Antonio
Doe and I didn’t leave the barn house for a week. We spent the days training, and the nights fucking. Away from the rest of the family, alone, we had the freedom to embrace the darkness we both harbored inside. No inhibitions. No reserves. Just us and the one thing that bound us together, our depravity. It was funny, really. I was born with this amount of twisted in me. Doe, on the other hand, had it beaten and raped into her. But that didn’t change the fact that we were two imperfect parts put together as one perfect force.
The more I pushed her, the more she started to embrace her own strength. The mere fact that she was learning so fast was proof enough that I had made the right decision. It was like she found the fire in her, the need to become empowered. To no longer be the innocent, vulnerable doe I found in the dark. And I was falling more and more in love with her the stronger she became. To see her go from slave to queen right before my eyes was the most amazing fucking thing I’d ever witnessed in my entire goddamn life. The tame, placid, docile look she always had in her eyes was changing. Those dark chocolate swirls were starting to beam with light, power shining through her irises.
Every time she fired a gun, her aim got better. It wasn’t part of my plan, but seeing her learn so quickly how to handle a firearm, I took it up a notch and had her training with knives and every other goddamn weapon I could think of. After every training session, we fucked like savages. The adrenaline. The sheer power that pulsed like a fucking heartbeat between us was intoxicating. It turned us into animals—into beasts who wanted to devour each other. This thing between us was hard. It was raw. It was fierce. And it was everything I ever fucking wanted with a woman.
“Can’t we stay here forever?” Her voice sounded lazy, both of us spent from indulging in each other.
My fingers slowly trailed down the curve of her back. “Reality is a cruel awakening, isn’t it?”
Silence fell around us, and I felt the tension rise—her tension.
“He’s going to come for me.” It wasn’t a question.
“When he does, we’ll be ready for him.” No use in denying it. She knew it as well as I did. Vadik was coming. Only she didn’t know the truth about Vadik’s desperation to get her back. She thought it was a mere obsession he had with her, and the fact that someone had the balls to steal her from him. But it was so much more than that.
I sat up, steadying myself on my elbow, then brushed her hair away from her face, staring at her marred ear. “I made an appointment with a doctor to get this fixed.”
She turned to face me, the soft pink of her nipples forcing my gaze away from her face. “You want to fix my scars?”
I looked at her. “I can’t promise it’ll work. But I think it’s worth a try.”
“Vadik already tried. Not even one of the best plastic surgeons on his payroll could fix it.” There was a slight hint of animosity in her voice. I didn’t like it.
“Doe, it’s worth a try.”
“Why? Do my scars bother you?”
I sat up straight. “The fuck it does. No. It’s not about the goddamn scars, it’s about righting what that fucker did to you.”
“You can’t fix this, Antonio.” She turned away from me, and I balled my fist. The need to grab her face and force her to look at me was overwhelming. Just because I wanted her to shed the skin of the slave she wore didn’t mean I was less of a motherfucker with control issues. I still had the need to demand respect. But I knew better. If I wanted her to get this surgery done, I needed to keep my shit together. It was the most important part of the plan.
“Doe, look at me.” The fact that she took a few breaths before she obeyed was proof that the obedient, fragile girl in her was disappearing. Good.
Once she turned, her eyes focused on mine, I made an effort to drop the stone look on my face. “I do have an ulterior motive for you having this surgery, but it’s not because I think of your scars as ugly, or anything but a flawed perfection.”
Her eyes softened, and she sat up in the bed with me. “Then what is it?”
“There’s no use bullshitting around the truth. He will come for you.”
She visibly shuddered.
“I want to make sure we have every security measure in place the day he does.”
Her eyebrows slanted inward. “I don’t understand. What does the surgery have to do with my security against Vadik?”
With a soft touch, I brushed her hair behind her shoulder before letting my gaze settle on hers once again. “There’s a chip.” My heart was pounding.
“A chip?”
