Steph breathed in the warm air, steam rising from the tub as she lay back. The Dean-Miles clan knew how to take care of themselves and their guests.

So warm. How long had it been since heat had sank deliciously into her skin? Since she could take a moment to indulge in something as simple as a bath? Far too long. She didn’t indulge. At first it was because she didn’t feel as if she deserved indulgence of any kind, and then medical school trained it out of her. It had become habit to work and work and sleep and work.

Then she’d had Nate and the world seemed to slow down, to become softer and harder at the same time. Her personal world had become one of stolen moments with her son. Those beautiful moments when she looked at him and everything seemed fresh and new.

But then she would look outward and realize the world would come for him and she was afraid.

She wiped a tear away and took another breath, letting the sound of the rocking chair creaking lull her. As long as that chair was rocking, Brody was here with their baby, and he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Nate.

She closed her eyes and relaxed because she wasn’t alone for once.

She would rest for a minute and then get going. Maybe the superhot water would help her sleep. Maybe not being the only one responsible for Nate would do the same.

She relaxed and found herself in a different world.

 

 

Driving, her hands on the wheel, music in the background. Just a few more months and high school would be done. No more teachers. No more books…until college, of course, but that felt like Disney World.

She yawns, the lateness of the hour pressing in on her. She knows she should have left that stupid party hours before but Kyle had been there and he’d brought her a beer. She didn’t like the taste, but he’d been so insistent that she’d found herself slowly drinking it down.

She’d liked the taste more when it had been on his lips. She feels her whole body flush. He’d kissed her. Not the first time, of course. She’s been kissed before, but this was different. This had sent a forbidden thrill through her system.

Like the big guy. Big gorgeous Aussie with hands that could cover her whole breast.

No. That was wrong. He wasn’t here.

She’s driving and she’s young. Whole life ahead of her. Wasn’t that what that light ahead meant?

The light, so bright she’s momentarily blinded, and then she’s flying. The car her dad had fixed up for her sixteenth birthday wasn’t supposed to fly, but here she was. A flash of light, a scream of metal.

Somewhere in the distance she heard crying. Wailing.

A mother’s loss. A wife’s pain.

Pain. Yes, she felt it flashing through her. This was what she deserved. This was why she’d been born. To ache. To hurt.

She tips the bottle back. She paid some asshole older guy to buy it for her. Naturally he wanted more than cash and that shame was on her, too. It doesn’t matter. There are no more Kyles with sweet kisses that end in promises of dates. There is no more future, nothing beyond the harsh burn of cheap vodka that dulls the sound of those sympathetic voices.

The angry ones she can handle. The yelling, the name calling, they all feel like home to her now. It’s her mother’s voice telling her it wasn’t her fault that makes her sick.

If it wasn’t her fault, then there was no meaning to be had. If it was, then she knew what to do. Punish herself since no one else would.

She looks at the knives in her mother’s kitchen but that would be far too easy. Somewhere across town there’s another woman and she’s lying in bed, her legs useless because an idiot kid should have left the party an hour before.

She can’t end her own suffering while Avery Charles is still in pain.

I don’t recognize you anymore. I can’t look at you. Where is my little girl?

Can’t he see she’s buried under three tons of guilt and keeps piling it on because it won’t ever be enough? There is no redemption. None.

Her father walks out and she knows that it’s right and good and she thinks about how she can hurt herself tonight.

A warm hand encloses hers. It’s only for the mission. It’s their cover, but her heart still skips a beat the minute he touches her. She does good now. She’s found her mission, her purpose.

Does it make up for the wrong she’s done? His hand squeezing hers feels like a gift she’d never expected. Brody. Even his name is masculine.

Would it be different with him? Would she feel clean? Or would it be one more way to degrade herself?

The baby’s coming. Yes, this pain was deserved because she’d been stupid enough to think she could steal a moment’s pleasure. Stupid enough to think the punishment was over. She screams and wishes she’d never put on that ridiculous gown and tried to seduce Brody Carter into staying with her. There is no fooling herself in this place. As the pain wracks through her body, threatening to split her in two, she knows she’s lied to herself, to him. She loves him. She wants him.

This is her punishment, to know he can’t love her back.

And then she holds him. Not the father. No. She won’t hold the father again. He is lost to her, a silent figure, but the son isn’t silent.

He blinks open his eyes and she finds her purpose.

I am going to gut that kid of yours. Do you understand me, girl? I’ll do it in front of you if you don’t get what I need out of that fucker.

 

 

“Steph?”

Cold air shocked her, her whole body shaking. Nate. He was going to kill her son and she didn’t even understand what was going on. Terror flooded her system. She wouldn’t be able to save him.

“Nate,” she said, but it came out as a whisper, her voice hoarse as though she’d been screaming and couldn’t do it anymore.

