Chapter 19
Their life had been sailing along, somewhat blissfully in the last weeks. Christmas had been a wonderful time of family and friends and celebrating both the Bear Bowl win and, of course, the new baby. Everyone was overjoyed to meet Jocelyn.
Even Sam had finally relented. The morning after he’d come to see them, there had been an envelope under the door. It was the signed divorce papers. He’d written a note to her explaining how he’d heard their conversation after he left and realized that he couldn’t give her what she wanted and that Gabe was right for her. He wished them both well.
The divorce was now final and things seemed to be getting better and better. In the background, though, this moment had been lurking.
It had taken more than six weeks for the large envelope to make its way back to them. Carolyn had gone out to get the mail that day and now she stared down at it, her hands shaking.
She hurried inside and called out for Gabe. He was lying on his stomach on the floor, playing with Jocelyn. He looked up as she entered the room.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She didn’t have to say anything. She held up the envelope. He got to his feet, his face growing paler by the minute.
He came to her and took it out of her hands.
She expected him to open it. But he set it down on the table and took her hands instead.
“Carolyn, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think I made this decision a long time ago—no, I know I did, but I had to wait and—” He stopped to take a deep breath. He was shaking and it made her even more nervous. “Things got busy and I had to wait for my first paycheck to clear, and that’s the only reason I didn’t do this sooner. I guess was thinking I had more time. I feel like an idiot now, for waiting, but…”
He got down on one knee and held her hand in both of his.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get a ring. I’ll take you to pick one out and we’ll get the nicest ring we can find. I wanted to do this better. I’m sorry. Time just went so fast—”
“Gabe.”
He closed his mouth and gave her a thin smile.
“Are you trying to propose?” She laughed and so did he.
“I am.” He took in another breath and blew it out in a huff. “I want you to know that no matter what’s inside that envelope, I love you, and I love Jocelyn. Even if she’s not biologically mine, she’s mine. I want to be with you forever, and whether it’s as her father or step father, I want to be in Jocelyn’s forever, too, and however more little beasts we decide to have. Carolyn, will you marry me?”
She hesitated. She chewed on her lip, unsure what to say. She wanted him, of course, but she was sure that no matter what he said, he wouldn’t stick around if the envelope said Jocelyn wasn’t his. She didn’t want to trap him.
“Maybe we should open the envelope,” she said.
“Not until you answer me.” He squeezed her hands. “The results won’t change my mind. Will they change yours?”
She shook her head. “I just don’t want you to feel stuck if—”
“Carolyn. It does not matter whose DNA she has. I want you and her forever.”
“Okay. Then, yes.”
He stood and hugged her tight and kissed her.
“But we need to open the envelope,” she said.
“Let’s get it over with.”
He watched her, his face giving away just how nervous he was. Did her expression look like that, too? Like she was about to throw up? She picked up the envelope again and slid her finger carefully under the flap to open it. She pulled out the paper and read the results.
Carolyn met Gabe’s eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
His shoulders slumped. She thought he was going to cry. “It’s okay. I wish it were different, but nothing has to change.”
He sat down on the floor and picked up the ball he had been rolling to Jocelyn. His smile had gone, though, and he looked to be fighting tears.
“Do you want to go ring shopping later?” he asked. “Might be good to get out and walk around the mall.”
“Gabe, you don’t have to do this.”
He looked up at her. “Do what?”
“You can change your mind. You don’t have to marry me.”
“I said it didn’t matter and it doesn’t. We’ll just hire the best lawyer we can to make sure Kenny doesn’t take too much time away from us. And when she is with him, that’ll give us some time alone.” He voice broke toward the end and she saw him quickly wipe away a tear.
“Are you really sure?” she asked.
He nodded and his face crumpled. “I love you. This hurts so much, but it doesn’t change how much I love either of you.”
She sat beside him and hugged him. But when he broke into sobs, she scrambled back to her feet and picked up the envelope.
“Stop, please,” she said. “I want you to look at this.”
She handed it to him.
He refused to take it. “I already know what it says.”
“Please.”
He finally took it and looked down at the paper with the results. His head snapped back up to meet her eyes. “Wait a second.”
Her mouth pulled into a sad smile.
“Am I looking at this right? This says that I’m her father.”
Carolyn nodded slowly. “You are.”