“Yes. It’s a microchip.” I took a breath. “It’s the only way to make sure I always know where you are.”
“A tracking device?”
“Something like that, yes.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You want to implant a tracking device under my skin?”
“Yes.”
And cue awkward silence.
Doe sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, eyes narrowed, seemingly in thought. She had to do this. She had to agree. There was no way for her not to do this. The question was, would she do it on her own accord, willingly? Or was I going to have to force her to do it? I was praying like fuck it wouldn’t be the latter.
Dark curls fell around her shoulder as she pulled her fingers through her hair. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay. But only if you do the same.”
I cocked a brow. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“You don’t know Vadik like I do. He’s coming for me, but chances are he’s coming for you too.”
That was my pretty, clever girl. Another sign she would rule with an iron fist by my side.
I pulled her closer and kissed her. Our lips locked, and I wished there was a way for me to taste her on my tongue forever.
“Okay,” I conceded. It was working out well. Everything was going according to plan. Whether Vadik would act as predictably as we thought he would remained to be seen.
“Oh.” I leaned over and opened the bedside drawer, grabbing the black box. “This is for you.”
A smile warm enough to melt entire Antarctic spread across her beautiful face. “What is it?’
“Open it.”
Gently, she tugged on the silver bow. Her excitement was tangible.
She opened the box and stared at what was inside before looking at me with utter amazement. “A necklace. Antonio, it’s beautiful.” Her gaze dropped to the box, and she brushed her fingertips gently over the yellow gold collar, slowly moving across the silver plates, pausing when she reached the gem. She sucked in a breath. “The stone, it’s exquisite.”
“It’s a bloodstone.
Her gaze cut to mine. “A bloodstone?”
“The bloodstone is known to be one of the most powerful gems.” I removed the necklace from the box and held it in my hand. “It’s said to bestow the wearer with good health and long life.” I brushed across the dark green gem, with the presence of red, blood-like inclusions. “It’s also supposed to give strength by providing positive energy.” I met her gaze. “It’s also for protection,” I added.
Doe frowned, scrunching her nose. “Is the gem supposed to protect me?”
“No.” I touched the silver plates below the prong-set gem, releasing the hidden blade. “But this is.”
One of her dark brows rose, and without blinking, I grabbed her arm, pushed her back down on the bed, and held the blade against her throat. She swallowed, and I watched the movement, my cock hard and ready. “Another security precaution.” I pressed the tip of the blade into her neck causing her to gasp. A tiny drop of blood seeped from her skin. “Never get caught off guard. All it takes is one second, one moment of hesitation, and your blood is spilled.” I twisted the tip deeper into her skin. “With this hidden blade, all it takes is one second, one action, and you can slice a man’s last breath from his body.”
Her chest rose and fell, her breathing shallow. But her eyes, they spoke volumes. Dark circles of desire stared up at me, and I could practically see the flame of twisted lust, feel its heat…smell her arousal. She liked the pain. Craved it. But I’d kept it from her, not because I thought she couldn’t handle it. Because I knew I couldn’t.
I watched as the drop of crimson trickled down her throat, the contrast of color absolutely breathtaking against her ivory skin. The animal in me scratched against its cage. I leaned down—my heart racing, my cock aching—and I gently eased my tongue across her skin, lapping up the tiny smear of blood.
The taste of her soul on my tongue was exquisite, and I growled, wanting more as I flexed, pushing my cock against her hip. “You bring out the devil in me, Doe. And I don’t think I’m strong enough to fight him anymore.” I dragged my tongue up her throat, my core heavy with a lust strong enough to own me—and to break her.
Her hand moved up my arm, my shoulder, wanting to wrap around my neck. But I grabbed it, forcing it down above her head. Judging by the adrenaline pulsing through my veins, I knew my grip on her wrist was too tight, but while the taste of her blood lingered in my mouth, I didn’t give a fuck.
I gazed down at her and watched as she lifted her other arm above her head, wrapping her fingers around the bars of the headboard…surrendering.
