Chapter Fourteen
Madison
The warm arm across my back wakes me. For a solid minute, I’m in my old world where I’m loved and cared for. When I move, my abs flex. The ache in my stomach brings everything crashing back. Cori and I were raped. Cori is missing two fingers and it’s all because of me.
“Madison,” Moon whispers against my shoulder.
I wish I could pretend to be asleep, but it’s too late for that. He brushes hair off my back and places his hand there. I don’t want to roll over. I don’t want him looking at me. Where are my tears? Where is my anger? Nothingness slams through me, swirling around like a funnel cloud in a dust storm.
Moon rolls me over and then his face blocks my view of the ceiling. “Talk to me, baby, just talk.”
“No,” my croaky voice rasps out.
He cups my jaw, his thumb rubbing my neck. “I love you.”
I close my eyes. I need to say the words back to him; I know I do but they won’t come. He deserves the words. He deserves a woman who is whole. His arms circle me and I’m lifted onto his chest as he sinks back into the mattress. He holds me tight, rubbing his hand over my back.
If only I could cry.
His phone pings beside us and he moves slightly and picks it up. I know all this by sound because I still haven’t opened my eyes to this ugly world.
“I’ll be there momentarily,” he says a few seconds after answering.
We’re rarely disturbed in our room. “Did they find Fernandez and Goose?” I ask after his phone hits the side table.
“No, they weren’t there when the men went in.”
I need them dead, but it’s okay because now I can do it myself. Funny that I don’t feel anger or regret about ending their lives. They just need to die like cockroaches need to die.
“Madison, tell me what happened.”
This time he isn’t asking. That’s Moon. He’s nice up to a point. I open my eyes and look into his blue ones. This close, I can see the silver specks that make them so unique, especially with his dark skin. “Fernandez raped me.” There, it’s out. I have no idea how he’ll deal with it.
He pulls me into his chest and holds me tighter. “He sent me a video when he sent Cori’s finger. I would do anything to take away that pain. I promise he’ll pay and it won’t be a gentle death.” His arms tighten further to the point I can barely breathe. “I love you,” he says again.
My beautiful husband is naked and it’s not affecting me at all. Maybe after rape, nothing affects you. “Are you needed downstairs?” I remind him because I want him out of the room. I need to be alone. I’m still tired, and I need more of whatever Carlo gave me. I just want to sleep.
“They can wait,” Moon says in his official, I’m the boss tone.
“Please, I just need time.” And emotion, and a step back in time so none of this ever happened.
He kisses my cheek and rolls us over so he’s above me. For just a minute my body locks up. This is Moon, I remind myself. He won’t hurt me. I close my eyes again and feel the nothingness surround me. His lips pepper small kisses along my jaw. “I’m here for you. I’ll give you some time, I just can’t guarantee how long. Rest today and tomorrow if needed. We’ll talk at lunch. I’ll have Gabriella bring you breakfast.”
“Just a smoothie, please.” I’m not at all hungry and I don’t think I can hold down solid food. Knowing my husband, he’ll force feed me if needed.
He holds me for another moment and then slips out of bed. I don’t open my eyes until he’s gone. A staring contest with the ceiling begins and doesn’t end until Gabriella brings my breakfast.
“Chiquita, what are you doing in the dark?” she asks after entering the bedroom without knocking. She runs the entire house and has no problem being seen and heard when she thinks it’s necessary.
“I don’t feel well. If you could just leave the smoothie on the nightstand, that would be perfect.”
Spanish spews from her lips, too rapid for me to follow in my current state of not giving a fuck. Then I smell my breakfast and it’s not the smoothie I requested. The scent of bacon slowly fills the room and I do everything I can not to gag.
“I will sit here while you eat and keep you company,” she says in her heavy accent. The accent alone lets me know she’s out of her comfort zone because it’s so thick. Under normal circumstances, I would be praising her food before I even took a bite. If not, I’d be lucky if the food didn’t end up over my head. Gabriella has been with Moon since forever and he rarely calls her out on bossing everyone inside the house. He actually enjoys watching me when I decide to take her on. Not that I ever win, but it does get comical at times.
“I don’t think my stomach will keep the food down,” I tell her honestly.
“The food is here for you and you will at least try to eat. The smoothie is your dessert. I made it with fresh strawberries and those detestable goji berries you like.”
I turn my head and stare at her. “Please, Gabriella, I can’t eat.” From the look on her face she’s about to go into another Spanish tirade. “How is Cori?” I ask to steer her in another direction.
“Poor chiquita. She woke for long enough to eat.” Gabriella’s nose pinches with stern condemnation. “She eats her food and you will eat your food.”
Changing the direction of her thoughts didn’t work. “Leave, Gabriella, I don’t want you in here.” It was heartless, but I have no heart left.
“What did that man do to you?” Her voice is stricken and I think she’s figured it out when I don’t answer. My eyes are still locked on hers and I watch as she wipes away tears. Without asking if she can, she rests her butt beside me on the bed and threads her fingers through my hair. “Does Xavier know?” I’ve never heard her call him by his middle name before.
“Yes,” I answer, glad I can do it with one word.
“This shall pass, princesa. You are strong and you have the heart of your man. He will love you and never stop.”
I close my eyes and allow her hand untangling my hair to soothe me. Maybe it will pass in a hundred years and maybe not. Right now I just want privacy. “Thank you but I need to be alone.”
The bed beside me dips further and then she stands and quietly leaves the room. She doesn’t take the tray and the smell nauseates me. The ceiling and I go back to our staring contest.