“He’s fine. He’s all right.”

The dream had her in a fog. Why was she wet? And naked. She was naked and Brody was lifting her up.

He held her close. “Hush, luv. You’re going to wake the baby and have every bodyguard in the area running in here. I don’t want to have to punch the men we’re paying to keep us safe so stop fighting me. It was only a dream.”

A dream. A waltz through Hell was more like it.

What would he think if he knew the things she’d done? How she’d punished herself, tried to obliterate herself? Would he think he wasn’t good enough for her then? Or would he look at her like her father had? Would he figure out she was nothing but a piece of garbage to sweep under the rug and out of his life?

“Come on. You’re shaking. Can you stand?”

He was holding her and getting soaking wet. She was making a fool of herself. She slowly nodded, trying to get her mind off that terrible dream. She could still feel the wretched heat coming off the boss’s body as he’d leaned in and explained how he would kill her precious baby if she didn’t perform. She could smell the acrid scent of the cigar he’d smoked the whole time he was there.

Cool tile steadied her as Brody eased her down. She covered her breasts, wrapping her arms around her body in an attempt at modesty.

Brody stepped away for a moment and she was left shivering with the memory of how that man had stormed into her clinic, brandishing guns and knives and threatening everything she held dear if she didn’t help him.

“He told me I had to get him what he wanted,” she said quietly.

Brody came back, a big, fluffy towel in his hands. He wrapped it around her, his arms following and pulling her back to the comfort of his body. “Did he say what he wanted?”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t know. Maybe, but I don’t remember right now. I think Taggart’s right and I need someone to walk me through it. God, Brody, I want to forget.”

“I know, but you have to remember. Not tonight though. Tonight you need sleep. Try not to think about it.”

How the hell was she going to do that? She couldn’t get the vision out of her head.

“You’re fine now.” He held her tight, his voice whispering against her ear. “You’re safe and here with me and Nate’s sleeping. We’re all safe. No need to be afraid.”

She loved how strong he was, the way his arms seemed to cage her in the most delicious way. There was safety in that sweet cage.

But she had to remember that he’d made his choice long ago.

“I’m all right. I’ll get dressed now. Thank you for waking me up.” She made the words as polite as possible.

“You could have drowned.”

That was a bit of a stretch since her hair wasn’t even wet. “I’m good now. Like you said it was nothing more than a dream.”

“I don’t want to let you go,” he whispered.

Would it be so bad to let him kiss her? To spend another night in his arms? Maybe if she let Brody make love to her, she wouldn’t think about that terrible dream. Maybe he could tire her out and then she could sleep.

She knew it was wrong and there was a part of her that wondered if this wasn’t another sick way to punish herself more. She wasn’t planning on a life with Brody. He could be in Nate’s life and not truly in hers. But maybe she could let herself have one more night with him.

“What if you didn’t?”

She felt him go still behind her. What if he’d been joking? What if those words had been nothing more than a way to try to make her feel better about herself, and now he was going to turn her down again?

A sick feeling lit the pit of her stomach as she waited for him to let her go.

Then she felt him press a kiss to the top of her head, his hands moving to turn her around. “You won’t regret this, Stephanie. I promise. It won’t be like last time. Last time I was quick and rough and I didn’t give you what you needed.”

She let him turn her, staring up at the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen. “I got an orgasm, as I recall. A few of them. I think that was what I needed.”

“Tell me you didn’t want D/s sex.” He was staring down at her, but there was no hesitation in those warm eyes now. His hands came up to cup her cheeks. “Don’t lie to me. I’ll know if you lie to me and it won’t go well.”

Wow. There it was. There was that dark, deep voice he used when he wanted to get something done. When he needed her to obey him while they were in the field, he would turn that rich-as-honey voice on her and she would find herself nodding and doing what he told her to.

But she wasn’t going to open herself up that much. She couldn’t, not when she knew that tomorrow morning they would be back to caution. “I read too many of Serena’s books. That’s why I did what I did. It’s okay. The sex was great.”

It had been the best sex she’d ever had. Since the majority of sex she’d had before hadn’t been about finding pleasure. It had been about escaping, and she hadn’t cared if she felt anything at all. Sex had been dirty, but then she’d been dirty, too.

So the sex she’d had with Brody had at least been for the right reason, to bring pleasure to them both.

“It wasn’t. Oh, it got the job done, no doubt,” he rumbled as he stared down at her. “But it didn’t fix my soul or yours. It didn’t connect us the way it should have. I want that connection. I want to feel you, and not only in a physical way. This isn’t playing. Playing is a silly word for what I want from you.”

“What word would you use?”

“Everything. I want everything.”

She couldn’t give him that, but she could give him tonight. Well, she could be with him for as long as Nate would allow. He slept fairly well, but certainly not through the night. What was she doing? “Nate’s going to wake up.”

