I find Lily sitting in our bedroom, her small body curled up tight in the middle of the bed with her knees drawn to her chest. She’s hugging them like she’s scared that if she lets go, she will shatter to pieces all over the blankets. I don’t speak as I shut the door behind me, the only glow lighting the room coming from the rising sun as it streams through the small window.

“Do you believe them?” her small voice whispers, filling the silence.

I sit at the edge of the bed and contemplate her question.

“Do I believe them? Maybe…” I answer after a few thoughtful seconds. “I don’t really know them. I don’t know what they’re capable of or what their true end game is.”

She looks up at me, her eyes are glazed and shimmering. “I thought that if there was one person I could trust in this world, that it would be my mom.” Sharpness stabs at my heart and I raise my hand to rub it away. “I don’t know how much longer I can go through this. It’s scary and painful, and every time I think I’m getting a grasp or can see the whole picture, I’m blindsided again.”

“Trust me, I know exactly how you’re feeling.” I chuckle as I drag myself onto the bed beside her. “You spend your whole life looking up to someone, trusting them, believing that they would do anything in their power to protect you, only to find out that they’re the one that can hurt you the most.”

She cringes. “God, I’m the most selfish human being on earth aren’t I?”

I chuckle softly, opening my arms and inviting her to climb in. She doesn’t hesitate, quickly abandoning her woe-is-me position and burying herself into the comfort and safety of my body.

“Here I am complaining about the most amazing mom in the world and you were literally spawned by Satan.” She snorts. “I need to suck it up.”

I rub my hands up and down her arms. “You don’t need to do anything. No one can tell you how to react or how to feel. If you’re hurt then be hurt. Fuck what anyone else thinks.”

She tilts her head up. “Do you think they’re telling the truth?”

“I can’t tell you that for sure,” I answer honestly. While my gut and senses tell me that these guys are being honest, obviously, those things have failed me before.

Exhibit A: Camilla.

“But what I can tell you, is that we are gonna fix all this and you’re gonna be able to go to your mom and ask her yourself.”

“Okay,” she whispers, but I can still hear the unease in her voice.

I sigh. “It’s times like these I miss my dad. He always had a way of knowing what to do. No matter what the situation, he could always see a way out or a way to fix it.”

Lily pulls herself onto her knees so she’s eye to eye with me. “You don’t talk about your dad very much.”

I shake my head, feeling a touch of guilt inside. She’s right. I don’t talk about him ever because I’m a shitty fucking son who’s scared of admitting that he’s gone. I lick my lips, determined not to let him down, determined to let Lily know what a great man he was.

“He was my hero, he was fucking everything. Mom trained me to fight and gave me the skills I needed, but Dad taught me how to be a good person. We did some awful shit sometimes, and it’s things like that that broke a man down and ate him up from the inside out. But it was my dad that made me believe in what we were doing and how we had to believe in the good and try not to let the bad destroy us. It seems like that doesn’t matter now, though, because we did let the bad destroy us.”

Lily grins at me. “He sounds like a good guy, and I think you’re just like him.”

I can’t help but smile back. “Yeah, so I’m told. Camilla hates it, too. Tells me I look just like he did at my age.”

“Do you have any pictures?”

I think about it for a moment, wondering if I’ve managed to escape with any pictures of him. Most of them would still be in the apartment I left abandoned, and Luca told me Camilla had a team go in and gather up everything from there.

A light bulb flicks on and I wiggle my hand underneath me, rummaging through my back pocket and pulling out a black leather wallet that I’d used earlier that night. Flipping through the fake identification badges, I turn to the back and dig in underneath one of the pockets. My face lights up when I feel the torn edges of the photo and gently pull it out. It’s so creased now that it’s almost tearing. I carefully unfold it and hand it to Lily.

Lily’s face is excited and bright as she takes it from me, drawing the photo closer to her face as she examines it. She doesn’t talk for a long time, her eyes studying it silently, the energetic look now gone and replaced by something of confusion.

I eventually nudge her. “You okay?”

“Yeah… it’s just…” She looks up at me and then down at the photo again, shaking her head as if in disbelief. “This is your dad?”

I’m confused at her reaction. “Yeah…”

“And he died when?”

My body tightens and my breath gets stuck in my throat, the memories of Camilla coming to me and telling me what happened are still too fresh. I remember smashing things, throwing punches at anyone who was nearby. I was angry, destructive and in a lot of denial. Camilla eventually had to get the boys to sedate me.

“‘Bout three years ago,” I eventually whisper.

“Holy crap,” she hisses, her eyes moving back to the picture. Unable to tear her gaze away.

I frown. “Lily, what the hell? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I think I have.”

 

 

“I’m just gonna throw this out there… I think this is a fucking stupid idea,” Luca grumbles from the driver’s seat.

“Your opinion is noted and tucked away in the file labeled ‘I don’t give a shit,’” Lily replies, glaring at him through the rear vision mirror.

I turn my body and watch as Tanner sits in the back with her, attempting to pull on a wig over her head and apply a ridiculous amount of makeup to her face. A rushed disguise that we are hoping will stop anyone from recognizing her when we’re back inside the city.

I’m nervous, I have to admit. My stomach is flipping because what we’re doing is a huge risk to our cover and our safety.

