Nabvan was trying to make sure Alexis had a good time. Both of their lives had taken a sad turn of events since they met each other, but he could not blame her for that. In fact, the more he got to know her, the angrier he found himself with his king. He was still too afraid to voice such a thing, and that was for the sake of himself but also for her. She had already suffered so much, and he was not about to be the reason she suffered even more. Because as much as the king would threaten to kill her, he needed her too much. No, he would not kill her. He would only make her wish she were dead.

Nabvan had been keeping in touch with everyone he could as he allowed her to roam the halls and tour the inner city as much as he was able to get away with. King Shene had not been interested in seeing her. He had said so the day after they arrived on the planet. He had been entertaining himself with a couple of his other women and thinking of what to do to get Alexis to mate with him. Nabvan did not know if she ever would, but he had mentioned that maybe the king should do what she asked and woo her. It was an unpopular suggestion, but the king would be desperate enough the more she refused. He hated that he was giving the king advice behind her back, but the king’s pursuit would not end. The best thing Nabvan could do for Alexis was to find a way to keep her safe and content.

“How do you get anything done out there with all the darkness?” Alexis asked, leaning against the window and looking out at the dark afternoon of Milisaria. She had described the light on Earth to him, and the thought sounded blinding.

“Well, the other side of Milisaria is the closest to all the moons. They receive quite a bit of light and are able to grow most of the plants and food we need. As far as seeing things, our eyes are made to see in this. The light kind of hurts. We have gotten used to some artificial light, but sunlight, I would imagine, is still difficult even for those that visit Earth often,” he explained.

“So, you’ve never been to Earth, then?” Alexis asked, turning around so that she was facing him. He could read the curiosity in her eyes, and he loved it. That is where she got her knack for science, from that unabashed lust for answers about everything. She wanted to know it all, and Nabvan thought with the way she studied things that she would one day get all of those answers.

“No, I have not. I am lucky to have gotten to command this ship and to train our young knights. I am considered very young for any such honor. The men who negotiate for us on Earth are twice my age,” he explained, shifting to stand next to her. Her presence was intoxicating, and he felt a high when he was so close to her. He did not dare do anything more than stand there, but any hit he could get was good. He did not know how long he would get the privilege. If the king impregnated her, he was not sure he would be needed any longer. The king might actually begin to take an interest in her and make her queen. Many of the subjects on the surface were calling for him to name one. He would surely choose whoever produced the strongest heir.

Nabvan found himself strangely wondering about what the child would look like: if it would have King Shene’s dark and hard features or her blue eyes and blonde hair.

“How old are you then?” she asked, the next logical question. He had expected it. The lifespan of the Milisarians was not the same as humans. They often lived slightly longer unless they did too much traveling in space. Sometimes, that could knock down a lifespan by twenty years or more.

“I am thirty-two,” he answered. “We live to be around one hundred and ten or so unless we are in space too much. Then, we live to be around ninety or one hundred. Milisarians are not plagued by many diseases. Though, there are a few among the poorer villagers. The only tragic death there for us is war, but that is an honor.” Nabvan knew he sounded bitter about it. Maybe he was a horrible Milisarian knight in theory. But he was good at his job, and loved it. What else could he hope for?

“Considering you call yourself knights, I kind of figured that,” she told him with a half-smile as she looked down at her toes. Then, she flipped back around to look outside. “Do you think one day I will be allowed out there? I have always wanted to get close to those green oceans. Do you swim in them?”

Nabvan looked out the window with her and smiled. He remembered his childhood and how he would love to splash in the warm waters of the ocean where he lived. It was a luxury only a poor child had. When he was chosen to be a knight, it was a great day, but that did not mean he didn’t miss some of the freedoms he had before.

“Maybe, but I doubt you will be allowed to do anything fun. Visits to the outer villages are diplomatic in nature. The poor do swim in the oceans. It is one of the only pastimes they have. Knights do not. We have more important things to attend to. Though, I look forward to retiring back out into the village. I rather liked it there.” Nabvan smiled at the thought but then remembered that Alexis would not be there for this. She could not share in his happiness. She might not even be alive then depending on how Milisaria was on her body. Humans did not always live so long on other planets. If only he could take her with him and enjoy those oceans as if they were just two children with no worries on their shoulders.

“This reminds me of a poem,” she said with a sigh before walking ahead of Nabvan, heading in the direction of her room. “On Earth, a long time ago, there was this famous woman poet who said she knew why the caged bird sings.” Nabvan thought about the sadness in that. They did not have birds on Milisaria, but he knew what they were. Humans kept them in cages as pets, along with many other animals, for their entertainment. What a half-life they were living. But now he understood what she meant. Alexis meant she was only living that half-life too, and she would sing for hope that would never come.

