Cole
“If you let me, I know I can make you happy,” she whined, sitting up in my bed, holding the sheets up over her breasts. They always want to pretend to be hurt when someone calls them out on their bullshit. She gave me her best pouty face, poking her bottom lip out, looking at me with those sad blue eyes, and tilting her face down submissively.
Lies.
“I’m not interested in playing games,” I grunted out in disgust as I got up from the bed and started pulling my clothes on.
“But I can be whatever you want me to be,” she insisted.
“Then be dressed and be getting out of my room,” I told her. I pulled my jeans up over my boxers and buckled my belt. I threw on my kutte and ran a hand over my face.
“Whatever I did, I’m sorry, but if you let me try, I promise I can…” she started to protest again.
“I promise I’m not interested,” I retorted. I walked over to the door and opened it wide. She gasped and grabbed her shirt from the floor next to the bed. She threw it on, exposing herself for a brief moment to the door. Apparently, she didn’t want anyone passing by in the hallway to see her.
I sighed as I waited for her to get dressed. She hadn’t been wearing much to begin with, so there shouldn’t have been much to put back on. Her shirt, her bra if she was interested, her jeans, and her shoes. That was it.
“Listen, I’m sorry,” she said again when she reached the door. She put a thin hand on my chest and leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my face away so she couldn’t. She stopped short and sank back away from me.
I kept my head turned away from her as she finally walked into the hallway without another word. I closed my door in her shocked face and locked it in case she decided she wasn’t done embarrassing herself. I sat on the bed and pulled my boots on. I needed a drink after dealing with that.
I gave her a few minutes to leave the building before walking down to the common room and sitting with Mick at the bar. I wanted to make sure she’d had time to leave. I figured if I got downstairs and she was still there, I’d just go back up and wait a little longer, or have one of the old ladies escort her ass out – that way she couldn’t say I’d put my hands on her.
“Saw your girl leaving, brother. She looked pretty pissed off. Everything okay?” Mick asked as he slid a Jack and Coke across the bar to me.
“It is now,” I said, taking my first sip and enjoying the spicy whiskey lingering on my tongue.
Mick tilted his head back and laughed, showing off the neck and chest pieces I’d done for him. I had done tattoos for most of the guys in the MC. We had guys like Bruce who liked old school biker tattoos done in bold black ink, and guys like Mick, who were covered in the new school shit, full of color and detail. The lines were different, too. New school tattoos created motion for the eyes with the way the lines were drawn on.
I preferred the lively, colorful ink myself, but there were still plenty of people out there who liked bold, black tattoos. There were a few guys with prison tattoos, but I hadn’t done them. They weren’t paid for by a guy in a tattoo parlor. You had to earn those, or you were a punk trying to prove something that probably wasn’t true.
“Care to talk about it?” Mick asked, grabbing a beer for himself and leaning across the bar.
“Just the same old shit, man,” I remarked.
“Another online chick?” he persisted. “Why don’t you date some of the girls who hang out here, man?” He nodded and tilted his beer towards the back of the room, where there were a bunch of local girls hanging around, trying to get the attention of our members.
“They’re even worse,” I told him.
I turned around on my barstool to face the room. The girls were hanging around drinking in their jeans and black T-shirts. Some wore black leather jackets with spikes on them like they were at a punk or metal show instead of hanging out in what amounted to a garage.
“These girls come in here, and they try so hard to impress us,” I lamented.
“They can be fun, though, brother. Give one of them a shot. Go for it,” Mick urged me.
I groaned. “I’ve given several of them shots. Sure, they can be fun for the afternoon or for the night, but after that, they’re usually just . . . boring. They want to date a biker because it’s cool. Or some of them want to hook up with one of us to have a story to tell. Not what I’m looking for.” I turned around to face Mick, who was still staring at the girls giggling and taking shots.
“I’m thinking about taking one of them upstairs tonight,” he said absently.
“You have fun with that. I want something different.”
“I’ll never understand what you’re looking for, brother. It seems to me that you should be able to find at least one genuine girl among the ones who stop by here or the ones you meet online,” he said, taking another swig of his drink.
“You’d think so, but it hasn’t happened. They all want to play games, man. It’s like they think the only way to get someone’s attention is to put on a show. We’re not birds in the wild looking for a mate so we can preserve the species. We’re looking for someone to be a partner for life. Hell, she could already have kids for all I care.” I shrugged and took another sip of my drink. Before setting my glass down, I went ahead and downed the rest of it.
“Another?” Mick asked.
“Yeah, I probably should,” I told him.
He laughed and poured me another glass. He slid it across, and I immediately picked it up and drank half of it.
Alcohol will help alleviate the boredom of dealing with these girls I keep trying to date.
