Chapter Nineteen
Moon
My world aligns. We have a long road ahead and my wife will charge that road with her head held high. It’s only one of the reasons I love her so damn much. I’ve never known anyone with her strength of will.
I was shocked when Cori entered my office a short time ago and told me to go to my wife. It stunned me when Madison walked out of the bathroom, a cloud of steam following her, and stepped into my arms.
Now she’s on the bed naked and it’s almost like the first time we made love three years ago. I’m nervous. Hell, I’m terrified. I don’t want to hurt or scare her. The need in her dark brown eyes reassures me. She wants me to fuck her not make love, but no matter how we do it, the love is in every stroke of my body into hers.
“Lift your arms and grip the headboard,” I tell her. The smile disappears from her face and a sensual, come hither expression takes over. “Open your legs,” I add while taking my hard cock in my hand. With the other hand, I slide a pillow over and tell her to lift her ass. I wedge the material under her hips before moving to the end of the bed.
Carlo told me vaginal tears heal fast and I see no signs of remaining physical trauma. Her naked body is another matter. The bruises are a hodgepodge of color and I don’t want to hurt her. I also know she’ll tell me if that happens, so I concentrate on the beauty before me.
I could live with this picture every day for the rest of my life: her thighs open; pink, wet lips spread wide; her long legs, rounded hips, and full breasts that fit my hands perfectly. Her pussy swells before my eyes, a physical need for my cock.
She lowers one hand and trails it over her flesh until she reaches her clit. I allow her five seconds to play before shaking my head. My voice comes out gruff with need. “You don’t want to do that. Hands on the headboard.” She actually growls and I feel more secure in what’s about to happen. “Keep your legs open.”
My tie is still resting across her stomach. I walk back around the bed and lift one end, trailing the other over her skin. “I don’t think you’ll be good,” I say. Slowly, I let her know my intent and then tie her hands when she doesn’t stop me. I place her hands back to the brass rails of the headboard. Her fingers curl around the metal and I take my place at the end of the bed again.
Lifting my leg, I press a knee into the mattress and crawl toward the juncture of her thighs. I widen her legs farther and the shuddering sigh that escapes her gorgeous throat hardens my cock further. With her hips propped on the pillow, she’s adjusted perfectly for my needs. Hell, it’s more than a need. Just the thought of this makes my pulse race, proving I’m alive.
She watches me, trusting me to love her without pain or shame. Her body is a gift. Her soul mine for the taking, but that’s not all I want. I want her last breath when we travel to our next existence at death. And each day before that, I want to be the man who fulfills every conceivable desire she could ever have. It’s what she does for me and I’m incredibly blessed to find her in this fucked up world.
Using the fingers of my right hand, I separate her folds to see the swollen nub of her clit.
“You’re killing me,” she huffs into the room.
“That’s not what this is about. Driving you crazy, celebrating your will to survive, and,” I slide my finger up along her silky folds until she moans, “making you mine because Madison Abigail Moon you will always be mine.”
I lower my head and take her clit between my lips, sucking her velvety flesh. Her ass comes off the pillow as she strains to grind every inch of her sweet pussy against my mouth. I take what she offers. When her eyes flicker and shut and her neck strains, I slide one finger deep inside her warmth. Her silky hot channel quivers around my finger. When she fidgets and moans, I add another finger and continue sucking her clit.
“Xavier, please,” she breathes. “I’m going to come.”
“Then come. I’ll be waiting on the other side.” I add a third finger and stretch her wide. This sweet cunt is all mine. Malleable and firm all at once. Created especially for my assault.
Madison comes undone with a loud gasp and a quiver that runs through her body. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. My world is back where it belongs. The sun slides from behind the clouds and my wife’s love is once more out in the open.
Before her pussy stops clenching around my fingers, I remove them and drive my cock into her depths. Her eyes open and they hold so much love. Our gazes lock as I slide in and out of her heat.
“Harder,” she begs, which makes me smile. I live to give her exactly what she wants. We both need this—life validation. She moves to the rhythm of my thrusts. Her hands squeezing the rails so tightly her knuckles turn blue. The pressure builds in my groin, signaling our dance will end soon, though I want it to last forever. I try to slow down, stop the inevitable without success. I arch my back, fiercely driving my cock inside her.
From the noises she makes, to the love in her eyes I know she’s mine and I’m hers. Forever.
She comes again and I’m close behind. The heaviness in my balls ignites and slowly the throbbing centered there travels the length of my cock and I can’t hold back my orgasm. I’ve never thought about having children because of my life but right now, creating a new life from this special moment fills me completely. I collapse half on top of her, unable to roll completely off. My head finds the pillow of her breasts and my ear, her heartbeat. I thought I would never hold her again. Losing Madison for two days shattered me. I listen to the steady thump of her heart proving she’s alive and in my arms. Peace settles over me and I almost drift off with the picture of her holding our child imprinted in my head. We have years ahead of us and someday I’ll ask Madison if she wants to start a family. Someday when the work I do is behind us we might have a chance at normal.
“Xavier?” I lift my groggy head and look at her. She’s more beautiful now than I’ve ever seen her. Hair tussled, lips swollen. “I need to tell you something,” she says sleepily. Her incredible dark eyes look unsure.
“Anything,” I say and kiss her breast before sitting up and untying her hands. I massage her arms and shoulders then lay back down beside her and gathering her into my arms.
She takes her time before gaining the courage to say what she needs to. “I waited for you to save me.”
I die inside, her words a stab directly into my heart. I should have saved her, but she saved herself and killed a man doing it. We made vows the day we were married and I didn’t keep my end of the bargain.
