MARISSA
“I can’t believe Kam said he’d hire you at the end of the month and full time!’’ Sophie squealed again, her smile so big it warmed my battered heart.
It’s been over a week since Paul was born and Kam had told me the very next day about the end of my apprenticeship and the good news that came with it. I was lucky and a mix of happiness and excitement with a dash of sadness at seeing my dream fulfilled. That was the downside to a broken heart. Everything was tainted in dark colors, dulling the brightness of the picture.
“I know. I didn’t think it’d ever happen,’’ I said in a chuckle while working on a sketch of a punk version of Tinker Bell for a guy in a local band that stopped by the previous day. Kam wanted me to work on the design and if the client liked it, work on the tattoo myself with Kam at my shoulder, but he wouldn’t say a single thing.
I brought the drawing pad closer to my face and squinted at a shading area. I rolled the chair from the office closer to Sophie’s desk as she clicked away on the computer, probably double-checking appointments. She was a bit OCD sometimes, but that’s why she was so valuable, as much as for her talent piercing people, as for keeping most of the paperwork and appointments in top order. I knew Kam was glad that Sophie was so diligent in her work, which left him more time to do what he loved best; tattooing.
“We haven’t celebr—‘’ she began but stopped when the front door opened and someone walked in. I looked up from my sketch and widened my eyes when I saw Denny Burton, his eyes taking in all that made InkSpired with one sweeping glance before he focused on me and offered me a tight smile as he walked to me. Right before he made it to the front desk, Sophie elbowed me and whispered in my ear. “Who’s that?’’
I wasn’t surprised she asked me. Danny Burton didn’t look like someone here for a tatt or a piercing. Not just because his bare arms were virgin canvas, but because at one glance he didn’t give the vibes of someone coming for body decorations. He was too tense I guess.
“Lydia’s husband.’’
“Oh,’’ she whispered back, and it made me smile when I stared at my best friend and how she didn’t appear one bit the kind of person who would work at such a place, or someone with piercings and who pierced. I knew for a fact that her list of clients here for Prince Albert kept growing. She saw more cocks than me but had never been with a man with so much as a single tattoo or with a piercing other than in the ear.
“Good afternoon,’’ Danny said with a strained smile for Sophie and me before his attention focused solely on me. With that stern look, unwavering and that stoic façade, it was easy to see the cop he was when he interrogated a suspect or whoever he had to interrogate.
My stomach twisted as I greeted him with a subdued voice. He was a good man, and he had welcomed me warmly when I met Lydia, but somehow, I knew that if he was here, it couldn’t be good. I had been in contact with Lydia and Ava with a few texts here and there and two phone calls that were brief mostly because I didn’t want to hear about Wyatt or be too tempted to ask about him.
“What brings you here?’’ I asked then and put my drawing pad on the desk along with the pencil and eraser.
“Could we talk privately? I promise I won’t keep you away more than five minutes.’’
I blinked at him and the worry that weighted down my stomach and made my heart beat harder in my chest, intensified. “Let’s go outside. Sophie is about to get a client to the office out back.’’
He nodded and with a nod for Sophie, he turned back around and walked out. He looked nothing like the laid back man I had met a few weeks ago. He seemed eaten by tension.
“What’s wrong?’’ Sophie asked, but she knew as much as I did. I shrugged and left to join Danny in front of InkSpired. When the door closed behind me, he stopped pacing and stared intently at me.
“I’m sorry to barge in on your place of work, but I have a question, and I need you to answer me honestly.’’
“Alright.’’
“I’m serious, Marissa.’’
“I see that.’’ I played with the hem of my t-shirt and bit on my lip. “What’s going on?’’
“Have you been in contact with Wyatt lately?’’
I blinked and immediately I felt myself shutting off. I crossed my arms and shook my head. “No.’’
“You have to be honest. I—‘’
“I am,’’ I blurted with more force than necessary. I drew in a deep breath and apologized. “I haven’t heard or seen Wyatt in weeks.’’
His frown slammed down and lines deepened on his forehead. “I’ll be blunt with you, Marissa. I’m sorry, but it’s necessary.’’ When I didn’t say anything, he went on. “I know you and Wyatt were together when you came for lunch a few weeks ago.’’
“Oh.’’
“Yes.’’ He scrubbed roughly at his face and then stared at me again. “I’m not judging.’’
“Aren’t you, though?’’
“I worry about my son, but no, I’m not judging. For some reason, he looked like it did him some good whatever was going on between the two of you, but I assume it’s over.’’
“And you want to know if it has anything to do with his disappearing act? Well, it doesn’t.’’ With warm cheeks and uncomfortable like I rarely had been before, I fidgeted. “He ended our relationship.’’
