Ten
“Are you sure about this?” I asked as I looked at the window display in front of the dress shop. It wasn’t what I expected. Instead of a cupcake fluff-fest, it was a little more edgy. The mannequin in the window had a high-low dress with a hint of pink in the skirt that was posed next to a moped and had a set of motorcycle boots on the other side. Okay, this was not your average dress shop.
“Yeah, I am,” Cara said, reaching out and holding the door for me. “Come on, this is going to be fun.”
I took a deep breath and walked into the shop. It was light and bright, but didn’t feel stuffy. There were comfy couches and chairs everywhere and at one end of the shop were mirrors and even a little runway. Several other people were already browsing as soft music played from hidden speakers. I stopped to listen and realized it was Etta James. Nice.
“Welcome to Love and Lace, do you have an appointment?” We both turned to find a consultant standing near us. She wore a black lace t-shirt with a leather skirt and black booties. It was a nice contrast to all the white around.
“Yes, I have an appointment. Cara Simms?” The consultant held up a tablet and scrolled.
“Great, you’re all checked in. I’m Chloe and I’ll be working with you today. Who have you brought with you?” Cara looked at me and I looked at her and then she looked back at Chloe.
“This is my fiancée, Loren,” Cara said, and I almost fell over. I mean, technically I was, but I didn’t think she was going to be so open about it.
“Congratulations to you both,” Chloe said, beaming at both of us. “Now do you want to get a dress as well, or are you looking for something else?” I still couldn’t get over the fact that Cara had called me her fiancée in public for the first time.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know,” I mumbled.
“That’s absolutely fine. You can look around and see what you might like and we’ll make another appointment. Now, when is the big day?” Cara and I shared a look.
“As soon as possible,” I said, and Chloe laughed.
“Okay, that makes things a little different. Usually gowns have to be ordered months in advance, but I can show you what we’ve got in stock. Now, do you want to see her in the dress, Loren?” Cara turned to me.
“I don’t think I can pick without you,” she said, and my heart did a little wiggle of joy. I loved that she needed my opinion to make this decision. Plus, Cara looked amazing in everything, so it was going to be a good time. I’d been totally anxious and apprehensive, but now I was getting excited. Little birds were flapping their wings in my stomach. Not butterflies, these flutters were bigger than that.
“You two are so sweet, this is going to be fun.” Chloe clapped her hands happily and I was glad she was almost as into this as I was. Part of me had been a little worried we might run into a homophobic consultant. You never knew when anti-queerness was going to rear its nasty head, but Chloe seemed totally on board and, after glancing around again, I noticed something you might not see in a more conservative bridal shop: white suits. There was a whole wall of them, some that had matching skirts that were cut so as to be open in the front to show the pants, and then that draped into the back. A mannequin had one of the contraptions on that had a sweeping train bedazzled with rhinestones and lace. Now THAT was a look.
Chloe took us through the whole shop, asking Cara about her style, what she wanted to look like on the day, whether or not she wanted pure white or was open to colors (of which there were many), and if she wanted to wear a veil or not.
“I don’t think I want a veil. It’s going to be more casual,” she said. Her hands were trembling and there was panic in her eyes. She was getting overwhelmed, I could tell, so I reached out and squeezed her fingers.
“It’s okay, Care, you don’t have to decide now. I can take pictures of you in each dress and then you can sit down and do pro and con lists for each one.” Her face relaxed and she leaned into me.
“Thank you. I don’t know how I could do this without you.”
“Okay, you have to stop. I can’t,” Chloe said, shaking her head at us. “You’re just too cute.” For some reason, I didn’t care that she thought we were a romantic couple. Close friendship could often look like that, especially when girls were concerned. And it wasn’t like I didn’t love Cara. I did. I loved her more than I’d ever loved anyone, no question. I didn’t dare spoil Chloe’s heart-eyes by telling her we were just faking this for money. If she was buying it and it made her happy, who cared? Lots of people were going to think we were a couple, so what did it matter if this random bridal consultant thought so?
