Chapter Twelve

 

I raised my hand and grabbed the door knocker, rapping it lightly. If anyone was sleeping, I didn’t want to wake them up. Footsteps hurried toward the door and I smiled up at Shep, as he held a bag in one hand and my elbow in his other. The door opened and Mrs. Violet stood before us, dressed down in a wind suit and tennis shoes, something I had never seen before.

“Oh, hello, dear,” she said surprised. “Good morning, Shepard. What on earth are you both doing here?”

I held out the wrapped to-go container in my hand. “We brought you lunch.”

She accepted the box slowly while Shep held up the bag. “Meatloaf with mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, and pie.”

“My goodness! Well, I dare say I just asked Alan what to make for lunch and he didn’t have any ideas. This will do wonderfully. Will you join us?”

When I called Mrs. Violet this morning to invite her to come with me to see Lucille, she told me Alan was having a bad day and she couldn’t leave him home alone, so she wouldn’t be able to go. I had other plans.

“Sorry, Mrs. Violet, there’s only enough for Shep and Alan,” I said, hooking my arm in hers. “You and I are going out for lunch and then to see Lucille.”

Her feet faltered and I held her up so she didn’t fall. “Whatever are you talking about, Ivy? I can’t leave poor Shep here alone with Alan.” She leaned in close to my ear. “He’s being a real pain today. It’s bad enough I have to be here.”

I patted her hand on my arm and grinned. “Guys are guys, you know. They like to complain about women, watch football, and eat meatloaf. They’ll be fine, and besides, Shep knows a thing or two about lungs and how to keep them working. Alan will be fine without you for a few hours.”

“Oh, dear,” she said, her fingers fidgeting with the necklace at her throat. “I can’t possibly wear this out anywhere,” she said, staring down at her shoes.

“Go ahead and change your clothes. I’ll help Shep with the food and get the guys situated,” I encouraged, letting go of her arm.

“Okay, well, if you think so, but we have to come right home if there’s a problem,” she fretted.

Shep stepped up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. “There won’t be a problem, but if there is I’ll text Ivy immediately and she will bring you right home,” he promised.

She grabbed my arm and grinned. “Okay, give me five minutes,” she said excitedly, trotting into the bedroom to change.

I turned to Shep and laughed quietly, shaking my head. “I think he’s driving her nuts,” I whispered. “Let’s find Alan.”

We followed the sound of the TV and found him in a recliner, watching the pregame show on ESPN. He let the chair up when he saw us enter the room, but didn’t stand. He was tethered to the chair with a nasal cannula tube.

I waved. “Hi, Alan, happy Sunday,” I said, enjoying the expression on his face. He was certainly confused. “I brought you lunch, pie, and male company. I thought maybe you’d like some guy time,” I explained, motioning to Shep.

“Hi, Ivy. Hi, Shep,” he said, speaking obviously difficult for him today. “Where’s Audrey?”

“She’s changing her clothes. I’m going to take her to lunch and then to see Lucille. I promise not to keep her longer than two hours,” I said, crossing my heart.

He snorted. “Girl, you can keep her for as long as you want,” he quipped, shaking his head.

Shep tried to hide his laugher behind his hand and I winked at Alan. “We won’t hurry home. Shep is looking forward to the game, and you know how much I hate football,” I said, sticking my tongue out and pointing my thumb down. “I brought lunch; are you hungry?”

He rubbed his hands together. “Pot roast?”

“Meatloaf,” Shep jumped in, “with taters and gravy.”

I held up my finger. “And, a side of pot roast because I know it’s your favorite,” I said, laughing when he did a fist pump.

“Heck yeah, I’m hungry then,” he grinned, trying to stand.

Shep held his hand out to stop him. “Keep the chair warm. Ivy and I will get the food and bring it in. Do you want green beans too?”

Alan made a face, but gave a resigned sigh. “No, but you better put them on the plate until Audrey leaves.”

I laughed and patted Shep on the shoulder. “Leave this to me. I’ll bring the food in once I’ve got it hot. Get comfortable and ready for the game.”

