WAKING UP NEVER failed to jolt me into awareness. Not because of the obviousness of switching sleep to consciousness but because my body and mind sometimes believed I was still in the white mansion in Crete.

Before, opening my eyes was never a favourite pastime. I’d wished I could sleep forever to avoid what my days entailed. But now…now I opened my eyes and my heart suffocated from pure, unfiltered joy.

It was Christmas and birthdays and every hallelujah moment when I woke and found I no longer lived in hell.

I lived with Elder.

Elder.

Asleep beside me, a slight frown marred his forehead, his lips pressed sternly as if he battled sleep demons even though the ones in real life had been vanquished.

I rubbed my chest where my heart swelled to ten times its normal size.

Love.

I’m in love.

I’m safe.

I’m happy.

I stopped breathing.

I’m…happy.

Such simple words—a sentence normally said flippantly or taken for granted.

But for me? To be able to say I understood what that string of letters meant and to fully grasp the depth of contentedness and gratefulness in just being alive?

Wow.

Rolling onto my back, I looked around Elder’s room and the carpet and chair where we’d had sex last night.

We’d gone from hardly touching and living with strict rules to attacking each other.

I had carpet burn on my spine, internal bruises that ached, and a bitten lip from kissing too hard.

But I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I loved every scratch and scrape.

There was no stopwatch counting down to another war. No shadows waiting on the fringes to steal our newfound happiness. All we had to do was visit his mother and then decide where we wanted to explore next.

More islands or mainland? Hot or cold? Uncivilized or city?

Once again, my body heated with utmost gratefulness and love for the man who’d made this possible.

Turning my head, I focused on the open cupboard where his cello used to rest. The straps and padding to protect the instrument looked strangely lonely with nothing to hold.

For so long, I’d hated whenever he played. I’d cringe the moment any thread of music infiltrated the silence of the Phantom.

But last night, I’d become his cello, and it’d reminded me just how much he missed his outlet. I hadn’t heard his songs since we’d returned from France. I hadn’t even noticed his favourite possession was missing.

I hated that I hadn’t noticed.

I regretted that I hadn’t asked him why he ceased playing.

Elder hadn’t told me what happened, but as I slid out of bed and padded naked to the empty cupboard, the sole of my foot hit something sharp tucked in the soft carpet.

Bending down, I plucked it from the strands.

A tiny shard with a few small pieces of horse hair still attached.

My heart sank.

Oh, no.

Was this part of his bow?

I’d seen how hard he was on those things, tearing the strings with music, turning it from neat to straggly and broken.

Running my fingers over the strange pockmarks in the cupboard, I pieced together what’d happened.

Bullets.

My shoulders fell.

Elder had lost his cello the night he’d lost me.

And unlike fighting for my return…he couldn’t do anything for his cello and had to bury his treasured instrument.

Glancing at Elder still sleeping behind me, I wished I could find a way to—

“…at least you’ll have a couple hundred grand to buy your own place or pay for yourself on your adventures rather than rely on Mr. Prest.”

I had money now.

My mother had trusted me with her life savings. I had my own pennies and dollars that I could use to gift back what was lost.

The instant the idea arrived I sped into the bathroom and stole a terrycloth robe from the back of the door. Covering my nakedness, I looked at Elder one last time before vanishing from the bedroom and stepping onto the bright sunny deck.

Unlike the muggy heat of the Caribbean, we’d sailed overnight and entered the slightly crisper air of America. New York glittered on the horizon with the Statue of Liberty barring entry to the harbour to anyone who didn’t deserve passage.

I didn’t have much time before I had to dress and prepare for the day. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I’d do it a hundred times over if it made it easier for Elder.

Keeping my thoughts on cellos and music instead of what today entailed, I scurried along the polished deck, smiling at staff and waving at Jolfer in the bridge. I found who I was looking for as I rounded the stern and skipped to a stop. “Selix.”

