I’m ashamed to say that one kiss from Lucas made me almost forget about his pig-headed behaviour in Perry’s. I know I asked him to come and get me, but that wasn’t code for embarrass me in front of all my friends and drag me from the bar at the first chance you get.

If the kiss wasn’t enough to make me forget, then our trip to McDonald’s definitely was. The fact he’d never ordered one before was shocking enough, but hearing the little bit of his past he let slip broke my heart. I couldn’t help visions of a skinny little boy with dark long hair and blue eyes entering my head. It’s not very often that Lucas allows me to see any of his vulnerability but the fact that he does sometimes gives me hope that he is letting me in, when he keeps almost everyone else at arm’s length.

By the time we’re heading towards his house, I’m feeling much more sober with a full stomach. That’ll teach me for drinking most of the day on a pretty empty stomach.

“Taylor’s moving to London. He’s got an assistant job at some swanky photography company,” I announce after a few minutes of silence.

“That’s good.” His reply is a little short, making me glance over to see what the issue is. His lips are pressed into a thin line and he’s gripping the steering wheel a little too harshly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Sorry, it’s just been a long day, and as nice as eating a burger in my car was, I had other things planned.” I suddenly feel guilty for ruining what he’d organised.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t get hold of you so I didn’t really think twice about going for a drink.”

“Stop, it’s not your fault. This is my shit. I’ve been waiting to spend time with you all week. It’s been driving me a little nuts.”

“Me too,” I admit. I reach over and put my hand high up on his thigh. “Put your foot down a bit,” I whisper as my palm reaches up higher.

The car lunges forward as Lucas does as I suggested and presses the pedal down. I’m both impressed and scared witless by the power his flashy Jaguar has. It seems like Lucas is on a mission, with the speed he takes the last few corners.

We come to a grinding halt on the gravel driveway outside his house and he’s out of the car before I have time to reach for my seat belt.

I’m just reaching down to grab the rubbish when my door flies open and I’m pulled from the seat. I expect to be dragged along behind him so am shocked when I suddenly feel myself lifted off the ground and thrown over his shoulder.

“Lucas,” I squeal, “is this necessary?”

His response is only a grunt as he shuts the car door and starts marching towards the house.

The second we’re inside I’m put back on my feet. I go to step away, presuming we’re heading for the bedroom, but a tug on my arm ensures I stop before being pinned back against the wall.

His lips go to mine as his hands find their way under my top. The second he discovers I’m braless underneath he groans as he pinches my nipples.

After a few seconds, his hands are on the move again and he’s undoing my jeans, shoving them and my knickers down my thighs.

“Turn around and put your hands on the table,” he instructs, nodding towards the side table in his hallway.

I do as he says but I’m obviously not how he wants me, because he grabs my hips and pulls them back. I just about manage to stay on my feet.

“Don’t move,” he demands, and then I feel his fingers on me. He tests my readiness, and when he finds what he wants he pulls his hand back and lines his cock up.

I don’t get a chance to brace myself before he slams into me. He grabs on to my hips to help steady me but he doesn’t slow down.

He folds himself over my back once he’s finished and pants in my ear. The feeling of that, along with him still twitching inside me, begins my climb towards round two. I don’t mention it though, because I’m going to need a few minutes—or an hour—after that.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers softly in my ear. “That was too rough. It’s just, this week, today, tonight. I just needed you,” he admits, and it makes my breath catch. I can’t imagine Lucas admits to needing anyone very often, if ever.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” he says after he’s pulled out and helped me sort out my clothes on shaky legs.

“So did everything go okay handing your work in?” Lucas asks once we’re in bed. It’s one of my favourite places to be—possibly my absolute favourite—lying curled up into Lucas’ side.

“Yeah, no problem. Now I just wait for the verdict and start looking for jobs.”

“Tell me about Taylor’s job. It sounds like a big deal.”

We chat about work and uni and life in general for the longest time. It makes me imagine doing this with him in ten, twenty years’ time. It’s what I imagine my mum and dad do after work—just enjoy each other’s company and talk about their days.

Eventually, I start yawning. The stress of the last few days and the alcohol from earlier have started taking their toll.

“Not yet, you don’t,” Lucas warns as he rolls on top of me. “I need to do this properly this time,” he whispers as he lowers his lips to mine.

His actions are so far from what I experienced downstairs. Earlier, he took exactly what he needed. I wasn’t going to stop him, mind you, but right now…this is about us. He takes his time, kissing and caressing every part of my body until I’m on fire. When he enters me, it’s so slow and gentle I think I’m going to combust with the need he’s aroused within me.