He pulled together his eyebrows. “What the hell? Why did you say—”
“I needed to know for sure. I needed to know that you meant what you said and that you really did love us. And now I know.” Now it was her turn to break into sobs.
He came and put his arms around her. “I can’t believe you did that me. Geez.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to make sure.”
He squeezed her tighter. “She’s really mine. I can’t believe it.” He chuckled. “In all the times I’ve been hit on the field or injured, in my whole life when I’ve been dumped or insulted, the only thing worse than the pain I just felt was Austin’s death. It was like I’d lost her, too. That was a horrible two minutes.”
“I’m sorry. I really am.”
“I know. It’s okay. I’m so relieved. I need to sit down.”
He sat hard on the sofa. He was even paler now than he had been before.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded and bent down to put his head between his knees. “Too many strong emotions all at once.”
She sat beside him and rubbed his back. Jocelyn made a gurgling noise and looked up at him. She kicked the ball with her foot and it rolled right to him.
“Look at that,” he said. “She’s already a kicker.”
“She’s a star. Just like her daddy.”
“She’s also due for a nap,” Gabe said. His mouth stretched into a wide smile. He reached over and cupped her breast.
“It’s too soon,” she said, but she felt the desire stirring in her. She wanted him so badly. There had been plenty of fooling around. As much as they were allowed to do without actually having sex. But that’s what she wanted the most.
“Your appointment is tomorrow. One day can’t affect things, can it?” He kissed her, tugging on her lip with his teeth.
“Mmm.” She closed her eyes and kissed him. As the kiss heated up, so did her body. He was right. What difference could one day make? She needed him now. “The baby,” she muttered around his lips.
“One sec.” He pulled away from her and scooped Jocelyn up. He took her into her room.
While he was out of sight, Carolyn quickly yanked off her top. She was a little nervous. So much had happened to her body during the birth. Would it hurt? Her breasts were still so sensitive.
He came back out to the living room and grinned when he saw her in just her bra. “I like this look.”
He came to her and they resumed kissing. She pulled his shirt over his head and he released her bra. He knew to be careful with her breasts. Many nights, he had fondled her while she used her hand on him. He gently pinched her nipples and tugged slightly. Though it was easy to make them hurt, her nipples were so sensitive that just this movement sent waves of pleasure through her body.
She slipped out of her pants and he did the same. She lay back on the couch and motioned for him to climb on top of her. He rubbed his hard dick against her panties, her wetness seeping through.
“I want to be inside you so bad,” he moaned in her ear.
“Just… be careful, okay? It might hurt.”
“I will.” He pulled back to stare into her eyes, smoothing her hair back. “Tell me if anything hurts.”
She nodded and he slid her panties down. He rubbed his cock between her lips, covering himself in her wetness. They continued to kiss and he pinched her nipples as he pressed against her. She was so hot, she couldn’t wait any longer.
“Okay,” she breathed. “I’m ready.”
“You sure?”
“Yes!”
He pulled his mouth into a half smile. “Okay, okay.”
He moved slowly, pressing in just the head of his dick first. He stopped to look at her. It didn’t hurt, so she nodded. He pressed farther until he was fully inside her and paused again. It didn’t hurt, but things did feel tight. Like when she went long stretches without having sex.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded and tugged on his earlobe with her teeth. He groaned and started moving in and out of her slowly. So slowly. Too slowly. After a few minutes, she whispered to him, “Faster.”
He sped up and she felt her orgasm building fast. It had been so long and she couldn’t contain it. She cried out as she came. He pushed into her harder, speeding up even more until he came, too, moaning into her ear.
“Oh God,” he said, his arms shaking. “That was so good.”
“Mmmm,” was all she could manage. There was a slightly cramping in her stomach, but overall, it hadn’t hurt. She was relieved. She missed having sex with him. Her stay in the hospital, then the weeks of waiting after had all stretched into many months of no intimacy of this sort.
Her heart felt so warm that tears came to her eyes.
“What’s wrong? Did it hurt?”
She shook her head. “I missed this. I missed being close to you like this.”
“Me too.” He kissed her and lay his head on her chest. “I love you.”
“I love you.” She ran her fingers through his hair until they heard a small cry come from Jocelyn’s room.
He didn’t hesitate. He jumped up and pulled on his pants, then came back to the living room holding the baby against his bare chest.
“Now, that’s a view I like,” she said.
He sat beside her and she took a long look at her daughter and her future husband, feeling more content than she had in a long time.