Lucy

 

They kept me overnight for observation. They said everything was fine, that the stress I’d been putting myself under was too much for my pregnant body. I was lectured on not going to the doctor to check up on my progress. They performed a couple of ultrasounds to check on the baby and make sure it was healthy— He was healthy.

 

I was going to have a baby boy. I hadn’t even realized I was far enough along for them to tell the sex of the child. When they told me, my first thought was to tell Blade we were going to have a son, but I had to stop myself. The child wasn’t his. And I reminded myself of Dylan’s visit. No one could know that I was having a boy. I didn’t want it getting back to either one of them. If Dylan knew I was having a boy, he’d probably try harder to get the child from me. If Blade knew, it would just break his heart that much more.

 

I couldn’t stay. I had to leave. I had to get away from everyone. I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t go back to Blade. And I wasn’t about to pursue Dylan again. It was time for me to break free of everyone else’s expectations, wants, and desires. It was time to do what was best for me, and what was going to be best for my son.

 

“Well, Lucy, everything looks great,” the doctor said, coming into my room for the last time. “I’ll have the nurse come around with your discharge papers in a few minutes, and I guess you’re good to go after that. Do you have any questions?”

 

I didn’t. I was ready to be out of the hospital bed. I had been under the scrutiny of the doctors, the nurses, and members of the MC. Robby had been there, but he’d brought Blade’s actual brothers in to watch me – Hammer and Sketch. They looked like younger versions of their big brother, serving as constant reminders that I was about to stab him in the back after everything he’d done for me.

 

When news came that I was being discharged, Robby sent the brothers out of the room. I overheard him tell them he was going to be taking me to the clubhouse later to make sure I was safe.

 

“I need to grab my things from Blade’s house,” I told Robby when he came back in the room. I wanted him to know I had overheard his conversation, but I didn’t want to say anything directly to him about it.

 

“Yeah, we can do that.” He made no apologies for talking to the guys in the hallway.

 

I got up and changed from my hospital gown into my clothes in the bathroom while we waited on the nurse to come in. It occurred to me that my pack was probably still in Blade’s car. I’d grabbed it before going to see my father, and we hadn’t stopped by the house after that.

 

“What happened to Blade’s car when he was arrested?” I asked Robby when I came out.

 

“They left it at the club. We had a guy pick it up. Why?”

 

“Is it at his house?” I asked.

 

He narrowed his eyes. He was looking out for one of his brothers. Blade had been put in jail, and even though he didn’t hold a special title in the MC, everyone treated him like he was up there with Brick. He’d been locked up, most likely on bogus charges, most likely because of my dad, and I was starting to ask a bunch of questions after being hospitalized for abdominal pain related to my pregnancy, that had turned out to be nothing at all other than just my body’s reaction to stress.

 

“Yeah, we dropped it off at the house,” he said in a guarded tone.

 

“My backpack is in it. It has my things from the clubhouse because I was supposed to be moving back in with him,” I said with a laugh. I shook my head.

 

“What?” He almost looked embarrassed that he’d been so obvious about his suspicions.

 

“Just all this back and forth,” I told him. “From my house to his, to the clubhouse, back to his house, but not quite. It’s a mess. Is it always this messy?”

 

“It can be,” he said cryptically.

 

I nodded. Fair enough.

 

When the nurse handed me my paperwork, Robby declined her offer to have someone walk with us downstairs, out of the hospital. He insisted that he had me and we were fine. I was beginning to understand what his function within the club must have been. When he spoke, people didn’t just listen. They backed up to listen.

 

His truck was parked along the curb. He opened the door for me and made sure I was in comfortably before closing it and getting in on the other side. On the way to Blade’s house, he explained to me that he was going to take me to the clubhouse afterwards. They all felt like it was safer to have me where they could keep an eye on me.

 

“It’s not that we don’t trust you,” Robby said apologetically. “We just don’t want your father to do something stupid, or whoever’s after Blade, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I get it,” I assured him, keeping up the charade.

 

“Okay. I don’t want you to think it’s because we think you’re in on it.” Was he still upset that I’d caught him looking at me suspiciously back at the hospital? I found that incredibly amusing.

 

He parked in the driveway, behind the Charger. The car was unlocked. I reached into the back and grabbed my backpack. I opened the bag and pretended I was checking to make sure everything was in it.