He continues moving slowly while he kisses me. Lucas hasn’t really ever explicitly said how he feels about me, not that I have about him either, but this feels like he’s telling me. It’s just with his body instead of his words, and I get totally lost in it.

It feels like it takes forever, but I start feeling my release approaching. My efforts to get Lucas to increase the pace have been ignored for his leisurely speed.

“Oh my God,” I groan as I feel it getting closer. It’s unlike me to be vocal, but the words just fall from me. “Yes, Lucas, let me feel you. Let me feel you making lov—” My words are halted and all movement ceases as I feel his hand press down against my mouth in panic.

“Don’t,” he warns, before pulling out of me and marching out of the room.

“Uh…” I say aloud, trying to work out what the hell just happened. I think back over the last few seconds and what could have causes his freak out. Then the words that I said come back to me. “Damn it,” I mutter as I swing my legs off the bed, grab his shirt to cover myself up with and head in the direction he disappeared.

When I eventually find him, he’s sat outside on the decking, naked with a glass of what I presume is whiskey, and to my surprise, a cigarette in his hand. He’s looking out over the garden but I can tell by the hard lines of his face that he’s lost somewhere in his memories. I chastise myself for what I almost said. It’s not like he ever warned me, but from the few things he’s shared about his past I can understand why he might have a problem.

“Lucas,” I say softly from the doorway. I know he’s heard me because he flinches slightly at my voice, but that’s the only reaction I get. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. Please come back to bed.”

“Just go, Lilly,” he says sadly.

I want to argue. I want to tell him so many things. That I didn’t mean it, that it was spur of the moment, that he’d swept me away. And yes, all those things were true, but the real reason I said it was because it was true. He was making love to me, he was telling me how he felt, and I was doing the same. Except I can just about accept what my feelings for him are, as scary as it might be. I know I’m falling in love with him. I hadn’t even considered how that might affect him. I think again about how if he had opened up to me before now then I wouldn’t need to feel like I’m walking on eggshells. I would know the triggers that send him back there.

I have no idea if he means to just leave him alone or to leave the house but I make the decision to go back to bed and leave him to it.

I toss and turn for hours hoping he’ll return, but he doesn’t, and when I wake up in the morning the space next to me is still cold and empty.

I search the house for Lucas but come up empty. What am I meant to do now? I’m stuck here without a car and with only the clothes I was wearing last night and the insanely expensive Dolce & Gabbana dress I should have been wearing tonight. I get the feeling that won’t be happening now. I’m a little disappointed that I’m not going to get to wear it, but I’m more annoyed at the epic waste of money. I know Lucas has enough, but that’s not the point.

I go back to the kitchen and put the kettle on as I think about what to do for the best.

I sit looking out over the garden with a pot of tea for the longest time, lost in my thoughts. The sound of the doorbell ringing scares the life out of me. When I glance over at the clock I’m surprised to see that it’s well past lunchtime. My heart drops when I walk through the empty house. Where is he? I tried ringing his mobile but went straight to voicemail.

I look though the peephole when I get to the front door. I have no idea if I should be answering it or not, but seeing a young woman on the other side, I decide to go for it.

“Good afternoon, are you Lilly?” she asks with a smile.

“Uh…yeah, why?”

“I’m here to do your hair and make up for your event tonight. Mr. Dalton booked me.

“I…uh…don’t think that’s necessary anymore,” I say, stepping back into the house so I can close the door.

“I only spoke to him an hour ago to confirm the booking,” she says. “He told me to have you ready by five.”

I stand and stare at her. How is it she can talk to him but my calls go to voicemail?

“Are you okay?” she asks, looking a little concerned.

“Yeah,” I say, but it doesn’t sound convincing. I open the door and gesture for her to enter.

“I’m Julia,” she says from behind me as I walk her though the house towards the bedroom.

“Are you okay here? I just need to make a phone call.”

“Of course. Can I just see the dress? I want to make sure we do the right thing with your hair.”

Thankfully, when I open Lucas’ wardrobe there is a familiar dress bag hanging from the rail. I drag it out before unzipping it and hanging on the back of the door.

“Wow, it’s stunning,” Julia says when I step back. I can’t disagree with her because it is.

“I’ll just be a minute.”

“No rush,” she says as I walk thought the door.

I find my phone where I left it on the table. I unlock it before redialling the most recently called number.