He looked up from where he wrote in a manifest, ticking off some maintenance check. The Phantom was a living, breathing thing, and I’d come to respect the toil and time it took to ensure her rigging, instruments, and every-day upkeep was impeccable.

Lowering his clipboard, he scanned my hastily tied robe, arching his eyebrow. “You’re up early this morning.”

I blushed a little as the neckline gaped. I’d become used to clothes, and no longer hated them, but I still wasn’t as modest as I probably should be. Skin was skin. But I clutched the robe tighter, re-cinching the belt. “I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

“Help? With what?” He cocked his head. “Shouldn’t you be asking Elder?”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s for him, and I want it to be a surprise.”

Selix stilled, looking over my head toward Elder’s quarters. His loyalty sometimes meant he didn’t sway from the status quo.

I rushed, “I know his cello is gone. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss his music.”

“What’s that got to do with me?” He crossed his arms, the clipboard slotting against his chest.

“I want to replace it.” I brushed back whipping hair from the ocean breeze. “I have money given to me by my mother. I received notification last week that the account was available and in my name. I-I want my first purchase to be for Elder.” I shrugged. “After everything he’s given me…it’s nothing in comparison. But I want to do something nice. Something that he wouldn’t expect.”

“So you want to buy him a cello?”

“I do.”

“It’s not a simple matter, Pim. Things like that are personal. He’d want to test them.”

“But I want it to be a surprise.”

Selix sighed. “You know what today is, right?”

I nodded. “Yes. That’s why I want to do this…so at least he has something nice when we get back home. Just in case…”

He rubbed his face. “Yeah, okay.” He shot me a smile. “You’re annoying, but you treat him well. I like that.”

I blushed again. “So…you’ll do it?” I had no idea how much cellos cost or where he’d have to travel to get one. I hadn’t exactly been in the market for one before, but I trusted Selix to achieve the impossible.

“I’ll do it.” He placed the clipboard on a giant spool of rope. “I’ll go now so I’m back for when you guys are ready to leave.” He came closer. “What’s your budget? Those things aren’t cheap.”

I stood taller. I wanted to say he could have every penny in the account, but that would be unfair to my mother. That money was essentially to make her feel better. For her to know I would never again be trapped by anyone. But it would also be hers when she was released. And no way in hell would I blow through it like some ungrateful brat. “Buy two of the best ones you can find.”

“Two?” His eyebrow quirked. “Why two?”

I moved away, aware time was short and Elder would be waking any second. “So he can choose which he prefers, of course.”

“You’re as crazy as he is.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

He chuckled, brushing past me. “I’ll send the bill to you if I find something decent.”

“You’re the best.” I blew him a kiss as he headed off to arrange a speed boat or submarine or whatever method of transportation he needed to race ahead of us, dock, and shop before Elder and I were ready for today’s appointment.

Today wouldn’t be fun.

His mother’s forgiveness wouldn’t be as easy as buying a cello, but at least if everything went to crap, I’d be able to give him a tiny piece of something he’d lost.

Then it was up to other people to give the rest.

I just had to hope that one day, they would.

* * * * *

I swear time wasn’t uniform.

I was almost positive an allotment of minutes could change, depending on how enjoyable or unwanted a situation was.

Years as a slave…an eternity.

Months at sea…a single second.

And now, as Elder clutched my hand while we stood on the stoop of a nondescript, cookie-cutter house in Brooklyn, I swore time had systematically sped up to deliver us to this moment, then slowed to decades now we were here.

I didn’t speak—it wasn’t my place.

My place was holding his hand and supporting him.

Selix slouched with his arms crossed behind us, guarding the black car. He’d given me a nod when we’d docked as he returned from my errand.

He’d bought what I’d asked—not that I’d seen them—and, hopefully, Elder would appreciate my gifts rather than hate them.

“Christ, why is this so hard?” Elder muttered under his breath as he reached up and knocked on the black-painted front door.

