Chapter Sixteen
Jeremy
Her words slam into me, stealing my breath and making the room waver. My lungs scream for air, so I get to my feet and stumble outside. Bitterly cold air rushes over my skin, but it could be a warm bath for all the difference it makes to me. I don’t feel it. I don’t feel anything but shock and pain.
I thought it was likely Calvin’s father was one of the First Men, or one of the younger guys living in the trailers, but it never occurred to me he could’ve been one of the gunmen. What would Frannie think if she knew I planned to raise the child of the man who killed her? Would she hate me? Would she understand? And the most important question.
Would I have signed that birth certificate if I knew?
I don’t have to think about that one. The answer is yes. Because the baby isn’t the problem. I’m nothing like my cold, distant parents, and I have their blood. Blood doesn’t mean anything. Love does. And I love that tiny, squirmy little human more than I ever thought I could love anything.
He belongs to me, not that monster.
My heart finds a normal rhythm again, and I realize how my reaction must’ve affected Melissa. I don’t believe she had anything to do with the shooting. I’ve seen how little control the women of True Life have over their lives. And they aren’t privy to any information about shit like that, so I can’t imagine she knew what they were planning. But I need to hear it from her. I love the fuck out of her, but if she knowingly let twenty-two people die for her cult…I can’t even think about it without bile rising in my throat.
When I walk back in, she’s moved to the couch. She hears me and sits up straight, wiping her eyes. Her shoulders are squared, her chin lifted. I recognize the stance from fighting my own battles. She’s prepared to hear the worst, and to keep control while she bears it.
My voice doesn’t sound like my own, as if I’ve been gargling gravel when I ask. “Did you know what they were planning? Was there any way you could’ve prevented it?”
The room is so quiet I can hear the soft puh sound her lips make as they part. “No, I didn’t know anything until the day after it happened. We weren’t allowed any outside media. I knew something was up because Anthony was on a tear, drinking and screaming, scaring the kids. I told one of the other guys I was going to run after some tampons—none of them would want that chore—and went to the library.
“I had heard Anthony yelling about SWAT and about a den of excess, which was how he always referred to shopping centers. It didn’t take me a few minutes to find out what they did. I ran outside and threw up. They treated us badly, the women, but I never suspected they were capable of a massacre like that. All they ever preached was how we had to spread the word about working together.”
Her tear-filled eyes plead with me to believe her. “They never made a threat to anyone outside the cult. Only us. Only that we couldn’t leave.”
I slide my hand into hers, and my voice softens. “Or what?”
“They didn’t say, exactly. Just ‘no one leaves’.”
“They knew you’d fill in the most terrifying consequences you could imagine.”
Sniffing, she sits back and pulls her knees to her chest. “Well, it worked. They chose people who had no family or who were estranged from them. And by the time anyone would realize they wanted out, they were broke, and had no identification. How do you run from a group of people when you can’t even feed yourself?”
“How did you escape?”
“They didn’t know I had money or a driver’s license. I had an old state I.D card I handed over, then I buried my driver’s license and debit card.”
“You never considered calling the cops?”
Melissa shakes her head. “I don’t know how long you’ve been investigating them, but there’s an officer who belongs. Officer Henreid. He’s recruited a few women. He made it clear we all came there voluntarily, handed over everything voluntarily, and there was no crime in that. Also, we used to grow pot up on the back hill. He showed us a newspaper article where a guy got one year in prison for every plant, and cautioned us if we ever thought about reporting a crime to the police instead of the First Men, we’d all spend the rest of our lives in prison.”
She looks me in the eye. “If I could go back knowing what I know now, I’d do things so differently. I’d run earlier, go to the cops, tell them all I could. But I didn’t know. I didn’t know they were going to hurt anyone.”
I sit beside her and pull her into my arms. “I believe you.”
“I’m so sorry. I was stupid. Even once they started all that First Men bullshit, I didn’t mind because Dillon was one of them, and he said he loved me. And most of the time he acted like it. It wasn’t until Kelly fell out of favor with them because she wouldn’t fuck Maxwell—another of the First Men who did the shooting—that we bumped heads.
“They sent her from the big house down to live in the trailers with the newbies, where there was no power. Her food was so limited I used to sneak her more until Dillon caught me. He…punished me. It was the first time I tried to talk Kelly into running, but she was so afraid. So conditioned by them.”
The vein on my temple thumps as I ask, “How did he punish you?”
She hides her face in me, and my anger grows. She’s ashamed which means this is going to get bad really fast.
“Baby, you never have to tell another soul after this, and I’ll take it to my grave. Whatever he did should be his shame to carry, not yours.”
