Jason

Having Zayn close was a miracle. He was safe, and we could see each other though we weren’t calling it dating. The most we’d done so far was kiss. There were a few times we’d come close to doing more, but we always broke it up before anything happened.

Zayn didn’t come to my house, and I didn’t head to the Johnson’s if Mr. Johnson was there. Josh had enrolled in the fire academy, and Dianna was in college studying cosmetology. My parents weren’t happy, but I didn’t care what they wanted. They gave up their right to happiness when they’d tried to take Dianna’s rights from her.

Dad never figured out that Zayn had been sleeping at the church. He still hadn’t said anything to me about me being gay. Mom had mellowed a little but was stilted around me. Halloween was coming up, and there was a dance at school. Mom was trying to get me to take a girl from our school. I said no enough times I didn’t feel the need to keep saying it. Two days before the dance she cornered me.

“You’re taking Elizabeth to the dance,” were the first words out of her mouth.

“No, I’m not. I’m not going to any dance.”

“You are, young man, and you’d best get used to it.”

Brianna walked in and stopped in the doorway. I left, not willing to continue discussing the issue. I was angry that Mom was trying to force me to date girls. I didn’t want to date anyone. Other than Zayn. But I couldn’t tell anyone that. After vacuuming my room and the hallway upstairs, I got on my bike and rode to meet Zayn at the park. It wasn’t the same park where we used to meet. Instead, this was a park between our houses.

When I saw him, he met me with a quick hug and an even quicker glance around to make sure we weren’t being watched.

“Hey, you okay? You seem upset,” Zayn said.

“My mom. She’s trying to get me to date this girl from our church. I don’t want to.”

“Talk about double standards. She won’t even let Dianna date but wants you to date girls.”

“I know. It’s so ridiculous.”

Zayn glanced over his shoulder. “You know, this park isn’t busy at all. We could go behind the tennis courts and kiss.”

I looked around and hopped up, pushing my bike to the tennis courts. Zayn followed, whistling as he walked. We were behind the courts, blocked on one side by a brick building and bushes on the other. He pressed me up against the brick wall, his hands on my waist as he moved in close. He’d grown a few inches since we’d first met, and now he was taller than I was.

I tilted my head back, and he dove in, his tongue twisting with mine. His hands tugged up the hem of my shirt, and his fingers played with the skin covering my abs before he ran them up to my chest. His thumbs grazed over my nipples, and electricity shot through my body. He ended the kiss and watched as he scraped his fingers over my nipples again.

“Zayn,” I said as I panted, my body on fire.

He chuckled and stepped away. “Sorry. I know you’re not ready for sex yet.”

I wiped my hand over my face and shook my head. “If you touch me like that, I’ll be ready.”

Zayn laughed and pulled me close, rubbing his hand down my back to my ass. He squeezed my butt then took a step away. “Not yet. I want it to be special.”

I nodded, thinking about how I wanted our first time to be. I didn’t want it outside or in a bathroom. I wanted us to be in a bed, but that wasn’t going to happen at either one of our houses. I chuckled.

“What are you laughing about?”

“I just thought of the Johnson’s house as yours.”

Zayn’s face screwed up, and he shrugged. “I guess it is. I mean I live there and all.”

“Does she know were together?”

Zayn nodded. “How about your parents?”

“No. I think my mom suspects something. That’s why she wants me to go to the dance with a girl.”

Zayn smiled. “Wouldn’t it be cool if we could go together?”

He made me smile, which was good. I liked having him close. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight before slowly starting to move. I placed my hands on his shoulders and stared into his eyes as he led us in a dance. After almost a minute, I leaned my forehead against his.

“One day, we’ll be dancing together in public.”

I pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “Do you really think so?”

“Of course. I mean, if you want to stay with me.”

I ran my thumb over his lips, thinking about how good he felt in my arms. “We’ve known each other since July. That’s three months. You know how good those three months felt.”

“I like you.”

My heart squeezed as he leaned in closer, brushing his lips over mine. We would be doing more than kissing if we didn’t go do something else physical like play soccer or go for a run.

“Do you have your soccer ball?”

Zayn shook his head. “How about we walk around?”

“Sure.”

We strolled around the park, talking about everything from where we wanted to live when we graduated to how difficult Mr. Henson’s math class was. I was laughing about something he said when I moved in close and wrapped my arm around his shoulder. He sobered quickly, and awareness warmed me. We were trying hard not to do something like kiss or more. A car drove past, and I dropped my arm from around him.

“Um, I wish things were different,” Zayn said.

“Same here. I wish we could walk around town without people freaking out if we kissed or touched. Like now, I’d like to kiss you.”

Zayn stopped walking. I turned to face him. We stared at each other for a long moment. Another car drove past and then another.

“A long time ago, I snuck out and went to a party. My mom never knew. It’s weird how little attention she paid me. Mrs. Johnson has an idea where I am all the time. One night last week I was hungry and got up to eat something. She came stumbling in dressed in sweats and an old T-shirt. She fixed me an egg sandwich. She’s actually—um, she’s really a mom.”