I squeezed his fingers, staying silent. His question didn’t need an answer.

He knew.

This was hard because his family had shunned him for years, and he was a sucker for punishment. Any other person would’ve walked away by now. Anyone else wouldn’t have put up with the cold shoulder for so long.

But Elder…he never stopped blaming himself and living in their disgust. This was his past, and it had so many unfinished threads.

Footsteps sounded inside the dwelling, responding to his knock.

I froze as Elder’s fingers vised around mine.

The front door swung open.

A man I didn’t recognise blinked, glanced at me and Elder, then scrunched his nose in confusion. “Can I help—” He did a double take, his forehead wrinkling as shock took hold. “Holy hell. Mik? Is that really you?”

Elder swallowed, jutting his hand out to shake. “Hello, Uncle Raymond. Nice to see you again.”

Instead of taking his hand and accepting Elder’s hello, he pushed forward, forcing us back off his stoop and closing the door behind him with a worried glance inside. “What are you doing here? You know she doesn’t want to see you.”

Elder sighed painfully. “I know, but I have news. I need to tell her in person.”

Raymond rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not so sure about—”

The door swung open behind him. “Ray, what the hell are you doing lurking— ”

Elder sucked in a breath, his full attention locked on his mother. “Okaasan.”

“No.” She growled, moving to slam the door. “Go away.”

Unlike before in Monte Carlo when Elder stood by and let his mother dictate his replies and stayed subservient to her pain, he slapped a palm against the door, keeping it open. “They’re dead.”

His eyes blazed, not wasting breath on apologies or requests for her to listen.

His mother turned white, her hand still on the door, flimsy and loose. “What?”

“The Chinmoku who killed Kade and Otōsan. They’re dead. Finally.”

His mother stumbled backward, landing in a cane chair with shoes neatly placed on a rack beside it. “You killed them?” Her tone was accusing and grateful all at the same time.

Elder moved into the foyer and fell to one knee in front of her. He didn’t dare touch her, but he murmured, “I swore to you that I’d avenge them. It took longer than I hoped, but it’s done. You’re safe now, and I’ll respect your decision not to see me again but I had to let you know I kept my promise even if I was the reason they’re dead in the first place.”

His mother stilled, her eyes filling with tears.

Elder shifted closer, bowing his head and whispering things in Japanese.

I wasn’t privy to what he said, but his mother’s face shattered from hatred to sorrow. She bent over, wrapping her arms around her waist as tears fell swift and fat, plopping onto the dark red dress she wore with white cranes on the front panels. Immaculately dressed with greying black hair tied into a bun—a woman coming apart before her son.

Her tears looked healing as well as agonising, but even in the depth of her grief, she didn’t reach for Elder, didn’t embrace him, didn’t apologise in turn for all the harsh cruelty she’d thrown in his face throughout the years.

But Elder didn’t need any of that.

Whispering a little longer in his native tongue, he stood and pressed a kiss against her hair then backed away. Crossing the threshold, he jumped as Raymond, with equally greying hair and smart corduroys, rested his hand on Elder’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

Elder gritted his teeth. “I understand she’ll never forgive me, but at least, our family is safe now. I had to tell you in person. I’m sorry for the years of uncertainty and the pain I brought upon us.”

Raymond shook his head. “Time is a healer, Miki-san. You were young. We all make mistakes. It’s not the mistakes that should be held against us or define who we are but how we deal with them.”

Dropping his hand, he smiled. “You went above and beyond to repair what was broken. Your mother might not be able to move past her grief right now, but eventually, she’ll learn to see that you are her only remaining son and you fought for her safety every day of your life. She does love you. Probably too much and that’s why she has kept her distance.”

Elder nodded, unconvinced. “Regardless, I can accept her need never to see me again now I know she’s safe.” He bowed. “Goodbye, Ojisan. Thank you for giving her the family I stole from her.”

Elder took my hand and pulled me away from the house.

