Chapter 21

Lawson

“Damn, you’re quick.”

I find myself at ease with Jaxon’s fatherly clap on my shoulder.

“Quick?” Diego snorts from the other side of the garage. “The boy’s a natural around these machines.”

“He sure as hell didn’t leave much work for tomorrow,” Shadow adds.

I frown. Knowing I need more work to pay Jaxon back, but going slow just for the sake of wasting time isn’t something I’ll do either.

“There’s plenty more where that came from,” Diego says with a nod before walking out of the garage.

“Not easy to impress Prez,” Shadow says with a quick nod before heading out of the garage.

“Not easy to impress Shadow either,” Jaxon says in a low voice. “Finished up community service this morning. GED test is taken and passed. Fees are paid. You’re finished.”

“Not yet,” I mutter, sure there are still hoops to jump through.

“Sign this,” he says pulling a small stack of rolled paper from his back pocket.

I look down, recognizing the probation discharge from Navajo County. The PO back in Texas had shown it to me when I was first placed at the boot camp.

“Your light at the end of the tunnel,” he’d told me. “Something to work toward.”

I take the pen he offers. “I’ll FedEx it to them, and they’ll send official copies signed by the judge no later than two weeks from now.”

I sign and hand it back to him. He signs it and puts it back in his pocket.

“Relieved?” He slaps me on the back again.

“More than you could ever know,” I confess.

He shakes his head. “I know exactly how it feels to cut those kinds of chains off.”

I tilt my head, but he just smiles and walks away. Juvenile probation? Maybe we’re more alike than I want to admit.

“Oh, I forgot,” he says sticking his head back around the door. “Dinner is in an hour. Be quiet when you head up, Delilah isn’t feeling well, so she’s napping.”

I nod but rush to the house. She didn’t mention feeling unwell earlier. I couldn’t keep my mouth off of her today at the animal shelter, and I feel fine.

Jaxon is already back in the house talking to Rob in the kitchen. Bolting up the stairs, I find her door locked. My light tap goes unanswered, so I decide to take a shower. If she’s sick, I want to hold her, but ruining her sheets with grease stains won’t go over very well.

By the time I get out of the shower, I’m met with glares from Samson in the hallway. He may be messing around with Kennedy now, but the sting of rejection from Rachel will hurt for a while.

“You need to stay the fuck away from my sister,” he seethes but doesn’t push himself away from the wall and into my path.

I huff, annoyed, but not wanting to engage with him. I have other plans for my evening, and it doesn’t include beating his ass. That would put a damper on my life here.

“I don’t need some boy telling me what to do.” I walk past him toward my bedroom. The former softness of my towel becomes a harsh scrape on my head as I do my best to calm down. Backing down from confrontation isn’t easy for me.

“I’m a fucking man.” I snort and continue to my room, but think better of walking away without saying my piece.

“If you’re a man then that makes Delilah a woman.”

He shakes his head.

“So that means,” I continue. “That she can make her own decisions.”

I hear his fist slam against the wall as I close myself in my bedroom. A sense of calming relief washes over me from all but admitting that there’s something building between Samson’s twin and me. I want everyone to know, but she hasn’t mentioned bringing our feelings to light. I have to defer to her in this situation because she knows her family better than I do. I’m ready when she’s ready.

Samson is gone from the hall when I step out. Delilah’s door is still locked, but the sun is just now going down. Even a locked bedroom door isn’t going to keep me from comforting her while she’s ill.

I head downstairs, just in time to see everyone sitting down at the table for dinner. Jaxon may be a hardened biker covered from head to toe in tattoos, but he’s the best fucking cook I’ve ever encountered.

“Chicken alfredo,” Drew says with a lopsided grin. “Your favorite.”

I smile wide, ignoring the glare from Samson on the other side of the table. “Looks great.”

Jaxon nods, the delight of my praise is barely hidden behind his eyes.

