Sang

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There were voices floating from the living room. I was pretty sure my name was spoken a few times.

I was afraid to move. Nathan had said to stay, and I trusted him, but I was afraid of what was being said.

Shame filled my senses, not just for Jessica catching us and not knowing the truth, but for leaving Nathan to confront it and not being out there for him.

They shouldn’t have to do this alone.

I wasn’t sure how Kota would react, or Erica or Jessica... They had been very nice to let me stay with them this whole week and support me. I felt like somehow this whole mess was a betrayal to them. Even if they didn’t really understand it.

Even Kota knew about the relationship between myself and the rest of the guys, but he struggled. I knew he did. And now he was forced to face it. Forced to deal with the aftermath with his mother and sister.

After several long minutes, I heard Kota’s voice again. His voice was stronger, more upset.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he said.

Not good.

A moment later, there were footsteps in the hallway and my heart nearly exploded, anxious. Luckily, it was Kota that appeared in the doorway.

Him being with me when being confronted by Jessica and Erica, that made it better. Kota understood it probably wasn’t what Jessica thought it was.

He took one look at me and with his back to Jessica and Erica, he flicked a finger to his lips, indicating to me not to say much.

I would’ve been happy to not say anything if I could help it. If he had a plan, I was willing to follow it.

Erica nudged Kota a little so she could stand beside her son. Her face was kind, but it still made me feel bad for what she may have heard. “Sang, it’s okay. Don’t be afraid.”

Just the delicate way that she was talking made me realize that whatever had been said, they were upset with Nathan, and not me.

That just made me feel so much worse about what was going on. I pressed my lips together, blushing and unsure what to say. So I stuck with what Kota said, saying nothing.

Erica went on, “Jessica said Nathan tried to kiss you...”

Kota spoke quickly, cutting off Erica and stepping toward me, hands up to offer to collect mine. “I don’t blame you. I don’t. He told me that he did try to kiss you. You had told him no. You don’t have to prove yourself. I believe him and I trust you.”

I wanted to groaned, but I couldn’t. I was afraid to say anything in the next few minutes, because I was pretty sure I wanted to clear up the entire situation. I wanted to help Nathan in any way I could. The only thing I could say was that he didn’t do it against my will, which just seemed to make things so much worse.

“I...” I started to say then just stopped. I thought maybe that was better. Stutter a little, look like I was making an effort. I focused on Kota’s outstretched hands. I put mine in his, hoping this was the right thing to do if Kota was urging me silently to do it.

Kota nodded and pulled me into him, getting me into a hug.

I lean into it and hid my face in his chest. I felt bad enough to not want to look at the others. I don’t know how he knew what I needed right then, but he did.

I felt a third hand on me, near my head, and I thought it was Erica.

“You’ll be okay,” Erica said. “Kota, I know you trust them. But she is a pretty girl. And if you ask me, she is the only girl that they have spent any time with of the last several months. I didn’t want to say it, but it was just a matter of time.”

“We shouldn’t talk about this now,” Kota muttered.

Erica released her hand from me and then said, “What he did was wrong. I don’t want to diminish it. However, I am willing to accept that he is young, and probably a little confused. You let him know it wasn’t okay. I don’t want him to think he can get away with kissing someone if they didn’t want him to.”

At this, I had to say something. I turned myself away from Kota a little bit to face Erica but kept my cheek pressed against his chest. “He wasn’t being that pushy.” I wasn’t sure how else to say it, but I really didn’t want to give them the wrong impression about him like that. “I’m not sure what was heard, but he wasn’t trying to force me, he was just...saying he wanted to. He wasn’t going to force me.”

Kota quickly pushed his palm against my cheek, partially covering my mouth. “That’s enough for now.” He sighed. “We should talk, but let’s give it some time. Let’s eat breakfast, give ourselves a chance to calm down. We’ll talk about it then.”

He didn’t want me to say anything else. Maybe I was adding to lies. It was hard enough to lie to her now, but I didn’t want Nathan to be blamed for something far worse than just trying to kiss his best friend’s girlfriend.

Kota waved his family members away. They backed out into the hallway and retreated. Kota stayed with me, hugging me for a minute after they were out of sight.

It gave me a moment to breathe. We couldn’t stay long, but it helped. I want to ask him what happened just now with Nathan, but when I pulled back a bit, I caught sight of his knuckles, one edge split and bleeding, the rest very red.

Instinct had me reaching to touch the red knuckles. When I did, he pulled back, hiding his hand behind his back.

He looked at me, shaking his head slowly and putting a finger to his lips.

Don’t talk about it.

If that was the case, then it had to be something to do with Nathan. He probably couldn’t say much with Erica and Jessica near.

What were we going to do now?