The Firefly Bed and Breakfast, formerly the Bell family mansion, stood in all its southern splendor on the corner of First and Confederate Streets, taking nearly an entire city block for its house, stables and grounds. It had hosted the Daughters of the New South Winter Cotillion for over forty years. Nearly every woman in Lambency had descended the Firefly’s grand staircase on her daddy’s arm, determined to float with the grace and beauty only a true southern lady could possess or in the very least not tumble down like a sack of rotten potatoes.

“How do we get stuck doing this every year?” Fitz asked, tugged at the collar of his dress shirt and setting his bow tie askew.

“No idea,” Alex muttered, his eyes scanning the room dully, worrying the cufflink at his left wrist, the silver eagle, globe and anchor of the USMC logo winking in the candle light.

“Aw I think it’s fun,” Hilary said, smiling widely as an elderly lady approached their table, handing her a glass of punch and as she turned away, Hilary was already filling another, setting it in the now empty space in the row.

“Why do we always get put on punch bowl duty?” Fitz asked looking longingly towards the bar where several younger women and men were gathered enjoying cocktails before the evening festivities began.

“Because Hilary is the only person who has ever prevented the punch from being spiked,” Alex replied, failing to notice that Hilary and Fitz had looked at him with interest.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hilary asked and Alex gritted his teeth as Fitz clapped his hands and grunted as he pumped his fist in triumph.

“Told you she couldn’t get through an evening without asking you if you were okay.”

Alex sighed heavily, reaching into the breast pocket of his tuxedo jacket and pulled out his wallet, grabbing a ten dollar bill and reached past Hilary to hand it to Fitz. Hilary’s forehead creased as she watched the exchange and turned her back on Fitz to speak softly to Alex.

“Look I get that you’re not that kumbaya, talk about your feelings type, but you just seem like you’re having a really hard time,” she said softly and Alex didn’t look at her, just scowled out at the sea of people milling around the dance floor.

“End of the semester is always hard, Hilary,” he said flatly not looking at her.

“I know,” she said with a sigh and then touched his arm making him jump, “Hey how did Kelsey Charming do on her final?”

Alex snatched his arm away from her as if her touch had burned him, bristling hard and refusing to look at her. “Fine,” he said with finality and then he blinked, glancing at her. “Why? Did she say something?”

“Just the same. That she did fine,” Hilary said, her brows creasing. “I’m a little worried about her.”

Alex pressed his lips together shifting from foot to foot. He waited for her to go on and when she didn’t he sighed. “Why?” He asked unable to stop himself.

“She seems down,” Hilary said, reaching for the punch ladle and stirring idly. “It’s going to be her first Christmas without Eleanor. Elliot Braum assured me that they were all on-” Hilary snorted as she laughed and made air quotes. “‘Kelsey Duty’ for the entirety of Christmas break. He’s been glued to her since she got hurt.”

“She started letting him carrying her books for her,” Fitz added, tugging at his collar again and Hilary’s head whipped to him.

“No,” she said as if scandalized. “Really?” Fitz nodded and Hilary let out a high-pitched giggle that made Alex wince. “Well, we might just see the Braum-Charming love story unfold after all.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Alex snorted and Hilary looked at him confused. He cut his eyes at her and shifted on his feet. “So he’s carrying her books so what? You said she was…” Alex grit his teeth. “I’m just saying he could just be being nice.”

“Yeah, but she took him up on it,” Fitz said giving him a knowing look and Hilary nodded.

“He always offered. She never let him.”

“And now she’s letting him,” Fitz said with a nod.

Alex’s face screwed up in annoyance. “You two are fucking insane you know that? Why do you even-“ he cut himself off with a soft growl at shook his head. “Never mind. Just… sorry… “

“Alex,” Hilary said softly, leaning in to him and he had to fight the urge to rip his arm away as she touched it. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Alex hummed, a disgruntled sound and summoned all his patience. “Yes, Hilary thank you for your concern,” he said looking at her and holding her gaze, watching her eyes go a little glassy and he knew this wasn’t exactly fair but he couldn’t handle her fussing at him all evening. “I’m perfectly fine.”

She blinked. “You just seem…” She trailed and he sighed, raising his eyebrows at her in anticipation of her explanation. “Sad.”