His hands tightened slightly, gently forcing her to look up at him. “And I’ll feed him and change his nappy and rock him back to sleep. And then I’ll get back to making sure his mum can sleep, too. I’ve been gone and it was wrong of me. Let me make a bit of that up to you.”

“Brody,” she began because she didn’t want to lead him to believe this was really going anywhere beyond tonight.

“Don’t think and don’t argue. Let me take care of you. Let me show you everything is going to be okay.”

“For tonight,” she insisted.

“If that’s all you can accept,” he allowed. “But we’re going to do this my way.”

His head lowered down, sensual lips brushing hers. A rush of heat flashed through her body and it felt like her skin was alive with sensation. Even where he wasn’t touching her, her skin was primed, like a flower that knew it was finally going to get some love from the sun.

He kissed her, his lips moving over hers in a slow, methodical fashion. It was far from the way it had been the first time. The first time, he’d gone fast, passionate, like he couldn’t wait to swallow her whole.

This was different. This was thoughtful, meditative.

Was he taking his time because he felt differently about her now that she was a mom? Was she not as sexy as she’d been before Nate? Her body had changed. She hadn’t shed all the pregnancy pounds yet. She wasn’t a supermodel with two trainers, a nutritionist, and a chef.

“Stop thinking,” he whispered. “I know that big brain of yours is working. I can feel it. Stop. There’s no thinking tonight. No analyzing. There’s just you and me and what I can do to your body. Drop the towel, Stephanie.”

She bit her bottom lip. “Maybe we should go to the bed.”

“Because I turned the light off so Nate could sleep? I didn’t. The light on the nightstand is still on and if it wasn’t I would turn it on. I’m not fucking you in the dark. You’re going to look in my eyes and say my name and I’m going to do the same. It’s going to be you and me, and no pretending it ain’t exactly what it is. Drop that towel and let me look at you. I close my eyes every damn night since the day I met you and do you know what I see? I see you. I see you laughing and frowning, and they’re equally beautiful because they’re equally you. Since the night when we made Nate all I can see is you sleeping in that bed. I didn’t sneak out right away, you know. I stayed for three hours. I held you for the longest time and watched you while you slept. I only left when I had to and I did it because I thought it was best for you. You’ve been a ghost haunting me every night since that one.”

Somehow she couldn’t believe that. She’d been the one who sat up every night thinking about him. He’d been in his happy London club. “Somehow I think the subs at The Garden took care of you. It’s all right, Brody. We weren’t together. It was one night and it didn’t change anything.”

One hand tugged the band out of her hair, spilling it across her shoulders. “I think the baby sleeping in the next room is evidence that night changed everything. And I’m trying to tell you that I haven’t had another woman since I left you. I wasn’t off gallivanting around and forgetting you. I spent every moment of our time away from each other miserable as hell. So let that towel drop and give me what I’ve only seen in my dreams for a year. Let me see you.”

She wasn’t sure why she did it, but her feet moved. She stepped back, putting a small but critical distance between them as her hands floated up and she dropped the towel.

The offering of a submissive to her chosen Dominant.

The towel hit the floor and she felt herself flush. She wasn’t as pretty as she’d been the first time. Now she had stretch marks that spoke of her pregnancy. Her belly was still rounded, her breasts not as firm.

“Stop it,” he said. “Don’t you think about anything but how the air feels on your skin. Don’t you think about how you look. I’ll tell you what I see. I see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I see that my dreams of her were nothing compared to the real thing. She’s stunning and my heart aches at the thought of her not understanding how beautiful she is.”

“Brody, I still haven’t lost the weight I gained with Nate,” she said, trying not to let his words affect her too much. She was already on the verge of tears, and she’d cried enough.

“You get one,” he said, his voice deep. “One time I’ll let you get away with saying something like that, but now you know the rule. You are beautiful and thinking or saying anything else about yourself will end in discipline.”

“You can’t control my thoughts.” But she could feel her lips curling up at the very arrogance of him thinking he could. This was the Brody she’d fallen for. She’d known his larger-than-life, damn the torpedoes attitude had been half truth and half cover, but she’d adored it when he would walk in, take control, and do something or say something ridiculously over the top to make her day better.

“Watch me,” he replied. “After I’ve spanked the hell out of that gorgeous arse a dozen times, you won’t think that way again. I’ll tie you up and torture you until you agree with me that you’re the most gorgeous woman on the earth.”

“Fine, I’m gorgeous.” She didn’t believe it, but standing here felt weird. “Shouldn’t you get undressed? Or did you change your mind?”

His eyes roamed over her body, not missing an inch. “I didn’t change my mind at all. I told you how this is going to be. The first time we did this, I let you push me.”

“The first time we did this, you didn’t want to.”

