“Wow, you look like shit.”

Kelsey gave Reva a mordant look as her friend studied her face, pulling the door closed behind her as she stepped out onto the landing.

“You know, you’re the one that’s always telling me I need to do better stuff to my face,” Kelsey said, gesturing to her appearance which she had worked meticulously to conceal, power, highlight, contour and bronze before leaving the house.

“I know,” Reva said, swiveling her head around in a way that reminded Kelsey of a curious owl. “I can’t believe you listened to me. Turn your head,” she said while forcibly grabbing Kelsey’s chin, and Kelsey let her maneuver it this way and that. Reva pursed her lips. “Not bad.”

“Then why did you say I looked like shit?” Kelsey asked defensively as she started down the landing toward the stairs.

“You look tired under all that pretty,” Reva said, gesturing at her face. “You crash at your own place last night?”

“Where else would I have crashed?” Kelsey retorted shortly and Reva stopped at the top of the stairs looking at her with suspicious eyes. Kelsey glanced back at her over her shoulder and then rolled her eyes. “Yes, I crashed at my own place, Reva, come on.”

They trudged down the stairs, Kelsey wincing the entire way down, and Reva was still looking at her with curiosity as they began their decent down the complex boardwalk to Lumen Beach.

“You okay?” Reva asked and Kelsey nodded.

“Hey, how was your date?” Kelsey asked brightly and Reva sighed.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” she groaned and Kelsey looked alarmed.

“You don’t?” Kelsey asked, trying to mask the panicked edge in her voice.

“You know, we don’t have to talk about boys all the time, Kelsey!” Reva said, her outburst making Kelsey jump, and blink at her friend in astonishment. “We are perfectly capable young women. With our own lives and our own dreams. And we don’t need to chase around some stupid guy who doesn’t even know what he wants anyway.”

“Right,” Kelsey said, latching on to this like a lifeline. “We are… the world.” Reva stopped and looked at her as if she’d grown another head. “I need caffeine.”

Reva laughed, “Uh yeah, when you start quoting Michael Jackson I’d say it’s time to insert the IV.”

Kelsey snorted, stepping down onto the sand and they were silent for a moment, enjoying the early morning sunshine as the sea breeze bit at their faces. Kelsey kept her eyes on the ocean, watching the dull gray water lap at the shoreline and tried not to think about Alex - Mr. Danvers. Surely, he was awake by now. What had he thought when he found her gone? Relief most likely.

“Okay, why are you walking like that?” Reva asked with a laugh and Kelsey looked down at herself.

“Like what?” she asked, feeling her heartbeat pick up.

“Like you were sodomized with a baseball bat,” Reva snorted and Kelsey made a face.

“My hips hurt,” she grumbled and Reva blinked at her. “The chairs at the library need to be reupholstered.”

“Uh huh,” Reva replied, still eyeing her with suspicion before turning her gaze to Building One as they began to pass. “Hey how are things going with the tutoring? Have you given him your v-card yet?”

Kelsey sputtered, looking at her alarmed and Reva raised her eyebrows as her friend paled beneath her bronzer. “I…why would you even say that Reva!?”

“Because when you make that face like your head is gonna explode it’s really, really funny,” Reva replied, grinning obnoxiously at her and Kelsey gave her a rough shove that made Reva laugh.

They bickered the rest of the way to the coffee shop and Kelsey felt some of the heaviness begin to lift. She couldn’t tell Reva what happened, but having Reva around was comfort enough. She opened the door to Perkatory and immediately felt like a cartoon that just got flattened by a piano when she saw Alex standing at the counter talking with Jake as his order was being made.

“You know what, I don’t want any coffee,” Kelsey said, turning abruptly and ran smack in to Reva who didn’t let her pass.

“Whoa whoa whoa, I thought you said you needed caffeine?”

“I changed my mind,” Kelsey said trying to dodge around her but Reva stood her ground.

“Well okay but I’m still getting some,” Reva said slowly as if Kelsey were dimwitted.

“I’ll wait outside,” Kelsey mumbled and Reva looked past her, her eyes lighting up.