“I don’t want you to fight him anymore,” she whispered. “It’s the devil in you who lured me in. But it’s the angel in you who made me want to stay.”
Her words struck a chord inside my heart, beating a staccato rhythm against my ribs. Somehow, this woman had the power to set me aflame, yet disarm me at the same damn time.
Doe writhed beneath me, her legs opening, urging me to settle between them. Her body was searching for ecstasy. Something only I had ever given her.
With the blade still against her throat, she lifted her chin, pressing her skin harder against the blade. “I don’t want you to hold back anymore.”
“Doe—”
“If I’m the reason you’re holding back, don’t.” I shook my head, but she continued, “I’ve lived in the darkness for too long, Antonio. I can’t escape it anymore. It’s a part of me now. A part of who I am.”
My fucking heart was about to explode. Did she not realize that it wasn’t because of her? Okay, maybe part of it was because of her. Because I believed with all my heart that she deserved better. She deserved to finally be able to live in the light, without fear, without pain, without uncertainty. But I was too damn selfish to let her go, so I chose to contain my darkness. To contain the twisted urges my fucking body and psyche demanded.
I let go of her wrist. “It’s not you, Doe.” I tried to push myself up, but she wrapped her damn perfect legs around my waist, keeping me locked between her thighs.
All she did was curve her lips at the corners, her hands still clutching the headboard. A part of me loved how daring she had become, how her self-confidence had started to flourish. She was playing a dangerous game, and she knew it. Yet she still wanted to play.
I frowned. “Don’t tempt the devil, Doe.”
“Then don’t deny your angel.”
I shot up on my knees, one hand reaching for her neck while I had the blade still pressed against her throat. “Do you want me to lose my shit again? Tie you up and beat you? Do you really want me to be the villain here? To be the man who gets off by watching you bleed?”
Her silence was my only answer, so I traced the tip of the blade from her throat all the way to her mutilated ear. “Do you want to feel the slice of my whip across your skin right before I fuck you so hard it feels like I’m turning you inside out? Is that what you want?”
“Is that what you want?” Her eyes searched my face as if the answer to her question could be found in the crevices of my skin. But my face was fucking stone since I had mastered concealing my emotions years ago.
“Is that what you want…Master?”
I bit my bottom lip, my spine and my core feeling as if something wanted to tear through my body. As if a beast was trying to claw its way out of me. It would take a mere second for me to let go, to break the chains and let the darkness consume me. One. Fucking. Second.
I took a deep breath, my lungs expanding, fighting to push back the dark.
I dragged the blade back down, pressing just hard enough for the tip to scratch the surface of her skin before clicking it back in place, the weapon hidden and concealed within the necklace I still held in my hand. “I’m trying to be the man you deserve, Doe. I’m trying to love you the way you deserve to be loved. And if burying a part of me, the part that wishes I could fucking use you until there was nothing left for any other man to use after me, then I’ll do it. I’ll do it gladly. Why? Because I fucking love you. I will do everything in my goddamn power to love you with all the good I have inside me, and I’ll remain on my fucking knees praying for the strength to fight the bad in me from consuming you.”
Whether my words made any fucking sense, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I just said it the way it was. Spoke the truth. Told her in so many words that I didn’t deserve to love her. But I was too much of a selfish ass to let her go. Besides, fate sent her my way. I’d be a fool if I didn’t keep her.
Her legs fell down beside me, and she let go of the headboard, her eyes soft and tame. “No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”
“Is that a good thing?”
She sat up, and I leaned back, placing my legs beside her. We were eye to eye, and she smiled. “It’s the best thing ever, Antonio. Right now, after you said all that, I feel like I might just be worth something…something to you.”
I brushed her dark curls over her shoulder. “You have no idea, Doe. You have no idea.”
While we sat there, the most intense and powerful moment passed between us. It was a moment strong enough to disarm a man like myself. A moment which could change everything. It was a moment of clarity. The moment I realized my life would be nothing without her.