I’m a little shocked when it starts ringing this time. That soon changes to anger when I hear a familiar irritating female voice on the other end.

“Is Lucas there?” I snap after hearing her flustered sounding voice.

“No, I’m sorry, Poppy. He’s just in the shower; we’ve had quite a day,” she says.

I may not know Lucas all that well, but I’m pretty damn sure I know him well enough to know he wouldn’t go there again like she is implying.

“Right, well…please get him to ring me when you’re not too busy,” I say as sweetly as possible in a pathetic attempt to sound unaffected by her. I’m not sure how effective it is though. I hang up and throw my phone back down on the table before letting out a breath and heading back upstairs. I should really tell Julia to leave and call myself a taxi. I know that’s the right thing to do, but for some reason when I get upstairs and she tells me to sit in front of the mirror I do exactly as I’m told. It’s just easier, and I’m too exhausted to argue.

A couple of hours later, I’m stood in front of the full-length mirror in Lucas’ bedroom, staring at a pretty prefect looking version of myself wrapped in the gorgeous gown.

I want to be excited about tonight. I want to be looking forward to my first swanky event in a designer dress but all I feel is dread. Is Lucas even going to turn up? And if he does, what mood is he likely to be in.

“I need a drink,” I announce after thanking Julia for her work, because my hair and make-up are flawless.

When I get to the kitchen I grab a glass and pull a chilled bottle of wine from the fridge. I offer Julia a glass but she declines and leaves me to it after wishing me a good night. I didn’t really talk much while she was working, which I realise is unusual, but I didn’t have the energy to fake excitement for tonight.

I stand and look out over the garden as I drink the wine in my hand. It goes down a little too quickly, seeing as I’ve eaten nothing all day.

I swallow down the final drop and turn around to put the glass down. A figure stood in the doorway makes me jump and I drop the glass on the tiled floor.

“Lucas,” I say, as I bring my hand over my racing heart. “You scared me half to death.”

“I’m sorry. Let me get that,” he says, walking over and bending down to pick up the larger pieces of glass—or, more likely, crystal—that I just smashed everywhere.

“I’m sorry, I’ll buy you a replacement,” I say nervously, because I still have no clue as to where his head is at.

“Don’t be stupid,” is all he says in response as he cleans up the mess. I stand there watching him, feeling totally out of place. Maybe I should have gone home after all.

Once he’s done, he leaves the room without anther word. When he reappears, his suit has been replaced with a tux. He looks incredible, and if it weren’t for the dark shadows in his eyes, you wouldn’t know anything was wrong. I can see them though, and I know he’s hurting after last night.

“Luc, I—”

“Not now, Lilly. We’ll talk, but after the auction, okay?”

“Okay,” I mutter in agreement.

When he stretches his arm out towards me, I place my hand in his and let him lead me from the house.

I hate that word. The only thing it means to me is that someone is using me. That was all the woman that gave birth to me did. She didn’t love me, she just used it against me.

“Lucas, baby, if you love me then you’ll go and get my medication.”

“You love me don’t you, Lucas? I promise I’ll make you nice big breakfast in the morning to make up for dinner tonight.”

I accepted every word that came from her mouth when I was little. What child wouldn’t? It’s ingrained in you to trust your mother, that she only has your best interests at heart. Well, not for me. The woman who gave birth to me only ever thought about herself. Herself and her drug addiction.

My parents learnt very quickly that telling me they loved me had a bad effect on me. From the day they figured that out, they’ve always made sure they’ve shown me how important I am to them. They are the kind of parents kids should have. I know it must have killed them both over the years not to tell me how they feel. Especially my mum; she wears her heart on her sleeve and wants everyone to know. She will tell me now occasionally, but I’ve kind of got used to her voice saying it so it doesn’t quite have the same effect as it did when Lilly said it.

I spent a lot of years disappointing them. I wasn’t aware of it at the time but I know now that I was probably trying to push them away, to prove to myself they didn’t want me like they said they did. But they stuck by me, no matter what I threw at them. They’ve been there to pick up the pieces and to get my life back on track.

I’ve never told them how much they mean to me. I’m often aware I probably should, but I really hope they know.