“What happened?’’
“Listen, hm… you should contact him.’’
“I’ve been calling him but he isn’t answering, and I just discovered that his hours had been reduced and with…’’ He trailed off then, his tight voice wavering as nerves broke the apparently controlled appearance. He was genuinely worried, and he was holding back something.
The hair on the back of my neck raised. “With what?’’
“I’m a cop, Marissa. When something isn’t turning right, my cop instinct takes precedence.’’
“Is Wyatt in trouble?’’ My chest tightened painfully. I might hate him for hurting me, but the part of me that fell for him worried about him, so much that I had to lean against the wall of InkSpired to keep me on my feet when my legs wobbled. “Tell me.’’
“I’ve been watching Wyatt's apartment these past four days, and I don’t like the people hanging around him. He pushed away Ralph too and now… Damn it!’’ He paced in front of me and shook his head. “I don’t know what’s going on. He never returned Ava’s calls, he has addicts and dealers and…’’ He cut himself off and looked at me with an apology in his eyes.
“Women. He has women over.’’
“Yes. All of this isn’t like him. I’m worried, but I don’t want to tell Lydia about any of this before I get to the bottom of it. I thought maybe…’’
“I was the source of his attitude.’’ With a choked voice, I looked down to the cracked pavement and my white sneakers, a gift from Sophie to celebrate my good news and to cheer me up. “He’s a complexed man with issues, but I didn’t end things. He did and hurt me pretty badly right when I thought that he was through trying to push me away. I don’t know what to tell you or what to do.’’
“Nothing.’’ He put a hand on my shoulder and waited for me to tilt my head up. “Just let me know if he contacts you.’’ He pulled his worn leather wallet from his back pocket and extended his card. “Day or night you call me.’’
“I will. I sincerely hope Wyatt is okay.’’
“I’m sorry he’s hurt you, Marissa, but I know my son. He cares about you deeply.’’
“Not enough apparently.’’ I held up the card and nodded. “Good luck, Danny.’’ I pocketed the card and walked back inside with my mind full, with worries tensing my shoulders and with a bad feeling in my gut.
It looked like my heart wasn’t too shredded if it was able to break more than it was already at the thought of anything happening to Wyatt.
“What was that?’’ Sophie asked as I rounded the front desk to go back to my chair. Distractedly, I grabbed the drawing pad and pencil, leaving the eraser next to the keyboard that Sophie was finishing to clean with a damp cloth.
“I’m not sure. It looks like Wyatt might be in trouble.’’
Her eyebrows shot up in silent question, but I shook my head in answer. Her attention was called to the front door when her appointment walked in for a Prince Albert. As she welcomed the leanly muscled guy with what could be a permanent scowl etched on his face, I glanced around InkSpired to make sure Kam was still busy with a client and dialed Ralph.
He answered on the second ring with a rough hey.
“Hey, it’s me, Marissa.’’
“Hm, hey, girl. What’s up?’’
“You okay?’’
“Uh-hu. Just have a motherfucking hangover.’’
“Were you with Wyatt last night?’’
“What? Nah, I told you he’s been avoiding me.’’ He cleared his throat, and I heard him moving around and drink something. I hoped he wasn’t on a bender or something. “I’ve been drowning my sorrows on my own. Sad, right? Why do you ask anyway?’’
“Danny Burton stopped by InkSpired to ask me if I had any news from Wyatt. He knows about… You know.’’
“You two? Yeah, Mr. Burton is pretty good at knowing that kind of stuff.’’ He yawned and then cursed when I heard something crash on his end. “Are you going to tell me why you’re calling or do I need to guess? I’m telling you, my brain is mush right now, and I can barely keep my eyes open.’’
“Danny said Wyatt has been hanging with the wrong crowd.’’
“Wrong crowd?’’
“Junkies, dealers. Apparently, he also has his kicks out with women.’’
“Shit, Marissa.’’
“Don’t worry. It’s fine.’’ I lied through my teeth and looked down at my sketch and quickly dried my eyes before tears fell on the paper and ruined my work. “It’s none of my business, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. It’s stupid, isn’t it? He’s hurt me, but I’m trying to look out for him even though he couldn’t care less about me.’’
“You don’t know that.’’ He sighed down the phone. “I don’t want to downplay it or anything, but sex isn't always meaningful. Sometimes we have sex to forget someone or something.’’
“Yeah, it’s not helping much, but that’s the thought that counts. I just wanted to let you know about Wyatt.’’
“You’re a great person, girlie. I’m sorry he—‘’
“Don’t.’’ I sniffled and hated myself for being so weak. I hadn't been such a crybaby when stuck in a hospital bed, having to rehab my whole body to learn how to walk again years ago, but give me a broken heart, and I’m a mess. “It was a mistake right from the start. Shit happens.’’