Nabvan continued to follow her into the room and shut the door behind them, locking it. It was as close to privacy as she got, and he could tell Alexis needed that comfort. “I think I’ll shower before we eat,” she told him, heading straight for the washroom. She did not bother shutting the door. The only barrier between them would be the thin film that pulled shut over the shower that turned her body into a bit of a shadow. It didn’t really make a difference since he had seen her body so many times now. He had been the one cleaning her while she could not do it herself. He had been so shy and modest about it in the beginning, but now he did not even try to hide the fact that his eyes followed her into the washroom, watching her back as she stripped off the bodysuit she had on.

Everything had been upgraded for her since landing on Milisaria, including the clothing, and she had bodysuits in every color that fit her frame perfectly, leaving only the dimples to the imagination. He looked over her pink curves with a desire that he was unsure if he could control any longer. The cruelty of placing him as a keeper of a beautiful woman that did not belong to him was not lost on him. Perhaps this was some sort of test of loyalty to the king. If it continued much longer, he would surely fail.

After dropping the body suit to the ground, she turned to the side to step into the shower. Alexis’s eyes met his for just a moment, and he could tell she could see the longing in them no matter how he tried to shut down and hide it. “Would you like to join me?” It came out of her mouth so quietly, he was almost forced to read her lips. It could have easily been a figment of his imagination, but the way she slowly slinked behind the film of the shower, still looking out at him, he knew she must have meant it.

He could have stayed standing right where he was, wanting something he could never have. He would have been able to say that he had not broken any major rule when it came to the king’s mate. But he thought that he was going to burn alive if he didn’t have one taste: one taste before he let her go forever.

So, he followed her into the washroom with determined footsteps, dropping his leather armor and his pants, revealing his pale, muscular body. He had one moment of feeling self-conscious. He had never let a woman see so much of him: not even a Milisarian one. What would she think of him? But then again, he knew Alexis. He felt he had seen everything of hers, and he could not imagine her rejecting him over the physical, even if it did not immediately appeal to her.

He practically ripped open the film between them, startling her for a moment as he climbed in. Nabvan watched as her eyes raked over him, and her cheeks turned a red with the blood that rushed to them. He knew there was nothing wrong with his body to her now, and he felt himself growing with his arousal. But he could not let it go that far. It was just a shower; just a single connection to hold him over until his death. Then, surely, the heaven for the knights would hold her image for him to do with what he wished.

He looked over her with the eyes of a man who looked at the woman he wished would be his mate. Milisarians mated for life, and that was so ingrained in him. It was another reason he did not dare to go too far with this beautiful creature. She would surely be the death of any love he could have for someone if he mated with her. He would never find another. He was not like King Shene, having pleasure with so many at once.

Alexis relaxed her body and took the two steps to close the distance between them so slowly, it seemed like she kept being pulled backward. Then, she looked at him as if waiting for him to protest as she placed her arm around his neck, standing on the tips of her toes to try and reach his face.

He looked down at her and felt a feral beast inside of him fighting to come out and take over his body. He needed to keep control, but he had to feed it something.

So, he brought her body violently into his, spinning them around so that she was the one with her back to the wall. He pulled her hands above her head, holding them there and forcing her to stay on the tips of her toes. He held her gaze for a moment before crushing his lips against hers, his body pressing up against hers so that their heat transferred to one another involuntarily. He could have stayed in that kiss for the rest of his life and been happy.

Nabvan could tell from the way she melted into him as he reached around to pull in her lower back, that she had been feeling the same way about him: feelings and desires locked up for the sake of their safety and sanity. In fact, he could feel a small piece of his psyche floating away with each second they maintained the kiss.

With the water pouring down on them relentlessly, he finally tore himself away, feeling that he had left a piece of himself with her. “I just had to know one time what that would feel like,” he told her breathlessly, water dripping from his eyelids down her succulent chest.

“You really think we can keep from doing that again?” Alexis asked, looking like she might be in some kind of pain. He could understand that because he felt just the same way about it. The thought of never having her made him sick.

“We have to. It would be wrong for me to mate with you and then with another later on. It could also get the both of us in more trouble than we could handle, Alexis. The punishment for treason is worse than death; at least it would be for you. I would be killed in the most painful way possible, and you would be tortured as a prisoner the rest of your life.” Nabvan had little conviction in what he said because he felt he was already burning alive.

“We could keep it a secret until we find a way to get out of here,” she suggested, looking up at him with those eyes that made his heart beat fast. In an ideal world, he would take her up on that offer. But he was a Milisarian. There was nowhere else for him to exist. He was not employable enough on another planet.

“Why would I ever leave here, Alexis?” he asked, sadly. “Where would we go?”

“It doesn’t matter. We would find a way. Plenty of places would accept us. And as far as why would we leave, do you not care about the way these women are being treated? You aren’t like them.”

Nabvan glared at her, feeling hurt by what she had said. He was a strong Milisarian knight, and he should be proud of it. Not all of them were horrible men, and even some of the ones who were knew nothing else. He stepped out of the shower angrily and walked away. He was not going to be leaving Milisaria with her. It was where he belonged. And if he took her away with him to the villages, they would be captured. No, they would never be together. He would have to let it go, and so would she.