I didn’t ask questions or pause to see if his mother only needed time to cry before running out with arms outstretched and love scripted on her heart.

We reached the gate, trading quaint garden path for street curb. I looked back, expecting to see the front door closed and no grieving widower watching her son disappear.

Instead, I gasped as Elder’s mother clutched the frame with a hand balled over her heart. She never took her eyes off Elder and he froze to the spot as he met her gaze.

They stared for an eternity.

They stared for a lifetime.

And then, finally, after so much bitterness and heartbreak, she nodded.

A single nod, a simple bow. A motion that spoke of heaviness and pain and years of bottling up emotional tragedy.

A thank you. An apology. An acknowledgment that she no longer needed to live with ghosts.

Elder nodded back.

And then we left as if that soul-tearing moment hadn’t been years of struggle to reach. As if there was nothing to celebrate now the ice had cracked and a thaw had finally begun.

It’d happened so fast.

We’d sailed all this way for a ten-minute visit.

I wanted to do something to encourage love to sprout and laughter to fall, but I didn’t know how. This wasn’t my place, and I didn’t want to make it worse by interfering.

Elder seemed satisfied with what his mother had granted.

I had to be, too.

As we climbed into the car and Selix jumped into the driver’s seat, I snuggled close to Elder who hadn’t relaxed at all.

He sat stiff and poised as if shell-shocked that his mother had finally shown a different side to her cruelty.

Wrapping my arms around his middle, I pressed a kiss to his throat. “I know she loves you.”

My voice broke his spell.

Gathering me close, he returned my kiss, placing a delicate one on my hair just as he’d done for his mother. “Thanks to you, Pim, I no longer need her forgiveness to be happy. We’ve spent so long apart now that I can live the rest of my life without her in it as long as you are with me. At least I can die knowing she’s safe and I’ve done my best to fix what I broke.”

Family were fragile creatures, and I didn’t know if his mother would reach out again or be satisfied with this ending.

All I could do was be his new family for as long as he wanted me.

* * * * *

We didn’t return to the Phantom that night, or the next, or the next.

We spent a week exploring New York, eating in a variety of restaurants, staying in different hotels to sample all styles of architecture and lifestyle in the city.

The first two days exploring, Elder was quiet, his mind still on his mother. I’d dreamed of a happier reunion—of her leaping into her oldest son’s arms and promising never to be distant again. I still flinched in hope whenever Elder’s phone rang—hoping it was a belated apologises or invitations to talk and share.

But no call came, and we continued living as two. Well, three technically.

Selix was always by our sides, exploring and delivering sarcastic quips on locals and tourists alike.

The week flew by and New York showed us her best, but as much as I loved the bustling, vibrant metropolis, I was ready for the rock and sway of the ocean.

On our last night in the city, we went to dinner in an exclusive club reserved for Wall Street officials.

Elder was invited by a client who’d ordered a yacht earlier last year and wanted to introduce him to some cashed up friends who wished to order something similar.

Just like with the meeting with the prince in Morocco, I listened proudly beside Elder as he took control of the meeting with his effortless charism and skill, scribbling amendments on blueprints before scanning them back to his workers at the warehouse.

Unlike Morocco, this time I talked if a question was asked. This time, I was confident to converse with men in four-thousand-dollar suits and wives in fifty-thousand-dollar diamonds.

I was no longer afraid of this world—they were just people, and I was with Elder. And he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me.

His new clients were courteous and kind and ensured I was included in conversation while Elder was asked about delivery time-frames, budgets, and recommendations on what he believed would best suit their needs.

Elder might’ve stolen a colossal amount of wealth, but he’d made his own through hard work, great vision, and determination.

By the time desserts were finished and after-dinner coffees sipped, Elder had secured three new commissions with a price tag of a hundred million dollars each.

As we left the restaurant, he slapped Selix on the back. “It’s official, Selix. A few more instalments to my debt and all of this is ours.”

“Yours, not ours,” Selix immediately responded.