Cara pointed to a few dresses that caught her eye and then went with Chloe into the changing room. I took my seat on a plush off-white couch and waited. There was another group seated near me that looked to be a girl who had brought literally everyone she had ever met to help her make this decision. Mom, grandmother, aunts, cousins, best friends, etc. The works. I shuddered as she came out in a dress that she clearly loved, judging from the smile beaming on her face, but was promptly shut down by nearly everyone. Her shoulders crumpled and she shuffled sadly back to the dressing room. A little voice inside me wanted to pipe up and tell her that those people didn’t know what they were talking about and that she had looked amazing, but it wasn’t my place to interfere. Still, I tried to shoot her a sympathetic look when she came out in the next dress which was boring as fuck, but her whole group clapped as if it was the most beautiful dress ever created. Blah city. I couldn’t watch anymore, and Chloe poked her head out of the dressing room to tell me that Cara was coming out in the first dress.
My hands started to shake and I couldn’t breathe. I clutched my fingers together and tried to calm myself. Why was I getting so worked up? Maybe they pumped something through the air here, along with the subtle scents of lemons and lavender.
“Here she comes,” Chloe said, holding the door open and stepping aside to let Cara walk out.
“Oh, shit,” I said in a whisper.
“Is it too much?” Cara said, biting her bottom lip.
I shook my head, unable to form words.
“Is that good?” she asked, looking down at the flowing skirt that was draped perfectly and fell to the floor. The top had gauzy straps that rested on her shoulders and light pink lace flowers on the bodice. It was stunning and subtle at the same time and fit her body like a glove. As if it was made for her. Chloe had pulled her hair back in a loose bun that was just haphazard enough to be perfect.
“I wasn’t sure about the pink, but...” Cara said, brushing her hand across the top of the bodice, right where the dress ended and the skin of her upper chest was revealed. She was looking for something from me, but I just couldn’t seem to make words come from my mouth.
“I’m going to take a wild guess and say that she likes it,” Chloe said. “Let me know if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s what that look on her face means.” I nodded slowly.
“It’s perfect,” I finally said. My mouth was dry and I had to swallow a few times.
“Is it?” she asked, twirling around and showing me the incredible movement of the skirt.
“Yeah,” I said, not even realizing I’d gotten up and had walked up the steps to the little platform she was on in front of the mirrors.
“You look so pretty,” I said, and I found tears coming from my eyes.
“Do I?” she asked, a question still in her voice.
“You do. I promise.”
“Do you apple pie promise?” she said and a laugh bubbled out of my throat. When we were kids, we’d decided to have something bigger than a pinkie promise and apple pie was both of our favorite things at the time, so we swore on apple pie instead. Since then our tastes had changed and I was more of an ice cream girl, but the sentiment was the same.
I reached out and took both of her hands.
“I apple pie promise.” She squeezed my hands back and looked over her shoulder at the mirror.
“I can’t pick this one, Lo. It’s the first one I’ve tried on. You can’t pick the first one.” Chloe cleared her throat.
“Many brides find that their first instinct is the right one and end up coming back to the first dress even after trying on dozens of others. Just something to keep in mind.” Cara turned her head to the side and swished the dress a little. I let go of one of her hands and motioned for her to twirl under my arm. She did, giggling a little.
“It twirls perfectly, which is very important,” I said, keeping my face serious.
“Well, that’s good to know. But I still want to try on more dresses.” I didn’t care if she wanted to try on every damn thing in the whole entire store. Twice. I would stay here with her. I would come back the next day and the next forever if she wanted. I’d move in to this store.
“How are we doing over here?” said a husky voice. I turned to find a woman in black leather pants, a gauzy black tank, and a blazer. Her hair was bleached white and undercut on one side. I got immediate queer vibes, especially when I saw that she had an industrial ear piercing on the undercut side. The queer points were racking up.
“Good,” Chloe said. “Cara, Lo, this is Maeve, the owner of the store.”
“Oh, wow, it’s nice to meet you,” Cara said, shaking Maeve’s hand. I also shook her hand.
“I have to say, that dress isn’t for everyone, but you’re rocking it. I love that touch of pink,” Maeve said, looking Cara up and down. I swear, Cara was blushing.