I left the room as they started a discussion about the Packers versus the Vikings and found my way to the kitchen. With any luck, today was going to be good for all of us.

 

 

Mrs. Violet and I left the diner after stuffing ourselves on lasagna, garlic bread, and giant slices of fresh peach pie. We decided to walk to Lucille’s facility since the sun was finally shining and we needed fresh air after a huge lunch.

“Mason makes a mean lasagna,” Mrs. Violet said as we strolled down Main Street. “Whoever marries that boy is going to be set for life.”

I grinned when I answered. “He’s amazing, which is why I’m shocked he stays at the diner. He could work anywhere.”

She patted my shoulder. “He stays because he’s happy, dear. He gets to do what he loves in a setting he loves. Sure, maybe he could get paid more somewhere else, but he won’t find the customers, co-workers, and underlying community values he gets here in Bells Pass. There’s something to be said for community and morals.”

“I agree, Mrs. Violet,” I said, and she laid her hand on my arm.

“Audrey, please, dear. Mrs. Violet makes me sound so old.”

I laughed and shoulder bumped her gently. “I agree, Audrey. I can’t judge him for staying for the same reasons I do. I wouldn’t make it out there in the big, big world. The people of Bells Pass got me through some hard times and the work I do at the diner makes me feel like I’m paying them back one happy memory at a time.”

She gazed off down the street. “You have a unique way of looking at the world, Ivy. Your mother used to be the same way. I was her teacher when she was a senior in high school.”

“Wait, what? You taught my mom?” I asked surprised.

She nodded, her shoulders straight and her back stiff. “Once upon a time I had a career. I’ve been retired for years, but I used to teach high school work skills.”

I shook my head. “I knew you were a teacher, but I never knew what you taught. What was high school work skills? They didn’t have a class like that when I was in school.”

“I suppose not, but you weren’t involved in the special education department, right?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Was my mother?”

She pointed at a bench on the sidewalk and we sat, staring out over the end of Main Street. Some businesses had already gone all out with their Christmas decorations and some were just getting started, but soon the whole street would be a festive display of lights.

“Your mother wasn’t necessarily in need of special education the way you think of it. She was a seventeen-year-old, single, pregnant girl who had no skills for working after high school. She was offered the class and took it, hoping she would find a place to work once she gave birth to you. She didn’t want to, but she did it begrudgingly.”

I choked on the laughter building in my throat. “I’m sure she felt the same way about me, begrudging.”

She patted my hand which lay on my lap. “Your mother was a scared teenager with no family. Whoever your father was, he wasn’t part of the picture and she was doing it alone. I convinced her not to have an abortion when she first found out she was pregnant, and encouraged her to put you up for adoption.”

“But she didn’t,” I said, resignation in my voice. “She kept me.”

“I couldn’t fault her for keeping you. She had reasons and one of those was probably much the same as the reason you stay here as part of this town. Family. She didn’t have anyone either. All I could do was my best to prepare her for the world after high school. She was smart as a whip, but learned in different ways than most kids do. She needed skills she could use in the workplace.”

“And then you got her a job at Nightingale Diner?” I asked, unsure if she helped with job placement.

“She got the job herself. I taught her how to write a resume and proper interview etiquette. She liked working there because Lucille had a little closet she cleaned out and put in a crib, toys, and books. When your mom worked, Lucille kept an eye on you at the restaurant. Your mom couldn’t afford daycare, so the arrangement allowed her to keep you with her and earn a living. She did work hard, Ivy, even if she made mistakes as a mother. She tried, at least in the beginning.”

I didn’t make eye contact instead staring off down the street. “I was too young to remember, I guess. The first job I vividly remember her having was her street job. She used to leave me in the apartment with food, the TV, and the neighbor’s phone number all night while she walked the streets. I was six or seven, but I stayed home alone. Thinking about it, I always wondered why Child Protective Services never took me away.”