“Hey Mr. Danvers,” she said and Kelsey closed her eyes against the rush of adrenalin that burned through her veins.

She turned slowly, finding Alex standing there with a to-go cup in his hand. He blinked at them, his deep blue eyes emphasized by the sea blue button down he was wearing underneath his coat. Kelsey could feel herself beginning to blush, wondering if he was wearing the khakis he wore yesterday. She looked at the ground, scuffing the toe of her sneaker against the floor.

Alex felt momentarily as if he’d been punched in the gut. He’d woken up this morning to an empty bed, no note and a sinking suspicion that in the cold light of morning Kelsey was having some regrets. He laid in bed watching the room begin to lighten, not even bothering to get up for his morning workout. He felt strange, unsettled which he supposed he shoulder have expected but it wasn’t because he’d slept with a student. It was because she just left without a goodbye or anything. When did she leave? Why did she leave? And now with her standing right in front of him, refusing to look at him he had no doubt that she felt nothing but regret about what happened last night. He was for a moment overwhelmed by how much that.

He cleared his throat and shook his head. “Miss Sarno,” he said nodding his head at Reva before his eyes slid to Kelsey again who was still staring at the floor. “Miss Charming,” he said softly, wishing that she would look up at him but she merely addressed a quiet “hello” to her shoes. “I’ll be seeing you after class today?” He ventured and this time her head snapped up, looking at him wide eyed.

Surely, he wasn’t still considering tutoring her? His eyes were searching hers and she felt as if she were being x-rayed, something that he did often and had always made her feel uneasy. But now, it felt almost intrusive, like he was picking through the wreckage, refusing to leave well enough alone.

Kelsey felt herself fumble for words. “Uh… I mean…” she stuttered Alex still holding her gaze and she told herself she was being ridiculous when she felt they were begging her. She couldn’t do this. “I have to… I have a meeting with Mr. Papert after school today.”

“Oh…” Alex said watching her drop her gaze again and he pressed his lips together, squinting in displeasure. “Maybe tomorrow then.

“Yeah maybe,” Kelsey said, “Uh I’m gonna go order.”

She made a point to take a wide step around him and rushed to the counter, Alex craning his neck over his shoulder to watch her go. When he turned back, Reva was looking at him with her head tilted to the side in thought. He gave her a reticent smile before moving to go out the door.

“See you in class, Mr. Danvers,” she said as he pushed open the door and he looked back, his eyes meeting Kelsey’s as she turned around with her coffee. He ripped his gaze away to give Reva a small smile and a brief nod before stepping out the door.

Kelsey felt gutted, her heart thundering in her chest, her knees shaking. She didn’t understand why that had hurt so much. The tenderness in his eyes, the questions behind them, she couldn’t stand it. She needed to stay away from him, to cut it off before it began to grow inside her and his eventual leaving would hurt even worse, though she couldn’t possibly imagine how.

“Well, that was awkward,” Reva said walking up to Kelsey. She frowned at the look of complete misery on her face. “Hey are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kelsey said, plastering a smile on her face that made Reva’s frown deepen even more.

“Okay you need to come clean with me right now. What is going on?” Reva said sternly and in that moment she looked and sounded just like Lavali, something that would horrify Reva if Kelsey said it.

“Nothing is going on,” Kelsey insisted, looking away as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, attempting to cross her arms over her chest which only caused her to spill some of her coffee. “Ugh dammit,” she groaned, wiping at the side of her jacket.

“Bullshit, Kelsey,” Reva said putting her hands on her hips. “Is it something with Danvers?”

“What is your obsession with him Reva? He’s just a stupid teacher.” Reva’s eyes widened at the venom in her voice. Kelsey pressed a hand to her forehead, her mind racing. “Okay, you wanna know what the deal is?”

“Yes,” Reva said slowly, peering suspiciously at Kelsey. Kelsey gritted her teeth.

“Do you remember the other day when we were texting?” Reva blinked at her. Kelsey rolled her eyes. “About Al- Mr. Danvers?”

A slow smile pulled over Reva’s face. “About him bending you over his desk in his classroom?”