After placing a single, gentle kiss on her lips, I put the necklace around her neck, clipping it in place. “Just another security precaution.” I moved closer. “Knowing you have at least this gives me the slightest peace of mind.”
While clutching the necklace on her chest, Doe stared at me as if I had just given her the moon and stars. “You have no idea what this means to me. No one has ever given me something so precious.”
There were no words. There was nothing I could say. For years, Doe spent her life getting scraps and worthless shit even though she deserved so much more. God, I prayed I’d have a lifetime of opportunities to give her all the things that would make her feel as special as she was to me.
I reached out, placing the blade below her right ear. “Always go for the ear.”
“What?” Her eyes showed her confusion.
“The ear. Always go for the ear. It’s the piece of the body that can easily be torn off with the least amount of strength.”
I eased the tip of the blade down across the beating vein in her neck then clicked the blade back in place on the chain. I glanced at the necklace then back up to her. “Pretty, yet deadly.” My gaze was etched on her. She heard it. She knew I wasn’t just talking about a deadly weapon disguised as a pretty piece of jewelry.
I took her hand. “Now, come. If we don’t get back to the house today, Karina will march over here and shove her sharpest heel up my ass.” And I wasn’t kidding. She made me swear not to keep Doe for too long. I swore to God, it seemed like Karina had found the little sister she never had when it came to Doe.
On our way back to the main house, I wanted to turn around so many times, it wasn’t even funny. It felt good to have Doe to myself. To be with her twenty-four-seven without anyone else in the vicinity. Even though our mini escape from reality was for a reason, it did have its perks. But it was time. Not only had I been away from home, I was also away from the family business. It was going to take Lucio and Lorik a good few hours to get me up to speed on everything.
I switched off the engine of the quad, and Karina came rushing out. “About damn time.” She hugged Doe as if she hadn’t seen the woman in years.
“Geez, little sis. Were we gone that long?”
She scowled at me, clearly picking up on my sarcasm. “You left an asshole, and now you came back…still an asshole.”
I grabbed her and pulled her under my arm. “I missed you too.”
She feigned a smile, and then I noticed the slight tick she had in her jaw. I narrowed my eyes. “What is going on?”
“Nothing.”
She answered that one way too fucking quickly.
“What is going on, Karina?”
“I told you—”
“Hello, brother.”
I balked, recognizing the voice. When I turned to the front door, Dante stood there smiling at me. “Before you lose your shit, Layla and Rafe ain’t here.”
For a moment, I balled my fists, angry that I had been so disobeyed. My order was clear. Dante was to steer clear of Boston until this whole Vadik situation had been dealt with. And his place was with his family.
I walked up to him, never taking my disapproving glare off his face. How dared he? How dared any of them disobey me so blatantly? As I stepped up to him, his gaze never leaving my glare, there was only one thing I could say.
“I missed you, brother.”
He smiled. “I missed your stubborn ass too, big bro.”
We were never the hugging type, but the fact that I was really fucking happy to see my brother—even though he went against my direct order. So, I pulled him in for a bro-hug. Double-crossed arms and hand slapping. No funny chest against chest kinda hug. That would have been weird.
“Aah, would you look at that.” Lorik stood behind Dante. “It’s like a scene from a Hallmark movie.”
Dante turned to him. “I can’t explain it, but for some weird fuckin’ reason I actually missed your Albanian ass.”
“Of course, you did.” Lorik winked.
Dante just shook his head, then looked over my shoulder at Doe. “She looks good, brother.”
My chest swelled. “Yeah. She’s changed a lot since you left.”
“And you.”
“What about me?”
“It’s only been two minutes, and I can already see you’re different.”
I frowned. “Different? How?”
“I dunno. You seem…lighter.”
Lorik peeked over Dante’s shoulder. “He does have a sort of airiness to him, doesn’t he?”
“Lorik,” I scowled, “mind your own fucking business.”