Alex snorted, shaking his head as he looked back at out into the room, catching sight of Miss Gwaultney as she seemed to glide up to the podium.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of the Daughters of the New South I would like to welcome you to the 192nd Lambency Winter Cotillion. Oh this brings back so many memories…”

Fitz leaned towards Hilary and Alex, “Is it just me or does she give the same speech every year?” He muttered out the side of his mouth. Hilary hit him with the back of her hand.

As Miss Gwualtney went on in her introduction and Hilary and Fitz argued over the content of the speech Alex noticed a small figure hurrying along the edge of the room. Mrs. Stimetz spotted them and made a beeline for their table, adjusting her headset so that her mouth piece was under her chin.

“Oh my God it’s a zoo up there,” she muttered, grabbing a glass of punch and throwing it back. She grimaced. “Ugh has no one spiked this yet?”

Fitz let out a bark of a laugh, startling those nearest them and nearly sent the first girl that was descending the stairs tumbling down them in surprise but her father held on tight as if fully prepared for this exact thing to happen and she remained upright, a fluffy white cotton ball floating down the stairs. Alex swallowed, wondering how many more would have to descend before he saw Kelsey. A feeling of anticipation mixed with dread rolled around in his stomach. He refused to admit that he missed her, simply attributed his moodiness and short temper to the fact that they were no longer spending time together. Semantics. He reached up to rub the back of his neck.

“You would not believe some of these girls,” Mrs. Stimetz said grabbing a few more cups of punch. “Ashley Immins is about to hyperventilate because one of her gloves is half a centimeter shorter than the other, Brittany Evans dress ripped when she bent over so her mother is back there literally sewing the ass of it back together and Kelsey Charming’s dad is MIA.”

Alex nearly gave himself a crick in his neck as he turned to look at her. “What?”

“Yeah, Dad of the year that Sully Charming,” Mrs. Stiemetz replied rolling her eyes. “I better get back up there, ugh.”

Alex watched her scurry away and he could feel the anger pulsing in his temples as he remembered the way Kelsey had danced around his condo over helping Sully pick out a tux, finally letting herself believe that her father was going to pull through for her. He felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, imagining her upstairs, by herself. He could picture her perfectly in her white dress, her long dark hair pulled back in a ballerina bun with her arms crossed demurely in front of her and her chin jutted out defiantly.

“I gotta-”

“Yeah yeah,” Hilary said, grinning at him and he stopped to frown at her. “Your project student needs saving. Mr. Danvers to the rescue.” She snorted as she giggled. “I’m super impressed, Alex, seriously. You totally stepped up to the plate with her. She told me she passed your class with a B no less.” Hilary was practically beaming as she touched his arm and lifted herself onto tip toes. His eyebrows raised as she pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Great job.”

He gave her a dubious look, reaching to rub at his cheek as he stepped around her to follow the path that Mrs. Stiemetz had traveled towards the back hall. He wondered how proud Hilary would have been if she’d known the truth about he and Kelsey. Just as it had done for the past week, their time together passed through his mind in flashes of skin and sex and her smile, the one that lit up her entire face, the one that seemed to be reserved only for him.

He shook his head, his focus turning to the task at hand. He could hear the chatter of fifty or so teenage girls as he climbed the back stair case. It was a sea of white silk and chiffon puffed up with enough organza and crinoline that each girl was standing side by side even when they weren’t that close to each other. Alex craned his neck and somehow found her instantly, the last of five or so girls who were queued to begin their descent down the grand stair case, each with their arm looped through what could have been identical men in tuxedos with salt and pepper hair. All except Kelsey.

Alex managed to wade through the sea of fabric and bodies until he was behind her, seeing the tense line of her shoulders, her neck impossibly long half hidden by a low chignon of curls instead of his imagined bun. He wanted to press his lips to the nape of her neck as he’d done so many times before. How he had taken it for granted, the little stolen intimacies between them. He shook his head, reaching for her arm.

Kelsey whirled around, her heart hammering in her chest and she was half expecting to see Sully, disheveled and drunk, his tux ruined but here none the less. A strange twinge of disappointment and surprise swirled in her chest when her eyes crashed into Alex’s stormy blue gaze. She immediately dropped her eyes, crushing one hand in the other in front of her. She’d managed to avoid looking at him for the most part over the last week, letting Reva do all the talking in class and letting Elliot have her full attention whenever they were between classes. She could always count on Elliot to stay engaged in whatever they were talking about so she didn’t let her mind or eyes wander. But Elliot was downstairs waiting for her to be presented to him so he couldn’t save her from this.