Audrey shrugged. “Different time, Ivy. You had clothes, food, and she didn’t beat you. She was doing the best she could, so no one was going to call and report her. They all decided to take care of you instead.”

“I remember the neighbors always inviting me for dinner or taking me to school events. They’re probably the reason I stayed in Bells Pass; they gave me the sense of family, not my mother.”

“And Shepard,” she said, her tone obvious as she stared at me.

I nodded. “And Shepard. His family was my rock, especially when they found Mom dead on the street Halloween night. At least I was old enough by then to survive without a parent.”

“You had a whole town of parents, honey. Lucille was the one to mobilize the community after we heard your mom was killed. No child should have to go through what you did, but you did it with grace and aplomb. It’s why everyone was cheering last night when Mayor Tottle introduced you. We’ve watched you grow up and become the wonderful young lady you are. We’re a small, tight-knit community, and we look out for our own.”

I nodded my agreement. “With maturity, I can see how many people were involved in keeping me on the right path after she died. I was angry with her for being a hooker, and found it hard to keep my head held high when her death was plastered across the newspaper’s front page. Embarrassment, sadness, anger, and disgust churned in my gut. If she had stayed working for Lucille all those years ago she might be here today. She led a lifestyle not suitable for a mother and it wasn’t as if she was doing it for me. She barely paid the rent and bought food. She wasn’t saving for college or sending me to camp. She was snorting her earnings and pretending I didn’t exist in her world. When she came home to the apartment it was to clean up and sleep for a few hours. She had no interaction with me from the time I was eight-years-old. Thank God, I had Shep and his family. His mom was the one who taught me about taking care of myself. She was the one I ran to when I got my first period and didn’t know what to do. Carol was the one who made sure I got to school on time during elementary school and who took me shopping for a prom dress when my mother was already dead. She and Lucille were better mothers to me than my own. I can forgive her, but I can’t forget, Audrey.”

She rested her hand on my shoulder. “Maybe it is time to forget, Ivy, so you can move on with life.”

I swung my head back and forth. “You don’t understand. Remembering who my mother was is what drives me to be something better. I watched her descent into hell and it taught me to value education, value my body, and value myself. I’ve spent years working a low-income job and putting myself through school so I could have a better life. I was able to get up every morning because I remembered the awfulness of my childhood. There’s nothing more motivating than wanting a better life than you’ve had thus far. The anger, disgust, horror, and memories have faded, but the image of her spread out on the street, blood covering her body in macabre patterns of beauty will never fade. I don’t want a snapshot of one moment in time to define who I am.”

“I don’t think there’s any worry, Ivy. What you’re doing today is proof in the pudding. Don’t think I’m fooled for a moment by your ways.”

I swiveled toward her on the bench. “What ways?”

She tisked her tongue at me and smiled. “I may be retired, but I’m still a teacher. I can see what you’re doing here. You heard my voice this morning and decided I needed a break. You took the time to make sure Alan would be safe and then whisked me away for a little R&R. I’m relatively sure there are hundreds of things you could be doing besides sitting here on a bench with an old busybody, no less spending hours with me.”

I shook my head at the woman and squeezed her hand. “You’re going through a hard time right now, Audrey. I can’t do a lot to help, but if a simple meal, a nice chat, and a few hours away rejuvenates you, then I want to be there for you. I know your kids are busy and they do the best they can, but they have family commitments and kids to worry about. I’ve enjoyed our time together and I hope we can do it again soon. You’re a wonderful lady, Audrey, and I wish more people could see everything you do for the community as a mission of love, not interference.”

She blushed and swiped away a tear. “Your words mean a great deal to me, Ivy. I know I come off as standoffish and bossy most of the time. I guess it’s the teacher in me working effectively to get a job done. I don’t know any other way to accomplish my goal. After Alan got hurt, I was running on fumes trying to keep up with my commitments and take care of him.”

“In the process, you forgot to take care of you.”

