A phone ringing wakes me up. I open my eyes but it’s pointless because the blackout curtains mean I can’t even see my hand in front of my face.

“Is that yours?” Lucas asks in a husky voice.

“Yeah it is. Please could you get it for me?” Usually I would go myself, but it will take me about a week and I have a dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach that I know who it is and what it’s about. Usually I would ignore it—not that my phone ever rings in the middle of the night.

It’s stopped ringing by the time Lucas hands it to me, but seeing as my suspicion is correct, I call straight back.

“She’s gone, Lilly,” Nic says in floods of tears.

“I’m so sorry, hun.” My heart breaks for her. I desperately want to be there with her right now. “She’s been getting worse and worse the last few weeks, not even opening her eyes. I could tell something wasn’t right yesterday so I sat up with her. She just stopped breathing. It was so peaceful, Lills. Exactly as she wanted—well, apart from the long wait to get here. Lilly?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it awful that I have this huge feeling of relief?”

“Of course not. Don’t you dare feel guilty about feeling like that. It’s only natural; this has gone on for so long. You putting your life on hold isn’t what she would have wanted. She’s probably feeling relieved for you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“No one can tell you what’s right or wrong right now, Nic. Only you know what you’ve been through. You’re allowed to feel anything. If people don’t understand how you’re feeling they clearly don’t understand what you’ve been through.”

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“I wish I could be there.”

“Don’t be silly; you’re thirty-four weeks pregnant. You could pop at any time.”

“When do you think the funeral will be?”

“I hope it’s not a long wait. Now this has happened I want to get it all done and try to figure out what the hell I’m going to do with my life.”

“Tell me as soon as you know. I want to be there.”

“Lilly, don’t be stupid. You can’t.”

“Yes I can, and as long as I’m not in labour, I’ll be there.” I can feel Lucas’ stare burning into me as I say this, because I know he isn’t going to agree.

“We’ll worry about it closer to the time. It could happen any day,” she says, like I need the reminder.

“You are not going,” Lucas warns when I hang up the phone.

“She’s my best friend and she’s just lost her mum. If I can be there, I will be. You can come, or I’ll go on my own. There’s no discussion about it.”

I can see he’s desperate to argue but we both know we’re not backing down, so instead he pulls me back down to the bed and wraps his arm around me as much as he can with the size of me.

* * *

“I can’t believe I’m allowing this to happen,” Lucas says two weeks later as he watches Dec get behind the wheel of my wedding present, a white Audi Q7. It’s a ridiculous size and I look utterly stupid driving it, but Lucas is right, and it will fit everything in that we need for two babies.

“It will be fine. We will only be gone two days. I don’t feel like anything’s going to happen.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Lucas complains. Typically, the day of the funeral is also the day Lucas has interviews for management jobs at the hotel, so he can’t come. Thankfully, Dec agreed to be my chauffeur, much to his delight.

“It’ll be fine. Just make sure you keep your phone on loud, just in case,” I say but when I see the look on his face, I realise it was the wrong thing to say. “I love you, Lucas. Everything will be fine.”

“You’d better be right. And I love you, too,” he says before lowering his lips to mine.

“Are we going or what?” Dec shouts from the car.

“Yes, let’s go.”

“I can’t believe you talked me into this, Lills.”

“Oh, why’s that? Because you don’t like Nic, or because you may have to deliver two babies at any moment?” I ask with a laugh.

“All of the above.”

“But you love me, so you’re going to suck it up and get on with it, even if you have to play midwife on the hard shoulder of the motorway.” He glances over at me in the passenger seat and doesn’t look amused by my comment. “It’ll be fine,” I say again, just like I did to Lucas an hour or so ago.

“Oh my God, you made it,” Nic shouts over when she spots me waddling towards her after Dec drops me off right outside the crematorium where the funeral is being held.

“I told you I would. Come here,” I say, trying to give her a hug.

“Lilly, you are fucking massive,” she says, putting her hands on my colossal belly.

“I know. I feel ridiculous.”

“Oh, I didn’t know Dec was bringing you,” Nic comments when he appears from the car park.

“Didn’t I mention it?” I ask innocently, because I know full well I didn’t tell her.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Whoops.”

“Nicole, I’m sorry for your loss,” Dec says politely as he steps up to us.

