Eden
BY THE TIME KNIGHT SHOWS up at my door and lets himself in, as if he owns the damn place, I’m already running twenty minutes behind schedule.
It’s infuriating.
He knew damn well ahead of time that I was starting back at the massage parlor this morning now that my father is back to take over his crew, yet he decided to take his precious time getting here as if it was the least important thing on his schedule today.
It doesn’t surprise me one bit.
“You told me you were on the way over an hour ago. What the hell, Knight. This is not acceptable. Be here on time or see your son when I get off work. I can’t be late again because of you.”
He flashes me a cocky grin and leans against the door, crossing his huge arms. “Oh, calm down, Eden. If you lose your job at the parlor, you know damn well that daddy dearest will give you a job on one of his crews. Now, where’s my son? I want to at least see him for a few minutes before you kick me out.”
I let out a frustrated breath and point down the hall, fighting with everything in me not to lose my cool and scream at him. “He’s in his room grabbing his backpack to go to the babysitter’s. You have five minutes to say hi and don’t you ever give me that shit again about me working for my father because you couldn’t be here on time. If I wanted to work with my father, I would’ve chose to do so years ago. So be on time for now on because I won’t wait next time.”
“Damn, baby. Chill. You know I have a fight tonight. I was training late last night and had a hard time getting up. Now is the only time I can visit him today. Why the fuck are you always so uptight?”
“Because of you,” I whisper yell, while pointing at his firm chest. “And watch your mouth. Alec can hear you. You don’t think your deep voice carries in this house? You will show respect when you’re in my home or you won’t step foot inside again.”
“Daddy! Daddy!” We both look over just in time to see Alec rush down the hall and jump into Knight’s arms. “I didn’t think you were coming to see me. Mommy said we were about to leave.”
“Of course, I was coming to see you, bud.” Knight bends down to set Alec back down to his feet, before giving him a frowny face and messing up his blonde hair. “But we have to make it fast because your mommy is rushing us. Says we only have a minute. You know how she gets.”
Ugh. You son of a bitch.
He always finds some way to put the blame on me. Never fails, but I refuse to have this discussion in front of my son.
“But I want to spend time with you, daddy” Alec whines, while tugging on Knight’s jacket. “Can’t I just stay with you today? I’ll be good. I promise. I have games and stuff in my bag.”
Knight shakes his head and reaches out to grab Alec’s chin to look him in the eyes. “Sorry, buddy. Not today. Daddy’s busy.”
I can practically see Alec’s five-year old little heart shatter into a thousand pieces when he grabs the straps of his backpack and looks down at the ground, defeated.
“Busy,” I mutter. “Just like every other time your son asks to spend the day with you. You need to get your priorities straight. You only see him once a week for twenty minutes if he’s lucky.”
My heart aches as I walk over and wrap my arms around Alec to comfort him. I hate seeing the disappointment on his face over and over again, each week. It never stops when it comes to his shitty father and it only makes me loath Knight more. “It’s okay, sweetie. Hannah is excited for you to come see her today. I promise you’ll have lots of fun with her. You always do.”
“I know, mommy,” Alec mutters against my stomach, while wiping at his wet eyes. “I guess. But I never get to see daddy. It’s no fair. I want to see him.”
“I know, baby.” I kiss the top of his head, before rubbing it and forcing a smile. “Why don’t you give your daddy a hug and then go put your bag in the jeep. I’ll be out in a second. Okay, baby boy.”
Without a word, Alec walks over and wraps his arms around Knight, holding onto him as if he never wants to let go. “Bye, daddy. I miss you today.”
“Bye, little guy.” He rubs the top of Alec’s head, before brushing his thumb under his eye to wipe his tear away. “Daddy loves you and will see you soon. Don’t cry. You’re a big boy now.”
“Okay. Love you too, daddy,” he whispers, before walking away.
I wait until Alec is outside, before I lose it on Knight.
“The way you treat your son is bullshit!” I slam my keys down onto the counter and run my hands down my face in frustration. “You can treat me like shit all you want. You have for the last seven years, but you will not do the same to my son. He depends on you. Be a fucking father for once. Put him before everything else, like a real man should. Show him you love him.” I stop and release a long breath, my chest aching. “Dammit, Knight. You’re breaking him down, little by little and soon he’s going to stop trusting people. He barely lets people in as it is. He needs you and you know it. Show him you need him too.”
“Shut the fuck up, Eden,” he growls out, before punching the wall. “I don’t have to listen to this shit anymore. Your fucking mouth is only a reminder of why I was never happy with you. You wanna know why I cheated over and over again? Why I never came home after a fight? Well, listen to your mouth and there’s your answer.”
“Oh yeah,” I yell out. “How’s my mouth for you now? Get. The. Fuck. Out.” I point at the door with a shaky hand, fighting like hell not to burst into tears of hate and anger. “Leave the child support money and go. Now.”
My whole body is shaking in anger at this point. I’ve never met someone in my entire life that can piss me off as much as Knight can. I wouldn’t even care about the child support money if it hasn’t been over six months since he’s paid any.
“I’ll have it for you in two weeks when I win my big fight. If you want it . . .” He steps into my breathing space and gives me a hard look as if to intimidate me. It has me taking a step back and sucking in a breath as his strong hands grip my waist when he speaks. “Then you can fucking come get it. I’m not being a little bitch and bringing it to you.”