When I eventually make it home later that day I find Lilly, dressed and ready to go in the kitchen, looking out over the garden. I stand in the doorway watching her. From the back alone, she looks stunning. The dress hugs her curves like a second skin. I run my eyes down the diamond buttons that run down the length of her spine before taking in her slim waist, curved hips and long legs. Her hair has all been pinned up and it shows off her creamy, perfect neck. I fight back the urge to walk up behind her and sink my teeth into that perfect skin, to mark her for the night so every fucker at the event will know she’s mine. I don’t think she’d welcome that after what I’ve probably put her through in the last few hours. So instead, I continue to stand and watch her, until she turns around and I scare the shit out of her. The sight of her from the front takes my breath away as well. She is beautiful and far too good for me, I think for the millionth time since meeting her. She has a few bits of curled blonde hair framing her face, and her makeup is so natural I can hardly tell she’s wearing any—the only thing that’s noticeable is her red lips. And fuck me, how badly do I want to see those wrapped around my cock?

It’s obvious she wants to talk. I knew she would, but I put her off until at least after this event. I’d like to try to get through it unscathed. Everyone there thinks I’m the ruthless businessman I portray. I’d like to keep it that way.

* * *

Our arrival is everything I wanted it to be. I wanted to shock people by bringing a date. What I didn’t anticipate was the looks she’d get from all the other men here. Yes, I know I wanted them to be jealous, but I didn’t want them looking at her like they’re stripping her naked with their eyes.

“Ow, Luc, stop holding so tight,” she complains as she tries to pull her hand from mine.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It’s just that every man in this place wants what’s mine.”

“I thought that was what you wanted.”

“I didn’t think it through properly,” I admit.

“Are you jealous?” she asks with amusement.

“I should be the only one that gets to look at you like that.” I don’t answer honestly because the truth freaks me out.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Lucas, Lilly, it’s so good to see you,” my mother sings when she spots us. She completely ignores me though, and goes straight for Lilly.

“Son,” my dad greets quickly before we both turn to watch Mum fawn over Lilly.

“Oh, darling, you look beautiful. Your gown is stunning.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Dalton.”

“Oh, please call me Elaine, dear. Mrs. Dalton makes me feel old.”

“Okay,” Lilly says with a smile.

My mum briefly looks away from Lilly and glances at me. The look in her eyes hits me hard. She looks so happy. “Now, I want to know everything about you, Lilly. This is a first for me. I want to know why my son is so fascinated with you, other than your obvious beauty.”

“I’m so sorry,” my dad mutters to me. “I warned her not to do this but she’s been waiting a long time to be introduced to a girlfriend.”

“Lilly’s not—” My dad raises one eyebrow at me and it stops me mid denial. “Fine, okay, I guess she is.”

We both stand and watch as my mother grabs two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and hands one to Lilly.

“Let’s get a drink,” Dad suggests, so we leave them too it and head to the bar.

* * *

“They’re going to be requesting that we take our seats in a few minutes,” my mum says as she and Lilly join us at the bar about thirty minutes later. I kept an eye on the two of them the whole time. They didn’t stop chatting, and my mum didn’t stop smiling. I think it’s safe to say she approves of Lilly. “Don’t let this one go, Luc, she’s a keeper,” Mum says with a wink.

This weird feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t aware that I needed the approval of my parents. I’m big enough and ugly enough to do my own thing and make my own decisions, but it feels good knowing that my mum likes Lilly.

I look up to Lilly to see her reaction, but the face looking back at me isn’t what I was expecting.

“Lilly, are you okay?” I ask. She looks pale. She’s looking right at me but it’s like she isn’t seeing me. “Lilly?” I prompt when she doesn’t respond.

It’s only two seconds later that I see her fall. Both Dad and I jump forward and I thankfully manage to grab her before she hits the floor. I gently lower her down. “Lilly?” I ask again as I touch her face to see if it will bring her around. She doesn’t respond, but she’s really hot.

“Put her in the recovery position. I’m ringing an ambulance,” Dad instructs, but I just panic. I stand up and back away, not knowing what to do or how to help.

Mum must see what I’m doing and immediately takes my place on the floor and rolls Lilly to her side.

The next hour is a total blur. The paramedics come. Thankfully Lilly is awake by the time they do, and tries to convince them she’s fine, but they won’t have it. They put her on to a trolley and push her out to the ambulance.

“Go on, Lucas,” my mum says, pushing at my shoulder. “She needs you.” I do as I’m told because that seems like the easiest thing, with my brain not functioning.

I sit in the back and hold Lilly’s hand on the short journey to the hospital. I’ve only been in an ambulance once before and it’s not really an experience I’d like to repeat or relive. My grip on Lilly’s hand must be painful again as I try to keep my memories at bay. I need to be here for her right now, not lost in my own head.