“Thank you,” she mutters, before excusing herself.

I glance over at Dec.

“What? I was perfectly polite. What did you want me to do? Pull her in for a hug?” He has a point, but I don’t really know what I expected. They haven’t seen each other for years; they aren’t suddenly going to start getting along now.

The service is short and sweet, with only a handful of people in attendance, making me glad I made the effort. When Nic and her mum moved up here, Natalie was either looking after her parents or working, so she never really made many friends before she got ill.

Nicole ushers me to a chair right next to the buffet table when we get to the pub the wake is being held in, and I couldn’t be more grateful because I’m starving, as usual.

We’re probably there for an hour before it happens.

“Oh shit.”

“What?” Dec asks in a slight panic because of my language.

“I think…um…I think my waters have just broken.”

“Please tell me you’re fucking joking, Lilly.”

I stand up to head to the toilet to check it out, but the second my arse leaves the chair I feel fluid run down my legs.

“Uh…nope, pretty sure it’s really happened.” I’d been having weird twinges for a few hours, but I put it down to the long car journey to get up here. Apparently, I should have taken them more seriously.

“Fuck. What do we do?” Dec asks, totally flustered. It’s quite amusing for me because he hardly ever gets worked up.

“Firstly, calm down.” I’m not entirely sure why I’m so calm about all of this. Some kind of natural instinct, I guess. “There’s a blue and white striped bag in the boot of the car. Please go and get it for me.”

“Are there instructions in there?”

“Just go and get it.” I watch Dec stop and say something to Nic before he rushes out of the pub.

Nic runs over to me, her eyes wide and a huge smile on her face. “The babies are coming?”

“It looks that way. When Dec reappears, will you help me to the toilet? You might have to apologise to the owner about the state of his chair,” I say.

When Dec comes back, I hand him the paperwork I printed out for the local hospital. He gives me a questioning look when I hand it over. “What? I was just being prepared. As you all said, it could happen at moment, so I wanted to have everything in place. Now ring them, tell them my waters have broken but I haven’t had any…argh,” I say as a pain goes across my lower belly. “No, tell them my contractions have just started.”

Dec immediately goes to pull his phone out of his pocket as Nic grabs the bag he brought in and helps me towards the toilets. “Oh,” I shout over my shoulder towards Dec, “and maybe call Lucas.”

After an hour, my contractions start coming hard and fast so the midwife tells Dec to bring me in.

“I’m so sorry for ruining your mum’s day,” I say to Nic.

“Are you crazy? She would have loved it. She always wanted to be a midwife. Come one, let’s go.”

“Aren’t you staying here?”

“Seriously?” she asks, looking around.

She has a point; the only people left here for the wake are a couple of elderly neighbours who are propping up the bar and watching the horse racing on the TV. “Okay, come on then.”

Nic helps me get in the car after laying out a waterproof cover on the seat. They’re maternity pads but I’m fairly sure I could have picked up the exact same thing in the puppy training department in our local pet shop.

“Hurry up,” Dec says anxiously from the driver’s seat.

“Seriously, Dec. You need to chill out a little.”

“You are about to push out two kids. Two, Lilly. Not one, like most normal people. Two. How are you so calm?”

“What’s the point in panicking? There’s nothing I can do to slow this down. It will happen as it will happen. Have you managed to get hold of Lucas yet?”

“No, still no answer.” So much for me telling him to keep his phone on loud just in case.

* * *

“Lucas is on his way,” Dec announces as he walks back in the room after answering his phone.

“About bloody time,” I grate out as I feel another oncoming contraction. “He’d better not miss this.”

Five hours later, I’m on my back with Dec holding one leg up and Nic the other while the midwife looks intently at my nether regions. If I cared about anything right now, I would feel sorry for my poor brother, but I don’t. My only focus is the pain I’m currently experiencing.

I was planning on having an epidural. The midwife agreed, but there was an issue with another woman and by the time the anaesthetist actually made it to my room, it was too late. So here I am, enduring the joys of labour with only gas and air to dull the pain. And let me tell you right now, that stuff does shit all.

“Argh,” I groan as one contraction rolls straight into another. It wasn’t so bad earlier when I got a break in between, but this is torture.

“That’s it, Lilly. I saw the head. A few more like that and baby number one will be here.”

