JACKAL
Fennec foxes are faithful and live with their families.
I arrive at the house to find the front door wide open, and a strange car is in the driveway. My stomach clenches as I run through the door calling Phoenix’s name.
“I’m here! I’m fine!” she calls from the kitchen. I find her on her knees, rooting through a cabinet. She pulls out an old coffee tin and flips off the lid. Inside I see wads of money, a few gold trinkets I can’t make out because she shuts it quickly and looks up at me like she’s been caught.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m in trouble,” she says.
“What do you mean? What kind of trouble?”
She’s on her feet jamming the coffee tin into an open bag on the kitchen table.
“The authorities are coming here.”
“Whoa! Whoa!” I say, grabbing her by the arm. “Come here.” I wrap my arms around her and she lets me but only for a second. “I’ve missed you. What are you talking about?”
It’s the middle of the night, the only time I thought I might get away with seeing her. After the video of Gwen, I had to see her. Nordice tracks me all day long, like a hound following a scent, but “we” had a few drinks tonight and she was sleeping soundly when I got out of there.
Phoenix’s eyes are wild when she looks at me. “They’re questioning everyone from the party. It’s only a matter of time before they come to the house.”
“Gwen’s gone?”
She nods. “She wanted to tell you goodbye, but…”
I swallow hard, my heart heavy. “I wish I’d seen her…all three of them, actually. I’m glad she got out of here, but Foley will have my ass for not knowing where she went. As long as she’s safe. The police can’t prove anything. We’ll just clean the place up; they’ll never know—”
“It’s not the police, Jackal. It’s the SI.”
“What? Why would the Statehead Investigators be coming here?”
She looks at me, mouth open, but nothing comes out.
“Shit,” I say. “Are you for real?” I run a hand through my hair.
She nods.
“Where are your parents?”
“They’re at their other place.”
“Okay,” I say. “That’s good. Who told you?”
She looks away. “Sean.”
Goddamn that piece of shit. I’m going to smash his fucking head in.
“He’s trying to scare you,” I tell her.
“He wouldn’t do that. Sean cares about me.”
“If he cares about you, why didn’t he cover for you?”
She pauses, her fingers caressing a photo frame. “He would have,” she says. “But I wouldn’t agree to his terms.” She shoves the frame into the bag and moves to a drawer, yanking it open.
“And what exactly were his terms?” I ask.
“Just forget about it, Jackal.”
I grab her by the shoulders and spin her around to see tears streaming down her face.
“Tell me,” I say firmly. “Phoenix Moyo, tell me, goddamnit.”
“He wants me to be with him,” she says, not meeting my eyes. “He’d offer me protection if we could be together.”
I grind my teeth, the urge to punch something so strong I squeeze her too hard and she yelps.
“That self-serving son of a bitch.”
Phoenix shrugs. “It is what it is. The SI will be here soon,” she says softly. “I need to get the rest of my things.”
I step aside to allow her access, watching helplessly as she packs up the home she loves.
“If you leave now, while they’re wanting to question you, they’re going to put a bounty on your head.”
“I know,” she says. “Gwen is headed west. To the Green. I’m going after her.”
“You’re going to give up everything? Everything you’ve worked for, to follow a band of outlaws? What about your career, your mothers?” I want to ask—what about me?
She stops what she’s doing and cups my cheek with her hand. Her skin is cool and I close my eyes when she touches me.
“None of it means anything to me, Jackal. My mothers have always been their own unit; they’ll be fine. I understand them more than I ever have, which I’m grateful for...it helps. But Gwen, Rebel, all the other babies—they mean something. The people who can’t help themselves, they mean something to me. I have to do this. This is who I want to be, not some timed-out ballerina with an eating disorder.” She drops her hand from my face and lifts the bag to her shoulder.
“If the SI comes here, they’ll be able to look at their satellite footage and see everything that’s happened in the house,” I say. “Including the conversation we just had about Gwen and where you’re going.”
“I know that,” she says quietly.
“Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I'll be careful.” She turns to me and leans her forehead on my chest. I wrap my arms around her head and lean my nose into her hair.
“When will I see you again?”
“I don’t know,” she says. “I’m not—”
“Phoenix...I love you,” I cut in. My voice is gruffer than I intended and I want to swallow the words back up, but they’re out there now, and I mean them.
She leans back and grins. “I know.”
“Say you love me, little thief.” When she doesn’t answer, I glare at her. “Say it.”
“I’ll wait. It’ll give us a good reason to find each other again.”
I lean down and kiss her neck softly. “Okay,” I say. “I can live with that.”
We stand just outside of the front door, holding hands. In my free hand, I hold the empty gas container. I watch as Phoenix lights a match and bends down to touch it to the gas. The trail we made ignites into a sudden burst of flames, catching the trail and speeding toward the house in a hot-tongued frenzy. The curtains catch first and then the furniture. We watch in silence as the flames lap over the beautiful wood floors and head for the stairs. Phoenix doesn’t close her eyes, not even once. I wouldn’t have been able to watch something I love burn to the ground, but she stands there—shoulders squared, chin up—and takes it all in with boldfaced resolution.
“Phoenix,” I say, unable to tear my eyes away from her. “I’m sorry.”
I hear her sigh before her head swivels to look at me. “Don’t be. My grandfather would agree with what I’m doing. He’d sacrifice a thousand houses to do the right thing.”
“We have to get out of here,” I say. It hurts me to say it because getting out of here means I have to say goodbye to Phoenix, goodbye with no idea of whether we’ll ever have another hello.
She throws her arms around my neck, and I clutch her against me hard.
“Come with me,” she says.
“You’re someone of interest to them, Phoenix. I’m someone they own. If I leave with you, they’ll launch a Regionwide search. We’ll be caught before we get out of the Blue. They won’t let another End Man slip from their grasp that easily.”
She nods, biting back tears. “I know,” she says. “I just…”
“—This will end one day. I’ll get to you. Wait for me.”
She smiles, shaking her head, her ponytail bouncing from side to side. “I’ll try. I have a real solid thing for Aries.”
I scowl at her and she grips my face between her palms.
“I love you,” she says, kissing me. “You’re the reason.”
“The reason for what?” I ask when she lets go and starts to back up.
She smiles at me mischievously.
“The reason for what, Phoenix? Why do you do that?”
She lifts a hand in a little wave and darts toward the car.
It should make me feel like the luckiest man alive because that’s what I am if Phoenix Moyo loves me, but instead, it fills me with such dread, I stagger back as she pulls out of the driveway. When I see the taillights moving down the street, I bend over and get sick in the grass.
Phoenix and Gwen aren’t the only ones who have work to do. Maybe they’re rubbing off on me, maybe I’m bored, but Kasper, Marcus, Foley, and Selfice are still missing. I have my own problem: there hasn't been a pregnancy in the Blue in six weeks. No doubt they’re coming for me next. I know that I can’t sit back and do nothing while everyone I love is doing something.
I get in the car and the engine hums to life. I rub a hand across my chest, wondering what I last ate. I have terrible heartburn; the ache in my chest is almost unbearable. I can hear Phoenix’s voice in my head: That’s not heartburn, you idiot, that’s sadness…