“He loaned me to Anthony. Said he could fuck some obedience into me. When I wouldn’t do it, they tied me to a bed, and took turns.” The last few words come out in a broken sob. “They laughed and said brothers always share.”
My body trembles with restrained rage as I try to contain it. The last thing she needs is for me to frighten her. “They’re brothers.”
“Yes. The day after Dillon’s death, Anthony told me I belonged to him. Less than a day later, I ran.”
I hug her tighter. “Mel, is there any chance the baby is Anthony’s?”
Her voice is a bit muffled by my shirt, but I can make out the words. “No, the night they tied me to the bed was a month before I ran. I knew I was going to, but I was waiting for a good moment, and trying to convince Kelly to come with me. Calvin was Dillon’s. He forced me again the night before they left for Indianapolis.”
We both fall quiet for a while, as I try to reign in the rage that wants me to go beat that motherfucker Anthony until he’s way past dead. He raped Melissa. No wonder she was so terrified when she saw him in that pizza place. I assumed it was because she left, and he was a leader. Not this.
“This is why I told you to wait to decide what role, if any, you want in Calvin’s life. I didn’t know you lost someone in the shooting, but I knew I’d have to tell you about the cult. That I was a part of it.”
I lift her chin until she’s looking at me. “I’m his father. And I signed the birth certificate so there’s never any doubt. Calvin never has to know. He can grow up without the stigma of being the offspring of a mass murderer. Blood doesn’t make a family, Mel. My parents never loved me. I was just a showpiece, like a fancy piece of furniture, and occasionally, a burden. They were blood, but not family. Us, we’re family, but not blood, and I’m never letting that go.”
Her forehead presses to mine, and she whispers, “I love you.”
“I love you, babe. We’re mired in this shit right now, but not for much longer. I’m going to take care of everything. We will be happy. Because we fucking deserve to be.”
“What are you going to do?” she asks, sitting back to watch my expression.
“I’m going to kill them. The First Men.”
There’s no shock in her reaction, only concern. “But the people?”
“We’re already working on that. We’re returning their money to them. They’ll be free.”
“Jeremy…”
I cup the back of her head. “Don’t ask me to spare them after what they did to you.”
“No, but I don’t want to lose you. You could get caught. I want Calvin to have you for a father.”
“He will. I don’t take risks. I can’t tell you the plan, Mel. This is something for ISH to handle, but I swear to you, everything is going to be okay.”
She cuddles against me. “I know we have more to talk about, but I’m exhausted. Tomorrow?”
I drop a kiss on her cool lips. “Okay. Let’s get some sleep.”
We move to her bed, and she’s asleep in seconds. She doesn’t budge when I grab my phone and call Dare.
“Yeah,” he says, answering in his usual curt way.
“Arrange for three at the disposal site. I don’t know when yet.”
He sighs into the phone. “Jeremy—”
“They raped her, Dare, like fucking animals. This isn’t negotiable. And look into an Officer Henreid. He’s one of them.”
“Understood,” he replies. “We just finished draining the accounts, but only the secondary ones. We have access to their primary, but we don’t want to siphon it yet. They’ll know something is up. They don’t check in on the others very often.”
Once we hang up, I strip down to my underwear, crawl back in bed, and stare at the dark ceiling. It seems like some sort of miracle, like the universe brought this all together. Calvin and Melissa needed to be loved as much as I needed to love. To heal. Calvin won’t have to grow up under the shadow of a serial killer father. No one but Melissa and I ever need to know his true roots.
Twenty-two people lost their lives, leaving a path of countless loved ones with a permanent hole in their lives. So many families torn apart by three psychos with assault rifles. There isn’t a bright side to something like that.
Still, some tiny bit of hope rose from the tragedy. A family that never would’ve been, has found its way together. It’s going to be hard to reconcile that in the years to come, that what I have was brought about by Frannie’s death, but I can just hear her scolding me now.
“What’s the matter with you? Have you always been this dense? You didn’t kill me or wish it this way. It doesn’t matter what you want. You get what life throws at you, dumbass.”
I wrap my arm around Melissa, bury my face in her soft hair, and fall asleep with a tiny smile on my face.
#
The sound of running water wakes me. The bathroom door is open just a crack, enough for me to get a glance of Melissa, up to her neck in a bubble bath. A faint scent of vanilla hangs in the steamy air. She turns and smiles when I tap on the door.
“About time you woke up.”
“If I’d known you were naked in the next room, I’d have fought my way to consciousness.”
The doctors told her she wouldn’t be able to resume sex for four to six weeks, and that the first few times may be uncomfortable. Not as bad as if she’d had a vaginal birth, but still. It’s been four weeks, and I’m dying to get inside of her. We don’t even have to worry about birth control since she had an implant put in after the birth. I went and got tested for everything as well, so we’d know we were both clean. I don’t want to rush her if she isn’t ready, but I can’t resist touching her.
