Desiree
The day had come. It was time for me to have the party that would both allow me to say goodbye to Caleb and officially start my new life. It was bittersweet, but I was ready. We invited thirty of our closest friends and relatives and Elizabeth and I had stayed up late making snacks and desserts. I sent Elizabeth to bed around midnight, but Aiden had actually come to keep me company.
He said that he wasn’t a great cook, but he certainly did well with directions. If he stuck around, I might just teach him a thing or two. He’d been working very hard with Jax to build the floor in the basement and they’d done such a good job. I couldn’t imagine how much it physically pained him to do so, but he did it anyway.
Aiden was a man of sacrifice. He would do anything to ensure the happiness of the ones that he cared about. I recalled the way he smiled as he mixed the bowl full of sugar, flour, salt, and cocoa. I was telling him stories about the first time that I caught Caleb trying to bake a cake, which had been a disaster, and Aiden loved it.
He laughed with me as we shared funny stories about the time each of us spent with Caleb. Every story was brand new, because we’d never truly hung out together as a group.
As the cake sat in the oven, alongside the lemon merengue pie, we sat at the table and talked about the things that we wanted to do with our lives.
“I want to go back to college,” he’d said. “I want to do something with kids. I think it would do me some good to be around innocence and pure hearts after all the shit I’ve seen.”
I laughed. “Well, you’ll have to clean that mouth of yours up first.”
He smiled. “What about you? What does Desiree want to do with her life?”
I thought for a moment. It had been a while since I’d been asked that question. There were more than enough times when I’d thought about it, but I hadn’t really spoken aloud concerning my plans.”
“I have so many ideas,” I said. “I think I’d like to go back into crisis counseling. I got out of it for quite a while, but I think I’m ready to go back. I also think I want to go back to school. Oddly enough, I think that I want to change my career. It probably doesn’t sound like it from my first statement, but I have a lot of passions.
“I love to learn. I think I’d like to go into teaching. I love kids, too. More than anything, I want a family. It’s taken a whole year to see that, but really, it was only this past week. Elizabeth. The baby. Jax. The baseball field and all that happened there. This entire week has been nothing but my life flashing before my eyes. We don’t have forever, and I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to.”
Aiden’s brows furrowed as he studied my face. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking.
“You will be a wonderful mother,” he said. “And any man would be lucky to have you. More than lucky. He’d be blessed.”
My breath caught for a moment. That was incredibly sweet of him to say. We were interrupted by the timer going off.
“Meringue is done,” I said.
We went to the stove and I grabbed the potholders, but I wasn’t paying attention. There had been too much on my mind at that moment. My right index finger wasn’t completely covered by the cloth. I cried out from the pain but managed to safely remove the pie by lifting that finger from the pan. Though I’d been quick to do so, I hadn’t been fast enough.
When I sat the pie down, I examined my finger. It had already started to blister. Aiden gently grabbed hold of my hand, pulling it to him as he looked it over. He brought me to the sink and turned the water on in a steady, but gentle cold flow.
“I’ll be right back. Keep it here,” he said. “It should help with the blistering.”
I nodded and did as I was told. A few moments later he came back and turned the water off and lifted my hand again. He put a cream on it before bandaging it. His hands were surprisingly gentle given what he was capable of. When he was finished, he placed a kiss on the bandaged finger before letting me go.
“Good as new,” he said. “Well, minus the pain. I hope the burn cream helps, though.”
I stood there, staring at him, amazed by him. He was a very attractive man and very sweet. He would make someone very happy one day. As I thought about that again, a twinge of jealousy struck me. Suddenly the thought of him with someone else seemed intolerable to me. His mouth fell slightly open, his lips only barely parted. It was then that I noticed just how closed we were standing.
“I should get to bed,” he’d said at random. “I have to help Jax really early in the morning.”
I shook my head, trying to bring myself back around.
“Yeah!” I said. “Of course! No problem. Thanks for baking with me. Oh, and thanks for the first aid as well.”
His hand reached out, nearly brushing my face, but he stopped, pulling it back before giving an uneasy smile. “Not a problem at all, Desiree.”
“Desi,” I said. “You can call me Desi.”
He nodded once before nearly bolting out of the room. What the hell had even happened? It was going great up until that moment. Maybe I’d overstepped. I couldn’t be certain, but it certainly had me up a lot of the night thinking about it and even at that moment as I lazed about in my bed. I sighed and got up before my alarm could go off. I only had a couple more minutes anyway. I gathered my clothes, towel, and washcloth before heading into the bathroom.