“Yeah,” she said and then cleared her throat. “Well… I was texting with him at the same time,” Kelsey said and Reva raised an eyebrow. “A question about the Hamlet paper I was writing and I was trying to copy/paste this website and-”

“NO!” Reva said her eyes going so wide Kelsey feared they would fall out of her head, which was the exact reaction she was going for. “You sent that to him?” Reva asked in a heated whisper.

“Yes,” Kelsey said, letting her head fall back dramatically. “And now shit is all weird.”

Reva looked vaguely horrified for a moment before her face smoothed and she went into crisis management mode. “You know what? Just tell him you were sexting a guy and got your windows mixed up.” She shrugged. “Honest mistake. Won’t happen again.” She mimed wiping her hands as if that were the end of that.

“I’m supposed to tell him I was se…” Kelsey glanced around and lowered her voice. “Sexting a guy?”

“Yeah,” Reva said with a shrug, stepping past her and up to the counter. Kelsey followed, confused.

“Who am I supposed to say it was?” Kelsey asked and Reva looked at her as if she were insane.

“Do you really think he’s going to ask?” Reva replied with a laugh and Kelsey bit her lip. “Thanks Jake,” Reva said as he handed her a to-go cup. “Look, if you need a little more background to really sell the lie, just say it was Elliot.”

Kelsey made a face. “Why would I be sexting Elliot?”

Reva gave her a bored look, wondering how her best friend could be so utterly blind. “I have no idea, Kelsey. No idea.”

* * *

A hard ball of anxiety had been lodged in Kelsey’s chest all day, exacerbated by a series of calamities that had her wondering if the universe was punishing her. She’d spent fifteen minutes arguing with Duncan Hersch in physics about a trick question and she’d looked like an idiot. She’d spilled soup all over herself at lunch and she was relatively sure that she broke at least one of Elliot’s toes in Etiquette trying to learn the Charleston.

“I’m really sorry,” she told him again as they made their way down the hall, following Logan and Reva through the crowd of students.

“It’s really fine,” he said with a smile though he was limping. “You okay? You seem pretty distracted.”

“Everything is fine,” she replied automatically pulling her sweater tighter around her chest, still self-conscious about the tomato soup carnage all down her front.

“Okay…” Elliot conceded though not convincingly.

Kelsey could feel her heart beating hard in her chest, the rhythm thudding in her ears and drowning out the sounds of the hallway as they inched closer to English class. Alex’s class. A full 88 minutes of listening to his voice, watching him pace in front of her. Logan was already disappearing through the doorway and Reva was about to follow. Kelsey felt a surge of panic.

“You know what, I’m gonna stop off at the ladies.” Reva turned to give her a quizzical look.

“The bell’s gonna ring in like two seconds. Have Danvers write you a pass,” she said, but Kelsey was already moving away from them, back towards the other end of the hall.

“I’ll just be a minute,” she hollered over the calamity of the hallway and Reva looked at Elliot who shrugged, limping into the classroom behind her.

Alex looked up when Logan entered, watching Reva follow, then Elliot. He frowned as the bell rang, watching his students settle into their seats, one distinctly empty in the front row. His gaze kept returning to it as he went down his roll list, checking everyone off by sight.

He kept his eyes on his clipboard as he said over the low din of chatter, “Miss Sarno, will Miss Charming be joining us or should I mark her absent?”

He looked up when she didn’t answer right away and found Reva’s face conflicted but it smoothed quickly.

“She just needed to hit the ladies. She should be here soon.”

Alex pursed his lips and hummed. What had been a small gnawing insecurity this morning had swollen to something clawing and biting throughout the day. He couldn’t concentrate, irked by the smallest thing and staring at Kelsey’s empty chair only agitated him further. He tossed the clipboard onto the desk with a clatter and what little chatter had been going on stopped abruptly.

“Sorry,” Alex muttered, reaching for his copy of Hamlet and moving to sit behind his desk. “If you’ll all take out your books…”

They began to work through Act III Scene I but it became clear within the first few pages that he didn’t have the stamina for this right now. Reva and Logan had started an argument over the skull prop, so popular in the stage adaptations, during Hamlet’s most famous soliloquy. Alex pinched the bridge of his nose wondering how Kelsey could stand being around this day after day.