“Where’s D?” Rob asks with a smacking kiss on Jaxon’s forehead before he sits down.

“Not feeling well,” Jaxon answers, handing the salad bowl to Drew.

“That time of the month? She always gets like this.” Rob looks at his husband for verification.

Drew and Samson groan at the female issue conversation. “Really, Pop? At the dinner table?”

“It’s a fact of life, Sam. Pass the chicken?”

I hand Rob the platter of juicy chicken breasts, doing my best to keep my eyes from the stairs leading up to the girl I’m obsessed over. Girl problems are something I have no issue with. Mom always needed painkillers and the heating pad, so this is definitely something in my wheelhouse.

I rush through dinner, drawing glances from both Jaxon and Rob. The food is delicious, but my concentration is elsewhere.

I mention being tired from a full day at the shelter and in the shop, and Rob excuses me from the table without an issue.

Longingly, I eye Delilah’s door before closing myself in my own empty bedroom. I hate that I have to wait what will end up being hours for everyone to be asleep. Drew may suspect that Delilah and I have been sneaking around, but I won’t confirm his suspicions by blatantly going to her while the sun is still up.

I shoot off numerous texts, but they go unread. She’s more than likely asleep, resting like her dads said she was.

Head hung low, Drew walks into the room, phone in hand.

“What’s wrong?” I sit up from my nap on my bottom bunk.

He shakes his head, clearing his throat but doesn’t speak. He strips out of his jeans and t-shirt and crawls up into his bed.

I wait him out, but the time ticks slowly. My mind races with things that can cause his normally carefree personality to act like he’s just watched his puppy get run over on the highway.

“I fucked up,” he finally admits.

“You’re fifteen. How bad can it be?”

“I sent a message to Aunt Kathy.”

“Your dad’s sister on the East Coast?” My brows draw together. He never has wanted anything to do with them.

“Yeah.” His voice is shaky, and I can tell he’s on the verge of tears.

I want to get out of bed and reach for him, but he’s just as stubborn as I am. Doing that will make him lockdown, and we’ll never get to the source of his pain.

“I just wanted to let her know about Mom. I know they hate her—”

“They never hated her,” I cajole. “They were angry about Carl and how she allowed him to treat her.”

He clears his throat again, but this time I can tell he’s crying.

“Just get it out,” I urge.

“She wants me to move in with her and Uncle Pete.”

I shake my head. “No way,” I hiss. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“They’re my family.” I despise the resigned tone of his voice.

“I’m your family,” I spit.

“I’m a minor. I don’t want to go. I love it here.”

The girl I’m falling in love with is here.

“But they’re blood, and Jaxon and Rob aren’t related to me.”

“Did they threaten you?”

“No,” he defends. “I want to be near my family. You have yours now, and I w-want that, too.”

Deep breath in, slow breath out.

“I don’t want to keep you from your family,” I admit. “I’ll just have to come with you.”

“You will?” I hear the relief in his voice.

“I go where you go.”

Can a heart actually break, tear apart and die inside of your chest? With a rough palm, I rub my hand over the aching part in my soul. It does nothing to alleviate the burn that’s starting to build.

“Your dad is here.”

“My brother will be there. You’re my responsibility no matter the sacrifice for me.”

The quiet crying begins anew. Squeezing my eyes shut, I let him cry for both of us.

My fists clench at hearing his anguish, but at the same time I’m pissed that the second my life begins to look up, it’s turning completely upside down again.

“When will they be here?”

There has to be time. Time for Delilah and I to plan; time for me to assure her that things will be okay between us.

“School starts next week in Fall River.”

No.

“They’ll be here tomorrow.”

Shattered. Broken. Left for purgatory.

It’s not enough time to assure her that things will work out.

Long distance relationships aren’t that bad my mind says in an attempt to convince me. We can make it work. She’ll wait for me if I ask.

How the fuck can I ask her that? How can I demand she put her life on hold for me?

The answer is simple.

I can’t.