His eyes narrowed. “You know damn well that’s not true. Turn around and put your hands on the side of the tub.”

“Why would I…” The answer hit her with the force of a steam engine. “You want to spank me?”

It should have come out in that horrified, I’m-a-feminist, shocked tone she often used when a random asshole told her she was cute to think she could be a doctor but they would prefer to see a man for their medical needs. Nope. It came out all breathy and porny. The porny part might have been because when she watched porn—rarely—she gravitated toward the movies where the big, dominant man spanked his lover to orgasm.

Which likely was a myth. Like most porn.

“Yes, and every second you make me wait is another smack to that pretty arse of yours.” His hands were on his hips, his jaw squared as he looked her over. “If you push me too hard, I’ll find a way to clamp your nipples and then I’ll spank you.”

What was she doing? She was standing here naked with a man who’d broken her heart once already.

“Tell me you don’t want to know what it feels like.” His voice had lost its harsh edge, sliding into silky smoothness. “Tell me you don’t want to try it once. You’re the woman who was brave enough to get on your knees and present yourself to me like the sweetest treat I’ve ever been offered. Do what I’m asking. You can always stop me. One word will work tonight. No is all I need to hear. If you say that, then I’ll get you dressed and I’ll sleep beside you so you know you’re safe. But I think you’re braver than that. I think you’re still a woman who knows what she wants.”

“How do you know I haven’t already tried it?” The minute the words were out of her mouth, she wanted to call them back. She’d spat them out to protect herself, as though saying cruel words to him could throw some sort of force field around her.

Because deep down she did know what Li had been trying to tell her. Deep inside she knew Brody wasn’t as arrogant as he seemed sometimes. Under that blustery exterior, there was a man who wasn’t sure of how smart he was, how worthy he was.

Before she could apologize, he moved into the space again, a sad smile playing on his face as his fingertips brushed over her cheek. “I know because you wanted me and then you were pregnant. I know because you wouldn’t have changed your mind and heart that quickly. I was stupid to think you had a boyfriend, but then I was blindly jealous, and I hope you can forgive me for that. Hell, luv, I need you to forgive me for a lot of things, but we can deal with that another time. For tonight, let me give you what you want. Let me do what I should have done that first night. Let me show you how good this can be.”

She was afraid. Afraid to want him. Afraid to hope that this could be something good.

She let it all go and focused on him.

“Tell me something, luv.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead, the light touch of his lips making her shiver. “Are you thinking about anything but me right now?”

She wasn’t now. Everything else had melted away and she realized that she needed this. Needed him. Tomorrow would make sense of itself. Tonight she was going to know what it meant to be his sub.

She turned and placed her hands on the side of the big tub. At some point he’d pulled the plug and the water was all gone now, but the whole place still smelled like the lavender bath salts she’d used. She breathed it in, letting the comforting scent wash over her.

She heard Brody moving behind her and tried to relax. She’d made her decision—to give him control, to let go for once in her life. She wasn’t in charge of this. He was. She had to trust him.

“Now that is a beautiful sight.” His voice seemed to roll over her skin like a warm wave, warmer than the water she’d sunk herself into. “This is what I missed out on. How much sex have you had, luv?”

She tensed, a vision of the ways she’d degraded herself flashing through her.

His hand steadied her, pressing on her lower back. “I wasn’t asking because I care how many men you’ve had. I don’t. I was asking if I was the only man you’ve had in the last couple of years.”

That was better. She had a good answer to that question. “Before you I hadn’t had sex in four years.”

He groaned. “Well, I’m going to make up for that because this is how it’s going to go. It’s going be long and slow and I’m going to know every single inch of this beautiful body like it’s a map I need to memorize. I’ll be able to close my eyes and know how many kisses it takes to get from your mouth to your nipple to your sweet belly to that pussy I’m going to eat like a starving man.”

Every word seemed to turn on an invisible switch in her body, winding and winding her up until she was sure she would uncoil the moment he touched her again. She managed to hold perfectly still as he traced the curve of her spine with his fingertips.

“This is a spankable arse.” He cupped her cheeks in one big hand. “Hold on to the side of the tub and try not to scream. Don’t want to wake the baby now, do we?”

Scream? She was about to ask why she would…and then a crack resounded through the room and she bit her bottom lip, biting back the cry that threatened to erupt. Pain blistered across her backside, the sting hard on her skin. He slapped her ass five times in rapid succession and then soothed his hand over the tender flesh.

“I know it hurts right now, but give it a moment. Let it work its magic.” His hand held the heat in. “Do you have any idea how lovely you are to me right now? You’re always stunning, but like this you take away my every worry until all I can think about is how I’m going to take care of you. How I’m going to make you crazy for me.”

