Chapter Thirty-seven
Morgan
Ruby and Gia keep me company for a while with idle chit-chat. Ruby pulls a comb out of her purse and works on the rat’s nest that is my hair. She also has fuzzy socks, PJ’s and a brand-new toothbrush and toothpaste for me, too. My nurse says I can change out of the hideous gown tomorrow, once they unhook me from all of these machines. To my utter embarrassment, they still have me hooked up to a catheter.
When my father shows up, the doctor walks in shortly after that. Ruby and Gia excuse themselves while we talk with Dr. Davis. We talk about my healing time and when I can go back to work. I'll be on medical leave for a few weeks, but I have decent insurance through work.
It's really hard to focus on what Dad and the doctor are saying because I keep willing that door to swing open and for Dex to come through it, but it doesn't happen despite how hard I push my nonexistent mind control.
My mind snaps back to the present conversation when I hear my dad tell Dr. Davis that I will be moving back home with him for the three weeks of recovery time the doctor says I’ll need. I’m sorry, what? There is no way I’m going to go home with him. He’ll be at work the whole time anyway! Why does he think he gets a say in this?
“I’m not going home to Indy for three weeks, Dad. I’m staying here. I live here.” I say defiantly. Both he and the doctor swing their gazes to me as if they forgot I was here. The patient that they’ve been talking about for the past twenty minutes.
Dad pulls his bottom lip into his teeth as he looks over at me. “Morgan, kiddo, you will need extensive help recuperating. I can’t be away from work for too long. So, you will have to come home so I can check in on you throughout the day, or work from home.” He is talking to me like I’m a five-year-old about ready to lose my shit over not getting to do what I want.
“Uh, no. Gia and Ruby will help me and plus, they will be around more than you would once you go back to work. Also, like I said, I live here.” I protest. Ok, I may not be five, but I am about to lose my shit.
He laughs uncomfortably, “Morgan, let's be reasonable here. Gia and Ruby don’t need to take on this burden. They are both great girls and very responsible but it’s a lot of work to put on them. I’m your father and I’ll take care of you,” he crosses his arms over his chest.
I start to open my mouth to fight back, but Dr. Davis clears her throat. “For the record, I really think Morgan will bounce back fairly quickly from this. I think after a week she will be able to do a lot for herself. I’ve talked with Gia and Ruby quite a bit over the past few days and find them both perfectly capable of helping Morgan in the areas she will need help with the most. But, I will let the two of you discuss this in private. I will be back later to check in.”
Yeah, she’s right, there is no way I’m gonna let my dad help me shower or go to the bathroom. Or shave, or help me get dressed. What the hell is he thinking? I shoot her a grateful look as Dad thanks her.
We both look at each other for several seconds after the door closes behind the doctor. I take a deep breath before I speak.
“Dad, I appreciate that you want to help. But, let's face it, there is no way you are going to have time to help me over the next three weeks. I live with Gia, and Ruby is practically a second roommate. Gia works from home. It will be easier for all involved if they are the ones helping me out.”
He hangs his head and sighs. He sits down in the chair next to where he was standing and leans his forearms on his knees. Looking up at me, I see tired eyes full of unshed tears.
His voice is hoarse when he says, “I know, kiddo. I’ve just been so worried the past few days that I jumped the gun. I’ve been a horrible father since your mom died. I was afraid that I wasn’t going to get the chance to say I’m sorry. I was afraid…I was going to lose you too.” A lone tear starts to drop out of his eye, but he reaches up and wipes it away.
Unfortunately for me, I can’t catch the tears that silently start to fall from my eyes.
“Dad, you haven’t been horrible. Just preoccupied.” I want to ease his guilt, even though I’ve been hoping for years that he would realize what was going on.
“No, I was running away and that wasn’t fair to you. I was heartbroken and scared. You are so much like your mom, that it made it harder for me to be home. But that was a terrible excuse, and I’m ashamed of myself. You needed your father more than anything after she died, and I failed,” he says choking up over his words.
“Daddy,” I croak, “stop crying, please. You did what you had to do to deal with Mom’s death. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, but everything turned out ok. I’m ok. We are ok.”