“Wh-what are you doing here,” Kelsey grumbled, her voice low as she turned to face the front again. Only four girls ahead of her now. Sully had maybe three minutes before she had to go this alone.

“I heard Sully didn’t show,” Alex said, shuffling forward along with Kelsey and she gritted her teeth, her chin jutting forward.

“Yeah… well…” She paused, swallowing hard and he knew she was rallying her voice. “It’s not the first time.” She scoffed and then wiggled her shoulders as if trying to shake it off before she gritted her teeth and stomped her foot lightly. “I should have known…” She growled, reaching a hand up to press her fingers to her forehead.

“It’s okay I’ll do it,” Alex said as they shuffled forward again, only three girls in front of them now.

“What?” Kelsey asked, looking at him bewildered and when he offered his arm she looked down at it dumbly. “No… no…” She shook her head, her curls bouncing.

“Look this is all my fault please let me do this,” he said and she looked at him then, her eyes narrowing and he swallowed, remembering that he hadn’t told her about the deal he’d made with Sully.

“How is this your-?”

“Kelsey where’s your dad?”

A short sophomore with a headset over his pageboy haircut and a self-important clipboard strode up as another girl and her father started down the stairs, only two before them now. Kelsey looked around helplessly, trying to see over the heads of the other girls. She caught Reva’s eye and she gave her a concerned look. Kelsey merely smiled trying to ignore the way Ezio was fussing at her about her sari. Sully hadn’t even seen her dress.

“I’ll be escorting Miss Charming,” Alex said before she could react and the sophomore raised his eyebrows.

“Al-Mr. Danvers no,” Kelsey said lowly as the next father daughter pair stepped out into the spotlight at the top of the stairs and began their way down.

“Tell Miss Gwaultney now,” Alex said and Kelsey scoffed as the poor kid just nodded at him dully.

“What’s your middle name?” he inquired and Alex merely blinked at him.

“No middle names. ‘Kelsey Charming escorted by Alex Danvers.’ That’s it.”

“O-okay,” he said, turning away looking dazed as he spoke quietly into his head piece.

The pair in front of them stepped into the light and they shuffled their way to the edge of the shadow, Kelsey’s heart hammering hard against her chest as Alex guided her arm through his. She could smell the light clean scent of him, something that used to intoxicate her but now made her feel impossibly hollow and that familiar ache found its way into her chest.

“You don’t have to do this,” Kelsey muttered out of the side of her mouth as the pair before them reached the corner landing. It was nearly time.

“I know.” She looked at his profile, the perfect line of his jaw, his long lashes standing starkly in silhouette. She looked down at her arm through his, seeing the small silver marine emblems on his cufflinks. She touched them lightly and he looked down at her.

“I lost my regular ones,” he muttered. She felt a smile tug at her lips and she had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep it at bay. When she peeked up at him she could see he was fighting a smile as well. Why did that hurt her so badly?

The sophomore motioned for them to go and Alex led them out into the light, standing tall and straight, his head only slightly inclined towards Kelsey to keep her steady. She had begun to tremble and he could feel the anxiety radiating off of her as they took the first few steps down. He covered her hand that rested at the crook of his elbow with his own and he felt her gasp more than heard it. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments and it was as if they were floating, just the two of them, suspended in a dream where nothing could hurt them, not even each other. It was only a split second, their eyes tearing away from each other to concentrate on the steps in front of them as Miss Gwaultney’s voice came back full force.

“…sey Charming, granddaughter of Eleanor Charming, daughter of Sullivan Charming, escorted by Alex Danvers.”

Kelsey gritted her teeth and she heard Alex snort lightly. “Nice of you to give him some credit.”

Kelsey fought a smile. “I was afraid he’d cause a scene right about here,” she said through a beaming smile as the cameras flashed at them, professional and amateur alike as they paused at the landing. “If I hadn’t acknowledged his donation of DNA.”