 

“I need to get in the house,” I told him as I closed it. “Need to grab a few more things.”

 

Robby had a key. I wondered who all had keys to his house in the MC. It seemed strange, but, at the same time, they were so communal and protective of each other, I just shrugged it off as something they would have done.

 

He let me in, but he stayed outside. The MC had obviously made sure the house was free of any threat they perceived from whoever had framed Blade. I felt panicked, knowing he was waiting for me right outside the door.

 

I wasn’t going back to the clubhouse with him. I wanted to keep my son, and staying with Blade and the Vicious Thrills meant losing him to Dylan. I had to get out of the house without being noticed.

 

I didn’t actually have anything I needed to get from inside that was mine. I had come in because in Blade’s closet, there was a false panel in the wall above his clothes. Behind that panel was a small space, like a safe, where he kept an unregistered gun and a stack of money, just in case. He’d shown me those things one night, telling me there was always the possibility that things could get hairy.

 

I didn’t need the gun. Rather, I didn’t want the gun. It might not have been a bad idea to grab it, but guns always felt like a bad idea, and I wouldn’t have known how to use it even if I’d taken it. The cash was in a thick wad of what looked like mostly twenties, secured with a thick rubber band. I pulled it out and stuffed it into my pack.

 

I closed the panel on the wall and went to his desk. I found a piece of paper and left him a note apologizing for taking the money but promising I was going to pay him back. I told him that, one day, I would be able to explain to him what I had done and why I had to leave. I left the note on the desk and crept downstairs.

 

Robby was still standing in the doorway. As long as he was watching me from the front of the house, though, I knew I had the back of the house. I hurried through the back door, made my way across the patio, and went through the pool house at the back end of the property. I knew I was going to come out in someone else’s backyard, but I didn’t have a choice.

 

I had never done anything like I was doing. I felt like a criminal, slinking through people’s yards, keeping low, and trying to avoid being seen, even in broad daylight. I hurried along the edges of the yards until I could get out onto the next street. I wondered how much time I had before Robby realized I was missing.

 

Once I hit the main road, I knew I had to be careful not to get spotted, but as I made my way back into town, that task was going to be easier. Once the sidewalks through Blade’s neighborhood became the sidewalks in town, I was going to blend in with the crowd, as long as I didn’t get spotted first.

 

I kept a close watch over my shoulder, making sure I hadn’t been followed. I couldn’t believe I was making my escape, and it looked like I was actually going to pull it off as I walked into the bus stop.

 

I tried to look natural as I walked up to the counter to get a bus ticket.

 

“What’s the next bus leaving?” I asked.

 

“I’m sorry,” the kid behind the counter said.

 

“Look, I don’t care where I’m going. I need a ticket out of here. I need a ticket for the next bus leaving town,” I explained.

 

I could see from his face that my request wasn’t as common as I would have hoped. Or, if it was, he considered a red flag.

 

“Look, my abusive boyfriend is after me. I think he saw me come in here. If he catches me, I don’t know what he’s going to do.” I worked up some fake tears for him, impressed by my skill at manipulating him. I had never lied quite like that before, and it seemed to be working.

 

“If you need, I can have security or the authorities help you,” he said.

 

“No, they’ll just send me home with him again because I don’t have any bruises from being beaten. They never help.” I was getting desperate. If he didn’t give me a ticket soon, I didn’t know what I was going to do. Even though I was making up the abusive boyfriend story on the spot, it really did feel like it was only a matter of time before the MC found me. If they took me back to Blade, I was going to lose my baby.

 

The boy wasn’t buying it. It was only a matter of time before he tipped off a supervisor.

 

“Come on, just help me out,” I begged.

 

He looked down at the computer screen in front of him and sighed. He told me the next bus was leaving in five minutes, and it was making a stop about a hundred miles away at a small bus station. I thanked him, got the ticket, and left, figuring I’d be able to hop another bus when I reached the next stop.

 

He looked relieved when I left the counter and headed for the bus. I kept checking over my shoulder to make sure no one was following me. So far, no one had spotted me. No one knew where I was or where I was going. I had paid in cash, so the kid behind the counter didn’t even know who I was.

 

I was on my way to simply disappearing from everyone’s lives. I was nervous and a little scared of what lay ahead at my next stop, but I felt free for the first time in my life.