Doe
I felt nauseated. My brain throbbed against my skull, my tongue feeling like sandpaper inside my mouth.
I still smelled it, the sweet stench of chloroform stuck in my nostrils. The smell made me want to hurl, bringing back bad memories. Amazing how the human brain worked, connecting scents to certain memories. It sucked, having that negative connotation—which was probably why I had the need to puke.
Little by little, reality started to seep in as I gradually regained consciousness. There was no need for me to be fully aware of my surroundings to know I was back—back with him. I knew it by the ice that occupied my bones, the chill that spread through my veins, and the fear that stemmed from my soul. I felt him. I felt him all around me. His wickedness. His power. His heavy presence that consumed all the oxygen around me. Before I even opened my eyes, I saw his. The blue depths of endless evil—the cold, hard irises of the devil. He was back. He came for me.
I pushed myself up and groaned as my arms trembled. Every muscle in my body ached. It always did after I was chloroformed and manhandled by Vadik’s men. They were never gentle.
“I was wondering when my girl will wake up.”
The sound of that familiar thick Russian accent along with his grating voice was enough to push bile up the back of my throat. I didn’t want to open my eyes, but I knew I had no choice.
With my stomach turned upside down, fear running rampant with every breath, I finally gathered the courage to open my eyes while I kept myself upright with my arms.
First, I saw the steel bars in front of me. I didn’t have to look around to know I was stuck in a cage.
“Nessuno. Look at me.”
I closed my eyes again, my entire body starting to tremble. The name, the way he said it with such false tenderness, scraped pieces of bone from my spine. I took a deep breath.
“I said look at me, Nessuno.”
With a sideways glance, I peered over my shoulder. I wasn’t ready to turn all the way around to face him.
“Here.” He held out his hand just in reach from the cage. “I know how chloroform makes your head hurt.” There were two aspirins in his palm, but I refused to take it. I wanted nothing from him.
After a few seconds, he pulled his hand back. “Turn around and look at me.”
My rapid heartbeat echoed in my ear, my body completely frozen.
“I said turn around and fucking look at me!” His voice boomed through the empty space around me, causing me to jolt. Tears stung my eyes, but I clenched my jaw, refusing to show weakness.
The cage rocked gently from side to side. It was barely noticeable, but I felt it. We were on a boat. I was sure of it.
Hesitantly, I shifted, unable to stand up straight in the cage. I only managed to move my body around until finally…I looked at him.
To look into those ice blue eyes which reflected the cold rime of his soul was more horrifying than I ever could have imagined. Even though I knew this day would come, I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t prepared at all. Antonio had spent weeks building me up, uncovering the strength he saw inside me, doing everything he could to bring it to the surface. Antonio helped me build walls around my fragile soul, and all it took was one look into Vadik’s eyes for it all to crumble into nothing but dust.
“My sweet Nessuno. You have no idea how I’ve missed you.” He reached out through the steel bars to touch a strand of my hair, but I jerked back. His thin lips curved into a wicked grin. “I wondered if you changed during our time apart. Seems like you have.”
I remained silent in fear I might vomit if I attempted to open my mouth.
Vadik leaned his head to the side, glancing at the side of my neck covered with my hair hanging over my shoulder. I shuddered, hating the way his gaze scratched across my skin. The urge to look down, to not look him in the eye, was strong. It was, after all, how I had been taught, to not look at my master without permission. But he wasn’t my master anymore. And I was no longer the slave who did what she had been taught to do.
“He had no right to take you from me.” Vadik’s voice was laced with venom. “You belong to me. You are mine.”
“I don’t belong to you,” I gritted out between clenched teeth.
He grinned. “Oh, you do, my sweet Nessuno. You do. You just need to be reminded.”
“My name is not Nessuno.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Doe, is it?” The sly grin on his face told me all I needed to know. Vadik was a powerful man; he had spies and contacts everywhere. During the last couple of months, I was never really free of him. He was still close. He was just biding his time…until now.
My heart pounded like a jackhammer against my ribs, the fear threatening to break me in half. But I refused to show it. With sheer determination, I raised my chin. “Where is Karina?”
The grin on his face faltered, anger causing the skin of his neck to flush. “It seems that the time spent with the Valenti heir made you forget your manners.”
“No,” I countered. “My time spent with the Valenti heir made me realize I was so much more than what you made me.”
The grooves on his forehead was always a telltale sign of his anger. Whenever they appeared on his face, I knew I was one mistake away from regretting my own existence.
The blond strands of his shoulder-length hair hung down the sides of his face, his skin pale—not like Antonio’s year-around tan. If I didn’t know how wretched he was, I would have thought he was an attractive man. But I knew better. There was no end to the grotesque soul he carried around inside him.
His eyes lingered on me, and it felt like insects crawling over my skin. Seconds ticked by—tick-tock—and I knew his gaze alone was enough to drive me insane.
Unable to look at him any longer, I dropped my gaze, and he let out a laugh. “You’ll always just be Nessuno, the girl who existed solely to be used. To serve and obey.”
I bit my bottom lip before whispering, “Where is Karina?”
He slowly paced around the cage. One leisurely step in front of the other, I listened to the sound of his black, shiny, polished shoes against the wooden floors. “She’s safe.”
