Chapter Twenty-Five
MALCOLM LEANED on the pillar and watched his father sitting on the beach. He’d been watching him for the last twenty minutes trying to figure out if he wanted to talk to him. They’d spent the last three days avoiding each other. Not because he didn’t want to talk to him, he didn’t know what to say. The night before Malcolm spotted Fox and his mom sitting under the cabana and Fox was crying. His mom held him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do about this. He had spent a lot of time keeping his anger in check, but he’d never been able to make it go away. Or forget. Now adding a daughter he didn’t know about and a baby into the mix, he was totally confused.
“Hey son.”
Malcolm turned to find Jay standing behind him. Some of his anger cooled. “Dad.” Malcolm always considered Jay his dad and Fox was just Fox.
Jay smiled. “How are you doing?”
“The same as I was when Lana asked me a half an hour ago.”
“That good huh?”
“How am I supposed to feel?” Someone needed to let him know because all he could feel was numb.
Jay took out a cigar and lit it. “Angry, betrayed, confused. Pick one.”
No wonder Jay came outside, Cherry wasn’t a fan of the cigar. “How about all three and a couple more for good measure.”
“What do you intend to do?” Jay blew a smoke ring into the air.
He loved that trick when he was a kid. “I have no clue.”
He didn’t want to talk about it. He wasn’t finished brooding.
“Did Mom find a sober living coach for Fox?”
Jay grinned. “An ex-member of the Crips.”
“Seriously?”
Jay shrugged. “He was upfront with his past and he had client list that read like an issue of Vanity Fair. Your mother is wetting her pants.”
He was sure his mom was planning on snagging some of those names for her stable. “Six degrees of separation.” He laughed. “Why is she getting him a coach?”
“Not her idea. Fox is afraid to slip back into the bottle.”
Malcolm was having a hard time caring, but he knew he had to be supportive. “Points for him.”
“He wants to stay in New Orleans and get to know Jane.”
Malcolm sighed. “I figured as much.”
“You okay with that?”
“He’s a grown man.” Sort of. He didn’t want to care, but he knew there was a part of him that did. So he would have to work on that. Maybe sometime next year.
“He wants to win you back too.”
Tough shit. “He tossed me away.”
“I was glad to catch you.” He blew out a long stream of smoke.
“You okay with this?”
“I’m too old to be jealous and we both know I’m your favorite parent. So no.”
“Thanks.”
Jay looked at him strangely. “For?”
“Catching me and my mom.”
“My original intentions was to win you over so I could have her, but … well you were so cute.”
That surprised him. Jay was always there for him.
“What would you do?”
“I would do what would cause me the least regrets.”
“Do you have any regrets?” Jay was a bastard of an agent. You didn’t fuck him over unless you wanted to retire from the entertainment business. He ran the agency with an iron fist, but he was fair and he was loyal and he protected his clients like they were family. His mom was even worse, but they always put family first and Malcolm was lucky he was in that circle.
“A couple, but you aren’t one of them. I couldn’t love you
any more if you were my flesh and blood.”
“What do you regret?”
“I passed on Nirvana.”
He’d never heard that. “You’re shitting me?”
“Your mother hasn’t let me forget it.” Jay patted his shoulder. “Go talk to him. Don’t give him a chance, give yourself one.”
Okay he could play along. He was good at that. “Thanks… Dad.” Malcolm walked down the wooden planks and sat down next to Fox. “Hey.”
“You know there is nothing like sitting in front of the ocean to put you in your place.”
“You need to be put in your place?”
“Yeah.”
“Jay was telling me you’re staying in New Orleans.”
“Are you okay with that?”
Malcolm was surprised he asked. “I want to get to know Jane better.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For?” Did he have time for that list?
“For Jane, you, everything. For fucking up your life.”
“I did okay.” That at least he meant.
“I should have been there.”
“I’m not saying it’s okay, but now I know it wasn’t me.”
“I’m not going to ask you to forgive me. I get that I have to earn it, but will you give me a chance.”
The last thing he wanted was his father to start making amends again. That would be way too painful. “Let’s deal with Jane first.”
“Do you like her?”
He thought about that for a moment. “I like that she has Declan on the ropes. It’s like Karma has come with a vengeance.” He laughed.
“Declan as a dad.”
“I think he’s taking it seriously.”
“How so?”
“He likes her.”
“Jane said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to keep the baby.”
“I think she will.” He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but then again it wasn’t his choice to make.
“What do you think about that?”
“I think it will be good for Declan. And I like kids.”
Fox smiled. “I’m not surprised, you have a big heart.”
Malcolm didn’t know what to say. Was his father trying to find a place in his supposed big heart? Although he did like the idea of Declan being a father, and Jane seemed like she was strong enough to keep him in line, but what the hell did he know. “I feel like the best place for me is wait-and-see mode.”
“One of the things they say in the program is if you’re not sure what to do, do nothing.”
Which was really interesting. Everyday they’d been here Fox had gone to an AA meeting. He seemed serious about maintaining his sobriety, but Malcolm still couldn’t trust him. There were too many what-ifs. “I’m doing a whole lot of nothing lately.”
“You think you’re never going to write another song don’t you?”
“How did you know?”
“Your mom keeps me in the loop.”
That shouldn’t surprise him. If he were his mom he wasn’t sure he’d be all buddy with his ex, but Cherry wasn’t stupid. She had a lot of control in this situation. “Oh.”
“I didn’t write for almost two years after Yasmeen left. For a long time everything was shit. I was rolling on my past. Maybe because I crawled in a bottle, or thought my life was over. Then grunge came along and ended my career.”
That was sort of true. He made great money on the flashback circuit. Cherry made sure his money was safe and he was doing well financially. He wasn’t hurting at least not in the bank department. “You still got the juice.”
“So do you.”
Malcolm didn’t even know his dad paid attention to his career. “I can’t seem to settle down and do it.”
“Sometimes it’s like that. I hear if you wanted you could be busy producing for the next ten years.”
“That’s a side gig.”
“A good producer can make bad, good. A great producer can make shit, great. You’re great. Cut yourself some slack. You’ve had a year. And things don’t look like they are getting back to normal anytime soon.”
This was the first time Fox had ever given him advise. He didn’t know how to take it or what to make of it. Frankly he wanted to look at the sky and see if pigs were flying. Before he could answer Fox’s phone pinged. He took it out of his pocket. Then stood. “I have to go meet my new keeper.”
“You don’t have to get a coach.”
“I’ve been white knuckling it the last few days.” He smiled. “I think if I’d been left alone the last few days, you would have found me upside down in a tequila bottle when you got home tomorrow.”
Malcolm didn’t know what to say. “Okay, I’ll see you later.”
Malcolm wasn’t sure how long he sat there watching the waves roll on to the shore. He had so much to think about. Everything had brought him to this point. He was watching his best friend fall in love. It didn’t matter that some crazy bitch had him in her sights or that he could actually die. That man was in love. With his sister.
He wasn’t sure how Jane felt, because she played it close, but she had some feelings for Declan. He liked Jane. He didn’t want to. He should hate her. Jane’s mother leaving was the reason Fox was an ass. And the reason he could never be the man he needed him to be. Then it occurred to him, had Yasmeen never run out, he’d never had been born and Declan would never be a father. Life was complicated. It wasn’t getting any less bizarre anytime soon. Somehow some way he was going to have to make peace with the shit that was going on around him.