“Me too,” I said, moving to stand closer to Cara. I had the urge to put my arm around her, or hold up the hand with her ring on it.
“It’s like it was made for you,” Maeve said, ignoring me. “Is this the first one you’ve tried on?” Cara nodded.
“Well, we might have hit a home run, what do you think?” Cara said that she loved the dress, but didn’t think she should pick the first dress without trying on any others.
“Sensible. I like that. Well, let me know if there’s anything you need. Can I get you some coffee or tea or perhaps some champagne?” Cara and I exchanged a look.
“Champagne, if you have it.” Why not? Made the day more festive.
“You’ve got it,” Maeve said and headed over to a corner where she had a little drink station set up with a coffeemaker, kettle, and an iced bucket with several mini bottles of champagne. Wow, classy.
She popped one of the bottles, filled two glasses, and brought them back over.
Cara was comical as she tried to sip the champagne and keep the glass away from the dress.
“I’m guessing if you spill on it, you buy it,” she said.
“We’re not that mean here,” Maeve said, laughing. “I know how to get pretty much any kind of stain out of a wedding dress. Occupational hazard.” She smiled and there was a dimple in one of her cheeks. I felt my own cheeks flush a little. She was hot, that was for sure, and she had the effortless confidence of someone who knew exactly who she was and who she wanted to be. I definitely didn’t have that, but I wished I could ask Maeve what her secret was and then copy everything she did. Maybe it was the leather?
“Okay, well, let’s go ahead and get you in another dress,” Chloe said, and Cara handed me her champagne glass.
“Let me know if you need anything else, we’re here to help you with whatever you need,” Maeve said, touching my shoulder and then moving on to the large group beside me. They were still hemming and hawing, this time about how the bride was going to do her hair and if she was going to wear a garter. I seriously wanted to swoop in and rescue the poor girl. She looked young and lost.
Maeve seemed to assess the situation and swept immediately up to the trembling bride and put her arm around her shoulder and said something in her ear. The bride nodded and Maeve announced that she was taking the bride for a veil consultation in the back and that everyone was going to have to wait. I watched as she tucked the girl under her arm and pulled her away from her family. Brilliant. The poor girl’s voice was drowned out over all those opinions and she needed someone in her corner. I hoped Maeve would be able to help her speak up for herself. It was her damn wedding, after all.
I turned my attention back to Cara as she came out in the next dress. It was all over lace with a nude underlay and was pretty, but it didn’t grab me the way the first dress did.
“Out of ten,” Cara asked as she turned back and forth in the mirror.
“Seven?” I said. “It doesn’t have the wow factor of the first one.” Cara nodded decisively.
“You’re right. Okay, next dress.”
Cara must have tried on at least six more dresses before realizing that nothing could top the first one.
“There’s just one thing I want before I say yes to that dress,” she said with a sly grin on her face.
“And what’s that?” I asked.
“For you to try one on.” I blinked at her.
“Me?”
“Yup, you.” She pointed at me and then crooked her finger. “Come on, humor me.” Cara hopped down the stairs and flopped onto the couch, still wearing the last dress she’d tried on. It was a floaty bohemian thing that wouldn’t be out of place at a painfully hipster wedding where the groom had a beard and the colors were navy, pink, and wood grain.
“Uhhh,” I said, looking at Chloe, who was smiling.
“Come on,” she said, gesturing at the racks. “Choose one.”
I should have spent the time I’d been waiting for Cara to come out in each dress looking for my own, instead of watching all of the little dramas around me. I’d been more interested in the people than the dresses.
“Okay,” I said, but knew it was going to take me a long time to actually pick something.
“Come with me,” Chloe said, heading down the stairs to the opposite corner of the shop. “I have something I think you might like.”
I trailed after her and watched as she pulled two items off a rack.
“What do you think about separates?”
I looked at the two pieces she’d pulled. One was a tulle skirt that was high in the front and long in the back and fluffed out just a little bit. The top was a white tank with lace over it that formed long sleeves.
“Oh,” I said. For a second, I was going to say “no way, put it back,” but the longer I looked at it, the more I thought it would work.
“You like?” Chloe said, raising her eyebrows in expectation.