Elder chuckled, stalking forward to open the car door for me. “Ours. I’ve already had the necessary paperwork drawn up. The moment that final instalment is paid, I’m signing over fifty percent of my company to you.”

Selix slammed to a stop. “Is this your way of telling me to fuck off? That you don’t want me sailing with you anymore?” His eyes flickered to mine, mirroring my uncertainty.

Elder laughed again. “Hell no, you’re family as much as Pim is. I never want you to leave, but I also don’t want you to keep up this employee act.” Elder waved at the car. “I can drive myself, you know. I have staff capable.”

Selix huffed. “You know why I do what I do, Prest.” Pain shadowed his features, sending messages and stories that I didn’t understand. All I knew was Selix had suffered heartbreak in his past, and perhaps looking after Elder was his way of soothing those wounds.

“I know, and you can continue doing so if you wish.” Elder lowered his voice. “But the company wouldn’t exist without you. I wouldn’t exist without you. It’s time you had your own piece of what we created together.”

“We’ll see about that.” Selix huffed again and slid into the driver’s seat. “Let’s go home.”

“On second thought.” Grabbing my hand, Elder pulled me from the car then laughed at his old friend as he growled in annoyance. “We’ll take a walk in Central Park before we leave. Consider this your night off, Selix. Go be reckless.”

Before Selix could argue, Elder slammed the door and strode off with me in his grip.

I trotted beside him, looking back as Selix gripped the steering wheel looking entirely pissed off.

“Was that wise?” I asked, wincing as Selix flipped us the bird as we crossed the road to the park.

Elder chuckled. “It’s time he learns.”

The farther we moved away from streetlights and Selix, the more nerves filled me at walking on our own. After being hunted by the Chinmoku and being kidnapped, my wariness wasn’t exactly on the lowest setting.

Considering Elder had come to New York to find closure with his mother, the week here had been good for him. He’d shared tales of his life living on the streets. He’d pointed out stores where he pilfered a hot dog after not eating for two days. He regaled me with stories of snatching wallets from prams as new mothers strolled past.

He wasn’t proud, but he was honest, and New York was more than just a city to visit but a ghost town full of past choices.

Stepping into the night-shrouded park, I tensed even as pretty path lights shooed away the darkness and the occasional dog walker or jogger made it a welcoming place.

Elder noticed my nervousness, raising my hand to kiss my knuckles. “Don’t worry, Pim. I’ll take care of you.”

“It’s not just that,” I whispered. “It’s just…it’s hard to believe it’s all over.”

“I know. I’m struggling to believe it, too.” He looked over his shoulder. “Even now, I feel like we’re being watched even though I know it’s just paranoia.”

I copied him, glancing into the shadows and the manicured paths and hedges. My skin prickled as if eyes were on us.

Someone is watching.

A twig snapped, sending me closer to Elder’s comforting bulk. “Are you sure we’re safe?”

He narrowed his gaze into the gloom. “It’s just the park.”

“The park?”

He strode forward. His body relaxed, but his eyes never lost their sniper glare on everything around us. “The trees have a way of making you feel like you’re being watched.” He flashed me a half-smile. “Living on the streets, you constantly feel like you’re being stalked. Central Park is no different.” He laughed under his breath. “In fact, I met a guy here on my second year living rough. A guy called Penn Everett. I was good at stealing things, but he was great at staying hidden even in plain sight.”

Moving under the moon with skeleton trees and tiny leaves creating stencils on the pavement, I asked, “What happened to him?”

“No idea. He vanished one night and never came back.”

Ideas that he’d been murdered or arrested filled my mind. I hated to think so many people had it rough and not all of them ended with happy endings like mine.

Another twig crunched, whipping me to a standstill as I looked over my shoulder. “I swear someone is following us.”

Elder turned, his hand still around mine while his other tightened into a fist. He called into the night, “Who’s there?”

No reply.