Alex laughed then, something that caught both of them off guard so that they both looked at each other and neither could contain their grins. A series of flashes startled them out of their moment and each looked down, watching their feet as they descended the last set of stairs and were finally on solid ground.

Alex didn’t let go of her arm as they followed the line of teen girls and their fathers across the marbled floor. It wasn’t until the girl in front of her turned to her father and he pulled her into his arms, joining their hands to spin into a waltz that Kelsey remembered the First Dance was reserved for fathers and daughters.

“Oh, Alex we don’t have to-” She stuttered but it was already too late. He’d managed to uncoil his arm from hers in a graceful motion that only required the slightest tug for her to be against him, his hand settling at her lower back as his other found hers, holding it at the perfect height, his chest open to her and his shoulders strong.

Alex fought the urge to pull her closer, actually maneuvered his hand on her back up a little higher when he’d heard the murmurings around them. His face remained blank as he looked down into Kelsey’s and she took a deep breath, her eyes troubled as she let him spin her into the group of dancers on the floor. Alex was a very good at the waltz, Kelsey decided almost immediately. She and Elliot always had a momentary battle of wills over who was to lead and it took them several full rotations before they managed to slip into the graceful cadence she and Alex had fallen immediately into.

“Where’d you learn to waltz?” She asked and he felt her slip just a little closer, his arm circling her a little more fully.

“The Corp,” Alex replied, looking down at her from under his lashes while still keeping his shoulders back and his neck long. “You dance well.”

“It’s important to have a good lead,” she replied and she could see a smile tugging at the corner of his lips but he didn’t give in to it. “Alex, I-”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he interrupted even though he knew that’s not what she was going to say. He caught her wounded expression before she could turn her face away and it lacerated him.

“You’ve… you’ve been through this before?” She asked, after a moment, her voice low and uneven. When he didn’t respond she looked up at him and he could see her trying to keep her eyes from going misty.

“It’ll get easier,” he said softly and she looked up at him skeptically causing a smile to tug at his lips.

“When?” She asked and he sucked in a breath at the pain evident on her face despite the soft huff of a laugh she emitted before looking away. He tugged her minutely closer.

“When you find someone else,” he said softly, his eyes catching on something across the room and she looked over her shoulder to see Elliot and the other boys making their way across the dance floor in neat lines, finding their dates with slow ease.

“Hey,” Elliot said breathlessly, his eyes studying Kelsey’s face before giving her a quick once over. “You look… you look… beautiful.”

Alex watched Kelsey give Elliot a smile that looked more to Alex like a grimace. Elliot’s eyes met his and there was no puzzlement there, just a sad understanding. Elliot gave him a solemn nod and Alex returned it. Kelsey looked up at Alex as he began to pull back from her, her hand squeezing at his as if on instinct and he squeezed back ever so slightly, giving her his tight lipped smile as he placed her hand in Elliot’s.

“Take good care of her, Mr. Braum,” Alex said, trying to inject some humor into his voice but he couldn’t seem to get any kind of inflection past the sudden lump in his throat. Kelsey’s brow creased looking at him, her eyes staying on him even as Elliot maneuvered them away.

“Will do, Mr. Danvers. Thanks!”

Kelsey opened her mouth to say something but Alex merely tipped his chin up, blinking slowly at her and the concern was replaced by hurt which was when she finally looked at Elliot, giving him a small smile. Alex gritted his teeth as he watched Elliot pull her close. Kelsey leaned back at the waist just enough to keep her chest from touching his. Their first course was awkward and stilted, Kelsey taking the lead when Elliot didn’t and then Elliot attempting to take the lead back from her. Alex winced, watching until the finally fell into a smooth waltz before he tore his eyes away and stepped back over to the punch bowl.

“That was really sweet of you, man,” Fitz said as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a flask.

He offered it to Alex more as a courtesy and was surprised when his friend grabbed it from him and took a deep gulp. Fitz opened his mouth to warn him that it was whiskey in there but Alex didn’t even flinch, just swallowed and handed the flask back to Fitz. Fitz shook his head slowly, tipping his head back for a drink and wondering if his best friend was ever going to stop surprising him.

“Hey do you see Hilary anywhere?” Fitz asked, glancing around the ballroom and Alex shook his head, his eyes still trained pensively on the dance floor. “Good.”