“Lucas,” I mutter. “Need Lucas.”

“He’ll be here, honey,” Nic says softly. I’m so glad she’s here. I’m not sure how I would have done this without her. Dec’s great and all, but he’s like a fish out of water. Nic seems to know what I need and when.

“Okay, one more like that and we’ll have a baby, Lilly. Come on, you can do it.”

I clamp down on Dec and Nic’s hands as I give it everything I’ve got. I’m vaguely aware of a bang, but that’s about it as I focus on the task in hand.

Fuck knows how I got here in one piece or without being pulled over. The second I saw Declan’s name on my screen, I was running for the car. I just knew it was happening. I told her not to fucking go.

I pull the car into an empty disabled space outside the maternity ward and run as fast as I can while taking in the signs for the right way.

A midwife or nurse or someone points me in the right direction for Lilly when I briefly stop at reception. She can obviously tell I’m in a rush from the look of me.

I just swing the door to the room open as I hear the midwife say, “That’s it, Lilly. One big push.” I’m frozen to the spot as I take in the sight in front of me.

“Lucas,” Dec shouts. When I look up, I see that he’s in almost as much of a panic as I am. “For fuck’s sake, come here.”

My legs do as he says, although my brain is elsewhere.

I’m about to become a father.

I take over Dec’s position as Lilly grunts and groans. I look up at her and I think I fall in love with her all over again. Her hair is matted all around her head with strands stuck to her sweaty skin. Her face is red and covered in sweat. Her eyes are closed as she focuses on pushing. I don’t think she’s even aware I’m here.

Seconds later, I hear the words I never thought I’d hear.

“Congratulations, you’ve got a daughter.”

There’s a few seconds of silence before a tiny cry fills the room. I look over to the midwife, who’s holding this tiny person in her arms before she passes her to Lilly, whose eyes are now wide and filled with tears.

“Dad, would you like to cut the cord?”

“Uh—” I start as I pull my eyes away from my wife and daughter. I’ve read all about this, but right now, everything I’ve ever learnt has gone as I stand and stare at this little person.

“Lucas?” Nicole prompts.

“Yes, sorry.”

The midwife tells me what to do and I follow her instructions exactly. Once the cord is cut, I turn my eyes back to the most precious people in my life.

It’s not until I put my hand over Lilly’s on our daughter’s back that she looks up and registers that I’m there.

“You made it,” she says as her first tear drops.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Lilly. You did amazing.”

“You weren’t here; how can you say that?”

“Because she’s perfect, just like her mummy.”

After a few minutes, the midwife takes my daughter from Lilly to get her cleaned up, checked over and weighed.

“Are you ready for number two?” the other midwife in the room asks just Lilly lets out groan. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I briefly look around and see that both Declan and Nicole have disappeared.

“Come on, baby, you can do this. I want to meet my son.”

Lilly was incredible. I want to say that I helped, but I think I pretty much stood there gawping as my son was born. It was the most amazing and surreal experience.

Although both babies are a good size for twins at just over 5lbs each, they get whisked off to special care to be checked over properly. I diligently follow them so they’re not alone while the midwives attend to Lilly. She’s so exhausted that I don’t think she even hears me tell her where I’m going, let alone realises that I leave the room.

I stand in the corner of the room and watch as the nurses check every inch of both babies. I guess they do the technical things I read about, like checking their oxygen levels and that kind of thing, but I’m too busy staring at the perfection that is my children. My daughter has a light dusting of blonde hair and a cute little button nose like her mummy, and my son has dark hair like me.

I thought I loved Lilly before, but having just watched her deliver my babies into the world has blown away what I felt for her before. Lilly and the two little people in front of me are my life. Fuck all the bad stuff that happened in the past. I have my own family now, and I’m going to show them every day how amazing and important they are.

The nurses nod me over when they are finished. They explain everything they’ve done and that they’re happy with both of them; they just need to monitor them for a while to make sure they progress and eat as they should.

I sit down between my two little people and look between them. I feel like I could look at them for days and it would never be enough.

Eventually, I get distracted by voices in front of me. When I look up I see Lilly in a wheelchair with one of the midwives behind her.

“Are they okay?” Lilly asks in a panic.

“They’re perfect. This is just a precaution because they’re early.”