That shocking pain was turning into something else. Heat and ache. It sank into her muscles and she could feel herself getting wet. She could feel arousal start to pulse through her system and she breathed a sigh of relief because she hadn’t been entirely certain she would ever want sex again. Since she’d been pregnant, she’d felt sexless and more like a mother than a possible lover. She’d worried something about Nate’s birth had burned out her sex drive.

Nope. It was good. That sex drive was roaring back to life, and she realized it had nothing to do with time or healing and everything to do with this one man. No one in her life had ever made her hotter than Brody Carter. All he had to do was walk in a room and her hormones lit up.

Another smack cracked through the air. One and two and three and she couldn’t hold back a low moan.

“Can you handle more?” Brody asked.

It would kill her. She would cry. No. She wasn’t giving in and crying might be nice. She held it together all the time. She was the one who had to make all the decisions, take all the blame and responsibility. “Yes.”

Rapid-fire slaps took over her life and she held on. Nothing mattered except getting through it. She moaned and felt tears slipping from her eyes as he kept up the torture. She didn’t count, didn’t think about when it would end. She gave over and let it take her, let her body accept his discipline and sensitize her skin.

The room went silent and it took her a second to realize he was done. There was silence between them for a moment, but it wasn’t empty. She could feel his hands on her, feel the will he put into them. He wanted her.

“Tell me how you feel.” His voice was low as though he was afraid to truly break the quiet communion between them.

“I hurt and ache, but in the best way.” She’d never felt anything like it. Yes, there was pain, but this wasn’t a wild attempt to release her tension or purge her demons. This was calculated. He knew what he was doing and there was no crazed edge to it. She was safe. She’d gotten to cry, to let some of the toxins in her system go, but in a surgical way.

There was peace to this, comfort.

But mostly a wild need she’d never felt before.

“Come here. We’re done with discipline.” His hands curved up and he helped her balance as she stood on shaky legs. He gently turned her around and she was hauled up against him.

So big. He was six foot seven inches of pure muscled male, and he overwhelmed her every sense. Even as she felt the ache in her backside, her pussy was warm and soft. Her body felt languid, but she managed to let her arms float up around him. One big hand was on the back of her neck, the other steady against her spine. She was pressed to him, her nipples rubbing against the soft cotton of his shirt. She felt the cool of his belt buckle brush against her belly and the denim of his jeans tangle with her legs as he lowered his head once more.

His tongue invaded, warm silk stroking her lips and then deep inside her mouth. She didn’t need to breathe. She needed this. She needed long, slow kisses that seemed to go on forever, as though he’d become as important to her as air or water. Every kiss took her higher.

She needed him.

The thought scared her, but she pushed it aside. This was for one night only. Tomorrow they would go back to being wary co-parents, but tonight she was taking what she needed.

He kissed her until she was breathless and then she found herself turned in his arms, her back to his front. His arms wound around her, sliding down her body in a slow exploration. She let her head drift back, resting against his chest as she let him have his way. His callused hands cupped her breasts, testing their weight and learning her curves.

He rolled her nipples. “How sensitive are you? Tell me if I hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. Nate’s only two months old.”

The only way he could hurt her now was by walking away. “I’m fine, Brody. His birth was natural, and despite the fact that he was as big as a freaking linebacker, I didn’t need surgical intervention. Please touch me and don’t make me explain things like episiotomies to you right now. I didn’t have one, by the way.”

“I don’t want to know,” he vowed. “I only want to know that you’re healthy and you want this.”

His big hand covered her belly, easing down her body, inching ever closer to the part of her that needed the most attention.

“I want it. I want you,” she managed to say. All thoughts of anything but that hand and its destination were gone, banished to the dark regions of her mind.

“I want you more than I can say. Let me show you how much. Let me show you what I want. I want this pussy soaked for me. I want it warm and wet and ready. I want you to see me walk in a room, remember what I can do to you, and have your whole body make itself ready for me.”

Every word was a drug working on her system.

“Please, Brody.” She wasn’t sure how long she could hold out, and that suddenly seemed like a joyous thing. In her daily life she measured time and duties, often merely counting down time until the next day or duty presented itself. Life had become something to be endured rather than celebrated, but she couldn’t wait for this. She needed this more than she needed her next breath.

She stiffened when she finally felt a single finger slide over the pad of her clitoris.

“Relax, luv,” he whispered. “Let me get you started and then I’ll show you what I can really do. Can you be good for me? Can you hold still and not scream when you come? Because I’m about to make you come. I’m going to fuck your pussy with my fingers and you’re going to come all over my hand and then we’ll begin again. Do you understand me? But it all stops if you try to take control. This isn’t the clinic or an operating theatre. This is my place. This is where I’m the king and I make the decisions, and you’re my precious submissive who takes all the pleasure I can give her and serves her Master.”