She isn’t finished. “Since becoming an adult, I haven’t relied on anyone. I’ve always been strong and determined, but I allowed myself to be caught by that monster.” Her hands clench into fists and I lift them to my mouth and kiss each finger in turn. “After Fernandez took me, I became the little woman who needs a man to save her.” She runs her hand over my thigh, but it does nothing to comfort me. “That woman wasn’t me. I’ve become so entrenched in your world that I’ve lost part of myself.”
So many thoughts travel through my mind. Is she leaving me? Would I allow her to?
Crazy because the last thing I would ever do is hurt her. The truth is I should have been there. I should have rescued her before Fernandez raped her. She would be safer living anywhere other than in my criminal world. I won’t beg her to stay because I know she’s safer away from this life.
“Are you listening?” she demands with a pinch to my arm when I remain silent.
“I’m not sure what you’re asking.” It’s the truth; I need to know exactly what she’s talking about.
“I run the escort service. I have no duties here at the house because Gabriella handles everything. In a way I’ve become lax. The dangerous life we live hasn’t touched me until now. I know what I can handle and for a long time, I looked away from the part of you I couldn’t face. If your activities were out of sight, they were part of another world.” She places her hand on my heart and presses her palm into my chest. “The thing is, I need to pull my head out of my ass. I need to stand on my own two feet. I was a police officer who could handle whatever situation that came at me. I want that part of me back. I need to stand on my own and do what needs to be done. I should have gotten Cori out sooner. But I waited for you.”
All the guilt that’s been eating me alive swells larger. I pull her in close and kiss the top of her head. “I failed you.”
She actually slaps my hand at her waist and it surprises me. “No, you came for me. You would have been there before either of us died. It’s the part of me that relied on you, no, anyone, to save me. I had everything I needed and I didn’t see it until it was almost too late. It’s the survival instinct. I had it as a cop and I want it back. I want to live fully in your world and not just on the outskirts. You need a working partner. I need to be there for you and understand every nuance of your world. I need to always be prepared for whatever comes our way.” She lays her hands on my jaw and leans into me. “Please understand that I can’t wear blinders any longer.”
My first reaction is a resounding no. But this is Madison, and “no” doesn’t work on her. She’ll always find a way around the answer she doesn’t like. I need to remember how strong she is. She’s aware of the things I’m involved in, but she has hidden herself from the darker side. She was a cop and her heart will always be blue. I’ve curtailed much of my criminal activity since she entered my life. It worked to my benefit even though I didn’t know the outcome when I made the changes. There are still things Madison won’t like and she’d be so much safer walking away. The determined look in her eyes tells me that won’t happen. Even though I know she would be better off, losing her would kill me and everything I have would be wasted without her.
She’s asking for the keys to my world and she deserves access in order to make a decision on staying or going.
“I have a gun shipment held up in New Mexico. I’ve delayed it due to the situation with Fernandez. I don’t have an easy solution for fixing the delay. I need to fly to headquarters in New Mexico to be sure what we ordered is correct and I can’t do that under the current conditions. The guns need to be tested because if there is anything wrong with the shipment, it must be handled immediately.”
To my surprise, a slow grin spreads across her beautiful face and brightens her eyes. “You forget, I’m a gun girl. Testing weapons is right up my ally.”
God, I love her. “We’re staying under lockdown until Fernandez is located.”
She ignores that. “Who is the shipment going to?” she asks instead.
I twirl a piece of her hair between my fingers, thankful she didn’t jump from the bed and demand a divorce. Her hair has dried. It’s messy and perfect in its fountain of tangles. “A village in Mexico. They’re making headway against one of the cartels and need additional resources. I sent twenty men from New Mexico there to train them and fortify their homes.”
Her eyes light up. “You’re not giving them to more criminals. I completely agree with what you’re doing.”
My laughter is half relief and the other half pride. “The last thing I need is to sell my competition guns and have them turn around and use them against us.”
“I love you,” she says simply.
I’ve been waiting days to hear those words and I was beginning to think it would never happen. I lean in so we’re nose to nose. “Not everything I do is good, Madison.”
She moves her hand and tweaks my nipple. “Baby steps. I want to be part of it all. It’s time. I’ve hidden for long enough. Besides, you’re a good man.” Her hand travels up and she pulls my ear because my hair is too short for her to give it a good jerk. “You’re my man and I love you,” she says again.
I kiss her with all the passion she deserves. How I found her is one of life’s biggest mysteries. The kiss moves from lips to tongue and teeth and it’s leading to so much more, when my cell phone rings. Her sigh of frustration almost makes me smile again. “Forget about it,” I whisper while gently kissing her jawline.
“No. See who’s calling,” she insists with a breathy whisper.
With a groan, I reach over her and grab the phone from the nightstand, where I placed it before removing my pants. “It’s the control room,” I say after reading the display.
“Take the call, Moon.”
I click the button and Cal’s voice fills my ear. “Gomez and Miller were attacked at the mall with automatic weapons. We’ve sent two teams to meet them. Hold on,” he says. The phone clicks and I wait. Twenty long seconds later, he comes back on the line. “They’re coming in hot. ETA ten minutes.”
“Are there injuries?”
“They’re alive, no reported injuries right now.”
“I’m coming down.”
Madison jumps from the bed and runs for her closet after I explain what’s going on. “We’re in this together,” she reminds me. “Don’t leave me out.”
Our entire conversation spins through my mind and I can’t forget that she depended on me to save her. I will carry the guilt with me forever. I never want her waiting for me to rescue her again. I want the strong independent woman I fell in love with and married. That’s who she is.
My wife is one hell of a woman.