“Oh thank God. I was so worried when I realised they were here,” she says, starting to tear up.

Lilly thanks the midwife before standing on unsteady legs so she can see them properly.

“Sit here,” I say, giving her my seat. After all, she did all the hard work; she should be the one making use of it.

“Look what we made,” she says softly, looking between the two cots.

“Look what you did. You were incredible. I’m sorry I almost missed it.”

“You didn’t though. You got here.”

“So, names then,” I suggest. “Are we going with what we agreed?”

“Yes, I think they’re perfect. Especially hers,” she says, nodding towards my daughter.

“Okay, so Natalie Elaine and Nathan Christopher. Welcome to the world,” I say, giving them both a kiss on the nose.” When I look up, Lilly has tears streaming down her cheeks and a huge smile on her face.

I lean down and put my lips to hers for a sweet but innocent kiss. “I love you, Lilly Dalton,” I say when I pull back. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For trusting me. For believing in me. For becoming my wife. For giving me the most perfect children in the world.” Her tears continue to fall as she listens to me.

“You make it easy, Luc.” Now I’m not sure how true that is, but I accept the words from her anyway.

“Okay, lovely, are you ready to have a go at feeding these gorgeous little ones?”

Lilly excitedly agrees. I know she’s dying to hold them properly.

The midwife pulls the curtain around and I watch as Lilly has her first attempt at feeding. I find the whole thing incredible. Not only has she grown both of those perfect little humans, she’s now keeping them feed and watered. I’m in complete awe.

“You have some visitors at reception. It’s technically not visiting hours, but I’ll let them in for a few minutes. You’ll need to be quiet though,” a nurse says when she pops her head in.

“Shit, I forgot all about them,” I admit.

“They look a little exhausted,” the nurse says with a laugh.

“Let them in.”

“When I was wheeled down here they were both fast asleep in the corridor,” Lilly says. “The midwife wanted to wake them up but I said no. Nicole had her head on Dec’s shoulder; they looked so sweet. I’ve never seen them like that before.”

“Hey, how’s it going you two—or should I say four?” Dec asks when he gets to us.

“They’re prefect.”

“Of course they are. You made them, Lills.”

“Congratulations, hun. You were amazing,” Nicole says, coming over to give Lilly a hug.

“So, who’ve we got here then?” Dec asks, looking down into the cots.

I let Lilly tell them their names and the reasons behind them. Nicole bursts into tears when she hears what we’ve called our little lady.

“I hate to distract you from these two, but I’m kind of stranded here now and it occurred to me that you two have two cars. Any chance of me taking one back?” Dec asks to my horror. Lilly’s car has all the baby paraphernalia in it, so we need that one. That means I’m going to have to give him the keys to my Jag. The huge smile on Declan’s face tells me he knows that, as well.

“Stay in the slow lane and do not go over seventy. Actually, on second thoughts, don’t go on the motorway at all.”

“Yeah right, whatever,” he says, still smiling. I swear he looks way more excited about the prospect of driving my car than meeting his niece and nephew.

“I’m serious. If you damage her, I’ll damage you.” My threat is laughed at by everyone in the room but me. “Just be careful,” I say, reluctantly handing Declan the keys.

“Can I come and see you again tomorrow?” Nicole asks Lilly.

“Of course you can. I’m sorry for ruining today.”

“Are you kidding? It’s been amazing. Being able to be there for you and these two has been incredible. Thank you for allowing me to help.”

“I wouldn’t have had it any other way—well, unless he was here on time,” she says, nodding to me. I just shrug. What’s done is done. She rolls her eyes at me before turning towards Declan. “Thank you,” she says, giving him a hug. “You were amazing. A little frantic, but amazing. I hope you’re calmer when it’s your kids being born.” I can’t help but laugh at the look on his face when she says that.

“I used to think that too, Declan, but look at me now. Your time will come whether you want it or not. You mark my words,” I warn as I look at Lilly. No, she wasn’t what I wanted, but now I couldn’t imagine my life without her. The same will happen to Declan one day. I really hope I get to watch it happen; it should be entertaining, watching him get whipped.

We all say our goodbyes before Lilly and I take up our previous positions of staring at our babies.

“What time is it?”

“Just gone 3am. You should get some sleep.”