I turned the knob and walked in, my sleepy eyes then wide as I gasped. All of my things went into the floor as I stood there, my mouth open, my eyes glazing over, my breaths becoming heavy, and my heart skipping around.
Nothing was said as I stared at Aiden standing there, wet and naked. The only thing covering him was a towel that he had clutched directly in front of him. His long, lean torso bare, revealing the deep, toned V that led down to the towel. His hips and thighs: bare. I could see every single thing he had to offer, aside from one.
At that moment, I was not myself. I was gone. All that was left was my body acting on impulse. I stepped forward, using my foot to slide my things out of the way as I closed the door behind me. My eyes never left his body and I had no idea what the expression on his face held. I was so lost at the sight of him that I didn’t care. It had been longer than a year since I’d been with a man. It was something I never dreamed of wanting again, but there it was. My vanishing sex drive had returned with vengeance. Hungry. Needy.
I stepped forward again, slowly, patiently. When I reached him, my left hand reached out and touched his chest. It was wet, the water still beaded up and running down his skin in some places. I found myself in pain at the sight of him.
My hand and my focus traveled down to his hand. He was still clutching the towel, but not for long. I rested my hand over his before touching the fluffy cloth. It fell from his hand to the floor, my breath catching as I stared at him. Fully exposed for me to see. Goosebumps covered his skin as my heated sigh came in contact with his wet skin.
Perfection.
I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his bare chest, the water enveloping my lips. I pulled back a couple of inches, licking it away before leaning forward again to repeat the process. I loved the smell of him. The taste of him. God, I’d forgotten what it was like to feel such desire. His fingers came to rest under my chin before tilting my head so he could see my face. His breathing had become just as heavy as mine, his expression reflecting need – but he was resisting.
I placed my hands on his sides and he closed his eyes as he exhaled.
“Desi,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Stop.”
Just like that, it was as if an icy bucket of water had been thrown on me. I snapped back to reality. What was I thinking? My hands covered my mouth.
“I am so sorry,” I said, my eyes wide.
How did I get to that point? How did I allow myself to act that way?
“No,” he said. “Please don’t be sorry. I didn’t stop you because I don’t want you.”
“Oh my God,” I said. “Aiden – I am so sorry!”
“Desi. Stop. Don’t overthink this. It’s okay.”
He reached down and snatched up his towel before hastily wrapping it around him. I took the chance to run out of the room. I’d almost gotten to the door when he spun me around, pressing my back flat against the door before kissing me.
His lips…
His lips were so soft. I was caught between being mortified and wanting more. He was right. We couldn’t do that. We couldn’t do anything like that.
He pulled away, his eyes locked on mine. “I’m sorry. I needed to stop you from freaking out. Please don’t think that I don’t want you.”
Aiden took a step forward and I could feel his hardness pressing against me, forcing another sharp intake of air on my part.
“I don’t want you to think that at all. You are incredibly beautiful. You are everything a man could ever want, but I can’t do this. Not like this. Not today.”
I nodded. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m so sorry. I lost myself. You’re right. Not like this. Not today.”
“You haven’t been with anyone in over a year. You’ve suppressed that side of yourself for a very long time. I’m neither surprised nor offended that you reacted that way to seeing a naked man, though I am very flattered that it was me.”
There was a pause as we looked at one another, neither one making a sound.
“God,” he said finally. “You are so beautiful. You need to leave now. You need to leave before I show you exactly how I feel about you.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I said.
What a terrible, yet delicious situation I’d found myself in. I had no self-control. That’s what the teenage years was all about, learning all about that. Then you get married and don’t have to have much control at all with your spouse, but if you lose them, you’re supposed to start all over. I was many years out of practice.
“I have very little left in me,” he said.
His body was shaking, and I could tell that he was fighting way harder than what I was. I loved feeling passion again. I couldn’t seem to help myself. I had no idea if I’d regret it later or not, but I knew what I wanted right at that moment.
Aiden.
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down to me, our lips meeting once again. He put his left arm under my backside and lifted me before turning and placing me on the sink. His body was powerful and overwhelming. Every inch of him was screaming sex to me and I wanted it. I needed it. Our kiss only broke long enough for him to take off my shirt. I smiled as he kissed me again. There was no turning back at that point and I had no interest in doing so.