“I just think it’s a stupid move. Like, why is he dragging around his dad’s skull? Like, did he dig it up and just tuck it under his arm like some kind of purse and no one thought this was weird?” Logan asked. Reva turned in her seat to glare at him.

“He’s crazy. That’s a way that Shakespeare used to show that he was crazy. You know who carries around the skull of their father? Crazy people.” Reva gestured with a hand and turned to look at Alex. “Right Mr. Danvers?”

It took him a beat to realize she was speaking to him, his eyes on the door, wondering where Kelsey had gotten off to. Skipping class wasn’t her style. “Uh, yes Miss Sarno, that was one of the topics of discussion for your essays. ‘Was Hamlet actually crazy?’”

“Yes, he’s carrying around a human skull for chrissake,” said Reva while at the same time Logan was saying, “No Shakespeare was just a shitty writer.”

Reva looked absolutely horrified as she turned to look at him and he grinned at her. “Logan, I swear to God–”

“Okay, you know what,” Alex said, throwing his pen down on his desk and all eyes were on him. “How about we all just read silently for the rest of the period?”

“Really?” Reva asked, confused. Students began to look at each other, incredulous. Mr. Danvers never dedicated class time to silent reading.

Alex sat back in his chair, feeling the student’s eyes on him. No one moved, all of them looking at him as if he’d just told them to murder their mothers. He raised his eyebrows. “I can give you a quiz if you’d like…”

It was almost comical how fast their heads dropped, twenty teenagers going dead silent as they stared hard at the books in front of them.

Alex chewed his bottom lip in agitation, staring down at his own desktop. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or concerned that Kelsey was avoiding him. He also wasn’t sure why he wasn’t more concerned with her telling someone about what happened. The only thing he seemed to care about was seeing her again.

He continued to brood for the duration of the class period, the pensive look on his face more than enough to keep the entire room silent, if not sharing looks between each other nervously from time to time.

When the bell rang, chair legs scraped the floor as students tried to scramble out of their desks. It was a quick exit, most of them still uneasy about Mr. Danvers’ threat of a quiz, others simply ready for the weekend.

“Mr. Danvers?” He looked up to find Reva Sarno looking back at him concerned. She was the only student left in the room. He eyed the open door.

“How can I help you Miss Sarno?” He asked with a sigh, fatigue evident in his voice. She frowned.

“Please don’t get mad at Kelsey for missing class.” Alex fought the roll of his eyes. “She’s had a really terrible day, and she’s just embarrassed.”

Alex froze, his eyes snapping to hers and she jumped at the intensity of his gaze. Jesus Christ, and Kelsey has to deal with this practically every day.

“What do you mean she’s embarrassed?” Alex asked, his voice low with fabricated calm. Reva blinked at him.

“She told me what happened. You’ve gotta know Kelsey doesn’t do stuff like that on the regular.” Alex’s heart began to pound. “She’s a ‘good girl,’ ya know,” Reva said making air quotes and smiling.

“S-s-she told you? About… about what happened?” Alex asked, his mouth so dry he nearly choked on the words.

“Yeah,” Reva said with a careless shrug of her shoulder. “I mean I did have to practically drag it out of her. I know it’s super embarrassing but you should know all of us do it. It’s a generational thing.”

Alex’s eyebrows creased. “I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“Look, if you could just text her or something and say she’s not in trouble and you’re not going to stop tutoring her or whatever, it’d go a long way,” Reva said with a nod and she didn’t understand why he looked so pale all of a sudden.

“You think I… I should text her?” Alex sputtered and Reva nodded looking at him as if he were dense. “I’m supposed to text her about this?”

“Well, yeah,” Reva snorted, shaking her head as if this wasn’t absurd. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe this was how teenagers handled losing their virginity now. “Are you okay?” Reva asked taking in his stunned face and then she gasped. “Oh… oh Mr. Danvers don’t worry,” Reva said waving her arms. “I’m not gonna tell anybody. I know you would get in super a lot of trouble even though she was the one that sent it to you.”