With that, he walks out the door and jumps into his car, making a huge scene as he pulls out of the driveway.
My heart is racing as I stand here and grip the counter. I will not fucking cry anymore. Not even out of anger will I allow that piece of shit to have my tears.
I take a few seconds to calm down and get myself back together, before I join Alec in the jeep.
He’s sitting in the back, playing on his Nintendo 3DS as if he’s already gotten over his father letting him down for the hundredth time this week.
I don’t know how Knight does it. I feel guilty every single time I leave my son when it’s for my own pleasure. Which is exactly why last night was so uncomfortable for me.
If it wasn’t for Joni begging me to come, until I said yes, then I would’ve never went to some party to ogle over some male entertainers. That’s just not what’s important in my life right now. My son has top priority and always will.
I thought spending the whole night texting Hannah to check in on Alec would make me feel less guilty about leaving him, but it didn’t.
All it took was a few seconds of enjoyment as one of the strippers practically fucked me against a wall, to make me lose my shit and run out of there, feeling like shit.
Made me feel like Knight.
That’s the last thing I’ll do to my son.
“Ready, mommy? Hannah is waiting for me. I want to show her my new game.” He starts bouncing around, making all kinds of sound effects for his game. “I did it! I did it! I beat him.”
I nod my head and smile at him through the rearview mirror. “Good job, baby. Let’s go before mommy is really late.”
I wish like hell I could be as strong as that kid. I try like heck to protect him, but sometimes I wish there was someone who could protect me and make me believe that everything in the world is going to be A-Okay.
Someone who could make us both believe, but I have my doubts of that ever happening.
Especially with Knight in my life.
As soon as we pull up in front of Hannah’s house, Alec jumps out, dragging his backpack behind him in excitement.
Hannah is already sitting outside on the front porch, waiting on him like she said she’d be.
She flashes us both a huge smile and bends down to talk to Alec once he reaches the top step. “I’ve got a great day planned for us, kid. But you have to let me beat you in your new game first. Deal?”
Alec smiles and shakes his head. “I can’t do that! I’m really good! I don’t think I can lose.”
I stand back and watch as Alec begins looking around as if he’s searching for someone.
“Is he here? Is he here?”
Hannah laughs and stands up. “Not today, buddy. It’s not Monday.”
“It isn’t?” He tilts his head. “What day is it?”
“Saturday. You’ll see him the next time you’re here. I promise. Now give your mommy hugs and kisses so she can go to work and we can play this new game of yours.” She pats his butt. “Hurry! Hurry!”
Laughing, Alec runs at me, throwing his little arms around my neck, squeezing. “Love you, mommy! I gotta go!”
I kiss his nose and smile. “Love you too, baby. Be good for Hannah, you hear me?”
He nods his head. “Yup! I’m always good. Promise. Come on, Hannah!”
“Who’s he talking about?” I question with a smile once Alec runs through the front door in excitement. “He has a friend that comes over?”
“No, just my older brother Hunter I told you about,” Hannah says with a smile. “He still brings Alec pancakes every Monday morning. They’ve become fast friends, which surprises me since it took so long for him to warm up to me. That’s my brother though. Everyone loves him. They have fun together.”
“That’s nice of your brother to bring him pancakes still after all this time. They are his favorite.” I find myself smiling at the idea that her brother is nice enough to do something like that. But I also find myself a little sad at the knowledge that this guy does something Knight isn’t even capable of doing for his own child.
The last thing I want is for him to get attached to another man in his life that someday won’t be there anymore.
“But don’t worry. He never stays longer than an hour each week. It’s usually just me here. He’s a pretty busy guy.”
“I trust you, Hannah. You take good care of him and he cares about you. I’m not worried.”
“Hannah! Hurry! Come on!”
“I gotta go,” she holds the door open and winks. “The kid’s calling and I’ve got to make sure I beat him. Losing is getting pretty embarrassing.”
“Good luck. He’s already beat me ten times this week, even though I’m not even sure we’re actually playing against each other.” I laugh and pull out my phone, my stomach dropping when I see it’s my work calling. “Shit, I’ve gotta run. Thank you!”
I cuss under my breath all the way to my jeep as I jump inside and quickly answer my phone, out of breath.
“I’m on my way. I’m so sorry. I had to wait for that asshole son of a bitch. He showed up right when I was about to leave . . .
“You’re fine,” Riley says with a laugh. “Just wanted to make sure you’ll be here in time for your first appointment. I have you booked at eight. If not I was going to call them and try to set it back a bit for you.”
“Yes,” I say quickly. “I’ll be there in twelve minutes. Thank you so much. I owe you. I promise I’ll make up for it.”
Relief washes over me as I hang up the phone and take a few seconds to calm down and catch my breath.
If it weren’t for Riley being my boss, I don’t know what I’d do. She’s been lenient on me far too many times in the past, but taking advantage of her kindness is the last thing I want to do.
And Knight keeps pushing me to do that, making me feel like total crap.
So I’ll do everything in my power to prove to her over and over again just how much I appreciate this job.
Showing appreciation is very important to me. It’s something Knight has never shown me over the years, yet I was stupid enough to let him in anyway. It only makes it more important that I show it to others.
I promise to be better than him in every possible way I can. Especially when it comes to my son.
And when I’m ready to let another man in mine and Alec’s lives, you better believe, I’ll make sure he’s better than Knight in every way too . . .