“Is she hurt?”
He stopped pacing. “Not yet.”
The threat was there. The possibility that he might do Karina harm. It hurt, thinking about it. Thinking Karina might be the next victim of Vadik’s madness.
“Please don’t hurt her,” I begged. “I did as you asked. I came freely, without anyone following me. Just let her go. It’s me you want.”
I finally braved it to look up at him in time to see him shrug. “True. But before I can let her go, I have one more use for the Valenti girl.”
“What? What are you talking about? Use her for what?”
He started pacing again, holding his hands behind his back as if he was sophistication personified. “To trade.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. “Trade for what?”
“Who. Trade for who?”
With narrowed eyes and a racing heart, I stared at him, into the depths of his soulless eyes. I couldn’t get myself to ask, because I already knew what the answer might be. “Vadik—”
“Master!” he yelled, grabbing steel bars in his fists, rattling the cage. “I am still your fucking master, and you will address me as such.” Blue eyes blazed with rage, his cheeks red. The more I stared at his angered face, the more memories started to play off inside my head like flashcards straight from the pits of hell.
Pain.
Punishment.
Torture.
Hate.
Tears slipped down my cheeks. “Please. Just don’t hurt them. I’m here. I’m back. There’s no need to hurt anyone else.”
He cocked his head to the side, his hands brushing up and down the steel bars. “My dear, naïve, little Nessuno. What kind of man would I be if I let the Valenti heir live after he stole from me?”
“He didn’t steal from you. It wasn’t him.”
Vadik let out a maniacal laugh. “Naïve. Naïve. Naïve. Of course, I know he wasn’t the one who stole you from me. But unfortunately, word on the street is Antonio Valenti, boss of Boston’s notorious crime family, was the one who took you from me. My reputation is already tarnished. I have no choice but to demand he pay for his crime.”
More tears slipped down my cheeks, soft whimpers rolling over my lips. “There was no crime,” I whispered.
“Of course, there was.”
Anger simmered.
“Stealing is a crime, Nessuno.”
And then it exploded.
“I wasn’t stolen from you because I was never yours! I don’t fucking belong to you!” My voice came out loud and hard, slamming against the walls. Tears streamed down my face, but it was a mix of anger and pain. Fear and rage. My nostrils flared as I launched forward on my knees, grabbing the steel bars. “You were the one who stole me ten years ago. It was you! You are the thief!”
Vadik stepped back, his wide eyes focused on me. “My, my, my. Seems like the Valenti heir managed to fuck a spine into you.”
My chest rose and fell, my rapid, shallow breathing causing my lungs to expand even though it didn’t feel like I was breathing. I was too busy concentrating on the rage, turning it into courage so I could have the strength to not show weakness.
Vadik tilted his head the side, studying me. “I will kill him for that, you know. For putting his filthy hands on you, touching what’s mine. Even if my reputation wasn’t at stake, I’d still drive my knife through his heart.” He leaned forward, cold, hard eyes pinned on me. “Then I’ll spend the rest of my life fucking him out of you in the most unimaginable ways. You think you’ve seen the worst of me. You’re wrong.” The hate in his eyes caused me to shudder, and I felt the strength I had a few seconds ago evaporate.
I stepped back, and he smiled. “Not so brave now, are you?”
“Please,” I whispered. “Don’t hurt them.”
He rubbed the stubble on his chin, eyes dark and vicious. “I might let the Valenti girl go…after I’ve fucked her.”
“No!” My heart ached, my ribs feeling like they were being cracked one by one. I knew him. I knew what to expect from his evil touch. But Karina didn’t. There was no way she’d survive him.
I heard the sound of a motorboat engine, and my gaze cut to Vadik. The corners of his mouth curved into a smirk. “I give you one guess who that is.”
No. No. No. I shook my head, fear clawing into my lungs. “Don’t do this. You don’t have to hurt him.” I wanted to plead. I wanted to beg. I wanted to go back in time so I could stop myself from ever defying him. Maybe if I had obeyed him from the start, never disobeying him, he would have had mercy right at this moment. But the way his eyes darkened, the sheer satisfaction and excitement plastered across his face, told me there would have been nothing I could have done to stop him.
“You have me back. You don’t have to hurt him. Please.”
Vadik snorted. “He corrupted you, fucked up all the years I invested in breaking and molding you into the perfect puppet. And for that, he will die.” He leaned forward, still wearing that vicious smile. “But not before he witnesses me ruin you over…and over…and over again.”
“Dear God,” I whispered. Vadik hadn’t even touched me yet, and already I could feel him break me, little by little.
I fell back on my ass, pulling my knees up to my chest. Slowly, I felt myself falling, being pulled back to the past. My mind was already starting to sort through the emotions, through the pain, readying to compartmentalize. It was the only defense I had. The only escape.
“Remember this?”
I looked up and sucked in a breath when I saw the diamond studded collar he held in his hand, a golden ring attached to the front. “No.” I shook my head.
“Yes.” He smirked. “It’s time, Nessuno.” He bent down, pushing a key into the lock on the cage door. “Now, be a good little girl, and let’s put on a show the Valenti heir will never forget.”