Skull
Skull's forehead ached furiously where the paintball had hit it, and the streaks of red dye were already stiffening and cracking on his face. But he was so filled with glee that he didn't care. He hopped up onto the bar at The Lucky Hand, pantomiming a shotgun and bellowing theatrically.
“It's time for some motherfucking payback, you worthless dago bitches! We're here for the girl, and you can't stop us! Eat buckshot! Blam! Blam!”
The room erupted with laughter except for Chillie Millie, who stoically poured out shots of whiskey for herself and the others.
“How about Bax, huh?” Panda chortled, holding his sides. “The others are all cowering behind the car, and he's just standing tall like a badass, killing guys with each shot like he's fuckin' Dirty Harry or some shit.”
“My favorite part was Ash's Oscar-winning performance,” Bumper snorted. He clutched his chest dramatically, shrieking in a panicked falsetto. “'Oh, no! You wasted Skull! You scoundrels! You dirty rats!'”
“'They're just too much for us, guys!'” Ash chimed in merrily. “'We've gotta get out of here!'” He mimed hiking up a skirt and mincing away quickly, and several others followed suit.
Skull laughed so hard he fell off the bar, tears streaming down his cheeks as they turned purple. “Stop it,” he wheezed, slapping his knee. “I can't breathe!”
“Hey, how about that Mule, huh?” Bumper said. “Can you believe he switched out Silvio's gun without being noticed? Man, how does a guy that big have such fast hands?”
“Speaking of which,” David pointed out, “shouldn't he and Bax have made it back here by now?”
“Relax, they'll be here,” Tommy assured him. “Bax is probably buying himself a drink at every bar in the French Quarter, patting himself on the back.”
“He goddamn deserves it,” Skull said. He turned to Harry, touching his forehead and wincing. “Dude, those paint rounds sting like a sonuvabitch! You couldn't have made them any softer?”
“They were still fired out of a damn Desert Eagle,” Harry replied, rolling his eyes. “What, did you expect them to feel like dandelion puffs? I thought you bikers were supposed to be tough. You're just lucky Bax is such a crack shot, or you could've lost an eye.”
The door opened and Bax walked in with Mule. Everyone in the bar applauded, and Skull put two fingers in his mouth, whistling loudly.
“You're finally here,” Tommy exclaimed, getting up from his seat and bringing shots of whiskey to the two men. “What took you guys so long?”
Before Bax could open his mouth, Mule answered. “He fucked her.”
The room fell silent immediately.
“Hey, what the hell is that?” Bax sputtered, sounding annoyed. “Come on, don't say shit like that. How did you...I mean...why the hell would you think that, anyway? That's...”
Mule looked at Bax darkly.
“Bax, that ain't true, is it?” Skull asked. His heart felt like it was dropping down an elevator shaft. They'd gone over the plan carefully, and this wasn't part of it. No, it sounded a lot like the kind of reckless stuff that Bax had gotten up to when they were still a couple of silly kids.
The stuff that generally got them into deep trouble.
“Of course it's not true,” Bax said. “Hey, just because I was alone with her for an hour, you think I can't control myself? You honestly believe I'd jeopardize this whole operation like that, just for a quick screw?”
David shut his eyes tightly, rubbing his temples. “Jesus Christ, Bax.”
Tommy leaned in close to Bax and sniffed twice. His eyes widened, and the corners of his mouth quivered with rage. “Holy shit. You did. You actually fucked her, you testa di cazzo, you stupid, selfish motherfucking stronzo—”
“Hey, hey, careful!” Bax protested. “I actually know what those words mean now, you know.”
Tommy kicked a chair, sending it flying across the room. “Goddamn it, Bax, can't you take anything seriously? What did I say to you, huh? What were my exact fucking words? Do not fuck this girl. Not this one. We've got millions of dollars on the line, and you're pissing it away just so you can get your balls drained!”
“You've really got to work on your mixed metaphors, there, Tommy,” Bax said. “Am I pissing, or am I draining my balls? I can't be doing both.”
“I should have known better,” Harry growled, slamming a fist on the bar. “I should have walked away from this the moment I saw it was you, because you always fucking do this. No matter what the score is or how many other people are involved, you always find some way to make it about you. But no, I got greedy and fell for your horseshit all over again...”
