Chapter Seventeen
Somehow, the weeks passed quickly. Landyn became a permanent fixture in our lives. He spent every possible second he could with Layla and me. He managed to visit me regularly at work while still making it to my apartment to spend time with Layla. He even spent nearly every night with us; in my bed.
Fighting him on this was impossible and he used our little girl to his advantage at every opportunity. They were a team.
He was also persistently affectionate with me in front of Layla and he ignored all of my efforts to resist. Before I knew it, a month had passed and I was madly in love with him all over again, but no way in hell would I let him in on that secret.
Right now we were in bed and Landyn was caressing my hip; his lips were brushing against my neck. I felt his breath when he spoke. “I can’t stay tonight, baby. I have a six a.m. meeting with a vendor. I really wish you would just move in with me. Layla’s going to be upset when I tell her I won’t be here later and you know the last thing I ever want to do is upset her.” I twisted my neck to look at him. He always looked delicious in the morning with his sexy bedroom hair, dreamy eyes and scruffy, unshaven face.
No matter how much I wanted to, one month was still way too soon to make any decisions about moving in. “Lan, it’s too soon to decide on moving in and I have to work tonight. This will give Layla a chance to spend some time with Trish. She’ll be okay.”
“Baby, I want us living together by the time she goes back to school and that’s only another month away. If you’re worried about leaving Trish, she can move into my garage apartment.”
Ugh! The man was unbearably persuasive when he was trying to get his way. He continued, “She’s always out with Tony anyway.”
“I’ll think about it,” I responded sharply and turned my face away from him.
His hand suddenly slid off my hip, down my belly and into my panties. “What are you doing?” I whispered.
“Helping you make your decision.” He found my sweet spot and swirled a finger lightly against my clit. A steady pace began. “Dripping.” He breathed in my ear. I moaned and wiggled my hips back into his. He pulled his hand away and ordered, “Turn on your stomach.” I quickly did what he asked. He lifted up over me and pulled my panties off. He spread my legs wide with his knees as he crawled up my back.
His arm wrapped around my waist and a hand hit my core. He worked magic on me until I was begging him to take me. He bit my shoulder. “Get on your knees,” he ordered, his voice rough. I rose up until my ass met his erection. It glided between my cheeks as I rocked back and forth. A hand started massaging my breasts, tugging on my nipples. I pressed back against him and he guided his erection inside. I moaned.
“Give me your hands,” he demanded. I quickly considered my options and decided to lean my chest down on the bed. I turned my head to the side and gave him what he wanted. He pinned my hands behind my back with one of his and the other wrapped around my waist to rub the ache between my legs.
“I want you in my house, baby. Say yes.” I whimpered. I couldn’t say yes.
“Just move,” I begged.
He pulled his hips back slowly then pressed forward. “I need you Lexi,” he continued to torture me with this pace. “Faster,” I breathed, squeezing my fists tightly behind my back.
“Feel all of me Lexi. Can’t you feel how much I need you. How much I love you. Say yes.”
His words and achingly slow movements were causing too many emotions to flow through me. I hadn’t heard him say I love you since we broke up. I loved him too, but I was scared.
“I can’t,” I whispered feeling a tear slide from the corner of my eye. Abruptly, he let go of my wrists, pulled out and flipped me to my back. He slipped back inside me in one smooth motion.
His hands lifted to frame my face. “I love you Lexi. You’re going to be mine for the rest of your life. You’ve always been mine.” His voice was firm. “I’m not afraid to admit how much I need you, baby. I was afraid before, but I’m not now. I won’t hurt you again. Ever,” he stated confidently. Another lonely tear escaped, but Lan kissed it away.
“I’ve always loved you,” I admitted in a barely there whisper. “I’m scared.”
His mouth crashed down on mine in desperation. He continued with unhurried, torturously slow movements until I came so hard I was near sobbing. “I love you,” I heard Lan groan as he finished inside me.
When he was completely sated, he rested his forehead on my shoulder.
“Marry me,” he said. I stopped breathing. He lifted his head and stared in my eyes. “Marry me, Lexi. I should have married you the day you turned eighteen, but I was stupid. I’m not as stupid as I was back then. I won’t let you leave me.”
My heart was beating frantically. “It’s too soon,” I said.
“No it’s not and you know it. We love each other. I’ve loved you since I first saw you. I want to see you pregnant with Layla’s little brother or sister soon. I want to watch your belly grow and go to doctor’s appointments. I want to touch you every day for the rest of my life. Marry me.”
Breathing was starting to hurt. “What if something goes wrong?” I asked through the tightening in my throat. “I loved you so much before Landyn and it still didn’t matter. You were my life and you cheated at the first opportunity. I can’t go through that again. I won’t put Layla through that.”
“Are you kidding me right now?” His voice was low and scary. His eyes narrowed and he climbed off me and stood up.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
He started dressing. He didn’t answer and his face was hard, lips tight. “I’ve explained to you what was going on in my head that night, but you refuse to accept it. I practically beg you to marry me, and you bring up the shit that I’ve lived to regret every day since the night it happened six years ago!”
He shook his head in defeat and finished dressing. “I know you already know about Tiffany, but what you don’t know is that I’ve only been with a handful of women since you left me, if that. Only one turned into an actual relationship and it doesn’t even count since I was just using her to get over you. I thought about you every fucking day since the day you left!”
He opened the door. “Just forget I asked. I’m going to say bye to Layla. I’ll pick her up tomorrow.” The door slammed behind him.
An hour of crying later, Trish came to check on me. “Hey bitch!” she said loudly when she walked in, but she immediately turned confused when she saw my face. “What’s wrong with you?”
I told her everything while she hugged me.
“Lex, I’ve never told you this before, but you were both so young, babe. Don’t get me wrong, I hated him right along with you and I still hate him for what he did, but maybe that was his one big mistake in life. The way he was with you back then and the way he is now isn’t any different. He’s still obsessed with you. I honestly don’t think he’d hurt you again even if his life depended on it, babe.”
I was bawling now. “I can’t seem to do anything right,” I whined. She hugged me tighter.
Could I honestly get over what happened six years ago? Everyone else seemed to think I should. Sometimes I even got annoyed with myself, but thinking about that night made my heart bleed.