“Yes. Yes, Brody.” She was shaking with desire and for the first time wondered if she knew what she was getting into. The first time they’d made love had been the best sex of her life, but it had been quick and he hadn’t talked much. He’d inhaled her, but he hadn’t made a slow, decadent meal of her the way he was doing now. He hadn’t tortured her with promises and teased her with words.

This was so much better. This wasn’t a random body in bed, giving her incidental pleasure. This was Brody and he was focused on her, only her.

“Put your left foot on the tub,” he ordered.

That would leave her completely exposed. It would open her up to him in a wholly vulgar way. Of course, it was all about perspective. It could be vulgar or it would open her to a way that led to an orgasm. What was vulgar about that? It was all about intent. This wasn’t a crazy attempt to degrade herself. She didn’t want to punish herself. She wanted connection. It might be an infinitely more dangerous thing to seek, but it was all she could think about now. Him. Brody. He’d haunted her dreams since the moment she’d laid eyes on him.

She brought her foot up, giving him the access he wanted, and immediately was rewarded with the feel of his fingers sliding through her labia. She was slick and he moved easily.

“That’s what I want. Yes, I want this sweet pussy ready for my cock.” His hips moved, rubbing his erection against the small of her back. “Can you feel me? Can you feel how much I want you? Do you know why I’m going to make sure you come before I touch you with my cock?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re going to feel so good wrapped around me that I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back. I think you’re going to be hot and tight and my dick won’t be able to hold off. I’ll thrust in and nothing will stop me from filling you up with my come.”

She shivered as one big finger eased inside her. His thumb was on the button of her clitoris, rotating and pressing down as he began to ease that finger in and out of her pussy. She sighed and let him hold her up as he started to fuck her with purpose.

His mouth was on her ear, tongue licking along the shell. “That’s right. Give over. Let me control this. All you have to do is take what I give you.”

He added a second finger, curling up deep inside her. Pressure built, pulsing up like a bottle of champagne waiting to be uncorked. She rode the wave, letting it take her higher.

“Let go. Give it all to me. You’re close. I can feel you clamping down on my fingers,” he whispered. “Let go. I’ll catch you.”

He rubbed someplace deep inside her and she couldn’t hold back. The orgasm exploded through her, starting in her core and blasting outward. She started to yell out, but he bit her ear, a sharp, stinging rebuke that somehow amplified the pleasure coursing through her system.

“Quiet,” he admonished. He continued to rub, bringing her down with ease. “We’re not done and I don’t want to take a break to get the lad back to sleep. Hush and let the calm take you.”

The calm. Yes, she’d never had this sense of peace and calm after sex with anyone but him. Of course, the first time she’d fallen asleep with dreams of forever in her head, but this time she was smarter.

And what the hell. As long as they were both single, why couldn’t they be co-parents with benefits?

Yes, that made sense. Her brain was pleasantly fuzzy as he eased his fingers out of her and kissed her shoulder.

“Now it’s my turn,” he promised.

He picked her up and Stephanie knew his turn was going to be good for her, too.

 

* * * *

 

“Now, it’s my turn,” he managed. What he really wanted to say was something about how now she’d done it. She’d given herself to him and he wasn’t about to give her back. She was his and he would prove it to her over and over again. By the time he was done with her she wouldn’t have the energy to fight him.

Brody picked her up, loving the feel of her in his arms. He knew he was a big bastard and could lift about anything he needed to, but there was something about being able to pick up Stephanie and haul her up high that made him feel like a true blue man.

Unfortunately, he also knew he’d fucked up royally and that she thought this was a one-time thing. There wasn’t even the hope in his heart that she was surrendering to him for good. But perhaps if he showed her exactly what he could do for her, she would change her mind and forgive him.

He opened the door as quietly as he could. It had been a miracle that her screams hadn’t woken Nate, but there he was. His son was asleep in his borrowed crib, one tiny fist up by his face as though even in sleep he was ready for a fight.

His dad was, too. He was ready for the most important fight of his life.

Steph looked up at him and he could see that she was coming out of the sweet fog of the orgasm he’d given her. He would never forget that moment when her whole body had tightened and she’d clamped down on his fingers.

That was going to be his dick soon, and he couldn’t wait.

He eased her down on the bed, leaning over to brush his mouth against hers. “Keep quiet. I turned on the white noise app on my phone, but I think his mother crying out would still wake the lad up, and I’m not done with you yet.”

She looked up at him, uncertainty clear on her face. “Maybe we should…”

“What?” He whispered the words against her jawline as he started to kiss his way down her body. “Go find another room to do this in? I think the bodyguards would be surprised, to say the least. We could always have one of them come in here with Nate, but I swear Tucker would show up and ask a million questions. He’s like a horny teenager except he’s never had anyone give him the full birds-and-bees talk. I think it’s best we keep this private.”