I rubbed her shoulder while she nodded, staring at her hands in her lap. “I haven’t slept in months. I doze on and off between checking on Alan to make sure he’s still breathing and not in trouble. It’s exhausting, but you do those things for the people you love. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I’m lucky he survived the accident and is still here to drive me crazy. I don’t know what I would do without him, so a few months of no sleep is a small price to pay compared to what he’s gone through.”

I cocked my head to the right, an idea forming. “Would it be alright if I talked to a couple friends of mine about getting you some help with Alan? Would it help if you had someone to stay with him a few nights a week so you could sleep?”

She nodded, her chin trembling. “It sure would, but I can’t afford to pay. Our settlement hasn’t come through and we’re living off our savings. I’m hoping after the New Year he’s well enough to stay home alone so I can start substitute teaching for some extra cash.”

I shook my head and stood, helping her up by her hand and putting my arm around her shoulders as we started our walk again. “The people I know have already asked if there is anything they can do. With your permission I’ll speak to them about your needs and have them contact you? I want you to enjoy this holiday season and the only way it’s going to happen is for you to sleep.”

“Sleep would be heaven sent. I sure appreciate the thought, Ivy. Even if it doesn’t work out, I know you care enough to try.”

I patted her on the back as I pulled the door open to the facility and let her go in before me. I tugged my gloves off one at a time and stuffed them in my coat pockets. “It will work out. I’ll have it all figured out in a couple days.”

“Mrs. Violet!” Polly exclaimed from behind the nurses’ station. She lumbered around the desk and hugged Audrey the best she could with her belly in the way. “It’s so nice to see you. I hope Alan is doing better.”

Audrey seemed surprised by the display of emotion, but she wore a smile on her face when she spoke. “He has his good days and his bad days, but he’s here with us, which is all that matters. He’s with Shep right now and they’re watching football. Ivy whisked me away for some lunch and a visit with Lucille.”

Polly clapped her hands excitedly near her mouth. “I’m thrilled you’re both here. I was going to give you another hour and then call you.”

“Why, did something happen to Lucille?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

She shook her head and grinned. “No, no, she’s fine. Better than fine, actually. It was important you showed up, that’s all.”

“Of course I did. I promised her I would. Can we go see her?” I asked, confused by Polly’s demeanor. Maybe the pregnancy was affecting her brain already.

“Head to her room, there’s a surprise waiting for you. Don’t stay long, you know how she tires,” she said gleefully.

“We won’t, thanks, Polly,” I said, leading Audrey forward toward her room.

“Hey, Ivy,” Polly called and I spun around. “Tell Shep congratulations from me. He deserves the job. I know he’s going to be great.”

“I’ll tell him,” I promised. “He’s excited to jump in and get control of things.”

Audrey and I finished the short walk to Lucille’s door, which was cracked open again. I rested my hand on the handle and whispered to her. “She sleeps most of the time, but I talk to her as if she’s awake. She can’t move her right side, but you can hold her left hand.”

“Got it,” Audrey said and I pushed the door open the rest of the way. The room was bright, the sun streaming through the windows as it reflected off the newly fallen snow. My feet faltered when we approached her bed.

“Lucille,” I said, excitement filling me. “You’re sitting up!” I hurried the rest of the way to her bed and hugged her gently.

Her eyes were trained on me, and she tried to speak. “Aiting.”

I paused and it hit me. “You were waiting for me?” I asked and her head bobbed a hair.

Audrey was standing on the other side of the bed and reached over, taking Lucille’s left hand and squeezing it. “Hi, Lucille. I’ve missed you at our meetings. I wanted to come by sooner, but…”

She paused and her eyes searched mine. I pulled up a chair by the bed and sat. “She’s been taking care of Alan, Lucille. He was hurt at work and needs someone to stay with him while he recovers.”

Lucille’s eyes flicked back and forth in distress. Audrey held her hand and rubbed her thumb over the top of it. “He’ll be okay, Lucille, don’t fret. Shepard is staying with him today so I could get out for a bit. Ivy said she was coming to see you and I wanted to join her.”

“Ice,” she said, only one side of her lips moving. “Appy.”

“You want ice?” I asked, and then it struck me. “Oh, nice and you’re happy?”