Alex caught movement out of the corner of his eye and did a double take as Fitz poured nearly the entire flask into the punch bowl. Alex gawked at him as he took the ladle and mixed the punch thoroughly before grinning and dipping up a glass for a girl and her date. Alex had half a mind to warn them but his attention was once more drawn to Kelsey, still in Elliot’s arms but speaking with Reva who was being spun in quick circles by Logan. Elliot began spinning Kelsey in the opposite direction so their conversation was cut into what looked like a few small phrases. Before long they were giggling madly, each hanging on to her partner to keep from tripping. Alex felt something sharp settle in his chest.

“There, maybe next year we can get bar duty,” Fitz muttered to him and Alex felt his friend’s elbow jab at his bicep. “How’s Charming? She upset her dad blew her off?”

Alex blinked, tearing his eyes away from her to look at Fitz. “Ah… she was disappointed,” Alex said and Fitz nodded.

“Figured you might be a little disappointed too seeing as you’re out $300,” Fitz said and Alex looked at him open mouthed as his friend took a drink from the flask, a sly grin pulling at his lips. “Heard it from Lucy, one of Sully’s girls.”

“What are you doing hanging around with Sully’s girls?” Alex asked and Fitz shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

“Where else am I supposed to get weed?” Fitz asked offering the flask to Alex who took it, eyeing Fitz over the lip before taking a shot. “I know Hilary is all touchy-feely about the project student thing, but I gotta admit man you’ve been a lot more… I dunno,” Fitz said, replacing the flask in his breast pocket, “I don’t wanna say happy but… yeah… kinda happy since you started helping her.”

“Oh come on,” Alex said rolling his eyes but he felt his stomach pull tight, a nervous flash rushing over his skin.

“Nah, I mean I’m not trying to go all Doctor Phil on you here but something about that girl got that stick outta your ass that I’ve been trying to remove for years. She was good for you.”

“Jesus, Fitz,” Alex muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose against the burn at the back of his throat, feeling suddenly unable to breathe. She’s good for you.

“What! I’m not saying it’s anything weird,” Fitz replied, hitting Alex’s arm with the back of his hand. “I’m just saying that, she seemed to come out of her shell a little - I mean, look at her and Braum,” Fitz gestured and Alex reluctantly followed the movement.

Kelsey was flush against Elliot now, his face mere centimeters from hers and she looked uncomfortable, whatever he was saying to her making her uneasy. Her eyes flicked across the room to Alex, pleading with him help and Alex’s feet itched to go to her. He merely looked down at his shoes, picking up his feet and putting them down. She wasn’t his to rescue. Fitz hit him on the arm harder than ever.

“Oh… oh oh! He’s making his move! He’s doing it! LookLookLook!”

Alex looked up just in time to see Elliot close the gap between his lips and Kelsey’s and even with her face half obscured by Elliot’s she looked utterly surprised. It didn’t last more than half a second but to Alex it had been long enough to suck all the air from his lungs and send a hot flash of anger and adrenalin over his skin. He waited for her eyes to find his again but they didn’t, instead stayed focused on Elliot and whatever he was saying to her so earnestly.

Soon they were lost in the crowd of parents and students all crowding the dance floor, the formal waltz devolving into a gentle swaying in each other’s arms. Alex felt hollow and rung out, a deep melancholy seeming to settle into his bones. This was exactly what he’d wanted, he tried to convince himself. It was just happening faster than he anticipated. He’d been sure that Kelsey would spurn Elliot’s advances a little while longer. He felt the weight of all of it then, as suddenly as if he hadn’t been wrangling with it for the past week.

She was gone. He’d pushed her away, just like he always did, though this wasn’t anything like he’d ever experienced. He had of course done the right thing. His moral compass seemed to be pointing due north once again but there was no satisfaction in it. In fact he resented it, a low burning anger fanned by… what? Hurt, his mind answered and he almost laughed aloud. He was hurt? After everything he’d put her through he somehow had the audacity to be hurt by letting her go?

He was being ridiculous. Within a couple of weeks he would be back to normal, maybe still missing her some but not like he was right then with every fiber in his body trying to stretch out to her, to take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry, that he didn’t really want this. Eventually his mind would be his own again until then he would have to manage with that soft refrain repeating over and over in his subconscious.

Come back, Kelsey. Come back.