He heard her take a breath, knew she was going to argue with him now that the first rush of pleasure had come and gone. Now she would go back to all the rational reasons they didn’t work—namely he’d been a blind arsehole and he’d hurt her terribly. He wasn’t good at talking. It was one of the dumb reasons he’d had for staying away from her in the first place, but now he could see talking wasn’t at all what she needed.

“Brod…”

He licked her nipple, curling his tongue around the bud. Whatever she’d been about to say seemed to die on her lips. “You’ve got the most beautiful breasts. I can’t get enough of them.”

“Brody, we should talk.” The words came out breathy.

Even as she said them he was moving to the other breast. “You can talk but quietly. Don’t wake the baby, luv. As for me, I’d rather not talk unless I’m talking about how gorgeous you are and how much I missed you.”

“You can’t have missed me too much,” she whispered back. “Since you knew exactly where I was and how to get in touch with me.”

That had been a miscalculation on his part. No more talking about the past. He’d fucked up in the past. He needed her focused on the now. The future would work out. He would make sure of it. Now that he was here with her and the baby, he knew one thing. He wasn’t leaving them again. Not for anything.

He got up on his knees. He had a few weapons in his arsenal. He wasn’t sure why, but Steph liked the way he looked. He thought he was a grim-looking bloke, but her eyes always lit up when he took off his shirt. Distraction. That was what he needed to give her.

He pulled his T-shirt over his head.

“That’s not fair,” she whispered, her eyes steady on his chest.

He wasn’t going to play fair. Not when it came to this. He would use every trick he could find. He pulled his belt free and unbuttoned the fly of his slacks. “Nothing fair about this. This is about what I want. What I need. And I need a taste. I didn’t get a proper taste of you and I can’t get that regret out of my head. Do you have any idea what it’s like to sit up all night long trying to come up with how your pussy’s going to taste on my tongue? Will you be sweet like fruit? Or rich like cream?”

“You need other things to think about,” she said, but this time her lips were curling up. “I sit up at night thinking about what I need to buy for the clinic.”

He shifted his body, getting down to his belly and laying a sweet kiss on hers. “No, I like my nightly ritual better.”

He ran his tongue down from her belly button. This was where she’d carried their son. The bittersweet thought ran through him. If he’d been with her, he would have kissed the growing mound, measuring it with his hands and giving her comfort while they waited for their boy.

He wanted to apologize, but she wouldn’t listen to him. Not yet. Oh, she might say all the right things, but he hadn’t earned her forgiveness, so those words would be meaningless.

He breathed in her scent. Sex and soap and a sweetness that made his cock tighten. Her pussy was a thing of beauty. Smooth and ripe as any peach. She’d either kept up her grooming routine or at some point had that perfect piece of flesh lasered to perfection. “Don’t move. I don’t want to stop and have to discipline you again. I would rather spend my time doing this.”

He set his mouth on her, loving the way she squirmed under him. She made mewling sounds that went straight to his cock. He could feel himself pulsing even as he tongued her clitoris, rubbing that nub over and over. She was the most delicious of desserts. He could taste her arousal, the lush flavor of her orgasm. It coated his tongue and left him desperate for more.

Her legs spread wider, practically begging him to keep up his torture. He had no plans to stop. Certainly not until she’d come all over his tongue. That was what he needed. He needed to show her all the ways he could take care of her. She might be smart and quick and capable, but she couldn’t do this to herself. She needed him.

He parted her labia, sucking each side gently and leaving not an inch of her feminine flesh unloved. He let his thumb find her clit, pressing down and rotating in time with his tongue. So much sweet cream and it was all for him.

She was all his, and though she might not know it yet, she was staying that way. She was staying that way forever.

He speared her with his tongue, letting that glorious arousal coat him like honey. He felt the moment she gave over again, letting the orgasm take her. She was quiet, but he could hear her whimper and felt the way her hands found his hair, sinking in and twisting as though she needed to keep him where he was.

He could have told her he wasn’t going anywhere, but he was far too busy enjoying her. His whole body felt alive, every inch of his skin lit with the pure need to connect with her.

Since the moment he’d realized she was asleep in that tub and known some kind of horror movie was playing out in her head, all he’d been able to think about was getting her out of that place. He wasn’t sure what she’d been dreaming about, but he’d known it was bad. His heart had ached and he’d realized that his connection to her was about much more than lust. Sex with her could be more than it had been that one night when he’d first taken her. Sex could be more. They could be more.

But that was a thought for another time. Now he could have her. He’d done his job. He pushed himself up to shove down his pants and get inside her.

He stopped, the image of his normally upright and slightly prissy doc making him freeze. Her body was flushed with orgasm, her face relaxed. Her hair was spread out over the pillows and her body lax and beautifully wanton. She didn’t look like the woman who competently handled everything from broken bones to viral outbreaks. She looked like a woman who’d been well loved.