Tears filled Zayn’s eyes. I reached out and touched his cheek. I wanted to pull him into a hug, but we were in the open where anyone could drive by. One tear spilled over and ran down his cheek. It was one of the saddest things I’d ever seen. I reached for him, pulling him into my arms and holding him close. We held onto each other, both of us shaking as tears raced down our cheeks.

Another car drove past, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was my boyfriend. “I love you, Zayn.”

Zayn drew in a shaky breath and leaned back. His eyes were a little red, his face splotchy. “You do?”

“Yes. I love you.”

Zayn’s face scrunched up, and his lips trembled before he pulled me close again, burying his face against my neck. He wasn’t able to say anything because he was crying too hard. A car stopped close by, and a door slammed. I didn’t want to look, but part of me feared it was my mom or dad. But at the moment I didn’t really care. What I cared about was Zayn.

“Zayn, is everything okay?”

It was Mrs. Johnson and concern filled her eyes. Zayn nodded against my neck and didn’t let go. She moved closer and put her hand on Zayn’s shoulder. He glanced up, his lips turning up a little before he let go a strangled sob.

“Zayn, what’s wrong,” Mrs. Johnson asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing.” He shuddered with a sob then pulled me closer again. Mrs. Johnson patted his back and looked directly at me, her eyebrows lifted in question. I gave her a half smile because I couldn’t tell her. This was between the two of us. She was a part of Zayn’s life, but I was his future. Though we were still kids, I knew we were meant to be together.

After a minute or so, Zayn stood tall and wiped his face on his shirt sleeve. He glanced to Mrs. Johnson. “I’m okay.” When his eyes fell on me, I could see the love. His lips turned up, and he nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Mrs. Johnson looked from me to him then back again. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m better than okay,” Zayn said.

I was smiling so big my face hurt. “We’re good.”

“Okay, but you’re totally visible out here in this park. You may want to stop hugging.”

I nodded, and Zayn dropped his arms from around me, wiping his eyes again. He had a smile on his face that made me want to jump for joy.

She pulled Zayn into a hug. “I’m glad to hear you’re both okay. Now then, boys, I think I need your help on Halloween night.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Sure do. I need you two to help set up decorations at my house then pass out candy to the kids that come by.”

“I’m in,” I said in a near shout.

Mrs. Johnson chuckled then lifted her brows at Zayn. “What about you?”

“Sure. It sounds like fun.”

“Good. I’ll see you at home, Zayn. And Jason, come on over, I have some cookies I made earlier today. We can start a decorating plan.”

I nodded and then looked at Zayn. “We’ll walk over.”

“Sure. Have you eaten, Jason?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, come on over. I’ll see you in a few.”

Mrs. Johnson headed back to her car and drove away. I pushed my bike, and Zayn walked beside me, his head turning to look at me every few steps.

“What you said earlier.”

I lifted my brows and smiled. “That I love you.”

“Yes. You know I love you too, right?”

I nodded. “I could see it in your eyes.”

Mr. Johnson wasn’t at home when we arrived at their house. The cookies were great, and it was fun to talk about the decorations. We decided we’d set up on Saturday after work. Halloween was the next Thursday. My family never decorated on the day or gave out candy, so it was something nice for a change.

My parents would probably be angry, but I was okay with them being mad. It wasn’t like they were happy with me, anyway. The next day at school, Elizabeth approached me.

“Well?” She stood with her hands on her hips, her brow cocked up.

“What?” I asked, knowing full well what she wanted to know.

“Are you going to ask me?”

“No. I’m not going to the dance. I’m not asking you or anyone else.”

“But you have to. Your mom said you would ask me.”

I shook my head. “Elizabeth, you don’t want to go to the dance with me.”

“But you’re the only person my mom will allow me to go with.”

“Well, that sounds like something you should discuss with your mother and not me.”

She huffed out a breath and turned around before looking over her shoulder at me. “You’ll regret this, Jason Wooten.”

“I regret a lot of stuff, Elizabeth, but most of the stuff I regret is not being true to myself.”

She spun back. “What does that mean?”

“You’re a very nice person, Elizabeth, and I’m sure one day you’ll find someone who wants to date you, but I’m not that person.”

Her eyes narrowed, and she sneered. “Why don’t you want to date me? What’s wrong with you?”

By now a group of people had gathered around us. I saw Zayn out of the corner of my eyes. If they found out I was gay, I wouldn’t be allowed to see Zayn. Someone would tell my mom. I knew how things worked in school. People gossiped. They told their parents who told other parents.

“Nothing is wrong with me.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed away. The attention must have gotten to her. It was tough being different in school. It didn’t help that she had frizzy hair, didn’t wear makeup, and had glasses. She was a nice person, but I wasn’t ever going to date her.

Zayn came up and rolled his eyes. “Don’t let them force you to admit the truth.”

I chuckled and nodded. “I won’t. So I have to work tonight.”

“I’m working on Saturday morning. They have a large order coming in and want me to work overtime. I won’t be done until close to five.”

“I’ll swing by after I get off work, and we can go grab a burger before we decorate the Johnson’s house.”

His lips curved up in a slow smile. A bell rang, indicating we had about a minute before our next class. “Gotta go.”

“Bye.” I watched as he walked away. My heart was full of love and happiness. He was mine, and I was his. That’s all that mattered.