I don’t remember the last time I called him Daddy. Once we started to grow apart after Mom died, it just didn’t feel right. It felt childish, and he didn’t want a child, he wanted a daughter who was old enough to take care of herself.
He reaches over and grabs my hand, “Morgan, I love you so much. I’m so sorry. I know you are all grown up and have your own life, but I want to do better. I will be better. Work has never and will never be as important as you are, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that it was. I’m sorry if I made you feel that anything was more important than you,” he says as he wipes more tears away from his eyes.
He just said the words I’ve longed to hear for so many years.
“I love you too, and I forgive you,” I assure him with a squeeze of his hand and a smile. He chuckles but I can see the tension leaving him as he hears my words. “Ok, kiddo,” he returns with his own smile.
“So, are you selling the house?” I ask, but after that heavy conversation, I keep my voice light. I’ve let my issue with him selling the house go.
“Are you going to fight me on it?” he asks with slight trepidation in his voice.
I smile again, “No, I’m ok with it if you decide you want to.”
He straightens in his seat. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve just been spending a lot of time lately thinking about where I am in life. I’ve decided I want to do more than just work. But when I’m home, all I think about is the past. I talked to a realtor and she said with a few do-it-yourself projects, the house will be ready and will be easy to sell.” He takes a breath, “At first I laughed it off, there was no way I was going to sell the house. But I started to dwell on the idea and… it seems like a step in the right direction.”
I understand where he is coming from. I nod, “I would have been more understanding of the whole thing if you would have said all that in the first place, Dad.” I give him a teasing smile. “I don’t live there anymore; my life is here. The thought of you selling the house I grew up in makes me sad. I will always think of it as home. It was where Mom was. But, you are the one who has to live there, so I get that it’s hard.”
He leans over and kisses my forehead. “I love you so much.” I smile up at him. This is the Dad I remember. This is the Dad I’ve missed for all these years. It almost makes me break down in happy tears, but I need to rein in the emotion.
He clears his throat; it is almost like he is mentally preparing himself for what he is about to say. “Since you took that so well, there’s something else I wanted to tell you.”
I blink at him.
He hesitates, “Uh, I’ve…I’ve met someone.”
I start to laugh. Again, these emotions are all over the place. “Dad, that’s great! Tell me about her.”
He just stares at me, dumbfounded.
“Dad? Tell me about her,” I repeat, smiling at him.
He quickly shakes his head, “Oh, right. Well, she is the realtor that came and looked at the house. I met her through a friend, and she wanted to look at the house. After she came by, I didn’t see her again. When I called her weeks later to tell her I changed my mind about the house, we went out for lunch to talk about it. Then it kind of went on from there.” He stops for a moment, presumably to give me time to process, but I just keep smiling. Then he continues, “She is really great and hasn’t once pushed me about the house. I’ve talked to her a lot about you and your Mom and the house. She is very understanding. She really makes me happy. And she calls me on my bullshit about working too much… and she really wants to meet you.”
My smile widens. My mom hated it when my Dad worked too much, so I’m pleased to hear there is someone hassling him again. “She sounds great, Dad. Does she have a name?”
He laughs, “Yes! Her name is Anna.” He lets out a sigh of relief. “I hope you can meet her soon.”
I nod, “Is she here with you?” I really do want to meet her, but I’m surprised that neither Gia nor Ruby mentioned a woman with my Dad.
His face sobers, “No, I asked her not come. She was actually going to drive up the other day, but once I knew you were going to be OK, I figured you wouldn’t be up for meeting your Dad’s new girlfriend. I told her to stay.”
Feigning shock, I say, “So this thing is serious then? You just referred to Anna as your girlfriend.”
He laughs, “Yes, kiddo. It’s serious.” And pats my hand.
We go back to talking about recovery and we both decide that I don’t need to go back home with him. He agrees that Gia helping me is the best decision. But he insists that he will stay in Chicago for a few days after I’m released from the hospital. He also asks that, if I feel up to it, in a couple weeks he and Anna will come and visit me again to see how I’m doing.
My body has gone through absolute hell but I’m finally in a good place with my Dad. It makes me feel incredibly light and happy. I might have broken bones, but I'm not actually broken. I will heal and be whole again.