“What? I’m just saying. If you had a dance belt to protect your balls, you could easily pull off the whole ballerina thing with all the…light around you.” The smirk on his face begged to be smashed in.
“First,” I started, “in Italian, it’s called a ballerino.”
Lorik seemed enlightened. “Oh, you mean, almost like bambino?”
“No, Lorik. Not like bambino.”
“Bimbo?”
“No! No! Not fucking bimbo. Ballerin—” I paused. “You know what? Fuck it. Let’s just get a drink.”
Lorik grabbed us both around our shoulders. “Man, it feels good to have you two fuckers back under one roof.”
I glanced over my shoulder and saw the smile on Doe’s face as she watched the fucking spectacle that was Lorik. With a knowing look, she silently conveyed to me that she was okay, and I needn’t worry. Karina took her hand, and off they went. Probably to the garden, since Karina knew how much Doe loved it. With winter looming just around the corner, it wouldn’t be long before the garden colors disappeared under a blanket of white.
For the rest of the day, Lorik, Dante, and I spent our time catching up, talking shit, and drinking bourbon. It felt good to see my brother again, but a part of me still argued that his place was with Layla and Rafe. Ultimately, it was his decision.
“Where are they?” I asked Dante as he sat across from me nursing his third glass of bourbon.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
Dante swirled the auburn-colored liquid around in his glass. “I told Layla not to tell me where they were going.” He shrugged. “Just in case shit got real.”
I nodded. “Good call, brother. But they have a protection detail?”
“Yes. Lucio figured that all out for us.”
I snorted. Of course, our stubborn, know-it-all cousin was in on this as well.
“Talking about Lucio, where is the little fucker?” Dante took a sip from his drink.
I rubbed circles around the rim of my glass. “He’s out doing a few things for me.”
“What things?” Dante narrowed his eyes at me. I had to tread carefully. If there was anyone who had the ability to see right through me, it was my little brother. A part of me wanted to tell him about Mancuso. About how I jabbed my blade into his skull. I wanted to tell my brother that our archenemy was dead, that our family—our dad—had finally been avenged. But I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk Doe finding out about Mancuso, and that her dad and the man who sold her were one and the same.
“Things that ensure Doe’s safety.”
Dante shifted in his seat. “So, she’s the real deal?”
“If by that you mean my woman, then yes.”
“And Vadik?”
Lorik leaned forward in his seat. “Fucker hasn’t shown his face yet. I’m wondering what his MO is.”
I gulped down the rest of my drink. Talking about the fucker made me nervous. He was out there. And I had something he desperately wanted back. Chances were he would strike any day, and all I could do to keep Doe safe was to get that fucking chip out of her neck without her knowing, and then amp up the ammo around her. Other than that, we were pretty much flying fucking blind.
I stood and refilled my glass, my mind scattered with thoughts of everything that could possibly go wrong. Just the thought of Vadik getting close to Doe ever again had me seeing images of his fucking intestines hanging over the crystal chandelier in my goddamn dining room.
“Any word on Mancuso?” Dante asked, and a memory of Stefano’s dead body popped into my head. I swore to God I almost had a fucking orgasm just thinking about how it felt when my knife sliced through his motherfucking head. Jesus, I was borderline bipolar. Going from wanting to slice someone’s guts out, to coming in my pants while thinking of a dead body. I needed more than just a bottle of bourbon.
“So?” Dante pushed for an answer. “No news on Mancuso?”
“No.” My answer was clipped, the subject not open for discussion.
“I suppose we have bigger things to worry about at the moment.”
I just nodded. Vadik was a “bigger thing.”
“Hey,” Lorik chimed in. “What about we go have a few drinks at Vertigo tonight?”
“No can do.” I placed my drink down on the table next to me. “I’m not leaving Doe tonight.”
“Let her come too, then.”
“I’m going to pretend that the only reason you said that was because you didn’t think that one through before you opened your big fucking mouth.”