“Maybe your tastes are too particular,” he said.
“I don’t think so. There have got to be women out there who aren’t jaded, who’ve led a somewhat sheltered life, right? I mean, what’s wrong with wanting someone who’s still pretty innocent and inexperienced?”
Mick laughed. “You gotta catch them young for that, don’t you?”
“Not necessarily. I mean, I wouldn’t think so. I imagine there’s at least one woman out there who has lived a mostly sheltered life, either out of necessity or personal taste, and she’s looking for someone to turn that around. I’ve had innocent girls before.”
“Yeah, but they eventually grow up and get some life experience that changes all of that. Am I right?” he asked.
“Yeah, they usually do. Or experience changes them and takes away their innocence,” I mused out loud.
“You haven’t found someone like that online?”
“You would think I could find anyone online these days, but no. I’ve gone through several dating sites, and these women get on there talking about how innocent and pure they are, but it ends up being this fetish, you know? It’s part of some fantasy they want to live out with their partner.”
“Now, those are the women I need to meet,” Mick joked.
“You’d think so. But, it’s just not the same when it’s a game, you know?” I’d dated a few innocent girls, and there was something about genuine innocence, about being inexperienced, that couldn’t be replicated by someone trying to live out a fantasy. The truth always became obvious.
“Ever think you’re the one trying too hard?” Mick asked.
I smirked. “Probably.” I sat and thought about it for a minute, and then I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. I just want someone inexperienced, so I can open up her horizons a little bit. Not necessarily young, although I’m not opposed to younger girls. And I’d like to meet someone without tattoos.”
“Whoa,” Mick exclaimed, backing away from the bar. “You? Meet someone without tattoos? No offense, but that might be a bit much to ask, man. Do you really think a girl without any ink will talk to you?”
I chuckled. “That’s the thing. She’s got to be interested in expanding her horizons. But, yeah, why not? Everyone who has tattoos had to have gotten that first tattoo at some point, right?”
“I get the whole thing about the innocent chick. I don’t know anyone who isn’t interested in teaching a girl a little something, but why no tattoos?” Mick asked, taking my glass and topping it off.
“I want to be the guy to give her that first tattoo, you know? I want a girl with pale skin so I can really bring out the colors and the contrast,” I replied, somewhat dreamily.
“Oh, so you want her to be your big work of art.” He nodded knowingly.
I grinned as I took a sip of my drink. I did want her to be my masterpiece, but I wanted her to be more than that. I wanted her to be my muse; the inspiration for the artwork I covered her body with. And I wanted someone with skin pale enough to show off everything I did. I didn’t want to compete with someone else’s work for space on her canvas either. I wanted every inch of her body to be mine.
“I think you’re asking for a lot. A girl like that is going to be very dramatic. You know that, right?” he said.
“I don’t see why she should be. That’s why you don’t see me messing with too many women. I’m not going to get involved with just anybody.”
“You might be missing out on something great.” He nodded at the girls behind me. “There are some fine ass women in here today. I bet you could find someone to keep you entertained for a while over there.”
I turned and looked with disgust.
That’s not what I want.
I saw a few tattoos – small pieces on shoulders and ankles, places that could be hidden for work or family, and a couple of tramp stamps placed specifically to be shown off as part of the nightclub mating rituals so many people participated in. I never understood why so many people treated dating like it was some kind of meat market.
“I don’t know, man. I’m looking for more. I’m so bored with it all. I’m ready to find someone I can call mine, something permanent.”
“I may need to cut you off. Next, you’re going to be laying over the bar, crying, telling me you love me or whatever,” Mick said.
“Shut the fuck up. Don’t give me that macho crap about how we’re supposed to sleep with as many women as possible and not give a damn about their feelings.” I drank more from my glass. That lifestyle was not for me. Trying to do that was what left me so bored and frustrated to begin with.
“Says the guy who just ran a girl out of his room after taking her upstairs for sex.”
“Yeah, we didn’t even get around to it,” I admitted.
Mick shook his head. I felt his eyes silently judging me, as if not wanting to sleep with every girl who came into the clubhouse or every woman I met online made me less of a man or less of a Steel Devil.
“I just want something new,” I told him. “Some new blood, someone fresh and unspoiled.”
I got up from the bar and stretched. The conversation hadn’t done much for my mood, but the alcohol did make me feel a little less bitter. I decided that it was time for bed. I had to be at work in the morning. I tapped the bar to tell Mick goodnight.
As I shuffled away towards the staircase, I nearly tripped over my own feet. I didn’t realize I’d had that much to drink. I was going to sleep just fine.
By the time I made it to the stairs, I didn’t even feel whatever it was that had sent me downstairs for drinks in the first place.