After taking the last final of my senior year, I walk toward the quad and I do one final thing. I fist pump the air and shake my ass while laughing because Echo forced me into it and I’m not feeling embarrassed.
My friends slow clap for me. And then I run into Owen’s arms, wrapping my legs around him tightly as he lifts me off the ground. “I did it. I’m pretty sure I aced it!”
My friends finished their finals yesterday. They think they aced theirs too. While I was in NY I got all my assignments done and didn’t falter, letting me know that I’ll be graduating with them.
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Owen acknowledges, kissing my neck.
I pull back just enough to cradle his face in my hands, and with the cheesiest smile I can muster, I say, “Move in with me.”
His eyes smile at me. But his lips turn down a bit, and it makes my heart stop. He’s going to say no.
“I already found a place, Zo. It’s three and a half miles away from your house.”
Something along the lines of dread pools around the inside of my chest, and if I’m being honest, I don’t like that feeling.
Owen holds me up with one arm while the other moves up between us, and he taps my nose. “I’m just kidding. Turn that frown upside down. I’ll move in with you. I thought it was already known. I love you, Zo.” I start to crack a smile. “But that feeling sucks, right?” He tilts his head down a bit, our gazes locking. “That’s what I felt when we moved here. I wanted you close and you wanted to be as far away from me as possible.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I had a lot of things to deal with at the time and I wasn’t thinking clearly.” I lean into him, resting my forehead against his. “I’ll never be far away from you again,” I promise. “You’re stuck with me.”
He pecks my lips quickly. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” When he winks at me, I look away shyly. I still blush when he winks at me. Can you blame me? He’s freaking handsome and the stubble he’s rocking right now is hot.
“Hey, lovebirds. We’re here too!” Freddie announces, stepping beside us. “Are we going to go celebrate or are you two going to just stand here?” He smirks at Owen when he huffs for being interrupted. Freddie means well. We’ve got to spend all the time we can get with these two because they’re ditching us once graduation happens.
Then it’s just Owen and me.
I unwrap my legs from around my best friend and sigh loudly when he sets me down on the ground. He takes my hand in his after Echo claims my other one. She winks at me and slaps my butt softly. “This is it, sweets. We’re finally done with college.”
“It’s bittersweet,” I add. “I’d take another year if it meant being with you guys.”
Freddie starts to walk backward, his eyes landing on mine. “We’re not dying. And I’m pretty sure we’ll all be back soon enough.” He places his hand over his chest, tapping it twice. “I’ll be the best man. You don’t even have to ask.”
Echo starts to chuckle. “No pressure.”
Owen shakes his head playfully, a wide grin splitting his lips. He squeezes my hand and kisses the side of my head as we start walking. “Calling you my wife is one of my many wishes I’m waiting to come true.”
“Gahhhh!!!!!” Echo lets go of my hand and clutches her chest dramatically. “I’m dead. You two need to pop out some babies soon because this is finally fucking happening. And when I’m leaving?! You guys are assholes, you know that?” She rolls her eyes but the smile on her lips contradicts everything she’s saying. “I’ll miss you guys. Yes, even you, Owen.” She lets go of my hand and slips her arm around my neck, pulling me into her side. “When you finally get your tattoo colored in, I want to be there, okay?”
I nod, squeezing her hip. “You will be.”
I was supposed to go back to New York a few weeks ago to finish up what Darla started but I was too busy with school and enjoying all the time I had with my friends. I pushed back the date to the middle of June, that way I can graduate the week before and not have to worry about finals, packing or saying goodbye to the people I love.
“I’m going to miss your little pussy,” Freddie states, biting his bottom lip. We all know he’s referring to Mowgli. “I kinda got used to his round face.”
I disentangle myself from Owen and Echo’s grip and walk toward him, wrapping my arms around him. I never really hugged him before, we just always had this thing where we’d nod at each other while in the same room or I’d joke around and tell him to fuck off when he was teasing me. He is like a teddy bear. Whoever ends up with him will be lucky.
“I’m going to miss you.” I feel his heart beating against the side of my face, the steady rhythm bringing a smile to my face. “When we’re in New York, we’ll visit. Mowgli will come too.”
“That would be nice,” he comments, squeezing me a little harder. And then his hands grip my hips and he lifts me up, throwing me over his shoulder like I weigh nothing. “I’m hungry and all these emotions are making it worse.”
When he turns around, my eyes land on my two best friends. They’re laughing at something the other said, and it makes me happy. They’re back to liking each other. That moment of time where all the hate consumed us is over. There is only love now.
Their eyes find mine and I smile wide as I bring my hands to my mouth, kissing my fingers and blowing them over to them.
Freddie makes sure to hold onto me tightly.
Echo blows back a few air kisses.
Owen’s lips curl up and he winks at me.
My soul is filled with love, laughter, and bright lights. My old therapist would be glad to know that I no longer say I have a tar-black soul.
I’ve always been cared for.
I was never not wanted.
I am loved by people I would give my life for.
As we get farther and farther away from the quad, I lift myself up as best as I can and I fist bump the air once again. Echo does the same so I don’t feel like a weirdo. Freddie whistles loudly, cheering me on. Owen captures this moment on his phone before adding a few whistles and fist bumps.
This right here is the true moment I am set free.