She blinked her eyes once, the universal sign for yes. “Good, I’m happy to see you alert and sitting up. You’re not giving up, are you?”

She blinked her eyes twice and Audrey and I grinned. “No,” Audrey said. “No, she’s not.”

We spent the next fifteen minutes catching her up on the goings on around town and the winter carnival.

“I served four hundred cups of coffee and three hundred cups of hot cocoa. The park was packed and everyone was having a great time. They had fire pits this year in the parking lot where kids could roast hot dogs and marshmallows. They put the drink trailer near the fires, so parents could get coffee while their kids had a snack. It worked out wonderfully and I hope they do it again next year.”

Audrey’s head bounced up and down. “I took Lewis while my son-in-law stayed with Alan. He loved the fire pits and Ivy’s hot cocoa. I think he drank ten of those three hundred cups.”

Lucille tried to smile, but only one side of her lips went up a hair. I rubbed my finger down her cheek for a second and she sighed. Clearly, she was desperate for interaction and love.

“You’ll never guess what happened at the tree lighting ceremony,” Audrey said. “Mayor Tottle announced Shepard Lund as the new Public Works Director.”

Lucille lifted her left hand and shook it slightly, a look of victory in her eyes. I chuckled and took her left hand again. “He interviewed for the job early last week. He didn’t think he’d get it, but I knew he would. They would be crazy not to hire him, even though he’s young. He’ll spend his entire career here if he does a good job and keeps the city council happy. He’s devoted to the community and the residents, so I’m not worried.”

The smile on my face was ridiculously large, I could tell, but I couldn’t make it go away when I talked about or saw him. Last night we had fallen asleep on his bed, my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around my shoulder. He had to sleep upright, his lungs misbehaving from the cold night we spent outdoors, the smoky air, and likely from the emotions of the night. Waking up in his arms had been comforting and exciting, loving and honest. He was already awake, staring down at me as I slept. I could see in his eyes the love he has for me, but I could also see his concerns and fear that reflected my own. We were in a strange place and I had no idea how to get out of it. All I knew was he whispered he loved me in the dark of the bedroom when the world was still asleep and I was safe in his arms.

“I love him,” I whispered. “I don’t know what to do about it, but I love him.”

I glanced up, startled when I realized I said it aloud. Audrey was grinning at me while Lucille had a sparkle in her eye.

“It’s about damn time,” Audrey said, doing a fist pump in the air.

Lucille blinked once and squeezed my hand. “Inaly,” she forced out. “e’s urs.”

Audrey giggled and it took me aback. I didn’t know she giggled. “Finally, is for sure. He is yours, Ivy. He’s been yours since you were five and playing hopscotch in the schoolyard. If you follow your heart instead of your brain you’ll know what to do.”

“You’re right, but it scares the hell out of me. I can’t lose him if whatever this is between us fizzles out and dies. What if we’re both just in a place where we’re lonely and need companionship.”

Lucille rolled her left eye and Audrey groaned. “Oh, puhlease,” she quipped. “You’d have to be blind not to see what’s going on in that boy’s head when he looks at you. Last night after he accepted the position, none of us heard a thing Mayor Tottle said. We were too transfixed watching Shep hug you and swing you around. He had in his arms the person he wanted to share every single moment of his life with and it showed. When you were lighting the tree together it was magical, but his eyes weren’t on the tree, they were on you.”

I glanced between the two women and bit my lower lip. “We kissed in the gazebo after everyone was gone. It was the first time,” I whispered.

Audrey let out a soft whoop and Lucile did another fist shake.

“I ran away and then he had an asthma attack,” I admitted. “I think I scared him. I feel terrible about it. So, you see what I mean about it being complicated.”

Lucille’s lips pursed slightly, though she concentrated hard on the motion. “Ive im ance,” she forced out. “ewe eed im.”

I glanced between the two women and saw in their eyes the truth of the matter. He is mine, I do need him, and I should give him a chance. If I did, maybe we could be friends and lovers.