“I do,” I said. “I’ll try it on.” Chloe grinned and marched me back to the dressing room that Cara had used.
“Hurry upppp,” Cara said. “The suspense is killing me.” She crossed her arms and looked so grumpy that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’ve been waiting for you for hours, get a grip.” She wrinkled her nose at me and Chloe shoved me in the dressing room. It was large and had a curtain separating two spaces. The larger space behind the curtain had a bench and hooks on the walls. Cara’s street clothes were folded and set on the bench. There wasn’t a mirror in here. I gave Chloe a look.
“We like to have the big reveal outside of the room. You can’t tell much in the small space. It’s too cramped and the lighting isn’t the best.” I wasn’t sure I liked that. I didn’t want to go out in something that didn’t look good.
“We also have some sample undergarments you can put over what you already have if you want.” I was wearing a black bra and undies, so I asked for a slip for the tulle skirt, but the white part of the top was going to cover my bra. It dipped in the back and had buttons all the way down, but not low enough to reveal the band of my bra. Someone had been conscious of being able to wear a bra with straps had designed this. I appreciated that.
“Oh, how much is this?” I asked as I stripped off my t-shirt. I wasn’t modest, so Chloe helped me carefully get the lace sleeves over my arm and buttoned the back for me.
“Well, it just so happens this is a discontinued design, so both pieces are half off.” I turned and looked at her over my shoulder.
“Half off of what?” She finished the buttons and glanced at the tag hanging from one sleeve and then the tag on the skirt.
“So it would be around four hundred for both pieces.” I almost choked. I had no idea how much wedding outfits cost. If two simple pieces were this much ON SALE, how much was Cara’s dress going to be? I had a moment of panic and had to remind myself that it didn’t matter how much they were. I had thousands coming to me soon. Right. I didn’t have to buy generic toothpaste anymore. I could get the expensive kind that helped with tooth pain. Speaking of that, I should go and visit a dentist. It had been a while.
I slammed the brakes on that little momentary anxiety attack and slipped out of my jeans and shoes. Chloe helped me step into the slip and then pull the skirt up and get it so it fit right.
“I’m a genius,” Chloe whispered. “I should win awards. Just wait ‘til you see it.” Not that I didn’t trust her, but there was one person’s opinion on this outfit that I needed, and she was sitting out there waiting for me.
I was getting nervous again. Like this mattered. I was just trying this on, like a costume. That’s all this was. A costume. A frilly, lacy costume.
“Come onnnnn,” I heard Cara whining.
“She’s coming out,” Chloe said, sticking her head out and then holding the door for me.
I locked eyes with Cara and she froze, a smile on her face. She sat up slowly, her hand going to her mouth.
I desperately wanted to look in the mirror, but I couldn’t stop looking at her.
“Once again, I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that she likes it. Correct me if I’m wrong,” Chloe said, but I ignored her. All I could see was Cara.
“Do you like it?” It was my turn to be uncertain.
Cara got up from the couch, walked up the steps and put her hands on my shoulders.
“Turn around and look at yourself,” she said in a quiet voice.
“I can’t,” I said, laughing a little under my breath.
“It’s okay,” she said, stepping close to me. “You can look.” She pushed at one of my shoulders, so I took a step back and then continued until I did a 180 degree turn. Cara rested her chin on my shoulder.
“You’re gorgeous, Lo. So fucking gorgeous.”
She was right. The two pieces were... perfect. Utterly perfect. I couldn’t have imagined anything better, or more me. It wasn’t something I would have picked, but it was completely me.
“Would you like to see them together?” Chloe said. I took my eyes off myself and Cara and remembered that she was there and were in a bridal shop with a bunch of other people. We weren’t the only two people in the entire world.
“Come on, Cara, let’s get your dress on and you can see how they look together.” I didn’t want her to leave me, but she squeezed my shoulders and followed Chloe back into the changing room to put her dress on. After what felt like an eternity, she came out and I lost my breath again.
“You’re like two cake toppers. I can’t even deal,” Chloe said, stepping back and examining us as Cara stepped beside me and took my hand.
“Look at us,” she said. “Look at us together.”
“I know,” I said.