That was what he could give her. That was the one thing no one else could give her. No one on the face of the earth would love her as long and well and devoutly as he would.

Her eyes opened and he saw doubt creep back in. “Brody?”

He shook his head. “I’m memorizing this moment. I never want to forget how beautiful you are right this second.”

When she was eighty, he would look at her and see her like this.

Her lips curled up. “Stop memorizing, Carter. I want you. I need you. Come down here and kiss me again. I want to feel you inside me.”

That was an offer he would never again refuse. He’d been stupid to have wasted all the time they could have been together. He should have gotten on his knees the first night they’d met and begged to be allowed into her bed.

He shoved his slacks and boxers down, freeing his unruly dick. After fishing out a condom and rolling it over his cock, he eased her legs apart. He rubbed himself against her pussy before gently starting to press in.

Her arms reached up, closing around his waist. “Be close to me. I won’t break, Brody. I want you on top of me. I want to feel warm and surrounded by you.”

He didn’t want to hurt her. He was big and she seemed petite and delicate next to him, but she’d had their baby and done it all without any help. She wasn’t a delicate flower that would wilt at the slightest provocation. She could handle him.

He lowered himself down, letting his chest find hers. He was taller, but with a little maneuvering, he managed to plant his mouth on hers as he held his cock deep inside her. He forced his hips to be still when every instinct inside of him screamed to move, to thrust, to fuck her hard. Instead, he kissed her, giving her time to adjust to his size, the feel of his weight on top of her. Her arms wrapped around his chest and her legs around his waist. He was the one who was surrounded. He was lost in her silky skin and the heat of her body, the sweet smell of her flesh and their sex mixing to make a heady perfume.

“You feel so good,” she whispered. “Please, Brody. I can’t believe it, but I’m close again.”

It was a good thing because he knew he wouldn’t last long. She felt too right around him, too tight and perfect. His cock was already pulsing, moving toward the inevitable. He kissed her one last time and then moved, dragging his dick out even as the small, strong muscles of her pussy worked hard to keep him in.

He felt the hard drag of her nails in his back, but it did nothing but enhance the feeling of being inside her. This was what he wanted. He wanted her fierce and fighting for her pleasure. He wanted her to know that he could handle everything she had to give him.

She tightened around him. He gave over and lost his careful rhythm. He fucked her hard, loving how she held on to him, riding out the storm.

He gritted his teeth as the orgasm poured through him. Pure pleasure like nothing he’d ever felt before made his whole body stiffen and then relax.

He felt boneless as he let her take his weight. He knew she wanted it, could handle it.

She was his woman.

After a long moment he moved to the side. She turned toward him, cuddling close to his body.

“I don’t think you should sleep on the couch,” she murmured even as her eyes were closing.

He kissed her and then eased off the bed. She was asleep and it looked like no bad dreams were taking over. He’d tired her out. She looked like a sleeping, satisfied kitten. He dragged the blanket up and over her and then went to the bathroom to clean up.

How had he walked away from her? He’d thought he couldn’t handle her. Yes, it had been there that she deserved more, but now he could also see that he’d been a fucking coward. He didn’t want to love her because she was so reckless. He didn’t want to love her because if he ever lost her, he would be devastated.

But wasn’t that what life was about? Loss only hurt if you loved the thing you lost. He looked at himself in the mirror and for the first time in forever didn’t see only scars and regret.

Somehow when he looked in the mirror this time, he saw the Brody he’d been. The kid who’d tried and failed and got up and tried again.

The one who’d loved his brother and lost him to a war.

The one who could be brave enough to love his wife and son even though there would be no promise that he could keep them.

He took a deep breath. His path was set. There was nothing to do now except crawl back into bed and enjoy these hours before she woke and fought him again.

Because there was no doubt in his mind that she would do that.

A cry that rattled the walls made him rush back out to the bedroom. Nate was red in the face and he’d kicked off his blanket. And damn but the boy smelled to high heaven.

He’d never changed a nappy. He reached for his shorts, pulling them on.

Steph rolled over, her eyes tired. “I’ll get him.”

He lifted his son up, trying hard not to breathe. He knew where all the stuff was. “No, luv. Sleep. We’ll be right back.”

He grabbed the nappy bag and was rewarded with a sweet sigh as she turned back over.

He turned off the light and closed the door behind him.

“Everything all right?” Shane was standing at the end of the hall.

His son had what might be the world’s worst-smelling bottom and he had no idea how to change a nappy. Someone wanted to kill the woman he loved and they might have to go on the run with an infant. He was beyond tired, and in the morning he would likely go back to war with his soon-to-be bride. Mostly because she wasn’t going to want to be his bride.

“Everything’s perfect.”

Life was pretty damn good. Now he just had to figure out the nappy thing…