“Men,” Millie sighed bitterly. She poured herself a double shot of whiskey, draining it in one gulp.
“And you!” Tommy barked, jamming an accusing finger in Mule's face. “You were supposed to be keeping an eye on things. Why the hell would you leave him alone with her for an hour?”
“Couldn't exactly say anything, could I?” Mule asked.
“Guys, there's no need for any of this drama,” Bax insisted. “Okay, fine, I got caught up in the moment and went a little off-book. So what? Nothing has changed. The plan is still solid. If anything, it's even more solid now because she actually likes me.”
“This don't feel solid to me, Bax,” Skull said sadly. He knew big, tough bikers weren't supposed to have hurt feelings, but damn it, he had them just the same. “This feels bad. Like we can't rely on you to stick to the blueprint, so we'll all be sitting on one ass cheek waiting to hear about the next decision you made without telling us.”
Bax looked hurt. “How can you stand there and say you can't rely on me, Skull? Haven't we known each other since we were in second grade? Didn't I come running the minute you said you needed my help? Didn't I come up with a plan to get ten times your money back for you?”
“Yeah, but now you're making moves that go against that plan,” said Skull. “And for what? To get your dick wet? What is that?”
“I should have known better,” Harry repeated. “I should have realized that the only way you could ever keep your head during a scam is if someone milked you like a fucking dairy cow every morning.”
“Oh, and are you volunteering for that job, Harry? Because if so, thanks but no thanks.” Bax let out a frustrated sigh. “Look. Clearly, you guys just don't understand. Even if I went a little too far, the fact is, seduction is still a crucial component of this whole thing. I mean, Christ, it's the Spanish Prisoner con.”
“I don't give a flying fuck if it's the Chinese Dentist con,” Tommy snapped. “You had no right to take that risk on your own, and you know it.”
“So what, then?” Bax asked. “You guys want to just pack it in and forget the whole thing? You want to walk away from all that money and let these greasers shit all over you whenever they feel like it? Because it sure sounds like that's what I'm hearing.”
The others exchanged glances uncertainly.
“I think we can still do the rest of the plan,” Skull said. He felt an uncertain twinge in his gut, but he couldn't help it. He and Bax went back too far, and he badly wanted to feel like he could trust his old friend despite this lapse in judgment. “But I'd say you owe everyone in this room your solemn promise that you'll stick to the script from now on.”
“Oh, his 'solemn promise?'” Tommy blurted out. “What, like cross his heart, stick a needle, all that shit? You must think we're all in second grade, if you expect us to fall for that load of crap.”
“I expect Bax to be the honorable man I know he really is, behind all the bluffing and bullshit,” Skull said evenly. “We go back too far for me not to.”
Bax nodded. “Absolutely. Thank you, Skull. That means a lot to me.”
Tommy threw up his hands, exasperated. “We're going along with this fiasco? Fine. But from now on, Bax, you do not spend one second alone with that girl. Period.” He turned to Mule. “If he tries to send you away again, hoof him in the fucking balls.”
“Suits me,” said Mule.
“All right,” Skull said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Glad we've got that sorted out. So what's next, Bax?”
“You'll need to find us a brick of heroin,” Bax told him. “As pure as you can find. And you can't get it from anyone who could get word back to Altamura. This has to be completely off the grid.”
Skull thought for a moment. “There's a guy over in Mississippi who might be able to sell it to us. But it's still not gonna be that pure—my guess is, he'll have stepped on it at least three or four times by then.”
“That's no problem. We can make it work.” Bax turned to Millie. “How about it, Chills? Are you ready to bust out your chemistry set?”
Millie grunted her assent, pouring another drink for herself.
“That ain't the only thing.” Skull shifted his weight nervously. “Scoring that much H is gonna cost us. Big-time. And we already chipped in for your suit, and for the hotel room—”
“Consider all of it an investment,” Bax grinned confidently. “By the time this is all over, you aren't going to care what anything costs anymore.”
Skull wanted to believe him.
Except now, deep down, he wasn't quite so sure.