He marched forward into the black spots untouched by streetlights. He didn’t pause as he reached a bush where a faint rustling noise came from. Shooting his arm into the undergrowth, he shook the branch of a sapling. “Who—”

Something tiny shot from the foliage, bashing into my legs and squeaking in fear.

“Oh, my God.” I jumped to the side as Elder bolted forward and scooped the racing body from the ground.

He held the wriggling, terrified puppy aloft. “I think we’ve found our stalker.”

The puppy yipped as Elder cuddled it close, uncaring about the dirty fur or the tiny teeth.

I looked into the bush, searching for a pissed-off mother or more litter mates but found nothing. Only bracken and forgotten rubbish swept into hiding by the wind.

Moving toward Elder, who’d calmed the puppy with a gentle hand on its head, I asked, “Where do you suppose he’s come from?”

“Probably abandoned. I’ve come across lots of pets in this place. All unwanted…kind of like the humans who inhabit this place illegally.”

I shivered. “That’s terrible.”

“That’s life.” Elder held the puppy aloft, looking at the dangling, gangly legs and hesitantly wagging tail. “He’s just a mutt. He’ll either survive or not.” Placing the pooch back down, he came toward me. “Circle of life even if it is cruel.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off the little dog. Sensing freedom, I expected it to charge off and vanish, but it sniffed around our legs, bright black eyes inquisitive if not a little wary. Bending down, I let it sniff my hand. “Hi, little one.”

It licked me.

And that was it for my stupid heart.

Tess had mentioned adoption—that a baby could come from other ways than just my broken body. She’d hinted that sometimes adoption was the better choice as you were saving a life rather than creating one.

Here, I had the chance to save a life.

A little canine life who wriggled his way into my heart in an instant. If that was the way it would be with adoption, then…perhaps, just perhaps, it wouldn’t be as terrifying as I’d thought.

Beckoning the puppy closer, I rubbed his little face before looping my hands beneath his belly and hoisting him into my arms. He didn’t yip this time; he snuggled close as if we’d earned his trust in such a short time. As if he knew what I was about to say.

Turning to Elder, I opened my mouth to argue for the little one’s life.

Elder crossed his arms and laughed. “Oh, Christ. That fast, huh?”

I laughed, shrugging, loving the way the pup licked my chin. “Do I need to put forth a debate?”

“A debate would be interesting, but I already know what you’re going to say.”

“In that case…” I grinned. “Can we?”

He rubbed his jaw, shaking his head with mirth. “The Phantom isn’t equipped for a dog, Pim.”

“Does it matter?” I giggled as the puppy squirmed closer, burrowing into my neck.

“Fuck, hearing you laugh makes me hard and hurt all at the same time.” He stepped closer. “If I’d known a simple mutt would make you this happy, I would’ve stolen one for you the moment I stowed you on board.”

I looked up, accepting his gentle kiss and shivering at the utmost adoration in his gaze. He didn’t look at the dog, only at me.

My tummy clenched. My heart whirled. I fell all over again. “So, we can keep him?”

Elder tickled the pup under its jaw, pressing a kiss to my cheek at the same time. “How can I say no?”

“By being honest and saying no.” I held my breath, my heart already bleeding at the thought of letting this little creature fend for itself in the cruel, cruel world.

Elder’s face softened as he cupped my cheek. “I’m always honest when it comes to you, Pimlico.”

“So you don’t want him?” I did my best to hide my pain, clutching the stray harder rather than preparing to let him go. I would obey Elder’s wishes, but it would hurt like hell.

“If he’s going to be a sea dog, he’ll need a proper name. Nothing stupid like Snoopy or Spot.”

“Truly?!” I leapt into his arms, squishing the puppy and raining Elder’s face with kisses. “We can call him anything you want.”

“Why am I already sensing this was a bad decision?”

I shut him up with a kiss.

That night, we sailed from New York with a new addition to our family.

One with four legs and a tail.

One who would most likely be called Spot.