Lorik leaned back in his seat. “I’m serious. You can’t keep her hidden for always.”
“Not always. Just until I’ve buried Vadik six feet underground.”
“Listen, all jokes aside. I think it would be good for her to get out, to do something normal with us. Poor girl walks around these halls knowing she has a giant bullseye on her forehead.”
I cocked a brow. “It’s because of that giant bullseye on her forehead that your idea sucks.”
“I agree with Lorik.” All three of us looked up at Karina standing by the door. “She needs a little normal, Antonio.”
“And you need to keep your nose out my fucking business.” I shot up from my seat, and so did Lorik.
“Hey, man, chill. There’s no need for you to talk to your sister like that. We’re allowed to give our opinion.”
“Not when it comes to Doe.” My glare was fucking concrete.
Dante got up. “I agree with them, brother.”
“What?”
“If you want Doe to live a normal life, normal has to start now. Not when Vadik is dead and buried. That could take years.” Not if I could help it. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to do this. It’s risky. But we have Lucio, and he’s the best at what he does. Plus, we have Vertigo in our pockets. We can have that place scouted and secure within the fucking hour.”
“No.” One word that signaled that we had reached the end of this discussion. But in typical Karina fashion, she ignored that fucking signal by slamming the door closed and stomped right up to me.
“She needs this. She needs to be treated less like a fucking porcelain doll who can break, and more like a woman who has fucking steel in her spine.” Her eyes narrowed, and she moved even closer to me. “You keeping her away from the world is more about you being afraid than her being in danger.”
I snorted. “And what the fuck do you think I’m afraid of?”
“Losing her.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Lorik wanting to come closer, but Dante stopped him. Lorik hadn’t been part of this family long enough to know how my sister and I battled. Karina never backed down, and neither did I. It was fire against fire. But this time Karina’s words hit home.
“Whether it’s my fear or the danger she’s in, the fact of the matter is it’s too fucking risky to have her all out in the open.”
“Is that why you took her out to the beach at night? Thinking the dark can hide her from our enemies?”
I licked my lips, frustration and anger threatening to get the better of me.
“You see, Antonio. There is a part of you that knows we’re right. That knows she needs as much normal as we can give her right now. Otherwise, you never would have taken her to the beach.”
This time Dante stepped up next to her. “We’ll all be there. Lorik, you, me. Lucio and his team. We’ll fucking double security at Vertigo if that’s what it takes.”
“Please, Antonio,” Karina pleaded. “I know you know how strong Doe really is. She can do this. She’s ready.”
But I wasn’t. I wasn’t fucking ready yet. Ironic. I’d spent all this fucking time being who Doe needed me to be. A gentleman. An attentive lover. A love-sick puppy. A ruthless king. I’d been all these things to her in order to make her stronger, and here my family was, telling me Doe was ready, that she was strong enough to face the world—and now I wasn’t the one ready to put her out there.
I narrowed my eyes, retaliation stinging the tip of my tongue. Why? Because I didn’t want to admit they were all right, and I was wrong. I was the leader of this family, and there were a hundred different ways for me to tell all of them to fuck off. But part of being a leader was being able to admit when you were wrong.
I dragged my fingers through my hair, biting my bottom lip. “Fine.”
Karina squealed.
“But,” I pointed a finger at them, going from one to the other, “security will be tripled at Vertigo, and I want all your goddamn eyes on her the entire fucking time. Is that clear?”
Lorik joined in. “Dude, I can’t promise that since my woman’s ass has a way of demanding all my attention.”
“Seriously, Lorik?” Karina glared holes into his forehead.
“What?” He shrugged. Fucking clueless son of a bitch.
Dante didn’t hover. He grabbed his phone, and I heard him talk to Lucio as he walked out of the room. Karina smiled. “We’re all in this together, Antonio. Doe is a part of this family now, and we protect what is ours.” There it was, the mafia in my sister. She might not be as immersed in our family’s way of doing things, but being mafia was in our blood…including hers.