deployed.”

 

I was stunned into silence.  I honestly didn’t know what the fuck to say to that.  Who in the hell would write that in a letter?  This man was fighting for our freedom.  He was in a danger zone that could’ve killed him if his whole mind wasn’t on the task at hand.  Anyone who was anyone would have known that you didn’t tell someone that.

 

“I don’t even know what to say to that.”  I said quietly.

 

Leaning down, I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. 

 

“Nothing to say.  I just hope I never see her again.  I had the landlord kick her out of the house.  Apparently, the new love interest had moved in.  I closed the account that had our name on it.  I also called movers to move all my shit into storage.  I didn’t leave her with a thing.  I was so disgusted with her that I cut all ties with her.  I never went back to that town.  I moved here when I retired from the army.”  He said.

 

The more he told me about this woman, the more upset I got.  If I’d been a cartoon character, I would be blowing steam out of my nostrils and ears right about now.  My eyes would also be shooting laser beams.  What.  A. Bitch.

 

“What a bitch!”  I fumed.

 

One of Gabe’s rare smiles flashed across his face.  It was a good thing to see right about now.  No wonder he always seemed moody.  He’s had a tough lot given to him in life.

 

“How long ago was this?”  I asked cautiously.

 

“I got out of the army a year and three months ago.”  He said quietly.  “If the baby had lived, he would be a year and a half.”

 

Oh Jesus.  Tears were running down my face.

 

“Your mom?”  I sniffled out.

 

“She died while I was on deployment.  She didn’t even tell me.  I never knew until they told me she had gone.  My stepfather had the funeral before I could even get home on emergency leave.  Didn’t even bury her where she wanted to be buried; next to my dad.  He had her buried in some tomb in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  She hated it there.  Dad was buried in Detroit.”  He said easily. 

 

A little too easily.  His face was closed off now, and I knew that I had pushed him farther than he wanted to go.  Deciding to change the subject, I started telling him a funny story about Max, James, Cheyenne and me.

 

“So this one time at band camp.”  I said, while pausing for effect.

 

He rolled his eyes, exasperated at my attempt at lightheartedness.  A small smile crooked the corner of his lip up.

 

“Okay, it wasn’t at band camp.  Cheyenne and I were having a sleepover and found out that Max and James were going on a double date that night.  So, we did what any thirteen year old would do, we hid in the back of the car while they went to pick up their dates.  Things were moving along nicely until around ten that evening.  We thought they would just go to a movie, but they didn’t.  They went to some party, and we were stuck in the car for hours.  Luckily, we planned ahead and brought snacks and drinks.  Here we were hanging out in the back seat eating some trail mix when the cops show up.  The car was boxed in pretty good, and there was utter chaos going on outside our doors.  Deciding that it was best for us to get out of there, I hotwired the car-“ I was saying before he interrupted me.

 

“What do you mean, you hotwired the car?”  He asked.

 

“I learned that useful skill on YouTube.  I also know how to get out of zip ties, and pick a lock.  Cheyenne and I practiced.”  I said proudly.

 

“Why would you need to know how to do this?” he asked.

 

“Duh.  Because it is useful information.  Especially in that situation.  Anyway, I started the car, and only hit the car in front of me twice before I managed to get us turned around and headed out of there.  About that time, James and Max come barreling out of the house.  Their dates were nowhere to be seen.  They’re running full tilt towards us and hop in the back seat just as I peeled out of the driveway, skirting the cops as I went.  I was one of many cars, though, and managed to get out of there before being questioned.  Max and James were drunk as skunks in the back seat, and passed out before we even made it home.  I parked outside of Cheyenne’s house and we left there asses there on the front lawn.  We went back to my house.  The next morning we went out to the car and realized that more damage was done to the car than we’d originally thought.  Cheyenne’s mom came out around that time and found us staring at the car.  You should have seen how pissed she got.  To this day, they don’t remember how they got home, and think that one of them wrecked the car and drove drunk.”

 

“You can’t be serious.”  He said to me.  “You were only thirteen.  How did you know how to drive?”

 

“I used to borrow Max’s car all the time.  I was a little bit of a delinquent.”  I explained.

 

“A little bit of a delinquent.  Are you still?” he asked.

 

“I’m a tad impulsive, but I would never endanger myself.”

 

“Well, thank God for small things.”