Alex had a hand to his chest, really worried that he might actually be having heart palpitations as her words sunk in. “Sent me what?”

“The text message,” Reva said blinking at him. Alex gave her a blank stare.

“Wait a minute,” Alex said holding his hands out in front of him. “What are you talking about?”

“The text message about bending her over a desk. She was talking with a guy and sent it to you by mistake,” Reva said. Alex’s eyes widened and he jerked so hard Reva heard his knee collide with the underside of the desk. “Was that not what you were talking about?”

“Yes!” Alex practically shouted and Reva jumped. “Yes, it was I just- What do you mean another guy?”

“Yeah,” Reva said with a shrug. “You know us crazy teens and our sexting,” she said nodding and then looked horrified when she realized what she’d said. “I mean uh, not that Kelsey does that. Or me.”

“But you said–“

“I mean, yeah, she did that once when she accidentally sent it to you. But it wasn’t, like, about you. That would be inappropriate.” Reva said, her face a mask of seriousness. Alex didn’t know what was going on but he saw an opportunity to get some insight about Kelsey from probably the best source available.

“Is that why she’s been acting weird?” He ventured. Reva’s eyes widened.

“Okay, so you’ve noticed it too!” Reva threw her hands in the air as if she were finally vindicated. “She’s been super sketch lately, like coming home super late and just, like, disappearing for hours at a time, not returning texts.” Reva shook her head looking out the window. “And she’s been lying…”

“Lying?” Alex asked, feeling a tinge of nervousness.

“Yeah. She thinks I believe her because I don’t call her out on it but I know, Mr. Danvers. I’ve been friends with that girl for seventeen years and she is the world’s shittiest liar,” Reva said with a snort. “I just wish I knew what she was lying about.” She frowned out the window again before looking at him. “You don’t know where she’s been, do you?”

“Me? Why would I know?” Alex asked, his voice cracking. He could see Reva fighting a smile but she had the decency to move on without comment.

“She spends more time with you nowadays than with anyone else.”

Alex felt his ears heat up. “I wouldn’t go that far,” he muttered.

“Anyway, don’t give her detention or anything, please? She’s just super awkward and embarrassed.” Reva squinted her eyes as if something were dawning on her and she crossed her arms. “You know she also might have gotten her period.”

Alex’s eyes bulged before he snapped them shut, shaking his head as if it would fling what he’d just heard out of his mind.

“I mean that totally makes sense right? Why would she insist on going to the bathroom before the bell when she could have just gotten a pass? And then when she didn’t come back… you know it probably ruined her-”

“Miss Sarno if you stop talking right now I promise I won’t give either of you detention,” Alex said finally and Reva looked at him confused.

“Why would you give me detention?”

“Because you’re bothering me. Go home.” Reva blinked at him, his words taking a second to sink in. Then she laughed and shook her head.

“Kelsey said you were funny.” She looked at him for a beat longer than he was comfortable with. “Don’t worry, Mr. Danvers, I’ll get to the bottom of it,” she said with a nod. “I have a sixth sense for deception.” She tapped her temple. “And it’s Kelsey; what kind of deep dark secret could she be hiding?”

Alex coughed. “Ex-exactly.”

“Okay well, I’ll see you on Monday. Have a good weekend, Mr. Danvers,” she said brightly, giving him a real genuine smile, not her usual flirtatious smirk. He watched her go, not entirely sure what kind of conversation had transpired between them.

He was even more conflicted now than he had been before. Was Kelsey seeing someone else? Reva had been right, though he would never have admitted it to her, they had been spending the majority of their time together for the past two weeks. When did she have time to date someone else?

Listen to yourself. Someone else? As if you two are dating?

Alex shook his head, his elbows thumping onto the desk as he rubbed his face hard. He didn’t know how he was going to do it but he had to talk to Kelsey. If she had regrets, if she hated him if she was embarrassed it didn’t matter. This couldn’t hang between them unaddressed forever. She couldn’t continue to skip class and expect him to pass her. At least that’s what he told himself because admitting that he couldn’t stand not knowing where they stood with each other was too much for his weary mind to handle.