“Alright. I’ll poke around and see what’s up with the jerk. Thanks for the heads up.’’
“You’re welcome. But when you see him don’t tell him I’ve been worrying or, you know.’’
“You got it. Take care, girlie.’’
“You too, Ralph.’’
Phone on the desk and drawing pad in hands, I stared blankly ahead. I didn’t see anything that surrounded me. I was consumed by thoughts of Wyatt with random women in his bed, his kitchen. Everywhere we were together.
That pain was evil but necessary, the realization that I had put whatever it had been between us on a pedestal too. Knowing that it only took days, maybe even less to forget about me and erase my touch from his skin hurt and destroyed the useless hope lingering deep inside me.
Sometimes, even if a twist of fate entwined your lives, it didn’t mean that you would ever be more than that.
***
WYATT
Thinking that I had been worried sick about my lack of money only two weeks ago had me somberly laughing as I splashed water on my face in the bathroom. Thankfully, it was devoid of puke this morning, unlike the previous day.
My bank account was stuffed with dirty money, and I wasn’t worried about paying my bills on time or affording food and my energy drinks anymore. Instead, I was disgusted with my place, feeling like a stranger in my own home.
Every fucking day was spent with people at home, from Tim the asshole to my father with countless other worthless shits and the women that seemed drawn to them, or probably to the fix, they could give them.
Disgust didn’t cover it.
By looking at me in the mirror, you’d think I was hungover or coming down from a high, but I hadn’t touched alcohol or drugs. I’ve been squeaky clean, always attentive to who was around, to what could happen. So far, I had been able to contain the mess inside my apartment without getting a visit from my neighbors asking who were all these people and why was there noises from drunken brawls and high giggles from girls that made my skin crawl. I had to keep my mouth shut and let their shoddy manicured hands touch my arms and chest as they asked Tim and my biological father for ecstasy or whatever floated their boat.
That was my fucking life, a life that trapped me while giving me what I had been looking for. Money.
I had to quit my job two days ago when I called in late because I didn’t want to leave my place with someone inside or unattended with all the drugs lying around. I was freshly unemployed, and yet my asshole of a genitor threw money at me with a smirk, probably sure he had me by the balls and was fast converting me to his way of life.
With a last scowl to myself, I left the bathroom and walked into the living room, finding my biological father sprawled on the couch, again. I kicked his foot and crossed my arms, narrowing my eyes at him as he groaned and opened his eyes slowly. They squinted at me and then he waved me off.
“What the fuck do you want?’’
“You and the drugs out. That’s what I want.’’
He laughed then, the same fucking laugh that gave me nightmares. “What are you going to do without the money if I get the drugs out, uh? Do you have a new job? A new inheritance?’’
“Shut up.’’
“You keep your mouth shut, son,’’ he snapped and jerked to his feet, swaying until he grabbed the neck of my t-shirt and tugged. I pushed him off and glared, determined not to let him get the best of me.
It took me two weeks to realize that there was nothing more to the man than what I had already known. The stuffed turtle was nothing more than a prop to use against me, probably stored somewhere for that reason alone. After all, the man lived to make my life hell.
“Or what? It's my apartment.’’
“Yeah, and you’ve let drugs in here, drug deals happened here too. What do you think cops will do if they get an anonymous tip?’’
“Your ass is on the line too.’’
“Oh, but I know that. Contrary to you, I know how this game is played. You? You’d end up in jail, with your dear family in tears and that piece of ass you can’t forget disgusted with you.’’
“Don’t talk about her. I told you already.’’
“Then don’t push me, son. Do you think I haven’t seen the way you look at the pictures on your phone? That’s weak.’’
“Better weak than a piece of scum like you.’’
“Because you’re so much better than me, Wyatt. Look around. You’ve let me in your life. You’ve let the drugs in your home. You’ve let scums like me here. You’ve watched silently a young man not much older than you get beaten to a pulp right where you stand because he messed up a delivery. You’re not better, Wyatt. My blood runs through your veins, never forget it.’’ He smirked at me then and pushed me with enough strength that I felt the bite of his fingers in my chest. I let the momentum take me away from him and watched him gather his joints, take a vial full of coke or heroin, I had no clue and left.
There on the coffee table, where my eyes couldn’t look away, drugs of all kinds were scattered. More were on the dining table and the entertainment unit.
If I wanted to protect my family, Ralph and Marissa before, now I wouldn’t be able to face them. Not with the way my life had turned.
Not now that the monster was back in my life and I was so damn lost that nothing else made sense other than the reality that awaited me in the future.
I would become the man I despised most.