I walk over and sit on the edge of the tub. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips when I grab a little poofy thing and run it up her smooth leg. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look right now?”
“Not as good as you in those boxer briefs. Are you very attached to them? Because this tub is pretty big.” She doesn’t have to ask me twice. Her giggle fills the room as I make quick work of my underwear and slosh water onto the floor in my eagerness to join her.
“This is one of the reasons I love this house. This tub could hold three people.”
I sit across from her, our legs entwined underwater. She sits up a bit and her breasts crest the water line, covered in tiny patches of suds.
She leans in to kiss me, her hands running over my chest. When we break apart, she stares down at the sight of my cock pointing up between us. Her hand runs up my thigh, and she grins when the muscle in my leg jumps. “Finally, it’s all mine and I can do anything active I want with it.”
Her fingers wrap around me, and she gives it a few long, slow strokes. “Is that how you like it?” she murmurs.
I wrap my hand around hers and guide her a bit. “Squeeze a little harder. Fuck yeah, like that.” I let go, and she continues. I love that she isn’t ashamed to ask what I like, and I hope she’ll do the same when I ask her. Everyone likes different things, and some women just expect me to be a mind reader. I’d much rather they speak up and say what isn’t working for them. It’s a new experience for me to know a woman’s mind and heart before I know her body, but that’s exactly where I am.
Her lips are so soft under mine, but her tongue explores with an urgency that fires me right up. A soft gasp leaves her lips when I run my thumb over her nipple. They’re extra sensitive since she’s recently stopped pumping her milk, so I take it easy. One day soon I’m going to bite them and drive her crazy.
My hand travels over her slick skin, and down between her legs. Her sharp intake of breath makes me look up and study her face. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, feels good,” she moans, letting her eyes fall shut when I run my finger over her clit. It’s swollen and begging for attention.
My lips suck at her neck, and she squirms, her breaths increasing, but her hand keeps stroking me.
“Wait,” she breathes. She grabs a nearby folded towel, and shoves it under the water, then moves to plant her knees on it, bending over me.
“Mel,” I groan when she wraps her lips around my cock.
Holy fuck, it’s everything I can do not to come right then. The way she works her tongue around me, and just the sight of her. Her long, shapely back, sloping to two dimples just above that perfect ass.
She gathers her hair with one hand and lays it to one side of her neck. I thread my fingers into it, gripping it in my fist, and she hums when I tug it a little. Stopping her is so fucking hard, but I want to be inside of her…if she’s ready.
She sits up, and I run my fingers over her clit, then tentatively dip one inside. “Is it too early? Do you need to wait before we try?”
“The bleeding stopped a few days ago. I feel fine. We can just take it easy. I don’t know if it’ll hurt, and I can’t guarantee I won’t still bleed a little.”
“Doesn’t bother me.” Her breathing picks up pace as I slide two fingers in and out of her. “But if you want to wait…”
She scoots forward onto my lap and wraps her legs around me. “I’m tired of waiting.” Lifting herself up, she lines up my cock, and sinks down onto it in one slow, steady movement.
Nothing has ever felt so good in my entire life. She’s tight, but to me, it feels like a perfect fit. Her mouth is open as she takes long breaths. “Does it hurt? If it’s too much, we can wait.”
Her hand comes up to cup my jaw, and she plants a soft kiss on my lips. Her gaze stays locked on mine. “It’s so unfair. That gorgeous face and wavy hair, sexy beard and muscled body, and such a good heart. No man should get to have all that, and an amazing cock.”
“You’re what will make me the envy of men everywhere,” I reply, sliding my hands to her hips.
She raises and lowers herself carefully, taking things slow. If she feels any pain, she doesn’t show it. I don’t thrust into her, just let her take the lead. The water laps over onto the floor, but neither of us pays any attention.
She wraps her arms around me, and her wet tits stick to my chest as she grinds against me. “Oh god, so good,” she breathes.
I squeeze her ass cheeks and suck my way up her neck to whisper in her ear. “Come for me, Melissa.”
Her thighs tighten, and I take over, thrusting into her as she drops her head to my shoulder and digs in her teeth. She’s a biter. This girl is fucking perfect. She doesn’t scream, but gives a long, low moan as her body trembles.
It’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard, and it shoves me into my release. Her name jumps from my lips, and my fingers dig into her hips, holding her to me as I come inside her.
We stay that way for a long minute until she says. “The water’s getting cold. My nipples could key a car.”
Grinning down, I tweak one of them. “Yeah, we should stay here forever.”