Chapter 12

Cobweb cooter.

-Things you don’t want to hear about on your wedding day

Janie

Two months later

The day before the wedding

My father was staring at me from across the dinner table.

“What?”

“You’re sure about this?” he asked.

I looked away.

I wasn’t sure about anything.

Not one single thing.

Well, that was a lie.

I was sure of one thing.

I kept holding out hope that Rafe would stop me, but he hadn’t.

I’d seen him multiple times since the day that Tegan had proposed and still nothing.

He didn’t remember me, I couldn’t tell him who we were to each other, and every time he stared at me like he didn’t know me, my heart would break just a little more.

I knew I was making a mistake with Tegan, but honestly, I kept hoping that Rafe would suddenly remember everything we had and stop me.

Yet he didn’t.

And tomorrow I was supposed to be marrying a man that I didn’t love.

It was stupid, childish, and the worst decision of my life.

Yet I kept wishing that Rafe would come around. That he’d remember. But it never freaking happened.

And it sucked.

I was so stupid.

But I wouldn’t give up hope. I wouldn’t.

My last-ditch effort had been sending him a freakin’ invitation to the wedding…and then he’d RSVP’d. For two.

Him and his plus one—his fiancé.

Which led to now.

Tomorrow was the wedding.

In twelve short hours, I would be marrying a man that I didn’t love.

I would be forever attached to someone because I kept thinking that if Rafe knew that I was marrying another man, surely his male instincts would kick in and he’d remember that he wanted me.

Remember that I was the only woman for him.

“Janie.”

I looked up to find my father staring at me like he knew the dilemma that was currently working its way through my mind.

“Yeah?” I croaked.

“If you have even an inkling of a doubt, you should stop this,” he stated.

I looked down at the table.

My problem was that if I couldn’t have Rafe, I didn’t see why I would ever want anybody else.

Anybody would always be second best to him.

Always.

So, what did it matter who I married when that person wasn’t ever going to be Rafe?

“What are you ordering?” I changed the subject.

I’d never felt like I was making a terrible decision—at least truly—until that very second when I saw my father’s face fall and fill with disappointment.

***

James

“Who gives this woman?” the preacher called, looking directly at me.

I looked over at my wife, Shiloh, and stared.

She shook her head, telling me without words not to put voice to the concerns that were rolling through me.

This all had happened too fast.

She wasn’t supposed to grow up this fast. She wasn’t supposed to get married. She wasn’t supposed to marry someone that I didn’t approve of. She wasn’t supposed to leave me!

Which would be what she was doing.

Janie didn’t know that her husband and I despised each other. She didn’t know that by marrying him, she was betraying me.

And I would forever put that mask on each time he walked in the room if it made her happy.

The thing was, I wasn’t sure that she was happy.

Not with the way her eyes kept straying to the twelfth row, fourth seat in. Not with the way she kept her eyes on me more than she did her husband.

Not with the way this whole entire thing just felt like the worst possible idea in the universe.

“I do,” I said softly.

So softly, in fact, that the preacher had to strain to hear what I was saying.

Tegan reached to take Janie’s hand, and it took everything I had inside of me to let her go.

Janie frowned as she stared at me with worry in her eyes, causing me to take a deep breath and take a step back.

Taking another breath, I turned on my heels and walked to my chair, not looking up again until it was done.

***

Rafe

My gut felt like I had a lead balloon in it as I stared at Janie.

She had on a white dress—something I wouldn’t have expected from her. It wasn’t her style.

The dress was beautiful, yes, but she didn’t look the least bit comfortable in it. Nor did she look happy to be marrying the man at her side.

The man who looked as if he was holding onto her for dear life.

His hand was clenched around hers, and I could see her skin bunched up from where he’d gripped her hand so hard.

Janie looked at me twice, and each time she did my body felt like she was jerking at invisible strings attached to my heart.

She wanted me to do something. She was waiting.

I had a feeling, at least.

Each time I contemplated standing up. Each time I had to talk myself down.

She was marrying a cop. She was better off where she was going to be.

She’d have the picket fence, two-story house with the dog and the kids.

She’d have everything she ever wanted. Everything that I couldn’t offer her.

What did I have to offer that Tegan didn’t? Nothing, that’s what.

I had a car and a bike that were paid for. I had a few other safe houses that I never lived in—one that I hadn’t even been to in well over a year. Then there was my job—a job that continuously put me into dangerous situations.

I did stuff to some people that didn’t like me meddling in their business.

And mostly, I was just making fucking excuses.

It all boiled down to the fact that I was goddamn pissed.

I was pissed that she was hiding something from me. I was pissed that nobody would tell me what was going on and why I felt this connection with her.

I was upset that she was treating me like everybody else.

I knew we had something, yet I felt betrayed that she was hiding it.

My stomach roiled when I heard the preacher ask, “Are there any objections?”

I got up calmly, walked down the aisle, and straight out of the church, not once looking back.

***

Janie

It took one single look at him, seeing the betrayal in his eyes directed at me, that made me realize that Rafe was gone out of my life for good.