The Agency doesn’t just have people out and about, they also have connections to CCTV and other types of security vision that are linked to face recognition and advanced technology. While they won’t exactly be looking for Lily, considering the fact that she is by all accounts dead, it will only take one slip up for someone to become suspicious of who she is and to start digging.

I should have told her no.

I can tell Luca and Tanner are already on edge, even more so as we move further and further from the safety of the MC compound and closer to Washington DC.

But I couldn’t say no.

Lily so was determined to come, whether it was with or without me. I’m not sure what she thinks she’s proving, or what brought on this sudden need to risk everything in order to come back here, but all she told me was that if she was right it could change everything.

Right about what, though?

Her eyes move to mine as I study her over my shoulder. “I need you to tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours,” I say quietly.

Tanner continues to cake on her makeup, using different shades and techniques to contour her face, making her nose look far too thin and her chin a lot pointier. I know what she’s doing though, she’s trying to fool the naked eye. Adding shadows where there’s none, and giving her soft creamy complexion a harsher, darker tone means that at a passing glance, she looks like a completely different person.

“I can’t tell you, in case I’m wrong,” Lily finally answers as Tanner finally pulls on a curled blonde wig over her short brown hair after numerous failed attempts.

“And how will we know if you’re right?” Luca interrupts, his voice thick and tense as he weaves in and out of traffic, driving us deeper into the center of the city.

Lily clears her throat. “You’ll know. Trust me.”

It’s weird to hear her speaking those words. For so long, it’s been me telling her over and over, convincing her that she needs to trust me, that she needs to follow me and allow me to take the reins. And so far she’s done exactly that. She’s allowed me to lead her down this path of crazy and psychotic bullshit, faking our deaths and fighting against family, and she’s done it without even questioning me.

She’s trusted me to keep her safe, and now I have to trust that whatever it is that she feels she knows, is going to help us in some way because I owe her that damn much.

Lily gives Luca directions to where she needs to go, while Tanner makes quick work of handing out caps and dark glasses, pulling on her own wig of blonde hair to cover her usually dark locks. We want to hide, but we don’t want to look like we’re doing so. It’s a hard balance to find. If you go overboard, you end up drawing too much attention, but if you don’t do enough it’s a pointless task anyway.

“Stop here and pull down that side alley. There’s parking in behind for visitors,” Lily demands and Luca swerves the car to the side of the road, our bodies bouncing as he hits the curb and pulls it down the narrow driveway. Lily’s right, and we find reserved parking down the back of the building.

We each assess our looks and make final adjustments before climbing out of the car and heading for the door. I grab Lily’s hand, pulling it into mine and holding it close to my body. Her thumb brushes back and forth across the top of my hand, soothing the anxiety that I feel building in my gut.

If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s not knowing. I hate going in blind without enough information or a solid plan. Even with two of my team members beside me, my nerves are at an all-time high, and every single movement and sound has my eyes searching, waiting for someone to pounce on us.

Lily directs us to the elevator and I tap my foot impatiently as it starts to move.

“Did I mention I don’t like this idea?” Luca murmurs, his voice almost completely absent of laughter or sarcasm, letting me know he feels just as uneasy about this as I do.

The elevator dings and we step out. Lily instantly pushes Luca and Tanner in front of us, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face in my chest. “I don’t want her to recognize me,” she says before giving Luca strict instructions on what to tell the lady behind the front desk.

Luca and Tanner move forward. He throws his arm over her shoulder and she tenses but doesn’t push him away as the perky woman behind the desk begins to chat with them. Her expressive face forms a range of emotions from surprise to sadness and then finally a smile as she points down a shadowed hallway to her left.

Luca salutes her and we slip in behind them as Luca drags Tanner down the hall with him. When we’re out of sight, she elbows Luca in the ribs and shoves him into the wall. “Could have done without that little bit of acting,” she snorts while Luca just stares at her and grins.

“Hey, I figured you might have needed a little manly touch since ol’ Blair is still out of commission,” Luca fires back teasingly.

Tanner manages to hold her tongue, but her eyes are alight with promises of payback. “Room 314 she said,” she grinds out as she moves past Luca and further down the hall, her eyes moving from door to door until she finds the one she wants.

We all stand outside, staring at it in curiosity and wonder. I look down at Lily and she takes a deep shaky breath as she raises her hand to knock.

After three solid thumps, she steps back, her eyes on me, watching me carefully with a look I can’t exactly pinpoint.

“Come in,” a gruff harsh voice calls from the other side, and instantly my body freezes, a cold chill running up my spine.

I don’t breathe.

I don’t move.

I can’t…

Lily moves to stand in front of me, her glassy eyes shining up like she knows now that she was right. Hell, the door hasn’t even opened yet and I know she’s fucking right. There’s no way in hell that I could mistake that voice for anyone else.

I slowly turn my head to look at Luca and Tanner, who are mimicking my pose almost exactly, their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide in shock.

“No. Fucking. Way,” Luca manages to force out but I can’t even find words to reply.

Lily eventually moves, reaching for the door handle and twisting it slowly, painfully, until it gives way with a soft click. The squeak it makes as she pulls it open, almost has me vomiting on the hallway carpet, the suspense it creates too much for my body and mind to comprehend.

And then suddenly, there he is.

How he’s here, I have no fucking idea.

But it doesn’t even matter.

Nothing fucking matters.

“It’s about time,” he grunts. “Thought I was going to have to do this shit myself.”